50th Chapter Special Part 9.2: The Penultimate Part Part 2: Well That Escalated Quickly, I Mean That Really Got Out of Hoof Fast!
...Back in the present time...
Three minutes later, Twilight (one of them) came back through the portal. ''Okay! At last, we can discuss what to do with this nuisance known as Super Trampoline the shipper. So, any suggestions?''
Everyone shifted nervously and whispered to each other.
''You should tell her.''
''No, you tell her! This was your idea!''
''Uggghhh, fine.''
Cadance stepped forward. ''I'm so sorry Twilight. This isn't a convention. This is an intervention.''
COMMERCIAL BREAK
And last but not least:
And now back to our regularly scheduled programming
Twilight was shocked. "What?! An intervention? I don't get it. What do you mean? This-this is a conference on how to deal with Super Trampoline the shipper. W-what's going on?"
Confident Cadance continued to act as the spokespony for the group. "I'm sorry Twilight, but simply none of us care if Super writes silly stories about us. We know not to take them seriously. You, on the other hoof, are out of control. We all know what happens when you have your breakdowns Twilight. It isn't pretty. So no, I'm afraid we didn't come to stop shipping. We came to stop you."
Twilight looked around. Suddenly the friends and acquaintances surrounding her looked more like enemies. Worse than enemies. Traitors. They had betrayed her, the whole sorry lot of them.
Tears welled up in her eyes. “You... y-you lied? You lied. All of you! You LIED to me! W-why would you guys do this to me? I… I thought you all cared! I thought you cared about he who wrongs us with his nasty, nasty, poopy fiction! Don’t you all care about decency? Don’t you care about standards?! We need standards and decency, or it all goes to Tartarus! The shippers win! Do you want that?! Do we want that?! Do you and I want the shippers to win?! NO! No I say! THIS is where we stop it. THIS is where we draw the line! THIS is where we take a stand against shipping! Right here, right now, is where and when WE band together and stop this madness.
“Fellow ponies and assorted other creatures: years, decades, centuries, millennia from now, our progeny can look back in time, point to our spot in the history books, and say with pride ‘This, this was when our ancestors defeated the menace that plagued the land. This was when they changed history for the better. This was when they saved the world.’ They will say it with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts, because they speak of a beautiful thing. They speak of now, of right here, right now. Now my little ponies, NOW is when we save the world. Join me, my friends and acquaintances. Join me, and together, we can stop shipping.”
How do you respond to that? How do you respond to a speech so elegant and articulate, yet so hopelessly wrong? No one knew, so they all sat and stood dumbfounded in a semicircle around their princess of magic. Cadance leaned over and whispered down to Rainbow Dash.
“Hey Dash?”
“Yeah Cadance?”
“Remember how you insisted Twilight was too far gone, and I was all ‘No, nonsense; anypony can be fixed with the power of gentle and encouraging love’?”
“Yeah, what about it? You changing your tune?”
“Yeah, you were right Rainbow. She’s a lost cause. Let’s quit this joint while we still can.”
“Good idea.”
The two ponies were the first to trot towards the exit, continuing to chat while they did.
“So hey, you and Shiny wanna grab a beer? Celestia knows I could use one after this headache.”
“Yeah. I could use a lot more than one. I still have to give Sombra cotillion lessons this afternoon. Stupid bet with my husband. Please, shoot me now[1].”
Even the ultra-tough Rainbow Dash winced when she heard that.
They stopped at the town hall’s entrance and Cadance exchanged a few words with Shining Armor, then the three walked out, once again free ponies.
“So Shining,” Rainbow remarked, “You’re an awfully big brute to make your wife give Sombra cotillion lessons.”
Shining chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Really Caddy, you’re complaining? Rainbow, she must not have given you the whole story. She won that bet. I have to change his diapers.”
"Oh stallion, really? That sucks!"
"Yes. Yes, it does."
One by one, two by two, and in larger groups, all the creatures in the room made their way out the double doors to freedom. Twilight just sat there on her haunches, watching in horror as all around her all her long hours of schedule planning, letter writing, stamp licking, hall reserving, and hotel room booking toppled down in flames.
The place emptied out, leaving Twilight alone sniffling softly and sobbing into her right primary feathers. “We… we didn’t even do the ice breaker.”
This was horrible. She hadn’t felt this broken and defeated since the time Discord stole her friends away. She just wanted to shrivel up into a ball and listen to Filly Vanilli. Suddenly a midnight blue wing draped itself over her.
“We know how you feel Twilight.” Twilight finished sucking phlegm from her sinuses into her mouth and looked up to see the princess of the night doing her best to make a compassionate face. She still had work to do in the modern facial expressions department, but Twilight appreciated the effort put into the gesture.
“Princess Luna? What are you doing still here?”
“Permission to attempt to use modern linguistic patterns, your highness?”
“Uh, you outrank me. You don’t need to ask me for permission. But um, permission granted."
Luna cleared her throat. "Ahem! To use current vernacular, I feel you Twilight. The others here are harshing your mellow; I dig. I too, know what it’s like to be the only one on your wavelength. It hella sucks doesn’t it."
Even as a bookworm, Twilight couldn’t help but smile at Luna’s massacre of the Equestrian language. At least she was trying to get with the times. “Heh, Yeah, you do Luna. Thanks for being here. If not for you, I might have turned into Nightmare Twilight or something. Then I’d be all ‘The Convention shall last… FOREVER!’”
("Also, Books for all!")
She chuckled. Luna, however, was nonplussed.
“Too soon?” Twilight asked.
Luna nodded. “I’m afraid it may be ‘too soon’ for a while yet. But that’s neither here nor there. Let’s get on with your conference.”
Twilight’s who body instantly purged itself of mopeyness. “Really? You’ll still help me?”
“Sure. Some princess bonding time never killed anypony[2].”
“Oh my gosh Luna! Thank you so much!” She wrapped the elder alicorn in a huge hug. “You don’t know how much this means to me!”
Luna smiled. “No problem. So what’s the plan?”
Twilight stepped away and faced her accomplice with a malicious grin. “It’s simple. We kill kidnap the bat pony.”
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Aww, poor Twilight.
Is it wrong that I now want to read a story about Princess Bonding Time?
3909947 not at all.
3922908
Well, I can't argue with that.
4001328 Oh hell yes! That is my kind of kink!
Now, to participate, how does one go about doing so - should I just think up my own weird ship or...?
4001333 Basically, yes. Try to make it 100 words, though I can tweak it if needed. The key to remember is that fimfiction thinks "quotation marks" are words, so use double 'apostrophes' instead. I'm about to have a guest author week because Twilight is about to kidnap me.
4001339
Ok, then.
And this is why I still come back to this site once a while.
huh. Apparently I never fixed that. anyway, now it says bookworm.
Luna...
...YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY REDICULOUS! OH, I COULDN'T HELP BUT LAUGH!