Unofficial sequel to Past Sins.
Ten years after the events of Past Sins, Nyx is now a responsible young mare with the best friends a pony can ask for. It was because of the friendships she made in Ponyville that she was able to finally move on from her past and look forward to the future. But when unwanted memories start to resurface, Nyx begins to realize just what her future holds in store for her.
Can she ever truly escape her past, or is she destined to embrace it?
Nyx belongs to Pen Stroke.
Chapters (1)
I am really enjoying this! Hope to see another chapter soon!
Seems like it could be something good! Gonna follow this!
Also: "a good look of castle'', missing a 'the'
3353260
Thanks. I was kind of worried people might hate this.
3353291
Fixed. Much appreciated
some of the wording is not how i would have wrote it...and u have a little bit of trouble with the nasty homonyms, bt just about everyone has been there at some point...over all a good story start, it will be interesting to see where u take this. ive already read some stuff by Reality Check that talks about Nyx and where she went after the events in Past Sins and the companion stories with the exception of Winter Bells
3353717
I'll admit, I'm not overly fond of my choice of words either. Like I said, I'm going to go back and make some adjustments before continuing with the story. I should also consider getting someone to proofread my work.
you have a very Big cup to fill, i hope you make a great job
I have been looking forward to a Nyx grows up story. The Nyxnian alliance there was a short comic with Nyx taking overt he monster fighting job with dinky and the crusaders ,while twilight prepares to read to what appears to be her other "child", wish my google fu was strong enough to find it .
have you read the other past sins stories Nyx was at the castle on Night mare night.
Princess Luna used the castle as a party headquarters
great work keep writing
Nice job! Your physical description of Nyx and how she has grown could use some detail I think; I had a hard time visualizing her.
I have really been wanting to see Nyx grow up, but this is a very ambitious project you have chosen. Nyx has been so well developed as an OC that it is going to be extremely difficult for you to bring her to life for your readers. "Nightmare Night and Nyx" by Reality Check revolves around what happens with Nyx's castle already, but I would like to see where you go with this.
3353817
Thanks. I hope so too.
3354012
I can't say I've read those other stories, but I'll check them out in my spare time. Maybe I could make my story canon with them, with the author's permission of course.
3354239
This is what I was thinking when I read over the chapter before submitting it. It was missing a lot of detail. But now I've got myself a proofreader, so maybe with her help I can provide a detailed description of Nyx. As for the castle, I might have to make some adjustments to that as well.
Wonderful start of a story about the most wonderful fanfic that was ever written. I hope you continue this because I'm looking forward to where this goes. ^^
3355599
I agree with my sister. This is a promising start.
3355283
Why thank you
3355599
Yes. This takes place ten years in the future, so Twilight has been an alicorn for quite some time now.
3355605
Thank you
3355283
Eh, I prefer Fallout Equestria over Past Sins.
Of course I'm completely biased because I'm a total sucker for Fallout.
3357611
I've never read Fallout Equestria, which is weird considering what a big Fallout fan I am.
Please we need More
3358240
Worry not. There will be more. Much more
3353765 Yes, proofreaders and editors do tend to make this sort of thing easier.
Because one thing that writing and gymnastics have in common is that it's better to have a safety net.
you young sir, have all my attention!!
keep it up
an orphanage!
Not sure if this means anything but I have a friend who that has a story called Nocturnal...
Just saying.
He's currently doing a re-write of chapter but it was up before this story.
Just mentioning it since the names are the same...
Here's a link to his blog describing the re-write:
Blog about Nocturnal re-write.
Wish you best of luck on your story.
3354327 The stories by RealityCheck are amazing! You should definitely read them.
3358355
Ain't that the truth
3359842
D'aww you're just saying that
3361429
That's not a bad idea, actually. I'm gonna write that down.
3362622
I can believe it. Nocturnal means awake at night, something that can be associated with Luna or Nightmare Moon. Unless his story is also about Nyx then it won't be a problem. If it is, though, that would be one hell of a coincidence.
3363762
Don't worry. I will
3364189
totally serious with that comment, anyhow keep it rolling
3364189
Luckily it isn't, it's about his OC named Black Star the has a second persona NAMED Nocturnal that is controlled by Nightmare Moon.
Anyway, good luck with your story! :D
3364259
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3990-sweetie.png
3364341
Oh boy. That's actually pretty similar to what I'm going to do with my story
3364382
Not quite, Nightmare Moon isn't controlling Black Star like she did Luna.
When I last read the story before he decided to re-write it Nocturnal was actually a long lost descendant of Nightmare Moon's first captain, Nocturnal.
Her captain was given some of her magic and powers to act as a secret weapon against Celestia.
So, every descendant of his is given that power but also must serve Nightmare Moon.
When the power first awoken in Black Star he accidentally went on a killing spree, hurting everypony that was at the inn he was staying in.
He then felt bad and wanted to kill himself after he regained control.
Because Black Star can also communicate with the Nightmare he can also talk with Luna.
She told him to listen to the Nightmare not to help her but because she knows that soon she will be banished (Elements of harmony strikes and remove the Nightmare from Luna) and they will both be free.
Anyway, this is around how far the author got before he decided to do a re-write.
Enjoy the (so-so) summary.
3361429
ha ha, Nyx discovers her love for children, lots of them.
IT FOR JACK TO LET ER RIP.
It knew this happen, She just like Radian From Metal gear universe
EDIT - Ah, shoulda read further
Oooooh, definitely keeping an eye on this one.
I liked this, but it needs work. You have a tendency to switch tenses occasionally, as well as a few other things.
I think you mean "devoid".
Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading more!
What exactly is going on in Nyx's life at this point?
Is she going to school?
Does she have a job?
What does she want to do? Guard? Medic? Librarian? Scientist? Mage?
Does she spend any time in Canterlot?
What are Nyx's friends up to?
Is this what Nyx looks like now?
th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2011/332/7/c/wet_nyx_dragon_eyes_by_zibags-d4hl8p8.png
3572460
When I finish writing it
for some reason this reminds me of force unleashed 1&2 nyx created to be evil but choose to be good like star killer hope some can make a fanfiction involving those 2
3578310 apparently not
we love this hope you do more
I'd love to read more ^^
contradictions, much?
5577749
When Nyx first came into existence, she was in the body of a 7 year old filly. So technically she is only 10, but she's got the body of 17 year old. THIS IS NOT HARD TO UNDERSTAND!
Don't know what stopped this story but you can be sure some of us diehard Nyx fans actually really like this.
Ignore your detractors, so some edits might be needed, so what, even Tolkien needed them too. If the story was sound with promise it should have a chance to see the light of day. I hope you rethink this & give it another try, PLEASE?
cdn.greet2k.com/greeting/encouragement-cat.gif
PLEASE
7327936
Agree'd
7327936
Yeah. These stories are really really good. If fact they are some of the best stuff I've seen. Please don't stop the stories.