For decades, Changelings have slithered their way into Equestria, but after their existence is proven, the government takes a drastic measure to ensure their eradication.
The image is a diagram of the chemical structure of the nerve agent known as VX in case anyone was wondering.
Of all the routes I could have taken with a biological nerve agent I had to take the cliche route. This story is bleh in terms of plot, and I am aware of that. I may be revisiting a nerve agent driven story later, but for now, read this for what not to do on a changeling story.
Chapters (1)
Yet another story swept under the rug...
It wasn't that unique anyway. Just an experimental story about changelings.
Lunar! Not another story left in the dust.
This was really good. I'm going to go promote it now. It deserves more views.
Sorry, but for me, this story isn't offering anything else but the same recycled demonization of ponykind as the fascist oppressors of the simpering, victimized Changelings that we see all the time in Changeling fanfictions with little to nothing else new to offer.
Look, I have no problem with stories dealing with the themes of prejudice and race relations; I find them to be themes with potential for great stories, but this story just goes for the same ham-fisted, over-the-top and reverse black-and-white morality approach to the Pony-Changeling matter that so many other authors in MLP fanfiction do; the ponies are collectively degraded into a society of dumbed-down, one-dimensional, genocidal brutes that would make the Reich proud and whose dialogue seriously reflects it, and judging by the description of them, this is also meant to be a swipe as their supposed privileged, corrupt and hypocritical society as the 'haves' to the Changeling's 'have nots'. Speaking of the Changeling victims here, well, yeah, that's pretty much all they are - the pitiful, woobified, and purely innocent victims who we are supposed to feel sorry for for being viciously persecuted by the ignorant, evil ponies.
This is by no means an attack on you as a person. I'm sure you're a great person. It's just that I've seen this so many times before and not only is it an affront to everything Equestria and pony society stands for in the show, but it's so recycled, it's become boring. Pretty much everything I expect to see from it is there and by the time of the main character's supposed tragic, unjust death, I feel nothing, though that's probably not helped by how short the story is. I don't feel sorry for the main character, I don't feel really even that much outrage and anger at the ponies, but instead, nothing.
Again, I've got nothing against you and I apologize if I have offended you in any way, but all I can do when it comes to these kind of stories nowadays is only this viewfromtheblueridge.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/facepalm.jpg
3349394
I'm going to assume you were the downvoter, and I totally get where you are coming from and I totally deserve the downvote (At least you have the balls to come out and explain the reason other than doing a drive by, thank you for that). This story was written without the typical care I usually give into researching cliches, something that I totally messed up big time with this story (Didn't realize it was that bad until I found a timely posted thread that described most of the hated changeling cliches. Almost all of which I used to their wit's end.). I agree, the society is one-dimensional, racist, kill-all-non-Equestrians bigots, I had the insane notion that this was 'typical yet reasonable'. Do not worry, my friend. This story was, as I noted earlier, an experiment, and here are the results.
*to self* Don't do it again you jackass. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS.
Other notes that are not as important
I wouldn't be so sure about that
I'm not offended, quite the contrary in fact. I'm honored that you would take the time to go through and pick apart the story to help me improve.
Well at least I didn't cry this time,
I didn't know that repressed Changelings was a thing... I guess I don't read enough Changeling fics; I think the last one was Friendship is Weird, but it didn't seem like that big of a deal.
3349448 This story gets a fav only so that i may remember how to avoid the same bs.
5477068
As it should be. Don't write like this, for it will not go well with you.
*spooky noises*
5477121 No offense but the ponies ARE a bit xenophobic. To the point that normal changelings wouldn't risk integrating with their society unless in desperation.