• Published 11th Oct 2011
  • 10,090 Views, 82 Comments

Surprise, Surprise - SaddlesoapOpera



Pinkie Pie is overjoyed when she meets a Pegasus who seems just like her. What could go wrong?

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Pinkie, Pinkie

PART TWO – Pinkie, Pinkie

Pinkie Pie felt betrayed – not by Surprise, but by herself.

She had stood up for herself and fought to keep her friends – her super-special Elements of Harmony friends, no less – so why did she feel so bad?

“It’s not fair!” she muttered.

She plodded down the stairs and into Sugarcube Corner’s main room, where numerous partygoers – including her friends – were still frozen in shock after seeing Surprise’s teary exit.

“Sorry, everypony,” said Pinkie, her eyes downcast. “Surprise and I got in a fight, and I don’t think she’ll be coming back.” She sighed glumly.

“Oh, that’s simply awful news, dah-ling,” said Rarity, putting a front hoof to her mouth in dismay. “I thought you two were getting along so well!”

“Yeah!” agreed Rainbow Dash. “She couldn’t stop talking about you!”

“Really…?” said Pinkie, her brows knitting in confusion.

“Totally!” Rainbow Dash swept a hoof out in a wide gesture. “I mean, on the way to the Boutique…”

“…Speaking of lift, I can’t believe that Pinkie Pie can walk on clouds, even though she’s an Earth Pony! That’s amazing! And is it true she drank a rainbow?” Surprise could barely contain her eager excitement.

“Well, a Unicorn we know actually did that cloud trick with a spell, but she SO drank one, yeah – right outta the mixing vat! I thought she was gonna EXPLODE!” Rainbow Dash laughed at the memory. “Oh, and get this: she built her own FLYING MACHINE!”

“NO…WAY!” Surprise pressed her front hooves to her cheeks. “That is so…AWESOME!”

Pinkie Pie’s eyebrows rose. “She…she said that?”

“She thinks the world of you, dear,” said Rarity. “Why, while I was styling Rainbow Dash’s coiffure…”

Surprise gasped. “Really? The whole town? How did she do it?”

“It was music that soothed the savage little beasts,” said Rarity. She clucked her tongue and magicked the cape resting around Rainbow Dash’s shoulders into a skin-tight wrap, binding the fidgeting Pegasus while she ran a levitating brush through her tangled mane. “She played a one-Pony band and danced them right out of town!”

“She plays music, too…?” Surprise whispered, awestruck. “Wow!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…this is a kwa-foor?” said Rainbow Dash with a touch of horror. “That wasn’t part of our deal!” She stirred her hooves on her mane, trying to undo the fine braid.

Rarity slapped a hoof to her forehead in annoyance.

“I don’t know about any of that,” said Twilight Sparkle, “but Surprise was definitely pretty excited to hear about how you always seem to be able to find the right book when we need it.”

“…An’ she couldn’t hear enough about all the cake-eatin’ contests you’ve won,” added Applejack.

Fluttershy cringed and mumbled something inaudible in Pinkie’s direction.

Pinkie trotted over and leaned in close. “Hmm…?” she said.

Fluttershy gulped. A soft blush rose up on the bridge of her nose. “S-She apologized a-about…about dropping me,” she whispered, “and she said she was just trying to do what you would have done.” Fluttershy cringed lower. “She was right, too…you always try to help me. That’s, um, that’s…that’s why I didn’t tell you this time. B-Be…B-Because…” Fluttershy’s blush had brightened to a deep cherry red and had spread to her whole face.

“I getcha,” said Pinkie, patting Fluttershy on the head.

Fluttershy murmured unintelligibly.

Pinkie Pie turned to face Twilight Sparkle. “Twilight, I need you to do that cloud-magic thingy on my hooves again. There’s something I gotta take care of…Pinkie Pie Style.

•••••••••••••••••••

Surprise plodded numbly into her cloud-built living room. Her dragging hooves left divots in the floor which her flat tail smoothed out behind her. She sat down heavily on a wide pillow.

She looked over to the opposite wall, where a collection of clippings from the Equestria Daily newspaper were pinned up between two windows. One headline read: Six fillies avert eternal night. Another read: Grand Galloping Gala a ‘Fiasco’: Pr. Blueblood. A third: Ponyville Six defeat Discord. Surprise sighed a self-pitying sigh.

And then a pink Earth Pony piloting a hoof-cranked flying machine smashed through the wall.

The contraption spun wildly as it careened into the room, but the pilot managed to guide it to a skidding upright stop.

“Okay, I really hope this one is the right house,” said Pinkie Pie, dismounting and dusting herself off. “Those last four Pegasi were super rude!” She turned, and her blue eyes met Surprise’s morose purple gaze. “Oh…!” Pinkie smiled triumphantly, but not for long. “Oh. Uh…hi,” she said softly, and meekly waved a front hoof.

Surprise frowned and turned away. “Wh-why are you here?” she muttered, clearly putting no small effort into keeping her voice from cracking.

Pinkie rubbed one foreleg with the other nervously. “I’m sorry I was a meanie before. I talked to my friends, and they said – well, I mean they explained…” Pinkie Pie grunted, annoyed with herself. “If you knew who I was and you thought I was so awesome, why didn’t you just say so?”

“Are you crazy?” said Surprise, rolling over to face Pinkie once more. “I couldn’t just talk to you!”

Pinkie Pie raised an eyebrow. “Uhhhhh….why not?”

“Well, DUH – maybe because you’re just the most famous party-Pony ever?” Surprise pointed at the clippings on the wall. “It took me forever to work up the courage to get your attention, and after that joy-buzzer bit I was fresh outta material! I mean, how could I measure up to you? You can throw a party together in a minute flat! You saved Equestria! Twice! You’re my idol! I even got my Cutie Mark because of you!”

Pinkie shook her head until it rattled. “I am? You did?”

“Yeah! When I was a little filly…”

Surprise sat on the lone cloud and heaved a heavy sigh. She brushed a lock of straight blonde mane out of her eyes with a hoof. “Dumb popular Pegasi,” she muttered. “Oh, come play hide-and-seek with us, Surprise! I bet you’re reeeaaally good at hiding!” She stomped a hoof on the cloud. “Yeah, right! Hide-and-seek? More like hide-and-get-left-there-on-purpose! …By jerks!” She scowled. “I spent the day crammed inside a rain cloud, AND I missed a Sonic Rainboom! A SONIC RAINBOOM!” She growled in frustration.

She leaned over the edge of the cloud and looked down at the world below. “Maybe I should just give up on bein’ a Pegasus,” she lamented. “Maybe I should just hit the dirt and go farm rocks like those boring Earth Ponies…”

The family in question trotted out of their farmhouse, looking for all the world like the least exciting Ponies who ever lived. But then a frizzy pink foal burst out of the silo door, accompanied by raucous music and several escaping balloons. The Earth Ponies were having a party!

“Whah…?”

Surprise watched the balloons as they rose up to meet her. They were backlit by the morning sun, silhouetted in the bright light. As Surprise reached out a hoof toward one of them, the heat and altitude made them pop. She yelped excitedly and leaped backward on the cloud, and then collapsed into a fit of giggling. “Forget those stupid popular Pegasi!” she exclaimed. “If that Earth Pony can be happy, then I can, too! I’ll have fun, and laugh, and play pranks! I’ll be…” She rubbed her head on the cloud’s cottony surface. Static electricity sparked through her hair, and her mane popped into a mess of frizzy tangles. “...A PARTY-PONY!”

A shimmer of destiny sparkled on her flanks, leaving a trio of balloon silhouettes in its wake.

“I never forgot that, and then years later I found out you were famous, too!” said Surprise, a touch of her former excitement returning to her voice. “I read all about the awesome stuff you and your friends did…” Surprise’s delight faded. “…But then I made you mad, and now you totally hate me.” Her frown was so heavy it seemed to pull her entire body toward to the floor.

Hey…!” said Pinkie. “That isn’t true! I told you already – I was the one wearing the meanie-pants back there!” Pinkie looked down at her front hooves. “I just got so…jealous! I was scared they’d…they’d all like you more than me. I mean, you know all about flying–”

Surprise raised an eyebrow. “I’m a Pegasus.”

“And you know how to wash with clouds…”

“Pegasus,” Surprise repeated.

“Yeah, but what about–”

“Pinkie, I get the feeling your friends don’t like you for being just like them. I think it’s the opposite of that, actually. Nopony is quite like you! That’s what makes you so cool!” Surprise’s tone was brightening once more.

“Awww…” said Pinkie, flushing slightly. “You aren’t a friend-stealer at all, Surprise! You’re…you’re a ton of fun!”

Surprise perked up further. “I…I am…?”

“Totally! I might have Ponyville covered, but you would make a great party-Pony for Cloudsdale!”

“F-for the whole city?” a faint glimmer shone in Surprise’s eyes. “You really think I could?”

“I know you could!” Pinkie smiled a massive smile. “C’mon – up high!” She raised a front hoof.

A tiny little grin creased Surprise’s mouth. She slapped a hoof to Pinkie’s, and both Ponies shuddered in place as their joy buzzers went off. The shock made Surprise’s mane and tail burst back into clouds of frizz. Once they parted hooves, Surprise pulled Pinkie into a hug.

“Thanks, Pinkie,” she whispered. “I mean it!”

Pinkie Pie hugged back. “Anytime! I’m so happy things worked out!”

Both Ponies burst into joyful weeping, releasing twin fountains of tears.

“HEY!” Surprise recovered instantly.

Pinkie did likewise. “…You know what this calls for…?”

“A PARTY!” they said in unison, spreading their front hooves upwards and releasing clouds of confetti.

•••••••••••••••••••

A few hours and a great deal of aerial merrymaking later, Pinkie Pie stowed her cycle-copter-majig in the small shed she’d assembled not far from Rainbow Dash’s floating home. She nosed the door closed and turned to trot back into Ponyville.

Pleased with recent events as she was, Pinkie couldn’t help but happily hum as she bounded down the dirt road. She proceeded that way for a time, until she passed by a large pond.

A gentle wind stirred the reeds at the water’s edge, and carried a faint sing-song sound to Pinkie’s ears:

Shooo-bee-doooo…

Intrigued, Pinkie trotted over to the pond and stared down at the water. For a brief moment, it seemed like her reflection wore a slightly different smile than she did…and had fins.

“Nahhh,” said Pinkie, turning back to the road, “maybe next time.”

THE END

Comments ( 63 )

A wise choice. The world is not ready for Seapony Pinkie.

an earth and pegasus pinkie is probably all i can handle right now. like pinkie said, maybe another time.

And then Pinkie totally hung out with her almost-stalker.
I was wondering for a while if you'd be playing this straight episode style or if things were going to go off the wall insane.
Think the episode style worked out really nice (though you've given me a whole bunch of insane ideas now) and gave me cause to smile... but damn... sea pony Pinkie... or perhaps more than that, the unmentioned possibility of unicorn Pinkie.
You're getting way too easy to favorite.

Not to mention Alicorn Pinkie Pie:twilightoops:

I was hoping for something more along the lines of Pony Psychology, but this is great, too. ::pinkiehappy:

11755
Oh, don't worry. I have more like that on the boil. :pinkiecrazy:

I just want to wait to see more of Season Two before I get back
into darker, more complex stories.

So, I figured in the meantime I'd try my hoof at some lighter,
more foal-friendly fare. :scootangel:

Could be worse, Surprise's eyes could be blood red. :pinkiecrazy:

seen the first part on EqD and and decided to come here and see if you had put any other stories out. and then i noticed that you had added to this one ! cant wait for more stories. and keep up the good work!

Why is it that the first thing I thought was "something sinister is cloning the main cast in order to do its evil bidding". I *so* saw some epic twist arriving towards the end. An earth pony just like Twilight, a unicorn just like Applejack. More and more strange clones and then BAM! Epiphany! Everything turns upside-down, and Pinkie has to use her power of happiness to...I don't know...get all the clones to giggle in unison in order to destroy them all.

Oh, and Princess Luna is secretly the clone of Princess Celestia, and was tamed by her in the beginning of time. And Luna is the one who delivers the epiphany to the mane six.

Oh, tell me I'm close! Please please please tell me I'm close! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

12881

:coolphoto: "Vee heff no idea vat you ahh talkingk about. Pleez look into ze red light." *BRRZAP!*

*Ahem*. Glad you liked the story, and its simple, non-conspiracy-related plotline! :pinkiesmile:

I love these types of stories. Every time I read one, my mind always goes wild thinking about all the different ways I'd handle the situation myself. I just know I'm gonna be running through multiple different scenarios before the day's out. Riled up emotional stuff is just so much fun to play with! :pinkiehappy:

This played out a bit like a cross between Griffon the Brush Off, and Party of One. You must know, of course, that Pinkie Pie is my all-time favorite character, and that Party of One and Feeling Pinkie Keen are a couple of my favorite episodes. I absolutely LOVE writing her in my stories, and never get tired her bubbly run-everything-together-talk-until-there-are-no-words-left-in-the-english-language chatting sprees. I think I've had one in practically every story I've written so far. Personally, I always keep her as a secondary character, since I never know what to do with her...besides have her go off left field with crazy cartoon insanity, of course.

Again, your word-choices were, as always, lively and interesting (if not occasionally distracting). I particularly liked "cycle-copter-majig". Cute.

I can see what you were going for with the Cutie Mark thing. However, I think it was a little too..."closely tied". This was really the only thing that sounded a bit "unlikely" to me, and almost took me out of the story. Sure, go ahead and have her "inspired" by Pinkie Pie, and have her look up to her. But don't have her get her Cutie Mark *because* of it. Otherwise, it starts to sound a bit like...*ahem*...a "Stalker Cutie Mark". Well, you know. The whole "my entire life is devoted to being just like my idol!" mentality. It sounds too much like "I figured out who I was the moment I spied on you through your living room window." :pinkiecrazy: Maybe tone that down just a tad. Have her Cutie Mark scenario be somewhat similar, but still unique. It could be a talking point between the two.

Other than that, tough, I really liked it. Look forward to your next story! :pinkiehappy:

Oh wow! Dude! You have to write more lighthearted stories! But make them longer! And add sad scenes! And gummy! And post new stories already!! ....the pegases as a chicken.....DO IT!!!:pinkiehappy:

11952
HAH! I think I like this surprise better, much less scary and murdery!
That said, I'm still completely addicted to your stories wheller.

I can't stand this.... Pinkie's copter was dubbed the "Griffin Chaser MK-1" by at least 12 great fic writers. Kkat coined the "Griffin Chaser" with his/her* version of the contraption that could easily carry 6 while powered by only 2 or 3 ponies. I like that name, since she does chase after Gilda and Dashie with it.

Just a thought.


*20% chance of male, 80% chance of female

128689 And this was not obvious?

The fun! It has been doubled! Nopony can live up to the expectations of Pinkie though... NO PONY.:coolphoto:

Great story! Good job

OH BOY THIS IS GONNA BE A BITCH TO READ TODAY

Good thing I read this a while ago, great story too :rainbowkiss:

Such a cute story. Finally something with Surprise in it where she's more than a distant relative. I almost feel inspired to do something with Firefly and Rainbow dash. Just need to get some ideas.

Well, hopefully tehre is a next time, because seapony pinie sounds awesome :pinkiehappy:

Very nice- well crafted bit o' writing. :twilightsmile:

I have a story kind of like this but it's not overwhelmed in Pinkie Jelly-see.

:trollestia:

I loved this! So cute! :pinkiehappy:

You rock, Saddlesoap. :yay: woohoo

I love how you use the tiniest details from the show (the balloons escaping from the silo, for instance) and turn them into perfect catalysts for your stories, dark and lighthearted alike.

Devotedly,
Ponky

770830
Congrats! I believe you are the first to catch that (deliberate) shoutout! :pinkiesmile:

Aaaaand then Surprise tosses Pinkie into a grimdark alternate dimension WHICH WAS HER TRUE ORIGIN!!! And Pinkie must battle horrible monstrosities like Flutterponies and little hyooman girls to escape before the evil Surprise turns all of Equestria into nothing but tea parties and pastels! D:

Shooo-bee-doooo…

OH GOD.

Everything you write is pure amazing. Especially when you sneak in references like that.:rainbowkiss:

Oh my goodness. I remember reading this back on EqD. I didn't think to check if you were on FimF, but so you are! Uh. Um. Hi! You're amazing, and I love your stuff, and your stuff is good, and this fic makes me feel happy and and and-

I'mma go away now.

1030455
Wait! Don't go! There's cake! :pinkiegasp:

Glad to hear you enjoy my fiction! Thanks for commenting. :twilightsmile:

1030698 :pinkiegasp: There's cake
and a brill story, my lucky day :pinkiehappy::derpytongue2:

:pinkiehappy:This is awesome!!! Sequel with seapony Pinkie, please!

And then a pink Earth Pony piloting a hoof-cranked flying machine smashed through the wall.

:rainbowkiss: SO MUCH RANDOMNESS!

I just found this story for the first time today and I have to say, it filled me with unmitigated glee. Surprise is my favorite G1 pony and I absolutely loved finding something starring her!

I enjoyed the randomeness of the story and also liked the way you had Pinkie feeling so nervous and off-put by her presence, as well as both of their displays of vulnerability. And the nod to the seaponies was a good note to end on :yay:

Great story. It was interesting to see Pinkie watching the party from the edge, rather than being in the center of it. It's how I always feel at such occasions, mind you. :pinkiecrazy: But I don't give a buck about it and Pinkie felt sad and a little jealous. :pinkiesad2:

And this is certainly a unique take on Surprise. Though, in my twisted head-canon, I personally rather see her as Super Saiyan form of Pinkie Pie, I have nothing against her being Cloudsdale's counterpart of the pink pony. :pinkiehappy:

I know I'm showing up late to the party, but I gotta say I enjoyed it.

if there are other pinkie pie like ponies out there we need names for them
unicorn:Festival
seapony:Giggle
thats all i got right now
please continue with this stuff its so fun:pinkiehappy:

Wow, blast from the past! I remember this from EqD!
Great story, definitely episode material. :pinkiehappy:

Pinkie : "I may have ponyville covered, but you could totally be Cloudsdales resident party pony!
translation : diylol.com/meme-generator/walter-white--2/memes/stay-off-my-turf

2219905
Good ideas, but maybe have Festival as a stallion, like Berry Bubble! :pinkiehappy:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Wow, it's like... Bizarro-Griffon the Brush-Off and Party of One rolled into one. Really good stuff!

I love surprise now!! Good job

All Sea Ponies:
Shoop-bee-doo-shoop-shoop-bee-doo
Call upon the Sea Ponies when you're in distress
Helpful as can be ponies - simply signal SOS
If you find you're past the drift and haven't got an oar (oar)
Count upon the Sea Ponies - they'll see you to shore
Shoop-bee-doo-shoop-shoop-bee-doo
Seawinkle:
Are you sinking fast?
Wavedancer:
Had some nasty shocks?
Sealight:
Feeling like all hope is gone and washed up on the rocks?
All Sea Ponies:
Washed up on the rocks
Shoop-bee-doo-shoop-shoop-bee-doo
Call upon the Sea Ponies when you're in distress
Helpful as can be ponies - simply signal SOS
If your rudder runs aground or seeweed holds a grip (kelp)
Count upon the Sea Ponies - they'll see you get help
Sea Ponies, Sea Ponies
Simply signal SOS, simply signal SOS
Sea Ponies, Sea Ponies
Simply signal SOS, simply signal SOS
Oh, yes!
LOL
Finished it for you!
:ajbemused::ajsleepy::ajsmug::applecry::applejackconfused::applejackunsure::coolphoto::derpyderp1::derpyderp2::derpytongue2::fluttercry::flutterrage::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershysad::heart::pinkiecrazy::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::pinkiesad2::pinkiesick::pinkiesmile::rainbowderp::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowhuh::rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild::raritycry::raritydespair::raritystarry::raritywink::scootangel::trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::twilightangry2::twilightblush::twilightoops::twilightsheepish::twilightsmile::twistnerd::unsuresweetie::yay::trollestia::moustache::facehoof::eeyup::duck:
:3

As soon I as I read "What could possibly go wrong?" I decided, "Oh yeah. This is definitely going to be read by me." :pinkiecrazy:

THIS IS SO WEIRD :pinkiegasp:
I actually made a fanfic drawing od a pony just like this actually exactly the same but her name was feathergold XD crazy right

Ok... Surprise is me... I just realized it... she ships like me as well... :eeyup::heart::yay:

Aww, how sweet. Nice job. :heart:

Dan

Well what do you know.

Today's episode also involved Pinkie having a rivalry with another party pony AND Surprise was in the Goodnight Interview last night.

http://undead-niklos.deviantart.com/art/Pinkie-Says-Goodnight-Surprise-Guest-430903801

Serendipity.

“Nahhh,” said Pinkie, turning back to the road, “maybe next time.”

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