Spelling and grammar are bad in some places but I don't mind. Good story so far, but you are kinda neglecting the psychological side of things and just zapping them straight into cold hearted killers. It doesn't really bother me but you could have at least have had one of them break down. They also have yet to sustain much if any damage yet making them seem a little too invincible. You could have had one of them hurt badly, like a broken bone, and then introduced the health syringes. Otherwise, good job!
"I am a homo sapient or human for short. Humans happen to share a common ancestor closely with apes, not evolved from. People tend to get that wrong. And you...?"
Sapiens not sapient
There are several more that I can't recall right now.
I also have a problem with twilight going crazy, it scares me.
wooooooow, helluva first chapter/
just excellent buddy
I LIKE IT. Only read first chapter so far but so far it is bad ass, there are some small errors but you tell a story well.
It could use some clean up, but other than that I'm liking it so far.
Spelling and grammar are bad in some places but I don't mind. Good story so far, but you are kinda neglecting the psychological side of things and just zapping them straight into cold hearted killers. It doesn't really bother me but you could have at least have had one of them break down. They also have yet to sustain much if any damage yet making them seem a little too invincible. You could have had one of them hurt badly, like a broken bone, and then introduced the health syringes. Otherwise, good job!
"Set a place where you can Fuck each other, "
That line. Let me tell you how much I laughed.
fucking epic dude, best crossover story I ever read
"I am a homo sapient or human for short. Humans happen to share a common ancestor closely with apes, not evolved from. People tend to get that wrong. And you...?"
Sapiens not sapient
There are several more that I can't recall right now.
I also have a problem with twilight going crazy, it scares me.
to repetitive!
I feel ashamed that I only have just realized what OMC means...
Seriously...I feel soo ashamed!!
Had this in read later for a while, glad I decided to give it a read.
So, I saw this in the suggested story box next to my own, and I gotta ask. Is this a serious attempt at a fic, or what?
if twilight acts like that when she has been to pandora for a while then i hate to see what happens to fluttershy and pinkie
4287190
and that turns me on and raises my murder boner
thecrimsonfcker! would be proud of this and the amount of hard core killing twily is doing