• Member Since 23rd Jul, 2012
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And all your friends will be there with smiles on their faces.


Submitted for your approval, and lined up for your drinking pleasure, a series of tiny fictions, heretical vignettes, eyeball bucks, and random strangeness...

Readers of my FIM blog will have seen some of these before. I am adding new material as time goes on.

Chapters (17)
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Comments ( 93 )

Today was a buncha stoopid horse-asses day.

Dumb horses. :twilightangry2:

I don't know why these one shots are getting downvoted so much, I was deeply amused to see this one. You actually had me laughing out loud. I sang the lyrics to the proper tune.

Thank you very much, GGA. You made my day.

Perhaps some people have a low tolerance for alcohol...?
You're very welcome. I'm glad you liked it!

*reads ending*


Reminds me of the very end of 'Calvin & Hobbes'

You should stick this in 'Tiny Morsels of Satisfaction' too.


"It was a magical world, Celestia, old friend.

"Let's go explo

Classic Lyra always cloppin' to humans and hands:derpytongue2:

What did I just read?:twilightsheepish: Crossed between laughing and goin dafuq?:twilightoops:


When I promise random strangeness, I deliver golden conductor-mice statuettes embedded in kerosene-flavored aspic.



I'm glad that you approve!:pinkiehappy:

There is sometimes a method to my madness. For instance, the sun actually does make a figure 8 in the sky over time. It's called the solar analemma.

> a Worst Possible Moment incantation

If this spell ever comes within six leagues of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Equestria is doomed.

… of course, the spell's mere existence guarantees that it WILL be introduced to them, and at the titular time, too. It was nice knowing you, Equestria. GG. Let's try this universe thing again next week.

Whoops. Not quite quick enough!

Okay, that shard number is going to bug me now.

Quick google search for 14781498 turns up nothing. Cross-referencing the dates 1478 and 1498, I'm not finding anything significant which started/ended (born/died) in those years. 14781498 doesn't spell anything.

Fun fact: 14781498 is 6 times a prime number (2463583), but even though the prime is significant and the 6 has MLP significance, that's not enough to hang meaning on.


So now I'm distracting you from Hard Reset 2. By my own words am I undone...

The shard number is indeed based on something or related somethings, but I dashed off that author's note casually, never considering how much skull sweat it would take to figure out, or what exactly would be the prize. Also, now that I have double checked my research, I find that by a misapprehension on my part I have made the puzzle somewhat more challenging than I intended, though it is still solvable using commonly-available web resources.

So I can either give out some hints, or make the prize commensurate with the challenge. Which is better for your health/sanity?

Probably hints. Answer any or all of the following as the whim takes you, or whatever you feel like saying. Does divining the meaning require knowledge an average person would not be likely to have/deduce upon reading your question (i.e. is googling required)? The meaning of the number(s) aren't tied to something transient (e.g. the number of views on a FIMFic story), right? Are there clues within the chapter itself to the meaning of the number or is it an independent reference? Is any math required?


For most people, googling or similar research would be required.

The meaning is not transient.

There are no specific clues embedded in the chapter. That said, the chapter is related in a way.

No math is required.

The prize will be a sketch of a character of your choice. Sample artwork visible here. (Keep in mind that I can draw healthy-looking ponies; the one in the picture is Not Well.)

Here is an answer that is almost certainly not correct, but interesting nonetheless:

1478-1498 were the years of the reign of Majapahit's final king, Girindrawardhana. After his vice-regent Udara launched a coup in 1498, the state never recovered and dissolved into chaos before an external takeover.

The reason I'm confident this is wrong is that it's easy to google "14781498 chaos" and find page after page of results talking about it, but unless you're fond of severely obscure history, there would have been no particular mechanism for you to find and use those numbers in the first place. If you catch my meaning, it is reverse-googleable but not forward-googleable.

Another fun random non-answer:

Louisiana Revised Statute 14:78 deals with incest, and 14:98 deals with driving while intoxicated.

Put them together, and you get something greatly resembling the song "I Spent My Last $10 On Birth Control And Beer," by 2 Nice Girls.

CelestAI is, by definition of the FIO universe, a Nice Girl. Therefore, you are secretly implying that the other Nice AI — Discord — is female.


(Edited to add: Interestingly, Louisiana statute appears to criminalize relationships between uncle/niece and aunt/nephew, but not between uncle/nephew and aunt/niece. The moral of the story is, if you want to be incestuous in Lousiana, be gay.)


At least we're getting a diverse, if sparse, education out of this.


My take is that Discord is whatever gender Discord wants to be.

Eeyep, that sounds about right. :trollestia:

Dash's butt isn't actually italicizing her farts. She's just trying to be stealthy about passing gas, and farting obliquely.

True fact: Magical pony farts smell like rainbows. As Lero just found out, however, rainbows don't actually smell all that pleasant.


Rainbows are somewhat like sausages: If you knew how they were made, you wouldn't want to taste them.

If RD were to use the emphasis tag to stress her speech, would that make her an em-Dash?

Man, some drive-by downvoter must really hate puns.

I suspect Lero would much rather have an em-Dash, considering his issue with colons.


I submitted the chapter for crossposting over here. Some seem to have taken it as a personal affront. Apparently the fart jokes were a bit too much, and/or too many folks were feeling empathy for the fate of the main character.

On pleasanter topics, I'm getting the feeling that the shard number puzzle was in fact too recondite. Should I offer further hints? Perhaps I can give hints at the cost of weakening the prize slightly if the hint is used. For instance, in exchange for a significant hint, I get to draw a silly hat of my choice on the head of your character.

Perhaps something like the following could constitute the hint protocol. Hints get more descriptive the higher the number goes.

1: No penalty, just a perceptible loss of Strakh.
2: Plain line art. Your character will be unshaded.
3: Your character will wear a silly hat of my choice.
4: Your character will have a censored sign slapped over its cutie mark.
5: Your character will appear on a pedestal with a human war hero on its back. I pick the hero.
6: Your character will be traced from an image produced by the Pony Creator.


Sorry, I lost the weekend to health issues.

The hint system sounds fine to me, although the suggestion I'd have would be to make a blog post out of it and get your other followers in on the game; I don't want to feel like you're running this just for me. If you give me a little heads-up I can work a signal boost into a blog post of my own. :duck:


Thanks for the suggestion. Things are a bit busy for me right now but I plan to move on it soon.

You entertain me. Have a favorite and a watch. :twilightsmile:

Also, when Rainbow Dash races Tank, does she ever pass him?

Ok you get an upvote just for this one, I have read the story, and yes I sang along XD :rainbowlaugh::moustache::pinkiehappy:

XD A derpy pinkie troll = awesome!

yeah I'm old enough to have watched this as a kid :P
It's 2 am and I cannot guarantee the quality of this stuff.
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from a library
You'd better get a grip.

The Librarian was a studious book worm
The signs were clear and bright
Six friends went into the Everfree
To prevent eternal night, To prevent eternal night.

The travel started getting rough
The ground had cracked and tore
If not for the courage of the fearless friends
Darkness would reign forever more, Darkness would reign forever more

The group made it to the castle and faced down the nightmare
With Twilight
And Pinkie too,
The fashion mare, cut her tail,
The Daredevil,
Fluttershy and Applejack,
The Elements of Harmony

So this is the tale of the Mane 6
They'll be here for a long long time
They'll have to make the best of things
It can be an uphill climb

The Librarian and the Dragon too
Will do their very best
to keep the others organized
So they can pass the test

Nightmare, Dischord, Sombra
Chrysalis and Tirek
The girls are national heroes,
Defeating all the dreck.

So join them every week my friends
It's always fantastic
Right here in Equestria
Where Friendship is Magic!

yeah it kinda sucks :raritydespair:
'magic' dont rhyme with much :rainbowhuh:


The sweetest music a punster can hear.

You're right, I don't get it. :rainbowhuh:


A Nixie tube is a device, similar in appearance to a vacuum tube, which can be made to display letters and numerals, and which is occasionally found in old electronic equipment. They are sometimes built into modern devices, such as clocks, by those who appreciate their retro look.

I feel like "Infra Dig" should mean something to me, but I'm not getting it.

I spotted a possible double meaning for "beneath me". And it maybe it isnecessary to excavate the entire area, but I think not for the reason Twilight first though.

Not really fair to ask for a huge explanation of a such a small pun, though.

Well, you rhymed "sucks" with "much". So there's that.

For clarity, would googling be sufficient, or would some other flash of insight also be necessary?


I am always happy to explain. "Infra Dig" is slang, short for Latin infra dignitatem, and means "Beneath one's dignity." Spike is making a layered pun, in that the gem as well as the task are alike beneath him, and also to Twilight's suggestion that he use his infravision on an archaeological dig.


Googling was sufficient for me to create the number. The right search term would help, of course. As stated, the subject of the chapter is related in a way.

This has been sitting here for a while. I wonder why I didn't pick it up before.

So the true puzzle is to determine what search lead you to this number, with our only true clue being that the chapter is related but does not contain any direct clues itself.

Has horizon caved and now knows, or is it yet oblique?

Is it something to do with a pinball machine?


Sorry for the delay in response.

1) Correct.

2) Horizon has not solved it, so far as I know.

(that is to say, no.)

Writing that counts as your evil act for the day. Does enjoying it count as mine?


Of course. You have the heart of a wise and generous person, and as its original owner is not likely to need it any more, you may as well continue to hold on to it.

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