Friendship is Optimal: All the Myriad Worlds

by Eakin

Shard #138,952 (The Zombie Apocalypse)

SHARD #138,952

It was a perfect world.

Except for, y’know, the zombies.

Two stallions ate cold beans straight out of the can, neither one wanting to comment to the other about their dwindling stockpile of food. They both knew that without a supply run soon, their little makeshift gang thrown together by destiny would fall apart.

The younger stallion was lucky to be inside the little bunker in the older one’s backyard. He’d been out for a walk around the town when the first members of the shambling horde had arrived. Panic had spread quickly once a unicorn, skin peeling from its face, had stumbled over to a merchant who hadn’t realized the danger he was in until it was too late. As the monster’s teeth pierced his flesh, he’d gone almost immediately into convulsions as the ponies around them looked on in horror. Then he’d risen up and turned on the flower vendor next to him, and the screams began.

The older stallion might have been the next victim had the younger one not grabbed a street sign and clobbered the unicorn that had turned its attentions to him. Repayment of that debt was the only reason he’d found sanctuary in here while the rest of the town was left to their fate. It hadn’t been pleasant, hearing them crying at the metal doors in increasing panic to be let inside, but the four ponies knew they all had to be strong and count on one another or they would all be lost.

If they did start to run out of food, there was no question who would get the last of it and who would go hungry. The older stallion’s two beautiful daughters had to come first. It wouldn’t be easy for the stallion to selflessly endure the hunger, but somehow their boundless gratitude made it all worth it.

It had been a freak coincidence that the two mares had even been in town on the day the horde arrived. After all, the older sister was a world-weary, tough-as-nails film actress who, despite her sometimes strained relationship with her father over her career, never the less couldn’t quite hide the fact that she possessed a heart of gold underneath it all. The younger sister, in contrast, had found her doe-eyed innocence shattered by the zombies’ appearance. She was gradually discovering just what extremes she was willing to go to in order to survive.

Their father did his best to support his girls and keep their spirits up. After all, he’d pointed out, he was the one magical research professor who had seen this all coming. Though his colleagues had laughed at his warnings and called him mad, he’d toiled away for nearly a decade before the attack working out a counterspell that, when cast, would spontaneously revert all the zombies back into ponies and save Equestria. He was so close to finishing the spell that he could almost taste it.

It was all he was tasting, now that his fork had scraped the bottom of the can and found nothing left. How ironic it would be if the salvation of Equestria was lost forever because they ran out of food a week too soon. The four ponies looked at one another, and after a brief discussion it was decided that they would try the general store again. Last time they’d been out scavenging it still had some untouched supplies. Over both stallions’ objections, the mares insisted that the four draw straws to see which pair of ponies would undertake the perilous mission. In the end, the younger stallion and the researcher’s younger beautiful daughter found themselves selected, and they accepted the mission with grim resignation.

There was an hour to prepare, and to say what might be their last goodbyes. The mare hugged her sister and father tightly before turning her consideration to what she should wear to protect herself. The low-cut dress she’d been wearing when the initial attack arrived had been torn suggestively as a zombie pegasus tried to swoop down on her. Perhaps the low-cut, suggestively torn leather jacket was a wiser choice?

In the end, she went with the low-cut, suggestively torn chainmail.

The mare glanced over to the other side of the room where the stallion was loading a sawed-off shotgun full of shells. Back before all this had happened she never would have given a pony a second glance, but the more they’d come to rely on one another just to survive the more she began to appreciate his unfaltering strength and protection. She wondered if it was him who’d changed, or herself. Maybe both. She realized that he’d looked up and met her gaze a moment ago without her realizing, and they slowly nodded to one another. Words would only get in the way right now.

Mercifully, the bunker’s entrance was zombie-free when they opened it. With few potential victims left to hunt, the monsters contented themselves to lurch around the town in a sick parody of their old existence. The older stallion wished the two of them good luck and closed the door again with them on the outside, and they began to slowly and carefully make their way to the general store, sticking to the shadows and back alleys. Just when it came into sight, though, disaster struck.

The mare stumbled, and her hoof struck a tin can that was just laying in the least convenient possible place by sheer coincidence. The ponies watched in horror as it clattered against the cobblestones in the street, and the zombies turned their attention to the sound. A loud groan went up through the horde as they began to pull their broken, decaying bodies towards the living ponies.

The stallion screamed at her to make a dash for the relative safety of the store, and she didn’t need to be told twice. He was hot on her heels as they ran, and he paused only to turn back and level his sawed-off shotgun at the advancing monsters. A shot rang out over the creatures’ moans, and fifty yards away the heads of seventeen zombies in a 60-degree arc exploded at the same time. But there were still too many.

Retreat was the only hope. The mare reached the store’s front door and yanked it open, only to find a zombie waiting for her right on the other side. She only had time to scream before it lunged for her.

But the stallion was quicker. Not having enough time to raise his weapon, he fell back on instinct and instead threw a desperate punch. His hoof collided with the side of the zombie’s head at the last possible instant, causing it to promptly explode into a bloody mist. There was no time to lose with the others so close behind them. Their original mission was a loss now, the only thing they could do was survive until the horde lost interest. They raced through the aisles of rotting fruit and spoiled milk looking for somewhere defensible. Then they spotted it: the door to the back office. It was closed and unbroken. Without any other option, they threw the door open and after they confirmed the room was zombie-free rushed inside. There were no windows or other entrances, and it took just a second working together to shove the heavy wooden desk against the door. Not a moment too soon, as a second later they heard the beating of angry hooves against the other side trying to get in. But the door held.

Out of immediate danger, the stallion turned to the mare who was covered in blood. He quickly pulled her chainmail off and ran his hooves through her coat, looking for the source. He breathed a sigh of relief as he concluded that none of it was hers, and that she was unhurt.

Then he realized that he still had a hoof on her flank and just how closely he was holding her.

Neither of them pulled away, even as the surge of adrenaline from a moment ago began to taper away. Then the mare leaned up to his ear, and whispered to him in a husky, needing voice that if they never got out this office she damn well didn’t want to die a virgin.

He had no problem with helping her correct that.

The moans of the zombies outside faded into the background as other, louder moans overpowered them. The two ponies cleared a spot right there in the middle of the office floor and reaffirmed with their bodies that they were truly alive, if only for the moment.

It was a perfect world.

Comments

[Eakin]

Warning: Reading this immediately after the previous chapter may cause severe mood whiplash

[pjabrony]

3877412

Hmm...I found them similar in a way. Both ponies have crappy lives, but find their light of hope.

[Thorbinator]

3877412 oh you!

Love these stories, keep en coming.

[Hayquill]

Hilariously unsubtle.

[drone_r0m-3]

Tonight on AMC's The Trotting Dead, sex at inappropriate times! Later, Comic Book Stallions.

[Magical Trevor]

Clearly this was the younger stallion's perfect world, unless it was the mare who wanted... IDK. Yeah.

[blank check]

The one who has the power to change every zombie back into ponies is the one that needs to be put first, not his two daughters.

Except this is all overseen by NannylestAI. Though, they don't know that (it would be unsatisfying to have your suspension of disbelief broken), so they are incredibly stupid anyway. Genre savviness...

[CCC]

The low-cut dress she’d been wearing when the initial attack arrived had been torn suggestively as a zombie pegasus tried to swoop down on her. Perhaps the low-cut, suggestively torn leather jacket was a wiser choice?

In the end, she went with the low-cut, suggestively torn chainmail.

[FanOfMostEverything]

I can't help but wonder if the sapient minds of all of the zombies are watching this in another shard, possibly with popcorn in hoof.

"Ha! I told you you'd get shot first."
"Yeah, yeah, the hundred bits are in your account."

[Balthasar999]

These are great. The phrase "suggestively torn" is going right into my vocabulary.
I'm also reminded a bit of the most recent episode of Space Dandy, especially with the notion of the zombies enacting a parody of their old lives.

3878000
The genre savviness is excellent... Especially the ultra shotgun and head-exploding punch.

[TheAntiTed]

3878000
I wouldn't go so far as to call her nannylestia. The thing is, right now, those two value the thrill of surviving a zombie apocolypse and each other. But many people grow (we even see that happen in the original FiO) and so once he tires of being on the run from zombies, that's of course when the cure will be discovered and implemented. And then maybe then they'll take on the new, interesting task of trying to build a society from the ruins. Who knows? But for those two ponies, right now, that's the perfect world. Well done, Eakin.

[NachoTheBrony]

Oh yeah: I know people who would really dig a zombie apocalypse!

[Derpmind]

Why watch a cheesy movie when you can live one?

[arancaytar]

The low-cut dress she’d been wearing when the initial attack arrived had been torn suggestively as a zombie pegasus tried to swoop down on her. Perhaps the low-cut, suggestively torn leather jacket was a wiser choice?

In the end, she went with the low-cut, suggestively torn chainmail.

[roryokane]

Here, CelestAI is the Director.

[BlueNinja]

3877412 Truly, the best way to connect them would have been to put a colt zombie at the forefront of the mob, to then chase them since the shotgun blast would have gone over their head.

[djthomp]

Now that was hilarious.

[Lurks-no-More]

3877750
Perhaps its the perfect world for both of them.

[Imperator Knoedel]

3877412

Oh now you're telling me!

[Xarsor]

Wait WHAT

[Solitair]

3878115
If I was a part of the Optimalverse, I'd want to be able to watch the other shards for my entertainment.

[Smiling Armor]

3877412 A much more severe mood whiplash would've occured if this shard was a party-themed optimistical universe.
...Although it's a way too drastical mood change already. :/

[StarrySkies]

I really should reinstall Left 4 Dead.

[PresentPerfect]

oh god why XD

[Raine_Lionheart]

In the end, she went with the low-cut, suggestively torn chainmail.