Shard #329,814 (The Unusual Diet)
SHARD #329,814
It was a perfect world.
The mare’s stomach growled as she trotted through the forest back towards town, and more importantly towards food. What had begun as a simple walk in the woods however many days ago had taken an exciting turn when she’d stumbled, quite by accident, into a cave with some of the most beautiful crystal formations she’d ever seen. Caught up in the thrill of discovery, she’d completely lost track of time for what may well have been several days before she realized she needed to get home before somepony got worried and sent out a search party.
Not that they especially needed to. Celestia could easily have told them exactly where she was and probably exactly when she’d be getting back, plus it wasn’t like she was likely to starve to death or be crushed by a rockslide. Not in Equestria.
She wasn’t going to starve to death, but she sure felt like it right about now.
Telling herself that the hunger would just make her upcoming meal that much sweeter, the mare picked up her pace. As the forest began to thin out, the mare deviated from the beaten path to take a shortcut. She pushed her way through a bush of vibrant purple berries. Naturally flavored just like the licorice her grandmother used to leave under the tree on...
Huh. It was definitely a special morning. Humans gave one another gifts, probably? But it was so, so very long ago. Special memories drowned in a sea of other, far more recent and far more intense ones. There was only one food she remembered from Old Earth, and that wasn’t it. Ultimately it didn’t matter. The berries tasted like something good, but not good enough for her to stop to scoop a few of them up and sate the hunger that was building. Ever since she’d grown aware of it, the hunger had grown just a bit more infuriating with every step. It wasn’t just about the food. It was about... how did Celestia describe it? It was about the balance between frustration and satisfaction. Couldn’t have shadows without light, and all that. The berries fell further and further behind her, ignored until somepony else craving just that taste at just that moment came across them.
The edge of town grew closer, and the apple orchards surrounding it were the quickest path home. The mare could, of course, pull an apple down from any one of the trees if she felt so inclined. She knew the owner wouldn’t mind, and there were a few trees that she knew bore pork-flavored fruit. Even so, it just wasn’t the same. The taste and texture were there, but biting into an apple and tasting that just didn’t do it for her. Not that pork had been her favorite food anyway, or what she was craving right now. Her salivation only intensified. Only the real thing would do. And it was so close.
She entered her town. The town she’d come to love more than anything in the... centuries? Millenia? What came after millenia? The mare’s stomach rumbled and those concerns fell away, far from significant compared to the looming prospect of satisfying her more primal needs. She trotted along, perfunctory waves exchanged with acquaintances and neighbors and blah blah blah oh Celestia make the hunger stop. But when she turned the corner onto the street she lived on her senses sharpened. Soon. Just needed to hold out a bit longer, and she’d have what she wanted. What she needed.
The stallion appeared to be coming back from a normal grocery run. The frilled tops of the carrots sticking out from the paper bag he was carrying into his home suggested as much. They only made the prospect more enticing. She was close. So close.
She caught his eye, and barely managed not to collapse to her knees in the process Even looking at him made her salivate. Still, she remained resolute. She thought back, her eyelids drooping as she lost herself in the memories.
Christmas.
That was the holiday she’d forgotten earlier. It had been the highlight of her old life. A time to lose oneself in merriment. To feast. And the main dish was always...
She grinned, the stallion not paying her any mind at this distance. She remembered the meal she loved so much. The luxury that was denied to her except for the happiest of occasions. The ones that lit up her mind. She’d lived for those moments, and after she’d emigrated...
She closed the distance between them. Celestia had tried to placate her with a wide variety of dishes, and the tastes she’d experienced in the process... she shivered as the memories washed over her. But they never deposed her favorite food from her mind. The taste... the texture... there was nothing that could ever replace it.
The stallion noticed her. He smiled. So did she, at the prospect of what was to come.
She’d emigrated from the old country. Most of her relatives had forsaken their traditions within a year of two after they'd uploaded, but not this mare. She remembered the meal that had been served at the ceremony promoting her into adulthood. As well as the one at her wedding. Her grin revealed row upon row of sharp and serrated teeth.
There was nothing that could replace the taste and feel of horse meat.
She leapt, and bit down into the stallion's flank even as his groceries spilled across the yard. The taste was even better than she remembered, every time she indulged was a fresh revelation. She ripped the muscles from his bones, tearing through the organs as if they were mere tissue paper. A light brown film coated her muzzle, but hardly deterred her. Why would it? The blood soaking into her face had the taste and texture of the most delicious mushroom gravy she’d ever had the privilege to try.
When she came up for breath, all that was left of the stallion was a pile of entrails. The pleasure of filling herself bordered on the orgasmic, and she nearly toppled over and gave herself over to the pleasure and fullness.
While she did, the remainder of organs and flesh twitched and stirred. Intestines rewound themselves. Skin, bone and muscle knitted itself back into the proper shape. As the mare watched, the stallion’s form reconstructed itself. She blushed, and gathered up the carrots that had fallen all about the yard. She’d been incredibly rude, jumping him like that. After all, a good neighbor asked permission before they devoured their prey.
The stallion’s face reformed, smiling. She planned to apologize, but she knew that she was already forgiven. She leaned in and gave the stallion a peck on the cheek, her tongue lingering against his skin just a bit longer than was strictly necessary. It tasted far too sweet not to.
Once he was as whole as ever, he kissed her back a good deal harder. The mare sorted her thoughts as she helped him carry his groceries into his home. She had so much to tell him about the caves she’d had the privilege of exploring over the last few... huh. It was getting awfully hard to remember units of time these days. He whispered something just for them into her ear, and she blushed that much harder. Later that evening, they trotted off together towards the local tavern. She had so much to tell him, and per their usual arrangement drinks were on her tonight. Hopefully in every conceivable sense. After all, how many times had he tasted her and found that she was absolutely delicious?
It was a perfect world.
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Insert your own Restaurant At The End Of The Universe reference here.
A perfect world indeed...
Kinky.
Geez, what's eating her?
I hope this wasn't my fault.
Still amazing. Still disturbing. Yay?
Given some of the genres, I'm fulling expecting a high school anime harem world.
5034128
Well... Now that you've suggested it....
The no-names no-dialogue rules might make that tricky. Not impossible, but... hmm....
Well... if it isn't painful I wouldn't mind. There are very much worse things. And they seemed amicable enough at the end.
Amazingly, the plot twist for me was him coming back to life. I knew what her thingy was from the title. XD
Holy crap, that turned dark quick!
So, a town populated by horse meat lovers? Kinky doesn't even begin to describe it!
Well: some of the residents could be simply cannibals, some lovers of horse meat, and some have the vore fetish.
5034137
I second High School anime harem land!
Mushroom gravy blood. Wow. I figured what would happen would happen, thought you might be faking us out at the end with the carrots, but I was not anticipating the gravy blood.
In any case, looking forward to more.
5033711
Given what they're likely to get up to, the Big Bang Burger Bar seems more appropriate.
Well... that's different.
That was unexpected.
Where is she supposed to be originally from, though? I mean, while eating horse meat is not as uncommon as you'd think, I am yet to hear of people eating it raw - especially, that raw.
5035498
Probably eastern Europe, but that's just the association I personally make when I hear about horse meat as part of a diet. I suspect the 'raw' part wasn't indigenous, but more of a post-upload adaptation.
I thought she was gonna eat random sh*t (buildings, trees, crystals etc, etc) up until she started staring at the stallion.
5035802
I'm sure there are shards where those things are absolutely delicious. I thought the cannibalism angle had a bit more 'oomph,' though.
5033711 Can't think of anything. Oh well, remember your towel if you're gonna go hitch-hiking
5035792
Fair enough.
You could say I am originally from Eastern Europe, I guess. The first time I actually tried it was when my friend brought some from Italy.
I looked it up a little, and, apparently, it's part of the diet in Kazakhstan and Mongolia - and there are some good historical reasons for that. Also, in Japan it can be consumed raw.
Truly the best of all possible worlds.
That's a reference.
Candide and the humane cutting off and eating of prisoners' buttocks during a siege.
That was wonderful. Never change.
5039069
Oh dear. 'Never change?' It's gonna be awkward when I get even better. Hope you'll forgive me.
But then, I suspect you're pretty okay with us self-improving our wetware. Just a crazy hunch.
This story took the best turn of events after chapter 5.
5034137 Come on. It's as completely trope-overdosed as anything you'll ever write.
Also, yeah, by the time you mentioned pork meat I knew we were in the cannibal shard.
Nom nom, you make death so tasty.
5034137
Who set these rules? Did you force them on yourself from the start of this series?
5083890
Yes, they're self-imposed. No names, no dialogue, short and to the point, and of course opening and closing with 'it was a perfect world.'
5035498
I tried it in Japan. Thing is though, it's terribly bland. I have a difficult time imagining anyone thinking of it as delicious.
Oh my. Um, I'll be right back. I have to... thing.
I need to link this to a friend.
Not to my taste (sorry), but hey, as long as he doesn't mind being eaten? I can't even see abutting particularly morally objectionable about this shard.
I'm sure there's a Diomedes joke to be made here, but I just can't put my hoof on it.
¡42!
keeps getting better and better
5117146 I think Celestia made the raw meat taste like it was cooked. after all, I'm sure blood doesn't taste this way
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5034831
6996237
I'm imagining Pinkie pAI saying like, “What's wrong with eating horse meat? Lots of mares are selling their milk for culinary use, so letting your whole body be a food source is natural, too!”
[In my headcanon, she likes to feign “innocence” and lack of understanding of Earth horrors precisely to direct human attention to them]
I think this shard made me realize that there could not be any predation in any kind of transhumanist future I could endorse. (This is one of my problems with authors like Asimov, it's not that he included meat in sis future, it's that it was so… casual… that he seemed to be unable to grok the sort of person who would invent vegetarianism)
Looking at the furry fandom, one might wonder how many of the “fetishes” are just attempts to cope with horrors of the universe when they can no longer be ignored by pretending to oneself that they are not horrifying at all.
Incidentally, I myself also have some issues with the mere existence of “dumb” non-sapient animals that do not understand what we do to them, but that's a topic for another whole rant.