Midnight Plotting
The chime of the clock echoed throughout Lady Rarity's mansion as it struck twelve. Rainbow Dash peered through the window and glanced about the empty kitchen. Then flew through and motioned for Soarin to follow. The light blue pegasus got stuck midway.
"Rainbow!" he whispered, trying to tug himself free. "A little help?"
Rainbow rolled his eyes and turned to help his friend. "This is what you get for eating all those apple pies!"
"I'm not fat! This window's just so tiny!"
"Yeah, whatever."
Rainbow grabbed Soarin's hooves and pulled with all his might. Soarin cried out in pain.
"Not so hard!"
"Do you wanna get out or not?"
He kept pulling until Soarin popped out of the window. They both cried out as they fell to the floor.
"Hi!"
They screeched again and looked up to see Pinkie Pie standing over them.
"You do know the front door's unlocked, right?"
Rainbow glared at Soarin.
"What?" the light blue pegasus said. "The window was your idea."
Discord materialized in front of them. "Oh! I see you all got my note! Wonderful!"
"What's this all about?" Rainbow asked as he and Soarin rose to their hooves.
"It's late at night, my nieces and that Cranky Doodle Donkey are asleep, and you know what that means!"
He snapped his fingers and confetti burst from nowhere, accompanied by the sound of a horn. Pinkie Pie squealed in excitement.
"PARTY!"
"Awesome!" Soarin cried.
"Wait," Rainbow said. "What if some pony hears us?"
"They can join in the party!" Discord exclaimed, making a milk carton appear in his claw. "Who wants chocolate milk?"
"Ooh!" Pinkie chimed, raising her hoof. "Me, me, me!"
"What are we even celebrating?" Rainbow inquired.
"Why," Discord chuckled, "Sir Soarin, for winning his first tournament!"
"Woo hoo!" Soarin cheered.
"I don't know," Rainbow said skeptically. "What if Lady Rarity catches us, or Fluttershy, or even worse, Cranky?"
"Oh, they can go shake their ears!" Discord huffed, taking a sip of his chocolate milk. "Pinkie Pie, why don't you sing us a song?"
"Gladly!" Pinkie exclaimed, hopping onto the wooden table. "What will it be? A love song? A sad song? A cheerful song?"
"We're all in merry spirits tonight, so sing something cheerful!"
"I know just the one!"
She cleared her throat and began to sing:
"'Cuz I love to make you smile, smile, smile!
Yes, I do!
It fills my heart with sunshine all the while!
Yes, it does!
'Cuz all I really need's a smile, smile, smile!
From these happy friends of mine!"
"Pick up the tempo!" Discord insisted. "You're putting me to sleep here!"
Pinkie Pie sang the verse again, only faster. Soarin accompanied her by tapping a wooden spoon on a pot. Rainbow joined in by banging two frying pans together. Discord put his lion arm around the pink pony and sang along with her:
"'Cuz all I really need's a smile, smile, smile!
From these happy friends of..."
"What is going on in here?!"
Pinkie, Soarin and Rainbow Dash froze at the sight of Fluttershy in the doorway. Discord, however, smiled brightly and opened his arms.
"Fluttershy, dear! Come on in! Join the party!"
Fluttershy glanced at the glass in his claw. "Have you been drinking chocolate milk again? Discord, you know that stuff makes you eccentric!"
"As if he wasn't eccentric already," Rainbow Dash mumbled.
"Oh, don't be such a drag, my dear!" Discord exclaimed. "Have some fun!"
She squealed as the draconequus suddenly grabbed her hoof, pulled her in, set his paw on her waist and spun her around as he sang:
"Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Fluttershy! Come and join us in our party! Don't be boring, Fluttershy!"
Fluttershy narrowed her eyes at him as she pried herself from his arms.
"If my lady hears you, she'll have you kicked out for sure!"
"She'll have to kick me hard then!" Discord laughed. "I have a big bottom!"
"Discord, please! I could hear you all the way from upstairs! And Cranky sleeps on this floor..."
"Why? Doesn't he have a bed?"
He clutched his stomach as he fell on the floor laughing. Pinkie shortly joined him.
"Shush!" Fluttershy demanded. "You mustn't wake..."
"Wake up! Wake up!" Pinkie sang.
"Every pony everywhere!" Discord sang with her.
"Oh, for the love of...!" Fluttershy cried.
"Love!" Discord sang, pulling the yellow pegasus in for another dance. "Was made for me and you!"
"Discord, stop!"
"Stop! In the name of love!"
"You're going to get us all in trouble!"
"I knew you were trouble when you walked in!" Pinkie sang.
"You're not helping, Pinkie!"
"You're not helping, Pinkie!"
"Is that even a song?" Rainbow asked.
"It could be!"
Fluttershy let out a growl as she wrenched herself out of Discord's hold. "That does it! Go to your room, Discord! Now!"
He chuckled and grabbed her once again. "I do love it when you're hostile!"
"Discord!" Fluttershy screamed.
"I'm howlin' at the moon!" Pinkie sang. "And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon!"
"Pinkie!"
"And the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain! Narf!"
"Soarin, Rainbow, stop them!"
The two knights were rolling on the floor in laughter.
"Sorry, Fluttershy!" Rainbow wheezed. "But this is too entertaining!"
Pinkie stood on her hind legs and tapped her hooves on the table.
"Something familiar,
Something peculiar,
Something for every pony
A comedy toni-"
"What's all this racket?!"
Every pony went silent at the sound of Cranky's voice. They turned to see the donkey in his nightgown and cap. His head was covered in whipped cream!
"And who is responsible for this?!" he demanded, pointing to his head.
Pinkie Pie snorted and Discord laughed as he bumped his fist with her hoof. Rainbow and Soarin broke into tears at the hilarious sight. Even Fluttershy found it amusing and failed to suppress her giggle.
"For goodness sake!" Cranky exclaimed. "It's the middle of the night and you're making enough noise to wake up all of Illyrimane!"
"Oh," Discord huffed. "Don't be so cranky, Doodle!"
He snickered and Pinkie hopped in front of the donkey.
"You're a Cranky Doodle Donkey guy!" she sang, dancing around him.
"Pinkie, please!" Fluttershy begged.
"A Cranky Doodle Donkey! Your ears are so big, so you could hear us! Now come and join the party!"
Cranky growled. "Idiots!"
"I know you are, but what am I?" Discord taunted.
"When my lady hears about this, she won't hesitate to throw you out!"
"Tattletale!" Soarin shouted.
"You may be her relative, Discord, but she won't approve of this behavior!"
"Won't approve of my behavior?" Discord said, putting his paw to his chest. "You're the one who's acting like a goody-four-shoes!"
"At least I don't go about causing chaos and pulling childish pranks!" Cranky turned to Fluttershy. "And you! I would've never expected you to stoop to their level! I assure you, Lady Rarity will hear about this! If you continue to be a part of this foolishness, you'll be thrown out along with them!"
Discord's smile faded as Cranky raised his voice at Fluttershy. He could see the tears forming in her eyes. The draconequus gripped his paw in fury. He could take Cranky's criticisms, but how dare he threaten dear, sweet Fluttershy like that?!
He raised his fist, only for Rainbow Dash to quickly grab it.
"If this happens again," Cranky said, addressing all of them now, "it will be your last night in this house!"
The donkey left in a huff and for a long while, the five of them just stood there in silence.
"Ooh!" Discord grunted. "That's the last straw! I'm turning that jerk into an orange! No! An acorn! And I'll feed him to the squirrels!"
"No!" Rainbow Dash said, hastily stopping his talons from snapping. "If you get rid of Cranky like that, Lady Rarity will definitely kick you out!"
"Yeah!" Pinkie agreed. "Mean-meanie-pants as he is, he's Rarity's chief advisor!"
"I'll challenge him to a duel!" Soarin proclaimed. "And cut him to pieces!"
"Better idea," said Rainbow. "Challenge him to a duel, and then not show up! That'll make him look like an idiot!"
"You're right," Discord said, stroking his beard in thought. "Destroying him would be too merciful. We have to humiliate him in a way that even Rarity will think he's an idiot! But how?"
"You could turn his head into a chicken's!" Pinkie suggested.
"No! She'll know I did it! We have to come up with something sneaky."
Even Fluttershy had the desire to see Cranky humiliated. She did not like the way he treated Discord, and she certainly had not liked the way he had yelled at her. She could not resist hatching a plan of her own to get revenge at the donkey. Then she remembered catching a glimpse of his bright lime green stockings as he had left the kitchen.
"Let's dump a bucket of oil on him!" Rainbow exclaimed.
"Too amateur," Discord said.
"Um..." Fluttershy stammered. "I...I have an idea."
"Let's put a whoopee cushion in his chair!" Pinkie cried, giving one of her whoopee cushions a squeeze.
"I have an idea."
"Too childish," said Discord.
"How about we put a banana in his ear?"
Every pony, even Pinkie Pie, sent Soarin a funny look.
"What?" the light blue pegasus shrugged. "He'd look stupid."
Fluttershy lost her patience and shouted. "I said I have an idea!"
They all stared at her for a moment, until Discord broke into laughter.
"Oh, Fluttershy, you're so cute!" he teased, patting her on the head. "But leave this to the professionals."
"I do!" Fluttershy insisted. "I have an idea to get back at Cranky!"
"Well, then by all means, let's hear it!"
She did not like his mocking tone, but at least he was listening. Fluttershy seated herself at the table and motioned for everyone to join her.
"There are things you don't know about Cranky," she said in a low voice. "Sometimes, when he thinks he's alone, he fantasizes being married to Lady Rarity and becoming master of the house."
"What?!" Discord growled, slamming his fist on the table. "Married to my niece?! Not if I can help it!"
"I'm afraid it's true. He thinks my lady will grow so fond of him that she'll make him her husband."
"Blech!" Pinkie said, sticking out her tongue. "But he's so old!"
"And so bossy!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
"And so donkey!" Soarin shouted.
"I think it would be a terrible match too," Fluttershy said with a nod. "But we'll use this against him." She gestured for them to lean in closer. "Suppose he were to find a letter from Lady Rarity? And suppose it said a few...flattering things about him?"
"You mean like a love letter?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Yuck!" Pinkie gagged. "Why would Rarity write a love letter to Cranky?"
"It won't really be from my lady," Fluttershy explained. "It will be from me."
Soarin gasped. "You're in love with Cranky?!"
He cried out as Rainbow knocked him upside the head.
"No," Fluttershy replied. "You see, I can write a lot like my lady. We can't tell the difference between each other's hoofwriting."
Discord's eyes widened. "You mean...?"
Fluttershy nodded, which made Discord smile in delight.
"Cranky will find this letter, think it's from my niece and that she's hopelessly in love with him!"
"That's the idea!" Fluttershy exclaimed.
Discord let out a cry of excitement as he grabbed Fluttershy by the waist and spun her around.
"Oh, ho, ho! You little vixen, you! It's brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!"
He paused as his red and yellow eyes locked with her teal ones. He found himself gazing into them. Had they always sparkled like that?
Fluttershy's heart beat wildly as Discord stared into her soul. Was this how others felt when she used her Stare on them? She could feel his strong, yet tender hold on her and had never realized how right she felt in his arms, until now.
The others watched the two in confusion.
"Uh..." Rainbow Dash uttered. "So are we going with this plan or not?"
"Huh?" Discord said. "Oh! Yes, of course! Fluttershy, you'll write this letter, and tomorrow, we'll get a laugh!"
Fluttershy giggled as she gently lifted his paw and claw away from her. "Yes, tomorrow. But for now, goodnight."
She flashed him a smile as she exited the kitchen.
"Goodnight, you amazing mare, you," Discord whispered.
"Gee," Rainbow Dash marveled. "Who knew Fluttershy had it in her?"
"I know! I never thought she could be so...devious! She's...she's intoxicating!"
"Ooh!" Pinkie Pie squealed. "Some pony's in love with Fluttershy!"
"What?" Discord said, snapping out of his trance. "I am not!"
"You so are!" Rainbow Dash chuckled.
"Fluttershy and Discord, sitting in a tree!" Soarin chanted.
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" the three of them said together.
"Oh, grow up!" Discord snapped. "And go home, you rascals!" He smiled mischievously. "We have a big day tomorrow."
There she was, the pony of his dreams. She stood in front of him, yet she seemed so far away. Her white coat glistened in the sunlight, her purple mane shimmered as she tossed her head to one side, and her sapphire blue eyes sparkled as her long lashes fell gently over them.
She beckoned him closer. He could not resist. He raced to his lady and flung his arms around her. She returned his embrace, her soft hooves stroking the top of his head and along the spines of his back.
Suddenly, he felt a drop of water on his neck. Then another, then another. Rain was pouring down on them. He shivered in the cold and his lady pulled him closer. He felt warm. He felt safe.
"Don't worry, Spike," she whispered. "I'll never leave you."
Spike opened his eyes in confusion. That was not the Lady Rarity's voice. It had a different accent. This voice was shrill, with a tint of masculinity. Its tone was gentle and affectionate.
He looked up at the mare that held him. Instead of white, he saw orange with specks of yellow. Surrounding that orange were not waves of silk, but strands of straw. The eyes he met were not sapphires, but emeralds.
The new face smiled down at him, promising him protection and love. Its features were rough, yet there was a certain rustic charm about it. Even in the rain, the face radiated with beauty. Everything about this mare felt natural: the simple way she looked, the tender way she held him, the doting way she smiled at him.
He found he could not take his eyes off this beautiful face.
Then he felt the wet clothes that clung to the pony's body and he looked down to see they were that of a stallion's.
Spike let out a gasp as he sat up in bed. He glanced around, seeing he was alone. His body was sweating and his heart was racing inside his chest.
It only been a dream, but it still worried him, for he did a double-take on that face he had seen. It had not been a mare's face, but Applejack's.
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Snow days for you, blazing heat down here. And yet, I don't envy you. Anyways, I was struggling to hold my laughter at the song
Pinkie, you're so funny.
3943420 Which song? lol
2 snow days?!!
Lucky Bastard
3943436 Huh, forgot the s at the end of song. Guess me holding in laughter affects my english
That was a FAST(
) update, man!
"Help! I need somepony! Help! Not just anypony!"
"Master of the house, keeper of the zoo, ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two," sang Soarin.
"Quiet, you. The singing part ended ten minutes ago."
3943684 Two snow days is nothing compared to the winter I had we had like a 4 day snow day during the New Year
3943436 Oh man your getting to my favorite part of the play lol I just love that part
3944094 Don't know that first one there. Hehe, "Master of the House" didn't occur to me!
*rubs hands together* Let's see the cranky Cranky walk away from this one unscathed. (And if I remember the play correctly...
)
3944498
You don't know the Beatles?
[youtube=ZNahS3OHPwA]
This chapter...
I loved this chapter. It was perfect
3944644 Oh, I know them, I just hadn't heard this song.
This is so much fun! Can't wait to see Fluttershy and the gang mess with Cranky. Also curious as to how many gender bent reveals that there will be.
Another chapter! Yeses!
I would have never expected Fluttershy to do that, this will be interesting.
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! It is going!
Oh snap!
This getting awesome keep it up,cant wait for the next chapter
Omg,:pinkie
Discord by the living tombstone!
HYSTERICAL!!!!! JUST HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5520841
DISCORD, I'm howling at the moon an sleeping' in the middle of a summer afternoon, Discord, whatever did we do. to make you take our world awwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay~!
5278679 OMC! Yes I play this song on repeat for hours!
You are SO awesome Pinkie!!
Pinkie broke the fourth wall
5635253
I sang it at my talent show
The singing montage was mostly amusing but not hilarious to me and then you had
and the Brain, Brain, NARF! And I lol'ed!
5635253
BEST SONG EVER MADE!