• Published 10th Oct 2013
  • 7,158 Views, 291 Comments

Shakespony: Twelfth Night - DisneyFanatic23



Applejack disguises herself as a stallion to serve the Duke Spike, who sends her to woo the Lady Rarity who ends up falling for Applejack, who is really a mare in love with the Duke.

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Longing

"And then Sweetie Belle showed me this tree, and we climbed it!" Applebloom glanced at her sister. "Don't worry! I promise we didn't go too high!"

The filly was recounting her playtime with the young lady. Applejack tried to listen, but her mind was otherwise occupied. She wondered what she was going to tell the Duke. It had to be the truth, for she could not let Spike believe Rarity was in love with him when she had flat-out rejected him.

She was also thinking about her emotional outburst earlier. She had realized that this imaginary soul mate she had spoken of was not so imaginary and that she had unknowingly confessed her feelings for the Duke.

Was that what she had done? Did she love Spike?

It seemed rather silly, though interspecies romance was nothing illegal. After all, Spike was courting the unicorn lady. That was the other thing. He was in love with a rich, beautiful mare. She herself was rich and of noble birth, but not as fair and proper. There was also the fact that she was supposed to be a stallion. That sort of romance was definitely looked down upon, but she could not reveal herself. That would not only endanger her, but her sister as well.

She told herself that what she felt towards the Duke was just a fleeting affection. Indeed, she had never spent so much time with a male close to her age other than her brother, so it was natural for her to feel a sort of intimacy. No, this was not love, just affection.

"Did you see her?"

Applejack had been so lost in thought that she had not realized they had entered the throne room. The short dragon leapt off his seat and hurried toward her.

"Well, did you?"

She felt a lump in her throat as she gazed into those shining, hopeful eyes.

"I..." she choked. "I did see her, my lord."

His eyes widened. "You did?! Excellent! I knew you were the stallion for the job! What did she say?"

The lump in her throat was joined by an ache in her stomach.

"She, uh...she..." She sighed in defeat. "Her answer is the same, my lord."

His hopeful expression disappeared. This did not make Applejack feel any better. He stared at her for a long time and then turned around with an angry groan.

"Give her time, my lord!" Applejack insisted. "She did just lose her brother, after all!"

He still said nothing, though she could have sworn she heard a sniff. She had to comfort him somehow, give him back his hope.

"She, uh...she said your letter was...pretty."

His head shot up, but he did not turn around.

"And..." she stuttered, "she said...she thought you were...noble and...virtuous and...and just!" She drew a circle in the floor with her hoof. "There's...there's still a chance. She...she said I could come again to, uh...tell her how you take the news."

His silence was killing her. There was another long pause before he turned his head to lock eyes with her and his lips curled into a small smile.

"You really think so?"

She returned his smile, even though inside she was dying. "Eeyup."

He giggled. "Well, she at least let you see her, and you did tell her good things about me, right?"

Applejack nodded, trying not to show her guilt.

"That's good. You're right. Maybe I should give her time."

She was about to speak when he suddenly flung his tiny arms around her. She stared down at him, shocked, but relished in the warmth of his touch. Before she had the chance to return his embrace, he pulled away and awkwardly glanced at the other servants. Applejack had completely forgotten they were even watching.

"Well, uh..." Spike cleared his throat. "Good job."

She forced smile and nodded dumbly. Inside, her heart was racing and her blood was boiling with desire as she looked at him.

Sweet Celestia, she was doomed.


Discord cackled as he hid himself within the tree. In his claw he held a string that stretched to another tree and hanging in the center was a pail of water. He looked at the two pegasi in the tree across from him. One was a pale blue stallion with a black mane and green eyes. The other was a slightly darker blue and had a mane with all the colors of the rainbow and red-violet eyes. His face was feminine, but he possessed the attitude of a stallion.

"You know what to do?" Discord whispered.

They both nodded their heads and snickered.

"This is gonna be great!" the multi-colored pegasus exclaimed.

"Hush!" Discord hissed. "Some pony's coming!"

The three pranksters ducked for cover as a set of delicate hoofsteps approached them. When Discord was sure the victim was right beneath the bucket, he signaled to his cohorts. They released both sides of the string and Discord snapped his fingers, turning the bucket upside-down. He heard a loud splash and an ear-piercing scream.

He laughed in delight. While he could have done this alone with his magic, it was always fun to have help from the outside. It also meant he could put the blame on some pony else if he got caught.

The two pegasi laughed so hard, they fell out of the tree. They stopped when they heard a familiar groan of annoyance and looked up at their wet victim.

"He put you up to this, didn't he?"

As soon as Discord heard Fluttershy's voice, he literally shrunk himself. The mare darted her eyes at the tree he was hiding in.

"DISCORD!"

Her voice was like a banshee. Discord did not know whether to run or take her in his arms. She was so delightfully terrifying!

"I know you're in there!" she shouted. "Come out, you coward!"

His admiration was quickly replaced with resent.

"Coward?!"

He teleported in front of her, causing the mare to gasp in surprise.

"No pony calls me a coward!" he snapped.

Fluttershy growled in anger. "This has gone far enough!" She spun towards the two stallions. "And you! What do you have to say for yourselves?!"

The lighter blue pegasus pointed at his partner in crime. "It was Rainbow Dash's idea!"

"Thanks a lot, Soarin," the multi-colored pony grumbled before looking up at Fluttershy. "It wasn't meant for you specifically. You just happened to be the first pony who came along. Would it help if we said we were sorry?"

Fluttershy scrutinized the colt carefully to see if his apology was genuine.

"Well...okay. Just don't do it again."

"Hey!" Discord protested. "How come whenever I do something bad, you put me in a time-out, but when Dashie does something bad, you forgive him immediately?!"

"Maybe it's because he actually apologizes."

"Hey! I apologize!" He crossed his arms. "Eventually!"

"I hate to interrupt," Soarin said, "but is Lady Rarity here?"

Rainbow Dash rolled his eyes, knowing his friend was going to try courting the lady again when it was clear he did not have a chance.

"She's over by the flowerbed," Fluttershy replied, "but I warn you, she hasn't been in her wits lately."

"Well, we know that," Rainbow Dash said. "Her brother died, she wears black, she hides her face and yada, yada..."

"No, it's different this time! She's stopped wearing her veil and is wearing colors again!"

"What happened?" Soarin asked. "Is she sick?"

"She's gone cuckoo, that's what!" Discord declared, his finger moving in a circular motion near his head.

"She's been daydreaming," said Fluttershy.

"Singing to herself!"

"Twirling around like a princess!"

"Picking petals off poor, innocent flowers! She's crazier than me!"

"Weird," Rainbow uttered.

"She's been this way for days," Fluttershy explained, "ever since she received her last message from the Duke Spike."

"Ooh!" Discord exclaimed, his lips curling into a smile. "Looks like you've got some competition, Soarin!"

"You think she's finally given in to the Duke?" Rainbow Dash inquired, his face gleaming with hope. "Well, too bad, Soarin! Guess she's taken! You should move on!"

"But you said she liked me!" Soarin said, pointing accusingly at Discord.

"You said what?" Fluttershy asked, looking at the draconequus curiously.

"Of course, she likes you!" Discord insisted, though his voice was dripping with sarcasm. "She just hasn't gotten to know you well enough to love you!"

"But the Duke..." Soarin started to say.

"Oh, she doesn't care for the Duke! She told me so herself she won't marry anyone above her station! And you, my friend, are as low as any pony can get."

The knight blinked. "You're right. I am!"

"So what are you waiting for? Go accost her!"

"I will!" He flapped his wings but stopped in mid-air. "What does 'accost' mean?"

Discord slapped his face with his paw. "Charm her! Woo her! Dazzle her! Sweep her off her hooves!"

"Oh! Right."

Once the knight was out of sight, Fluttershy punched Discord in the shoulder.

"Ow!" he cried out.

"Why did you tell him that?" she demanded. "Rarity thinks nothing of him!"

"I know," Discord said with a smirk, "but it's so amusing to watch him try! Speaking of which, let's watch the show, shall we?"

He snapped his fingers and teleported the three of them behind a bush. Before them was the Lady Rarity, dressed in a bright yellow gown, sitting on a marble bench. Her eyelids fluttered and she smiled softly as she plucked petals off a daisy.

"He loves me," she sighed dreamily. "He loves me not."

"See?" Discord whispered to the others. "It is a colt! Or dragon. Well, a boy of some sort."

"But it can't be the Duke," Fluttershy said. "I asked her about him the other day and all she said was: 'Who?'"

"Ooh! Here comes Soarin!" The draconequus chuckled. "Now the fun really begins!"

The trio ducked as the stallion came into view. Soarin grinned goofily at the sight of Rarity. He spat on his hoof and slicked back his mane. He then breathed on his hoof and sniffed, cringing at the smell. He shrugged and approached the lady.

"Look at him," Rainbow Dash sighed. "He's so pathetic!" She turned accusingly toward the draconequus. "Why did you have to make the poor boy believe he has a chance with the Lady Rarity? He's just going to embarrass himself!"

"Exactly!" Discord exclaimed. "Watch!"

Soarin cleared his throat. "Good morrow, my lady! You are looking very..."

"Yes!" Rarity suddenly cried out, clutching the last petal to her chest. "I knew it! I knew it!"

She jumped up and twirled around, her dress flying with her body. Soarin stared at her in confusion, not knowing what to do.

"Uh...I was wondering if you were attending the jousting tournament tomorrow afternoon. You know," he ran his hoof through his mane, "I will be competing..."

He trailed off as the unicorn started humming a merry tune, which stunned him even more. He had never seen the lady this cheerful, not even before her brother died.

"I hope you will give me support..."

"I love thee!" Rarity exclaimed.

Soarin blinked, but then smiled. "Really?"

"Oh, yes, simple colt!" She picked a rose from a bush and gave it a long sniff. "Though I do not know your name, your name should not matter! That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet!"

The stallion shyly brushed his mane away from his eyes. "Well, I do have my charms... Wait. How do you not know my name?"

Rarity turned her head and finally noticed the pegasus. "Oh, Sir Soarin! When did you get here?"

Discord could not hold back his laughter as he fell to the ground. Even Fluttershy could not help snickering. Rainbow Dash, however, looked at the draconequus sternly.

"So this is all just a joke?" Fluttershy inquired. "You don't want Soarin to marry your niece?"

"Are you kidding?" Discord replied. "He's an idiot! He has as much chance as the Duke! Maybe even less!"

"Why?" Rainbow Dash demanded. "Why get his hopes up like that?"

"It's so much fun!"

The pegasus shook his head. "It's just not right."

"Don't be such a grump, Dashie! Where's your sense of humor?"

"It never left. There are some things that just aren't funny. You're gonna get the poor boy's heart broken."

"Oh, he'll get over it."

Rainbow Dash glanced back at Soarin and saw him walking away with his head down. The Lady Rarity thought nothing of it, as she was lost in a world of her own.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Rainbow whispered.


Applejack and Octavia had been conversing when the Duke Spike burst into the throne room like a madstallion.

"Music!" he shouted. "NOW!"

Octavia did not argue as she mixed her bow with her cello. The dragon sunk deep into his throne as he listened to the sweet melody. Applejack took her usual seat beside him and watched him with worry.

It had been three days since Lady Rarity's last rejection and he was not taking it as well as Applejack had hoped. Her words had not been enough to ease his pain. Until the lady accepted him, this was what he was going to be like.

"Applejack."

The mare's ears perked up at the sound of him saying her name. Spike turned to her with a small smile.

"If you ever fall in love," he said, "remember me. Of course, I doubt there is a mare who wouldn't be interested in you, but remember that love is not always this gloomy. Believe me. It's the greatest thing you can ever feel."

Applejack only nodded, her eyes never leaving his. Their heads turned when the door opened and Flash Sentry came in.

"My lord," he said, "there is a fool at the gate by the name of Pinkie Pie. She says she heard you were unhappy and has come to cheer you up. Should I let her in, sir?"

"Her?" Applejack uttered.

"Pinkie Pie, eh?" Spike said, rubbing his chin. "I think I heard that name before."

"She's an old friend of the Lady Rarity's, my lord," Flash Sentry explained.

"But of course! Bring her in!"

The guard bowed and exited the room.

"I didn't know mares could be jesters," Applejack said.

"Unusual, I know," Spike agreed. "From what I've heard, this mare is one of the craziest ponies in all of Illyrimane, which makes her the perfect fool."

Everyone stiffened as they heard a wacky tune play down the hall. The doors swung open to reveal the one-mare-band. Once her song was finished, she smiled up at the dragon.

"Greetings, oh, wise Duke of Illyrimane!" she said with a bow. "I'm Pinkie Pie and I heard you were down in the dumps so I'm here to turn that sad frown upside-down!"

"Can you sing?" Spike inquired.

"Absa-tively posi-lootely! Care for a song?"

"If you please."

Pinkie blew her starting note into her harmonica.

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hooves!" she sang, clapping her hooves twice. "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hooves...err, claws?"

"Stop!" Spike commanded. "Do you know anything less...cheerful?"

Pinkie's face grew solemn. "Oh. It's one of those moods, isn't it?"

She stepped out of her instruments and whispered to Octavia. The gray mare nodded and began playing her cello. Pinkie closed her eyes and hung her head as she sang:

"No pony knows the trouble I've seen.

No pony knows my sorrow..."

Applejack did not pay much attention to the lyrics, but the melody seethed into her mind as she turned to gaze at the face of the Duke. He was smiling, but his eyes held great sadness. She longed to see him happy. Sure, she had seen occasional glimmers of excitement in him, but they never lasted long. If only he could be truly happy for just a moment.

During the past few days, she had been trying to decipher her feelings for the Duke. She found herself staring at him for long periods of time and fantasizing about him holding her in his arms. She had even dreamt about him.

Indeed, she was lost.

When Pinkie Pie finished the verse, she brought out a trumpet and played a solo.

"How do you like this song?" Spike whispered to Applejack.

The disguised mare snapped out of her trance to answer. "It gives you an idea of what bein' in love is like."

The dragon's smile grew a little and the sadness in his eyes seemed to diminish as they locked with hers. The moment was short-lived when he turned back to the pink mare.

"No pony knows the trouble I've seen.

No, no, no!"

Pinkie Pie waited for applause, but received none. She looked up in confusion, wondering if her performance was terrible. Then she saw the tears in the eyes of her audience. She sighed sadly. Some ponies cheered up with a few tears rather than a smile.

Spike jumped off his throne and handed the jester some gold. "Here's for your pains."

"No pain!" she piped, dropping the coins in her hat. "I take pleasure in singing!"

The dragon smirked. "Well, I'll pay you for your pleasures. That was a lovely song. I don't think I've heard it before."

"No pony has! It's from the future!"

He blinked up at her in confusion. "What?"

"Let me know when you're feeling blue again! Bye!"

She picked up her instruments and sang merrily as she trotted out the door.

"She's a strange one," Applejack murmurred.

"Yeah," Spike shrugged. "But she's apparently the best in her profession. I mean Rarity takes amusement in her. Speaking of which... Applejack, come here."

The disguised mare stood up and approached her master.

"Go to Lady Rarity's again," he whispered. "Tell her that my love will never die, no matter how hard she pushes me away."

Applejack bit her lip. "But suppose she can't..."

"Oh! And give her this."

He reached into his coat pocket and Applejack's eyes widened as they beheld a large, red, heart-shaped jewel.

"Is that a...?" she stammered.

"A fire ruby!" Spike exclaimed, his mouth watering. "I was saving this for lunch, but a beautiful, delicious gem like this belongs with the beautiful Lady Rarity."

Applejack's mouth remained agape as she took the jewel in her hoof. "This...this is the most generous gift anyone could offer!"

"I know, right? You think she'll like it?"

"Like it? She'll probably faint!"

"So give it to her and when she gains consciousness, tell her how much I love her."

Applejack's face fell as she recalled the purpose behind this gift. She sighed sadly as she tucked it in her coat.

"I'll try, my lord."

"I know you will," Spike said.

"But...what if she says no again? What if she's still in mourning?"

"Tell her I won't take no for an answer! Tell her I will wait for her if she so wishes!"

"If I may, my lord...are you certain this lady is The One?"

"She has to be! I dream about her all the time! They say if you dream something more than once, it must be fate!"

"I'm just sayin' that there are other ladies..."

"But none compare to the Lady Rarity!"

She saw the dreamy look in his eyes and that there was no point in trying to change his mind. The boy was unlucky in love, just as she was with him.

Author's Note:

Okay, I should probably explain Soarin and Rainbow Dash's roles in this. While planning this story, I was puzzled on who the three bums would be (Toby, Sir Andrew and Fabian). I already explained Discord. Instead of showing them as drunks, I decided to make them pranksters and certain ponies like Derpy, Rainbow and Pinkie came to mind, but they were all female. Then considering Sir Andrew is a knight, I thought of Soarin as a Wonderbolt and figured he was wacky enough and I could picture him as the sort of stallion to fawn over Rarity. Rainbow Dash is supposed to have Fabian's role. I also made her a knight, even though in the play Fabian is a servant, and is the more self-controlled of the bunch. I didn't really see Rainbow as a common servant. Though why is she referred to as a stallion in this? I'll explain later.

I've rearranged the plot a little and have added a few scenes so I'm not just copying the play entirely. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!