Imprisonment
Trixie yelped as she was tossed in a cell. The guards put up a magic shield on the bars so that she could not escape. The walls, floor and ceiling were already magic-proof for special prisoners. Trixie roared and pounded angrily on the force field.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie can't be locked up forever!" she shouted to the guards as they left. "Trixie is unstoppable! Trixie is unbeatable! Trixie is..."
"Why are you referring to yourself in the third-person?"
The unicorn turned her head to see the occupant of the cell across from her. A large, blue minotaur was lying on his cot, lazily scraping a piece of chalk against the prison wall.
"It's for dramatic effect," Trixie said with a huff. "So what are you in for, Sir Minotaur? Did you kill some pony?"
He rolled his eyes. "No."
"Rob a house?"
"No."
"Beat some pony up, at least?"
"No."
"Then what?"
He sighed. "I got melon juice all over a donkey's suit."
Trixie stared at the minotaur for a long while and then burst into laughter.
"Seriously?"
He shrugged. "He was a very cranky donkey."
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"
The minotaur sat up. "Isn't it? Iron Will did nothing wrong and look where he is!"
Trixie smirked. "Now look who's referring to themselves in the third-person. Hypocrite."
He locked eyes with her and they both giggled.
"So what's a fine young mare like you doing in here?" Iron Will inquired.
The unicorn groaned. "You might want to sit down."
"Ahem."
He gestured to himself on the cot.
"Right." Trixie cleared her throat. "High treason, being accomplice to murder in the first, second and seventeenth degree; illegal use of dark magic, attempted murder, selling rocks without a license, robbery, changing my name without proper paperwork, disturbing the peace, lying about my age, being a show-off, being accomplice to hostile takeover, under-age drinking, using magic under influence, breaking exile, participating in a sword fight, resisting arrest and speeding."
The minotaur blinked. "Impressive."
Trixie shrugged. "See why I can't make bail?"
Iron Will smiled and then remembered something. "Hold on. You're that Trixie? Daughter of Sombra the Traitor?"
The unicorn frowned. "Hey, you can't pick family."
"Oh, I meant no offense, but aren't you supposed to be in exile?"
"I was, thanks to that Twilight Sparkle!"
She let out another groan and slumped to the floor.
"Then what are you doing here?" Iron Will asked.
"I followed some pony," Trixie replied, gritting her teeth. "And he betrayed me!"
She pounded her hoof on the force field.
"So how long is your sentence?" the minotaur inquired.
"I'll be lucky if I get life," Trixie sighed. "At least I deserve it. How long have you been in here?"
Iron Will glanced at the marks on the wall. "Three weeks."
"For getting some pony messy? Gee, that's harsh."
"He said Iron Will assaulted him."
"You want injustice? I save the guy's life twice and the minute I'm arrested, he acts like he doesn't know me! Daddy warned me about stallions like that! The only thing he was ever right about!"
"Hey, cheer up. I have a friend who serves the Duke. I've tried to get a message to her, err, him, but the guards won't let me."
"Well, I'll most likely be called to see the Duke to receive my punishment."
"If you do, tell his pagecolt that Iron Will is in here. His name is Applejack."
Trixie scrunched her nose as he said this. Applejack... Why does that name sound familiar?
Pinkie Pie, Discord and Fluttershy tiptoed as they descended into the dungeon.
"Why are we doing this again?" Fluttershy asked.
"Hush!" Discord hissed. "Cranky's locked up in the darkest cell in this dungeon. Rarity thinks he's mad. We must make Cranky himself believe he's mad."
"Haven't we done enough?"
"This will be fun, believe me."
"But why am I here again?" Pinkie inquired.
"You're here to cast the demons out of Cranky."
"WHAT?!" she screamed.
"Shhh!"
"What?" she whispered. "You want me to perform an exorcism?"
"No," Discord replied, summoning a dark robe, a bald cap and a beard. "You will disguise yourself as a priest and pretend to perform an exorcism."
"Ooh! Roleplay!" She grabbed the pile of clothes and threw them on, making herself look like an old stallion. "I'll be Father Puddinghead!"
Discord slapped himself in the forehead. "Really?"
"Hey! You make the disguise, I make the name!"
"Fine, whatever! Just get down there and treat Cranky like he's crazy!"
"Can do!"
Discord then spoke in a louder voice. "This way, Father Puddinghead!"
"Show me to the loony!" Pinkie said in the exaggerated voice of an old stallion.
Not bad, thought Discord.
"Who's there?" called Cranky's frightened voice.
"It's Father Puddinghead!" Pinkie declared. "I've come to see Doodle the Doo-Doo Head!"
"No pony calls me Doodle!"
"My, he's rather rude, isn't he?"
"He's doing what the demons are telling him to do!" Discord exclaimed, suppressing a snicker.
"Which cell is his?"
Discord opened a slit in the wall and Pinkie peered inside to see the shape of a donkey huddled in a corner.
"Mister Doodle?" Pinkie called.
"Father Puddinghead?" Cranky exclaimed, coming to the tiny window. "Oh, good Father! Please, go to my lady..."
"Ah!" Pinkie screamed. "He is mad! Talking about nothing but ladies!"
"Please, let me out of here!"
"And who are you to command a priest, blasphemist?!"
Discord had to return to the bottom of the stairs where Fluttershy was so that he could giggle without being heard.
"Is she not a mad genius?" Discord whispered.
"I was framed!" Cranky declared. "Well, not exactly. See, I was told to do all those things by..."
"I knew it!" Pinkie screamed. "He's possessed!"
The jester turned priest pulled out a bowl of water from her cloak, dipped a sprinkler in it and flung water at the donkey.
"By the power of Celestia," Pinkie chanted, "I cast thee out, demon! Out, damn demon! Out, I say! Oops, wrong play."
"I'm not possessed!" Cranky insisted.
"Exactly what a possessed donkey would say!" She continued flicking water at him. "Demon donkey! Demon donkey!"
Discord covered his mouth, trying so hard not to laugh.
"Please, listen to me!" Cranky shouted.
Pinkie sighed. "Well, he's a lost cause. Nothing more I can do here. His soul is doomed."
"Father Puddinghead! Father Puddinghead!"
The donkey's voice was drowned out as Pinkie slid the window closed. She grinned as she walked over to Discord and Fluttershy.
"Good job, my friend!" the draconequus exclaimed. "You could have done that without the disguise! He can't even see you!"
"Good!" Pinkie wheezed, removing the remnants of her disguise. "It was getting hot in there!"
"Discord, this is going too far," Fluttershy said firmly. "We're going to have to let him out at some point."
"Come on, my dear," Discord said, putting his arm around the pegasus. "This was your idea, remember?"
"I didn't think you were going to lock him up."
"We can't let our secret get out. This is the only way to keep him quiet. Of course, I can always turn him into an orange, and..."
Fluttershy angrily wriggled out of his grasp. "Is this what you are going to do with your life? Chaos, chaos and more chaos?! There are more important things, you know?!"
"Oh, yeah? Like what?"
She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes that made Discord's heart shatter. Of all the times she had criticized him, called him out on his behavior, he had never seen her cry.
She turned away from him and raced up the stone steps.
"Fluttershy, please!" Discord called.
"She's got a point, you know?"
The draconequus turned to the jester. "What?"
Pinkie shrugged. "There are more important things than chaos."
"What? What could possibly be more important?"
Her eyes looked to where Fluttershy had gone. Discord followed her gaze and then looked back at her.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Pinkie demanded. "Go after her!"
Discord smiled in thanks and flew up the stairs. Pinkie turned in the direction of Cranky's cell. She agreed, they had pushed the prank a little too far, but there could be a way to put things right and still have a little fun.
She smiled in mischief as she started skipping down the row of cells.
"When I was a little filly and the sun was going down..." she sang.
Cranky recognized the voice and cried, "Pinkie?"
"The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown..."
"Pinkie, is that you?"
"I'd hide under my pillow, from what I thought I saw..."
"Pinkie!"
The fool stopped in her tracks and turned around, pretending she had heard the voice for the first time. "Who's there?"
"Cranky!"
"Cranky who?"
"Pinkie, I'm in this cell! Please, you've got to help me!"
Pinkie snorted. "You're bad at this game, Cranky."
She opened the slit in the wall anyway.
"Oh, Pinkie!" the donkey exclaimed, putting his hoof through the window. "I've never been so happy to see you!"
"Really?" Pinkie grinned. "Well, that's a first. What are you doing in here, Doodle? This is a lousy place for a sleepover."
"They think I'm mad, Pinkie! They locked me in this dark, damp cell and sent a blasted minster to..."
"You might want to watch your tone, mister! The minister's still here!"
"What?"
Pinkie giggled as she used her old stallion voice. "You best keep away from this one, Madam Pinkie. This one's possessed." She then spoke in her regular voice and moved to the other side of the cell. "Possessed! Well, I knew he was cranky, but I didn't think he was crazy! That's usually my job!"
"Yes, but you are paid to be crazy!" she said as Father Puddinghead.
Pinkie shrugged. "True that."
"Please, Father Puddinghead!" Cranky pleaded. "I'm not crazy!"
"Don't believe a word he says!" said Father Puddinghead. "They are the Devil's words!"
"I won't, Father," Pinkie said with a nod.
"Celestia be with you."
"And with you, sir. Bye!"
"Pinkie, don't leave me!" Cranky cried.
"Sorry, Doodle, I'm not supposed to talk to you."
"Don't talk to me then! But get me some paper, a quill, ink and a candle so that I may write to my lady! I am as well in my wits as any creature in Illyrimane!"
Pinkie eyed him suspiciously. "Really?"
"Yes!"
"Prove it!"
"In any way I can!"
"Okay. What's two plus two?"
"Four!"
"What color is the sky?"
"Blue!"
"When's my birthday?"
"Uh...I don't know!"
Pinkie snorted. "Of course you wouldn't know my birthday! Only my friends know my birthday!"
"So you see I'm not crazy?"
"Hmm. Yeah. But you're still cranky."
"Fine! Just get me the paper, please!"
"Okey, doki, loki!"
Pinkie skipped out of the dungeon to fulfill Cranky's request. She did not like Cranky, but she hated it when others were not smiling. If Rarity knew what was going on, it would put an end to all this insanity.
For a small mare, Fluttershy was awfully quick. Discord pursued her for what seemed like hours until he finally made the decision to teleport and block her path.
"Fluttershy, can't we talk about this?"
The pegasus mare gritted her teeth. "We have nothing to talk about."
She tried to move past him, but he grabbed her hoof. "Yes, we do! You have to explain to me why you're so angry! Is it because of this prank? Because you're as guilty for it as I am!"
"I know!" Fluttershy cried, tears forming in her eyes once again. "I'm just as guilty! Do you know what that means, Discord? If Rarity finds out about this, she'll not only throw you out, but me too! You at least have your chaos to take care of you. You can even build your own home! What about me? I have no family, no money, nowhere to go!"
She collapsed in exhaustion. Discord caught her and cradled her in his arms. He watched the tears stain her beautiful face and found he did not like them there. He wiped them away with the thumb of his paw and stroked her mane with his claw.
His heart swelled as he reached an epiphany. He cared. He cared for Fluttershy. He had admired her for quite a while, but it was only now that he realized he cared. The thought of her wandering the streets aimlessly, begging for food, or even worse...
He shook the thought out of his head. He would not let any pony touch his Fluttershy. Of all the ponies in the world, she was the only one who truly cared for him. He knew she did. She had criticized him all these years so he would not be turned to stone. Even if he was just thrown out, she did not want him gone either.
And to think he was close to destroying this mare's happiness all for some silly revenge game.
"Where would I go?" she whispered. "Where would I go?"
Discord took her face in his paw and claw and looked deeply into her sparkling teal eyes.
"If Rarity does find out," he said slowly, "and she does turn us out of doors, I will go wherever you go."
Fluttershy's eyes widened. "What?"
"I won't leave you to fend for yourself on the streets. You are much too precious to me."
She looked as if she did not believe him.
"I mean it," he insisted. "In truth, the real reason I wanted to get back at Cranky was not because he humiliated me, but because he spoke harshly to you. I...I didn't like it."
Fluttershy's mouth was open, but her mind was in such a muddle that she did not know what to say. Discord found himself tongue-tied too, unsure of how to continue. He then did the only thing that seemed appropriate at the moment. He pressed his lips against hers.
The minute they met, the two of them could hear a chorus of angels singing "Hallelujah!" It was as if Heaven was making its decree. Fluttershy was still confused, but she was so lost in the sensation of the kiss that she did not care.
Discord could not get enough of her lips. They were so sweet, so delicious. He just wanted to keep kissing her forever. With his magic, it was possible.
But there was so much he still wanted to say that he had to pull away. As he did, Fluttershy looked at him in shock.
"Do...do you...?" she attempted to say.
"I do," Discord said, taking her hoof. "I love you, Fluttershy."
He surprised her even more by dropping to one knee. "Marry me."
"What?" Fluttershy gasped, putting her hoof to her mouth.
"Yes, marry me. Right now. We'll go find a priest, wake up Rainbow and Soarin so they can be witnesses, and we'll be joined in the bonds of holy matrimony."
"But...but...so soon?"
"Chances are Rarity will learn of our prank tomorrow. I don't want to waste a minute."
Fluttershy shook her head. "B-but...it's so sudden! I don't know."
"Please, Fluttershy!" Discord pleaded, pulling her closer. "I've given it a lot of thought and it's apparent that you're the one for me!"
She blushed and shyly looked down at the floor. "But...I just don't understand...what you even see in me..."
"Don't talk like that! You're beautiful, you're kind-hearted, and any pony who can pull a fast one on Cranky is an angel in my eyes! So please, would you?" He then frowned. "Unless, of course...you don't want me."
Fluttershy stared at him for a long while. He was not much to look at, but she knew that despite his mischief, Discord had a good heart. She could especially see it in his eyes now as he was asking for her hoof. He had once told her that he would never let something as petty as love tie him down. He must truly care for her that he would change his mind.
She then smiled warmly at him. "I do love you, Discord, and...I will marry you."
Discord cried with joy and lifted her into his arms in a bridal fashion.
"Then come, my love!" he exclaimed. "For in an hour or so, we will be together forever!"
Fluttershy giggled and lifted her head so their lips would meet again. At long last, she would be with the creature of her dreams. Who knew it would take such an elaborate prank to bring them together?
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WOw, you work fast. At least you got nome matrial to fall back on.
Trixie
Iron Will
Rarity
Spike
Flash
Discord
Bottons
Soarin (
Discord think you gay, Dash 
)
BigMac
AJ
Twilight
Fluttershy
SweetBelle
RD
I have not read any shakesspher
But this story is amazing
You are the only fanfic writier that can ellicint some much emotion from me I am talking, making faces
and laughing histerically 
at my computor screen. Please continue to write mlp fanfics
P.S.
I NEED TO KNOW THE ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lost my shit when it got to the part with pinkie being the father XD
And then Fluttercord happened and everyone lived happily ever after~
I totally misread 'lips' as 'hips'. That certainly made it more interesting.
6152192 Oh wow that must have been fun.
You just can't help yourself, can you?#fluttercordftw
6420094 Huh? OH. OH MY. You have a sick mind.
6152192
oh dear Celestia...