Chapter the Seventh: The Ancient Mystic Chapter of No Homers
The Elements of Harmony followed Celestia into an empty, unused state room. While Homer was in Celestia’s Bedroom catching some Z’s, Celestia took the opportunity to give the Elements of necessary talking to.
“I am very disappointed,” said Celestia, in a calm voice that was weighted heavily with disappointment, “In all of you.” She motioned to the Elements, who hung their heads in deepest shame. Twilight looked like she might cry. “Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash,” she started. “I’ve never thought of any of you as violent; perhaps protective, maybe prideful, possibly provocable, but never violent. That any of you would raise hoof, horn or wing in aggression fills me with great sorrow. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy,” she continued, “though neither of you took part in this aggression, I am somewhat disappointed that neither of you intervened. Neither of you acted in malice, but fear and ignorance can be even worse.” Finally she turned to Twilight. “My faithful student.” The irony weighed down heavily on Twilight, as continued to hold back tears. “That you of all ponies instigated this surprised me. You who are so mindful, so intelligent, and and genial as any pony in Equestria…” she stopped, seeing in Twilight’s eyes that she made her point. She returned to speaking to the group at large. “Do any of you have an explanation for what happened? Is there some reason you all acted so… uncharacteristically?”
The group silently exchanged looks for a few seconds before they all tried to speak up at the same time.
“He’s been…”
“I was so…”
“…and then he went and…”
“…I can’t stand…”
“…I disinfected the artifact…”
“…he’s really messed up!”
“…that thing is crazy, and if you thought I was kidding…”
“…I can’t get any closer…”
“…I’ve HAD IT!”
“…I DON’T KNOW!”
“…but the choreography didn’t synch, so Gummy couldn’t come!”
“SILENCE!”
And there was silence.
“I’m sorry, my little ponies,” said Celestia. She sat on her haunches, then slowly drooped to the floor. “I’ve been feeling a bit uneasy for a while, now.”
“What’s wrong, Princess?” Twilight asked with a note of worry in her voice.
“Is it something to do with the fate of Equestria?!” asked Rarity frantically.
“Isanancientevilabouttomakeitsreturn?!” asked Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie in one breath. “I win!” shouted Pinkie delightedly.
Celestia shook her head like an old pony trying to shoo away flies. “I cannot identify the cause of my discomfort; and now I’m starting to feel a bit under the weather. I wish I were in my bed right now.”
The door creaked open. Homer peeked inside.
“Now, you might want to repair that bed right now, but can we eat? I haven’t had anything to eat for ten days!”
“Ten minutes!” corrected Twilight Sparkle.
“Nine days!”
“No, ten minutes!”
“Eight days!”
“I’m not haggling!”
“Then we can agree to disagree,” Homer said while shrugging. He left to search for food.
Twilight ground her teeth in frustration. Suddenly, an idea came to her.
“Princess, how long have you been feeling down?”
“Not long at all,” said Celestia. “You need not worry yourself my faithful student, I’m sure it’s just a passing…”
“Did you first notice it yesterday morning?”
Celestia perked up slightly. “Yes,” she said curiously, “I had just started to feel this anxiety when I woke up yesterday morning.” Then she remembered the details from Twilight’s letter. “You don’t mean…”
“I think I do, Princess. Your uneasiness may be connected to Homer Simpson’s first appearance in Ponyville!”
Everyone seemed shocked to say the least.
“Sounds like an ancient evil to me,” said Dash. “Now we HAVE to do something!”
“Hold on, Rainbow Dash,” said Twilight, “Just because they may be correlated doesn’t mean we should jump to conclusions.”
“It’s not jumping to conclusions if you’re right!”
“WE DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE RIGHT!”
“WE DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE RIGHT!”
“THAT’S THE SAME IDEA!”
“SILENCE! ABSOLUTE SILENCE!”
Again, there was silence.
“Oh dear,” said Celestia. “I’m so sorry. Even my temper seems to be quite short today.”
“Aha!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. “This proves my theory one-hundred-and-twenty percent! Homer is some sort of evil avatar of anger that has escaped from its otherworldly prison to corrupt everypony so that it can take over Equestria!”
“Daring Do and the Avatar of Anger is a work of fiction, Dash” said Twilight. “I don’t think it applies to our situation.”
“Everypony thought ‘The Mare in the Moon’ was an old pony’s tale. How do you know that A. K. Yearling didn’t stumble into another world and see it happen herself?”
“It would be less likely than if all of the other books were real, and that A. K. Yearling was really Daring Do!”
“Well, I think that…” started Fluttershy.
“AH!” Rarity jumped.
Everyone looked at them.
“Sorry, Fluttershy. Please do go on.”
“It’s okay. I was saying that I don’t think that Homer is bad.”
Everyone waited.
“That’s all I wanted to say…”
“Fluttershy,” said Celestia, causing her to shrink behind Rarity. “No, wait, I want you to explain why you think so. Please, Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy reluctantly stepped forward. “Well, he wasn’t being very nice to Princess Luna, but I don’t think he was himself at that point. Other than that, he’s just sort of been a little…”
“Dumb,” said Applejack. “I kinda’ know what you mean, Fluttershy, but his being dumb has caused a wagonload of problems, and not just tiny problems, BIG problems.”
“He isn’t trying to hurt anypony, maybe if we can find a way to help him…”
“But he has hurt somepony, Big Mac, Princess Luna, who’s next?”
“But we’ve also hurt him, and…” Fluttershy struggled to get the rest of the words out of her mouth. “I could’ve stopped you, but I felt so afraid.”
“Of what?” asked Twilight.
“I don’t know! I knew I should have done something, but I was really scared of getting involved, I didn’t feel I could do anything.”
Twilight thought to herself. Her brain was starting to get a picture of… something. “These peculiarities seem to be connected. But how and to what extent? Come on, Twilight, think! How could these things be connected?!”
“Twilight?”
“Huhwhat?”
Rarity was staring at her, and now everyone else was, too.
“You seemed to be ‘Out of it’ as it were.”
“Sorry,” said Twilight. “I know there’s a connection here, but that’s all I know. I don’t know where it starts, where it ends, or what it involves.”
*SNORE*
Everyone jumped then looked towards the location of the sound. Pinkie was standing next to Rainbow Dash, snoozing away. Dash shook her awake.
“Hmuh?” said Pinkie Pie. “Is it dinnertime?”
“Pinkie, how long have you been asleep?” asked Twilight.
“Since Princess Celestia said ‘I am very’, which doesn’t really make much sense because usually you say something after ‘very’ but whatever I had this awesome dream where I was playing a game with Rainbow Dash to see who could say something the fastest and it’s a shame Gummy couldn’t come because…”
“Pinkie, we’ve been having a VERY important discussion!” scolded Twilight. “How can you have slept through all of it?”
“Pssh, I only missed 99.5810056% of the discussion.”
…
“Well,” said Celestia while looking at a wall clock, “I think it is time for dinner to be served. Let us be off, my little ponies, there is somepony in my bedroom who should be pleased to hear… wait, what did he say about my bed?”
Everyone shuffled out of the room in a hurry so as to not have to answer the question.
Stats
Page generated in 0.033 seconds
Total duration
1,033 users online
206,821 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
What was the point of this chapter? Me want more Homer.
“…but the choreography didn’t synch, so Gummy couldn’t come!” Lol pinkie
3980255
Don't worry, Homer will have plenty to do in the next chapter!
I really hope they don't think Homer is evil...
Oh dear, Homer broke the bed.
They may have to kill Homer.
Also, this is one of the most random stories I've ever read.
Nice fic.
3980602
I hope that he just broke the bed, with Homer's history there's a whole universe of bad things that could have happened to that bed.
3981055
My only guess is that something is using Homer as the focal point of an Exaggeration Spell, making everyone's bad traits more pronounced... including Homer's. Especially given that Homer isn't stupid, he's literally got a brain impairment. In the form of a crayon, of all things.
...
I just had an idea: what if the focal point isn't Homer... but the crayon that is the source of his stupidity? It'd fit the symbolic nature of a lot of magic.
3986875
Yeah, and if someone cast a spell tied to the crayon and, using said crayon as a focus to create an exaggeration field, in which negative traits are more pronounced than they should be.
As for continuity... well, yeah. But I liked the crayon one the best, I think the 'sacrifice for my family' ending was very true to Homer's real self. He may tend to be a lazy goof, but he stands up and does his best (however bad that may be) when his family is involved. Unless it's his sisters in law or his dad.
Or during a Halloween special.
3987218
Hell, the stress on her is a realistic part of trying to run a nation of almost any size. Most bureaucracies run on paperwork, after all, not money or fuel sources.
And yeah, think of it this way: The big bad want to keep Celestia busy, without anything she can actually fight. Instead of summoning a major demon or something (which the Elements of Harmony could destroy/petrify/redeem) it instead brings in an innocent... who is now making everyone's problematic personality quirks into full-blown psychological problems. Celestia will likely become more tired, Luna will be more rambunctious, Pinkie will lose her ability to focus entirely, Dash will become more and more irritable, Twilight more obsessive, Fluttershy more... well, shy, etc.
Thus, the big bad has crippled Equestria's defenses... without leaving a single target in sight.
Of course, this is all speculation, and the story may be going in a completely different direction.
To quote "Treehouse of Horror XIII":
Does Homer seem... dumber than usual?
Me not notice.
Oh God...Homer meets Blueblood.
3984998 An Exaggeration Spell...
Wait a moment! It all makes sense now!
Homer has become the source of Flanderization
Thank you, good sir, for helping me discover this. That's why everyone around Homer suffers from Flanderization, Himself included!
4028717
Thank you!
I wasn't going to call it a Flanderization spell because, well, that sounds silly, even by magical naming standards, but yes, in essence.
Celestia becomes the 'tired old mentor', Twilight the 'obsessive nerd', etc. Everyone suffers, but nobody can do a single thing about it, because there's nobody around to punish for it.
Also, the irony for Homer being Flanderized is too much to pass up.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
You... You write Homer Simpson perfectly! How do you do that? Seriously, how?
I don't know what's going on anymore,
And I love it.