• Published 17th Mar 2012
  • 6,450 Views, 212 Comments

Jedi Exile - makey101

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I had been warned by Twilight that the townspeople of Ponyville were not a people that trusted strangers. She mentioned a zebra named Zecora and an incident where the "Ponyvillans", as I began to call them, hid from her. I was prepared for this eventuality as I had encountered some reclusive tribes on a few strange moons in my travels. Twilight also told me that she would call a town meeting and something about a "mayormare". I had all but tuned her out by this point.

By the time I snapped out of my reverie, we were on the outskirts of town and a peculiar thing happened. The townspeople didn't run in fear. In fact, many of them ignored me. Well, most of them anyways. There were a few of the children who thought i looked funny and started to run around me. I stooped down and patted one of the young things on the head and told them to go back to their parents like any responsible person would do.

However, doing this caught the curiosity of the other ponies that were about the town. I could not tell what they were curious about. It seemed that they were as curious at my words with the children as they were at my appearance. There were some ponies that kept their distance from me and others who pushed closer to get a good look. Thankfully, they thought I was nice due to my proximity to Twilight.

Twilight seemed to be relieved to be back in her home town. We ignored the curious townspeople and stepped in front of a large tree-house. In my time , I have been to quite a few planets and have seen many tree houses. However, Ewoks and Wookies never made a tree-house. The irony was not lost on me.

"You know, it is rude to start laughing at one's home"

"I'm sorry it's a tree-house! Get it? The tree is the house!" I blurted, clenching my stomach with one hand and pounding on the ground with the other. I was joined by a pink pony who was just as enthused as I. The curious thing about it was that when she noticed me, she made an exasperated gasp and ran through the door of the tree-house.

After a few well-deserved minutes of collecting myself, I motioned to Twilight that I was finished.

"Your joke wasn't that funny." Perhaps Twilight was self concious of her tree-house?

"Whatever. At least a Wookie has a sense of humor."

I pushed open the door to find a dark room. I knew it was occupied through the dents in the Force. My mind raced as I prepared for another attempt on my life.


The room lit up with confetti and colorful pony shapes. I was still in ambush-mode and had jumped to the side of the doorframe in order to survive the "attack". I was confronted with the pink pony who had bolted into the tree-house.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! This was supposed to be a surprise party but then you said that joke and I was like "Oh my goodness that is a really funny joke" and then the door just opened and I fell out and saw you so I thought that this required a party so I used my party-cannon to spruce up the library so we could party with you and now I have a very very super intensely important question to ask: do you like parties?"

It took all of my concentration to catch all of what Pinkie Pie said. I say catch and not understand because no creature I have heretofore met can understand a brick of language. However, the clever ones respond to the questions at the end.


"Oh goodie! you must be a super fantabulific space-alien to ever crash-land in all of equestria!" Her sentence crescendoed into her standing while motioning at the sky with an exasperated arm flailing. A pegasus with rainbow colored hair flew close to Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie! How many times do I have to tell you that there are no such things as aliens?"

"Of course aliens exist you silly willy! This alien crash-landed his space ship in the Everfree last week and you were all "Look out Pinkie! It might be an alien space ship." and I thought "Yeah! it is an alien space ship!" then a few days later this alien showed up on the edge of town being all sneaky like so I told Twilight that the alien was on a super secret mission and that she should say "hi" to it so it can have a cupcake!"

All eyes in the library turned to Twilight.

"Well there was a hunk of charred metal that he called a ship"

The eyes shifted slowly to me.

"Well it looks like the cat is out of the bag..."

"I would hope so! because Opal is right over there!" She pointed to a cat that appeared to have been "pampered" to an alarming degree.

"Wrong cat, but yes. I did crash here a about seven to eight days ago. It is tough to tell sometimes." I put on my best Jedi face and posture. "It is a pleasure to meet you all, you may call me Warden. I come now as a representative of my people and my Order. Please, take me to your ruler." I finished my first contact greeting with a graceful bow.

My bow was met with silence. The first one to talk was a white unicorn with spiraling purple hair. "It is a pleasure to meet you Mr. Warden." She added her own bow to reciprocate. The rainbow one just stared at me with wide eyes. The yellow one, however, was attempting to occupy the smallest amount of space as possible.

"You never mentioned you were a diplomat!" Twilight's eyes started darting around the room. "The decoration is not befitting an alien representative!"

Twilight was interrupted by an orange pony who appeared to be unconvinced of something. "What might ah ask is th' name of yer order?"

"Well, I may have been kicked out of that particular Order." Shoot! I gotta keep a lid on this! "However, I still live by it's tenants."

The orange pony leaned close and inspected me before giving in. "Humph! Fine. But ah got mah eye on you."

"I wouldn't have it any other way"

The party lasted the greater part of the evening. The first while was awkward due to the careful watch of "Applejack". However, after a rather entertaining prank involving a bowl of punch, several books, and the last foot or so of "Rainbow Dash's" tail. "Fluttershy" actually gathered up the stones to introduce herself, even if I had to Listen to learn her name. At some point in my hi-jinx, "Rarity" had slipped out to "freshen up" for the "dignitary". When she came back, she literally shined. She struck up a conversation that seemed to be about nothing other than my robes. I dodged the questions as any man would do.

The party wound down and the other ponies trickled out of the library-tree (of which the irony still wasn't lost). Twilight had sent off a letter to her Princess via her small dragon "companion" as she put it. not sister, lover, nor mother. When darkness finally came, Twilight offered the guest bed across from hers. I refused on the grounds of "tradition" and found a nice little corner to make my bed in. No sooner had I settled in between two bookcases that I fell into my average dreamscape.

I was standing at the door to the High Council's chamber. Sarah was leading me by the hand, gripping a little harder than she should have.

"You don't have to go through with this!"

"Barthandelus, You know as well as I that this must happen."

"But it doesn't have to be you! It could be anybody!"

"We can't risk it. Others might get it wrong." Sarah said with a soft smile.

Sarah handed me her only possession. I looked at the deep blue gem and understood its finality.

"You are a good man Barthandelus. Be brave." Sarah turned around, damp eyes lingering as long as they could. "Be brave."

Sarah opened the doors to the Council Chambers before I could stop her. Her wavy brown hair swayed with her steps.


Twilight rushed downstairs to find Warden showing a terrifying display of magic. He had thrown two of the bookcases across the room, causing them to crash and break with the others nearby.

He crouched low, spreading his legs wide with his arms pulled into his sides. He then leaned forward and made an exaggerated kick with his leg that formed a wide arc. His magic had knocked the wooden bust of a horse off of the table and high into the air. Taking his Lightsabers off of his belt, he turned them on and threw them at the bust, slicing it into four pieces.

By the time the busts hit the floor, Warden was visibly trembling. His breathing was ragged and his legs weak. He slumped to the floor and attempted to gather himself.

"W-what did you do to my library?" Twilight asked after she noticed Warden's breathing return to normal.

"I am sorry. My emotions got away from me. My masters always said that would be my undoing. As for your library, I will have it fixed by morning." Warden was still looking at the ground.

"By morning? how?" Twilight didn't want to stir Wardens anger again.

"I am good with my hands. You may go to back to bed now." Warden slowly got up and started to clear the floor of books.

"If I may ask, who is Sarah?" Twilight asked, halfway up the stairs.

"Someone close to me." said warden in a 'do not ask any more questions' tone.

She didn't and entered her room with a worried glance behind her.

Spike on the other hand shouted "That was AWESOME!"

Warden chuckled.