These Idle Hands
On My Honor
These Idle Hands
By Honored Service
Preread by Tbone5363
Edited by TheDarkAngel and Duncan Zundel
I levitated the boards into place as Rainbow Dash flew overhead, whacking the nails that Twilight was holding over my 2x4s. In one quick and seamless motion, the floor to the second story was completed. In over two weeks, my house had come together incredible fast. I had asked my friends for help whenever I was unable to do things myself and I wasn't busy working on my spell rune hidden in the Everfree Forest. The entire first floor and basement were completed, as the walls, windows, and doors had been built. But the interior was still empty. I figured Rarity would help me design the interior of the house. I’m guessing she’ll love that.
“Okay, thanks for the help, girls!” I smiled as Twilight and Rainbow came over to me. Dash hovered above the ground in front of me and looked over the newly finished section of the house.
“Well, what do you know!” She said while looking smugly at me, “Pegasi are just as quick at building normal homes as they are with cloud homes.”
“You do know it’s been almost a month since we started, right?” Twilight said, lifting her wing and preening the primary feathers along it.
“So, maybe just a little slower,” Rainbow Dash blushed a bit while I laughed.
“So, Rainbow,” I looked up to the pegasus and cracked my knuckles before grabbing a board in my magic and floating it over to the side of the house, “You still talking to Sergeant Stand Bold?” I tapped the thick board into the ground to act as a support beam for the sunshade overhanging for the car port. Which was kinda pointless, seeing as I didn't have a car.
“Maybe! So what, if I have?!" Rainbow shot back, a slight blush spreading across her face.
“Sheesh, I was just asking, that’s all. Didn't mean to pry,” I smiled at Rainbow Dash.
"And Twilight, how are you and Battle Plan?”
“Oh, that…" Now it was Twilight’s turn to do a tomato impression, “Um, we haven't done much, really. We just talked about magic and the latest in advanced thaumic field theory and…oh shut up!" She turned and stuffed a hoof into Dash’s mouth as she began to laugh at the nerdy alicorn’s embarrassment.
“Oh, lighten up, Twilight! It’s all in good fun,” I joked while tapping in the second thick board across from the first. I levitated multiple sheets of plywood into the air and waited for Twilight to hammer them in place. The steady ‘thump’ of the hammer told me she was almost finished.
“What am I going to do with all this free time?” I asked aloud to the ponies as the awning was nailed into place and the hammer was laid on the ground, “Once this house is finished, I’ll have nothing to do...” I looked at the half way finished house. It still needed paint and other aesthetically pleasing decorations, but I could move into the bottom floor. Nothing was stopping me.
Twilight helped me levitate my green weapons case and other belongings into the house and set them down in the main room. I nodded my thanks and pulled out the sniper rifle.
“I’m thinking this goes here,” I held the rifle up above the fireplace, "It ties the room together, don’t you think?”
Twilight jerked the weapon out of my grasp and shoved it back into the container. “No, Honored. A nice painting would do that.”
“Ugh, fine, Mom,” I sat down on the top of the crate and looked around.
“So, any ideas as to what I should do now?”
“Well, what did you first do when you got to Equestria and had nothing but free time?” Twilight asked me as she sat down in front of the green crate. She reached out and picked up one of the Glocks. I watched her try and open the slide, laughing at her inability to do so. I quickly removed the weapon from her hoof and placed it back in the box.
“I stalked the town of Ponyville and lived in the woods, creeping around.”
“What?”
“Oh, nothing, just gathered supplies to stay alive in the forest,” I said, brushing off my previous statement.
“Didn't you get a job?” Twilight nudged my leg with her elbow, “You helped around AJ’s farm. Why don’t you look around the town and see if you can’t find a job working for somepony. You take orders really well.”
I tapped a finger to my chin, “You’re right, I do take orders well. And I know just the place where people place orders.
“You want to do what now?” Pinkie Pie asked looking completely confused by my request.
“I said I’d like to start a job working for you!” I smiled and looked at the pony behind the display shelf at Sugar Cube Corner. Ponies place orders here and then the sugary sweets get cooked. I was good at taking orders and how hard could cooking sweets be? I was great at other forms of cooking, so in theory this should go great.
“Well, I guess it could be super-duper fun working with you!” Pinkie Pie smiled at me and gestured for me to follow her behind the counter towards the kitchen, “Let’s get you started on some chocolate chip double-fudge brownies with caramel coating.”
“Sounds simple enough.”
Man this was going to be great! Not only would I get to cook super delicious food, but I’m sure I could sample it before selling it. And I did love chocolate.
“The recipe book is here,” Pinkie Pie placed the old book in front of me, “And you must follow the directions to the 'T', and all the other letters if you want this to turn out simply perfect.” For once, I saw Pinkie being serious. I guess cooking sugar-loaded diabetes squares was a passion of hers. Better not let her down!
“I won’t fail you ma'am,” I gave her a salute and popped to attention, grabbing an egg beater and holding it to my shoulder.
“You better not,” Pinkie Pie said with a serious face, “Or it will be that last thing you do.”
She grabbed a cookie off a cooling rack and violently bit it in half before smiling and humming in delight at the cookie.
“Have fun!” With that, she turned around and bounced out of the kitchen, leaving me staring at the old recipe book and a lot of cooking ingredients.
“Better get started. Okay, Step One: preheat oven to 350 degrees,” Man this was too easy.
Specialist Higgins was starting his average day at Fort Laxson. Pretty simple. Sit in front of the com center and listen to the normal chatter of Sergeants communicating to their First Sergeants. An average day for an average radio operator.
He flicked on the power switch to his head set and sat down, opening up his newspaper to the sports section.
A few minutes passed and a few messages came through. Just regular stuff, nothing interesting.
“TANGO WHISKY ALPHA Niner-fife-tree-one-zero, radio frequency QUEBEC ROMEO four-three-six-eight OVER![/b”
Higgins bolted upright in his chair and grabbed the code manual sitting beside him on the cluttered desk.
“This is Tango Whisky. Send over.” This was different. This code…this code didn’t make any sense to the Specialist. That code was listed as a hostile attack.
“TANGO WHISKY–"
An odd chiming filled the radio’s speakers as the Specialist listened to the frantic screaming and shouting on the other end of the radio.
“GET THAT FUCKING DOOR SHUT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT ANYWAY?!?”
More chiming filled the radio followed by a rapid banging that sounded like... Like an assault rifle being fired.
“Quebec Romeo repeat last, over," Specialist Higgins said while flagging down a passing officer and switched the radio from headset to speakers.
“We’re being hit! One hostile. He's got some kind of heavy firepower. We need help ASAP! Armory location: Echo Hotel fife-eight-one-niner-two-four-fife-seven. Over.”
“Sir, what is this? Some kind of new testing procedure?” The confused Specialist looked up to the officer who was also mimicking the confused look.
“No idea Higgins. But let’s send QRF Yankee down to check it out.”
The oven bell rang and I jumped up from my seat against the appliance and opened the door. I aimed my gauntlet at the trays of brownies and levitated them out of the heated interior over to the cooling racks I had set up. The deep, rich smell of chocolate fudge covered the room and I felt a deep hunger boil up from my stomach. I picked up the bottle of caramel and began applying a thick, even layer of the sweet gooey sauce over the chocolate delights.
As the brownies began to cool, the caramel on top began to harden, creating a perfect tan coating over the tops of the brownies.
“I’m sure Pinkie won’t mind if I have just one...” I picked up the tray of extra brownies and sat down, pulling out a spatula and digging into the large tray of sugary treats.
"Honored, these smell…great? Oh no,” Pinkie Pie walked into a scene that could only be described as confectionary massacre from Tartarus. Bits of fudge and chunks of brownies covered the floor, walls, ceiling, and counters.
“Ohhhhhh my stomach.”
Pinkie Pie poked her head around the middle island counter and saw the human laying on his back on the floor of the kitchen. His red shirt was stained with chocolate and what she could only hope was milk. His eyes were rolled into the back of his head and his tongue was hanging out of the side of his mouth as he gasped for air. Honored’s stomach was bulging, showing what the obvious problem was.
“Yeah, I remember my first chocolate chip double-fudge brownie with caramel coating,” Pinkie Pie reminisced and walked over to the hurting human.
“Please,” He gasped out, clutching his stomach, before looking up at the pink pony, “Kill me.” He lifted his trembling hand to his shoulder holster and pulled out his pistol and held it out the pony.
“Shhhhh,” Pinkie Pie pushed a hoof against his mouth, “It’s going to be okay soon.”
She reached down and picked up a wooden spoon, flipping it into the air and catching it with the long handle pointing down at the human’s mouth.
“Too much of a good thing is bad for you, Honored,” Pinkie Pie said while slowly lowering the wooden handle towards the human, who was feeling too sick to even attempt to move out the way.
“And so, you gotta get that good out.”
"Ohh dear Celestia..."
“Hello, Rarity, I’m looking for a part-time job,” I told the white unicorn.
I had gone home to my partially-built house, changed clothes and washed the vomit out of my hair and off my face. And clothes. And, well, everything.
“Well, I guess I could use some help during the day. Sure, why not! Darling, come in, I’ll get you set up with some simple tasks,” Rarity turned around and I followed her into her home/workplace. I eyed the impressive collections of dresses and clothes. Some were flashy and brightly decorated in gems and jewels, while others were more modest and subtle.
"Say, I though you were working for Pinkie Pie?"
“Um...yeah…I was, but me being around so much sugar just didn’t work out. Turns out, I have a bit of a sweet tooth,” I coughed and rubbed the back of my neck, my mind still plagued by the sweet goodness that was those mouthwatering, spine-tingling, heart-stopping brownies.
“Very well then, darling. Let’s see...”
Rarity hummed to herself as she looked at me. She narrowed her eyes at me while she thought. Her brow began to wrinkle in concentration as she pondered on what to do with me.
“Can you sew?”
“Yeah! I mean...not well, but I've fixed buttons on a bunch of uniforms for myself and others.”
“No dear, like really sew. Button stitch?”
“Nope.”
“Lock stitch?”
“Nah.”
“Backhand stitch?”
“Nadda.”
“Any type of stitch besides just poking thread through a hole and pulling it through another in a brutish manner?”
“Not really.”
Rarity sighed and rubbed a hoof to her temple. “Okay, well I can’t use you as an assistant dress maker, then. Maybe I can use you for something else.”
“This isn’t what I had in mind,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
I stood on top of a circular pedestal, while Rarity hummed lightly and trotted around me on the white pristine floor.
I currently was grumpy. Well, more of a displeased annoyance. Rarity had decided that, since I couldn’t actually help make the dresses, I could [shudder] model them. I was standing in a frilly pink and baby blue ball gown that was going to be the base model for Rarity’s new Minotaur line of clothing. And she decided that I wasn't physically built for the male body shape of their species, but I could easily model their women structure.
Yup. I was in a dress.
“Come now, darling,” Rarity cooed at me while I tried to cross my arms and glare even harder at the mare, “You came to offer help at a boutique. What did you expect?”
I lifted a hand, but was caught off guard. Touché, Rarity.
“Well...can we just hurry up then? I would hate if someone saw me like this. Imagine what Applejack would say. Or Rainbow Dash. Or...” I gulped and suddenly looked around, making sure the blinds around the windows were closed,
“Luna.”
Rarity gave a light laugh at me as she stuck another pin into another damned pink bow that was adorning the middle section of the dress at my waist.
*FSSSHH*
A bright flash of light obscured my vision momentarily.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!?” I screamed as I rubbed my eyes. I cracked them open to see a colt holding a camera around his neck, looking through an opening in the curtains directly across from me.
“Featherweight,” I growled at the window. The colt’s eyes grew huge as he bolted form the window. “Oh hell no.”
I reached down and grabbed the bottom of the gown and hiked it up and jumped down from the platform. I ran towards the door still holding the dress up until I reached the door to the boutique. I looked down and shook my head before sliding out of the dress and opening the door, calling over my shoulder, “Rarity, I’ll be back once I murder my first camera!”
“Play nice dear!” Rarity called out after me as I sprinted towards the library in the center of town, a small off-white speck in the distance trying to flee from my inevitable onslaught.
“SLOW DOWN FEATHERWEIGHT! I JUST WANT TO PLAY A GAME!”
I gave chase after Featherweight, his wings buzzing as he zoomed in front of me. But I was powered by something faster than mere wings: I was powered by the thought of the humiliation, the complete and utter shame that would come to be associated with my name should anyone see that picture, let alone it be posted in the paper Feathers worked for. I could almost see the headlines: 'Warrior or Wuss? International Hero Caught Demonstrating His Feminine Side', or something equally horrible.
Featherweight dove around the market stalls and vanished into the safety of the library’s interior. I ducked and dodged my way around the vendors and slightly upset ponies in the market, but by now they were used to my random sprints through town. I reached the wooden door of the library and opened it with enough force to slam it against the wall on the other side.
“HEEERE'S JOHNSON!” I bellowed into the quiet library, smiling like a madman.
I found the little bugger hiding behind certain purple librarian. Needless to say, Twilight looked less than happy at me. She was holding a camera in her magical aurora. And also floating in front of her was a Ponyroid picture. A picture of a human wearing an extremely frilly, pink, lacy dress. I stood across from her, the tension filling the air as I stared her down while Featherweight jumped out an open window.
“Twilight, may I please have that picture?” I took a step forward, my arm outstretched.
“I don’t know Honored...” Twilight looked back to me, a wicked grin plastered across her face, “This is the kind of leverage that some ponies would kill for. Think about it.”
The smile on her face seemed to grow even bigger as she stared at the humiliating photo, “Somepony could bend you to their will in order to keep this hidden. They could make you do anything they wanted." She waved the photo at me, taunting me as I continued to reach out for it.
“What do you want?” I whispered out at her. I knew when I was defeated.
“The better question, my dear Honored,” Twilight made the photo disappear in a flash of bright light, “Is: what are you willing to do to get that photo back?”
“I’ll be your assistant,” I said. I looked at the evil alicorn. Damn, she was being a grade-A bitch. Can't say I didn't deserve it, just a little.
“But Honored, I already have an assistant,” Twilight continued to smile at me.
“Oh, come on!” I groaned.
“I don't like you attitude, Mister.”
“Fine. Sorry, Miss Sparkle,” I felt utterly humiliated, “I can be your Number Two assistant.”
“That’s more like it,” She smiled and nodded her head innocently, “And I heard you were looking for a job, anyway.”
“It gets easier after you do this about five or six times,” Spike informed me.
I was shelving the entire fucking library after Twilight had decoded it would be a good idea to make sure that there weren't anymore scrolls or books hiding in hard to reach places that someone could find.
“Gee, thanks!” I said while using my magic to place another row of books back onto a shelf, “That makes this seem so much better.” I hauled the books from the next shelf down and inspected the shelf behind them. All clear. With that I levitated them back. This was bullshit. I was a mighty soldier. A feared warrior. A–
“HONORED!”
“Yes, Miss Sparkle?” I said, running up the stairs that Spike was sitting on and towards the alicorn’s bedroom.
“Ah, speedy and respectful, I like it.”
Twilight was stretched out on her bed, reading a book with a class of wine hovering in her magic. “Now, I know that these last few hours have been a bit hard for you.”
“Understatement of the century,” I mumbled from where I stood at the foot of her bed.
“What was that, Number 2?” She narrowed her eyes at me, reminding me of why I was doing this.
“I said, it hasn't been that bad, Miss Sparkle,” I gave her the most fake smile I could muster. Considering that I had just spent nearly five hours of my life moving goddamn books around, she was lucky that I didn’t have my sword on me, or there would be a lot of shredded books lying around. It was bad enough, having to reign in my impulsive magic and not destroy every single book in the library.
“That’s what I thought you said. Now, I think that you have done enough for me. I understand that you may feel that this was unfair, but you must look at it from my perspective. Given the chance to use someone as a forced servant-”
“Slave,” I coughed into my hand.
Twilight looked at me and cleared her throat, continuing, “Wouldn't you have taken it? And besides, consider this payback for taking the dark magic book and the scroll.”
“You remember that?”
I was shocked that she hadn't forgotten I had taken that book. I did learn some cool tricks involving turning my enemies into suicidal murderers, then turning them against each other. I remembered the griffons trying to stop me and the Elements of Sanctuary from finding our elementary weapons. The spell had rendered them all useless. Then they hacked and slashed each other until only one remained, who killed himself. I think it was a neat trick. A little dark, but neat.
“Yes, I do. So consider us even," Twilight hovered the simple Ponyroid picture towards me. I snatched it out of the air. I stuffed into my pocket and looked at Twilight.
“Um, thanks for not sending that to anyone. Or showing it to anyone.”
“Yeah. See, I’m not an evil alicorn,” She winked at me and smiled before returning back to her book.
“So...you don’t need another assistant around the library permanently?” What? Don't look at me like that, I was still looking for a job.
“No, sorry Honored,” She lazily flipped a page in her book, “It was just a one day thing, as payment for the book and scroll.”
“Oh. Well, thanks again for keeping this on the down-low.”
“Don’t mention it,” Twilight waved a hoof at me.
I nodded and walked out of her room, closing the door behind me. I pulled the photo out and looked at it. Stupid picture. And damn Featherweight didn’t even get my good side. That dress made my ass look huge. As I stared at the photo I failed to notice the dragon that had decided to sleep on the stairs.
I felt something beneath my lightly-soled Nike SFB combat boot and then there was a yelp from Spike. A quick gout of green fire exploded from his mouth as he jerked his tail from underneath my boot, but the damage was done. The flame shot out perfectly between my hands where I was holding the photo. Spike stared at me, still clutching his throbbing tail, and then at the green wisp of smoke that was traveling out of the open window in the library.
“no.”
“No.”
“NOOOOOOOO!” I dropped to my knees and screamed to the heavens. I pulled my legs into my chest and began to slowly rock myself back and forth.
“Um, Twilight?” Spike called out towards the bedroom, “I think I broke him.”
Celestia sat on her throne and sighed quietly to herself. She was listening to the pony before her explain why he should be given his own section of the market for his business. She had already decided that he would not get his request since giving a cabbage grower such a huge space was a waste, but she felt it was her duty to at least let the pony speak his mind.
*POOSH*
A small piece of paper appeared next to the princess and she levitated it in front of her. Her eyes slowly grew bigger as she studied the picture. It took every iota of self-control she had to not just explode into laughter on the spot in front of the entire day court.
‘Thank you to all above,’ Celestia thought to herself, praising whatever good fortune had brought this picture to her. She couldn't wait to show this to Luna. Oh, that human was about to have his life ruined! If there was one thing that Celestia loved more than her little ponies…it was being a pain in the ass to those she cared about.
“Okay, I’m just going to have to stop you right there, Mahi Cabbages,” Celestia interrupted the brown coated pony with a crazy gray mane, "I have just been informed of a very serious and extremely delicate matter that I must attend to. I’ll have Princess Twilight review your statement and get back to you as soon as she can.”
“But..but...my cabbages?”
“Yes, she knows your name.”
And with that, Celestia turned from the court session and dashed out of the chamber, galloping towards her sister’s room. The smile that covered Celestia’s face was enough to send her guards scattering. Some of the seasoned veterans had seen that face before, and they knew that it meant only one thing.
“Goddesses help whoever it is this time...” Hammer Strike said as he instructed a batch of new recruits to the finer points of hoof to hoof combat.
I pulled out a note book and crossed off 'Library' from the list.
“Well, where should I try next? Lets see, I've tried baking, tailoring, and being a librarian, or assistant. Let’s see, I could try weather pony…hmm, no wings, better not. Maybe…" Wow, who knew finding a job in this town would be so hard. It wasn't like the economy was bad.
I stopped in front of Ponyville City Hall and looked at a bulletin board that was displaying various papers and posters.
'Lost dog.'
'Found dog.'
'Roommate wanted.'
One poster caught my eye. It was printed on very old looking parchment and screamed my level of epic.
‘Want to go on adventures?’
“Yes, please!”
‘Need assistance on a journey for lost riches.’
“I do like riches. And Journey.”
‘Come to the Town Hall meeting room on the 23rd to begin the interview process.’
“Well I guess I could give that a shot,” I shrugged and wrote down the information from the poster. Maybe, instead of looking for a permanent job, I should focus on just quick jobs that pay on the spot. Like a contractor. Hell yeah! PMC!
I walked back through the town of Ponville towards my house. I had a few hours till dinner, so why not get a little more work down on the home before settling down for the night.
Luna was crying.
"Sister, this cannot be real."
Her face was covered in tears as she looked at the photo again. The human. That human, that had stared death in the eye and spat in its face numerous times. The human that had saved Canterlot and Equestria not once, not twice, but three times...
Was posed on a podium in a dress.
Luna had died laughing so hard. Celestia had joined in, too, and both of them were hugging each other to try and stop from rolling of the younger sister’s bed.
“It is. I think Twilight sent it, because I got it from Spike’s letter system.”
“This-" Another wave of laughter cut the Princess of the Night off, “This is the single greatest thing I have ever seen. We shall have this commissioned by an artist to be painted on a massive canvas and it shall decorate my private study.”
“Only if I can have one for my room!” Celestia added before the two exploded into laughter again and a new wave of tears began.
I finished hanging up the last board to complete the first room of the second story of my house. Only two rooms left and then the roof and I would be all set. Then I could have Rarity help me with decorating the interior. I was thinking something cozy for most of the house, but I wanted to specifically design one room, the basement. That would be my workshop.
“Speaking of finishing touches,” I walked down to the first floor and over to a loose panel in the wall. From inside the wall, I removed the scroll that had the spell I was working on and read through it. The rune was nearly completed and now I had to begin collecting the magical ingredients to power the it.
It was a short list, six items on it:
'Magic reflector pool water'
'Water Dragon Tears'
'Blood from Ancients lost...'
'Celestial Stone of Life'
'Scale of a Guardian'
'Alicorn Feather'
That all seemed simple enough.
Yeah, right!
The thing was, I was at an impasse: I couldn't go to the library and do research on any of these things, or Twilight would get suspicious. Then she would start doing all that stuff she did…snooping around my house and stuff, and then she might be able to trace my magic to the rune in the Everfree Forest. And I didn't’t need her knowing about my ‘special project’. That was for me and me alone.
Now how to find these magical items without alerting anypony? That was the real question.
“A little to the left. Now up. Perfect. Thank you for your help, Flash,” Celestia held back another wave of giggles that had risen in her throat. The new pegasus lieutenant was holding the large painting that the princess had commissioned of the feared human warrior wearing a frilly pink and blue dress. And it was worth every bit she had paid for it.
“Of course, Your Highness. Will, um...will that be all?” Flash Sentry was still relatively new to his job, but this, this seemed kind of odd. He hadn't met the human yet, but he didn't think he ran around in dresses like this. He had been told by more seasoned guards that he usually wore golden armor or a duster with armor crafted into the design.
“Yes, Lieutenant that will…” Another fit of giggles escaped from the Princess’, “All. Please, carry on with your duties.”
Flash Sentry bowed and walked away, confusion written all over his face. Maybe he should write to his new friend Twilight Sparkle about this.
I stood outside of Town Hall waiting for the next pony to come out. There had only been one in front of me, so I was trying to wait patiently.
I was failing.
I tapped my boot against the ground and stared at the apple cart across the street. Applejack and Applebloom were managing the sales today. And I may or may not have been levitating apples when Applejack had her back turned, spinning them around and making shapes while Applebloom watched in awe. She would then grab Applejack and force her to turn around and look, but suddenly the animated apples would stop and Applejack would be staring at a pile of apples.
I was having a great time. I laughed as Applejack turned around for the sixth time to only stare blankly at a pile of red delicious. I let out a chuckle from across the street as she glared at Applebloom.
“That’s pretty funny. I like it.” A rough female voice said from behind me.
I turned around.
“Yeah, I thought so, too. I got bored waiting on whoever was doing these interviews…” My voice slowly tapered down to a whisper as I was staring at a tan pony with a multicolored gray scale mane and tail. She wore a dark green shirt and a tan pith helmet.
“Daring Do?”
“Yup. That’s me,” She said, smiling and rubbing a hoof on her chest.
“But…but… your books seemed so...unreal,” I stuttered out.
“Yeah, I could say the same about an alien from another universe coming to the rescue of our world, using ungodly amounts of magic and enchanted weapons that seem to break everything around them,” Daring Doo smiled at me and started to walk back into the town hall. “I believe that’s one zip, point Miss Do.”
“Well, yeah… but I don’t have a book.”
“Yes you do!” Lyra said, popping up next to me, “Twilight and I finished the first book a while ago.”
“Thanks, Lyra,” I said through gritted teeth as Daring Do snickered into her hoof.
“Oh, shut it,” I snapped.
“Okay, follow me in here and we can begin the interview.”
I followed the pegasus into the town hall, entering a small office to the left. Daring Do took a seat behind a small desk and motioned for me to take the one opposite her. I suddenly wished I had worn some of my old armor rather than simple jeans, a tan long-sleeved shirt, my belt with knife and Beretta pistol, and my boots.
“So, where to start with you...” Daring Do placed her hooves on the table and looked me over. She was silent as she just stared at me. I tugged at my collar and looked around, suddenly finding it very hot in the office. It wasn't even close to fall yet. There should be air conditioning or something in here.
Daring Do suddenly leapt back from the desk, a whip clasped in her mouth. She swung lashed out with it, attempting to strike me with its frayed tip. I rolled to the side, knocking my chair out of the way. I pulled my legs back and kicked, connecting with the front of the desk, sending it flying backwards right at the attacking pegasus. Daring leapt over the incoming furniture and stood in front of me, a smile spread across her face. She dropped the whip and stuck out her hoof.
“Well, human, you certainly know how to fight, so I think we can move onto the real interview.”
I stood up, confused, but perfectly fine.
“Um, what was that about?”
“If I’m going to have an assistant, then I want she/he/it to be a good assistant,” She smiled, pushing the desk back into place.
“So, tell me human,” She picked up a piece of paper that had read 'Honored Service Mental Evaluation' across the top,
“Do you like exploring dungeons?”
My smile would have broken off my face if it could have gotten any bigger.
“You could say I’m a master of dungeon diving.”
Yes, Skyrim counted.
I was seated in a sky chariot that belonged to Daring Do, currently about a thousand feet off the ground. The chariot was actually quite impressive. It had a roof and sides, sealing it off from the wind and other elements outside. It had plenty of space for any loot we would come across and space for the two hired ponies pulling the carriage to stay in while we searched the deep dungeon.
Daring was sitting across from me, her eyes glued to a map depicting different ancient dungeons and crypts.
“So, what danger are we going to be facing?” I asked, running my knife against the whetstone in my hand. The knife, Bad Bertha, actually cut away the top layer of the stone. Oops, magical blade. Derp.
“Danger?” Daring looked up at me, “What makes you think this will be dangerous?”
I gave her a deadpan stare, “You hire me, killer of a Queen, the destroyer of the Nightmare, one of two people in history to have taken on a full-grown Ursa Major and not be torn to pieces, best of the Equestrian Honor Guard, arguably the most skilled fighter in Equestria, to accompany you on a mysterious adventure to some dungeon. But, not before testing both my reaction time and fighting abilities in the interview. Plus, said interview was solely focused on how good I was at fighting and what weapons I could easily carry on my person. All the signs point to 'Dangerous Mission Ahead.”
Daring Do gave me a nervous smile and forced a laugh, “Danger? There isn't any danger. It should be perfectly safe.”
"Bull." I added, “Besides, even if it was dangerous,” I leaned into the pegasus so I was almost whispering in her ear, “I'd still go.”
“Really?”, Daring perked up, surprised.
“Yeah,” I said, kicking my feet up and sheathing my knife on my belt, “More fun when it’s dangerous.”
“Well, in that case,” Daring Do opened an old notebook and flipped through the pages, “My research says that this dungeon is an ancient burial place for an evil enchantress who horded tons of riches in it and lured unsuspecting ponies to their doom in its depths. They were forced to become her slaves for life by long-forbidden magic.”
I smiled and leaned back against the seat in the chariot. I pulled my M1014A shotgun and began slowly loading the weapon with plastic red shells.
“Sounds like we’re going to have,” I pulled the charging handle back, locking the first shell into the chamber, “A real blast.”
****Many more bad puns later****
After I had finished loading my guns (both Glocks w/silencers attached, shotgun, and M16), I laid back to catch some sleep before we landed at the dungeon at the farthest corner of Equestria. We were traveling to the faraway land known as Zabranjen (Or, as some dude said it's commonly called, Ponyrim). It was the rim of the ponies' known land, thus the name. It's basically as far north as anyone's ever gone, even past the Crystal Empire. I was jolted awake as the carriage touched down on the rocky frozen earth. I got up and stretched. I put both Glocks into the double back holster on my belt, then slipped my Berretta into my thigh holster. My M16 was slung across my back besides the Element of Protection. And lastly, I gripped the shotgun in my hands and jumped down from the sky carriage.
“Wow. I should have brought something warmer to wear.”
I had broken out the old duster for this dungeon dive. It swirled around me as the wind tugged at the cloth, the chilly breeze cutting through the armored fabric like a knife. The golden helmet perched on top of my noggin' did nothing to protect me from the cold, either. My checks stung as the icy wind hit me.
“Yeah. I guess I forgot to mention that the weather is pretty cold up here,” Daring Do said with a smile as icicles began forming on my nose.
We left the warmth of the sky chariot and headed towards the massive stone arches. They reached up into the sky from the snow-covered ground, as if to touch the clouds. Intricate designs covered the stones that made up the arches. Beyond the arches rested the entrance to the dungeon-turned crypt. An iron bar door was the first sign that something sinister laid behind it. The iron bar door was put in front of a heavy looking wooden door.
“Well, someone wants us to stay out,” I stated the obvious, running my hand over the frozen iron.
“Alright, let the master do her work,” Daring Doo said, giving me a cocky smile and pulling out a small pouch containing several tension wrenches and a few picks, both of varying thicknesses. I rolled my eyes and pushed Daring aside with my hip. I shifted my shotgun in my right hand and aimed my gauntlet at the lock mechanism. I charged up a spell as the magical sound of chiming filled the air and a blood red aurora surrounded my hand. A small beam of light entered the lock as I focused the magic. I could hear it pinging around inside, bouncing off the lock's mechanisms.
I was shortly rewarded by a faint ‘pop’.
*Boom*
The lock exploded outwards, tearing itself inside out, raining bits of metal all around us.
“Ladies first.”
Now I was the one smirking and cleaning the dirt from under my fingernails on my chest.
“Show-off,” Daring Do muttered while trotting up to the wooden door. It was old. Incredibly old. Cast iron hinges held the rotting, iron-bound wood in place. I reached over Daring’s head and plucked the top pin from the hinge while Daring did the same to the bottom one. With both of them removed, I stepped up and placed my gauntlet against the wood. I blasted the door into the dark depths of the dungeon bellow.
The door flew off its hinges into the dark, musty confines of the dungeon entrance. After the loud crash of the door striking the stone floor died down, Daring Do looked up at me and rolled her eyes, berating me, "Really? We could have just picked it up and put it aside, or just pushed it over!"
"Oh, come on, where's the fun in that?" I shrugged and peered into the dungeon. The sudden silence that settled over us was deafening. I tightened my grip on the shotgun in my hands.
"So, who wants to be the first to go down the scary tunnel of doom first?"
Daring just looked at me and pointed at the stone steps leading from the entrance, down into the infinite blackness of the cave-like graveyard.
"Okay, okay. I’m going, sheesh," I brought the shotgun up to my shoulder and took my first step into the dungeon.
The darkness was insane. The torches covering the moss incrusted walls weren't lit like they always were in Skyrim, so there was the problem of sight. I charged up magic into my gauntlet and raised my hand up, and releasing the magic directly into the air above my head. I was rewarded with a floating red magelight that lit up the area around me, illuminating ahead of me for at least sixty feet. I waved Daring inside and we moved into the crypt, the hovering light of my magic illuminating our progress into the labyrinth of stone tunnels and crumbling walls.
Clink
Clink
Clink
Clink
“Okay. Listen. You’ve been going through every clay pot, bowel, urn, and wooden chest in here. And what have you found?” Daring Do said from behind me. I currently had my hand shoved into another one of the many clay urns that covered in the insides of the dungeon.
“Well, other than about 300 bits and some diamonds...”
“Which you could find in the dirt in the gem fields outside of Ponyville.” Daring Do mumbled.
“Just believe me when I say it’s a force of habit,” I grunted and pulled my hand out, finding a fist full of the small gold coins. I deposited them into the pouch on my waist and continued down the corridor.
“You know what’s funny, Do,” I said while stepping around a corner and looking down the hallway, “Is that this is supposed to be a burial place, but I have yet to see a body, dead or alive. No skeletons. No zombies. Not even bits of armor or bones anywhere.”
Daring Do suddenly stopped and stared at me. “What did you just say?”
“That we haven’t seen anything?”
“No.”
“This is a tomb without any bones or bodies?”
“Look around you,” Daring’s eyes traveled the walls all around us in the corridor. The walls were covered in long hollow slits.
I looked closer. Dust and scraps of cloth covered the inside of the hollowed out nooks in the walls. They looked like…
“These are all for bodies to rest on.” I gulped and looked all around, my eyes quickly passing over the hundreds of empty death beds lining the walls. And each and every one of them was empty.
“Dude, I think we better get to the center chamber quickly, and then get the buck out,” Daring Do moved past me and further down the corridor.
“You’ll get no complaints out of me,” I jogged after her, my eyes still scanning the area, shotgun at the ready. The corridors twisted and dropped lower and lower into the earth as we followed Daring’s ‘explorer’s gut’.
“Daring Do, what’s at the end of this dungeon?” I asked as we passed another section of empty death beds.
“Well, the research said that the Stone of Life was at the center. It’s what would give the evil enchantress the power to keep ponies trapped here forever,” Daring said while peering around another turn in the stone corridor.
My boots crunched on something fragile below them. I bent down and looked at the offending piece. It was a small gold necklace. It had a tiny blue stone in the center. I shrugged and pocketed it. Gotta be worth something. A wave of realization hit me as I went over something Do had said.
“Hey, has that stone ever been called...oh, I dunno, something like Celestial Stone of Life?”
“Actually, yeah, it has,” Do turned around and her eyes narrowed at me. “How did you know that?" She leaned forward menacingly, "Are you a spy?!?"
I gave her my trademark deadpan stare.
"Just kidding, jeez. Anyways, how'd you know that the stone was called that?"
I shifted where I was standing. My thoughts were racing a mile a minute. If I lied, she might catch me and that was never a good idea considering I had no idea on how to get out of here. And she may be the only link I have to finding the other magical artifacts. I couldn't use a library without Twilight growing suspicious…
“Listen, Daring, I’m trying to work on a magic spell. An extremely powerful, complicated spell that requires a rune and six magical artifacts to power the rune itself. And one of them is the Celestial Stone of Life,” I pulled out my small notebook and showed it to her, the list with the six items on it.
Her eyes glanced over the list before looking back at me, “What does the spell do?” She eased up her stare, but kept looking at me, brow raised.
“It was designed to transport the caster over and back extreme distances, vast oceans or massive mountains. But I’m going to try and use it so I can visit my home. My home, in another universe, for one last time.”
“And you would stay there?” the pegasus turned around and began walking towards a huge rock wall that surprisingly wasn’t covered in death beds.
“No. It’s only good for three days, at which point the caster is returned to the rune location. I guess it was designed for diplomats for visiting other nations or something,” I shrugged and followed her towards the wall.
“I know about some of those things,” She walked up to the wall and began it examine it carefully, “And some of these things on the list are priceless. And the only ones in existence.”
She lifted a hoof and began to tap lightly on the wall. Every so often moving her hoof up and down, left to right, making quick light taps against the stone.
“I know, but I just want to see my family. My old friends. Let them know the kid that disappeared is still alive and doing well.” I watched with curiosity as Daring Do made a small X on the center of the wall with her hoof tip.
“Okay, I’ll help you locate these things,” She said matter-of-factly before pulling a small red crystal out of her saddle bag and placing it against the wall on the center of the X. “But I want you to bring me something back from your home. Something that nopony would ever be able to create or duplicate. Something that really screams ‘I’m from a different universe’, as payment for my help,” She smiled and stepped back towards me.
“Deal,” I smiled and stuck out my hand.
“Deal,” She said before shaking my hand with her hoof. She smiled too and then pointed a hoof at the gem, “Now, hit that with a small burst of magic.”
I followed her order and aimed my pointer finger at the gem. I raised my thumb like a hammer on a revolver and dropped it forward.
“Bang,” I said as a small burst of magic leapt from my pointer finger and hit the gem. A brilliant flash of light filled my eyes, but no sound was heard. The light died down and a huge gaping hole was left in the stone. Where a wall had once stood, now only a gaping entrance welcomed us.
My jaw dropped, for the first time in a while.
“See ,you can blow stuff up,” Daring said, not looking at the newly crafted entrance, “And do it quietly.”
I raised my shotgun past her and aimed it at the entrance she had made, “Yeah, and how about that?”
Nearly twenty pair of pale yellow eyes stared at us through the dark hole in the wall.
"Oh."
I squeezed the trigger on the shotgun and jumped forward, a grin plastered on my face as the 00 steel buckshot combat load struck down the first horribly disfigured zombie pony. The zombie ponies were just that, zombies. The flesh that once clung to their bones was turned to a leather substance that just sat on top of the bones and rotted organs beneath them. The pale yellow eyes rested in sunken eye sockets on their long decomposed faces. I could make out bones beneath the skin and random holes throughout their bodies.
I jerked the shotgun around and slammed its butt into one body that was shuffling to close to me. I felt the bones in its head give away, not crunching as one would expect, merely falling away with a wet squish from the swift attack.
The barrel of my shotgun lodged itself into the chest of another zombie and the trigger was pulled. The body rocketed backwards into the wall as the red plastic shell hit the stone floor with a wisp of smoke.
“Daring, keep leading the way! I’ve got this covered!” I yelled above the noise of ancient hooves scrapping along the stone floor and the mumbles and grunts of the zombie ponies as they continued to swarm forward from the hole in the wall.
I blasted a wrapped zombie back with my magic, clearing a path through the small horde. Daring Do leapt over my head and ran through the opening. I fired one more shot into what I think was a head, sending dust and bone fragments in every direction before taking off after the pegasus.
As I cleared the gap in the horde of zombified ponies, something tugged onto my duster. I turned my head while still moving and saw the head of a pony latched onto the tail of my duster. I smiled, muttering, "Not today!" and jerked my Berretta out of its thigh holster firing into the pony’s head, turning it into a pile of dust and dry goop.
“How much further? That was only twenty zombies and we passed hundreds of death beds!” I shouted ahead of me as Daring skidded around a corner and down another never ending hallway.
“It should just be up here! And then we’ll be at the main ceremonial chamber,” Daring Do said as I turned around and shot three times with my Berretta into the slowly growing horde. From every shadow and corner in the dungeon, more and more zombies were forming into the initial horde. What was first only a twenty member horde was now a swarm of over fifty. And they were steadily moving towards us down the long hallway.
“Do, is that the entrance?” I pointed at the other end of the hallway, where a giant black door as wide as the hallway was. It was covered in designs and looked shiny, meaning it was built out of something other than simple stone.
Daring Do jumped into the air and flew ahead of me towards the door. She was fast! She literally left a trail of dust and a faint gray-spectrum blur. She was already examining the door while I was still a hundred yards away.
“YEAH!” She screamed at me from down the hall, adding a disappointing, “BUT I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING STRONG ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH IT!”
“I do, as always,” I smiled and reached into my top-left breast pocket of my armored chest piece, beneath my duster. I drew one slightly glowing purple 5.56 mm round. I slung the shotgun into its place, and taking the M16A2 in my hands and dropped the current mag, putting it away in a pouch with several others. I pulled the charging handle back and slid the round right into the chamber. I pushed the bolt catch, letting islam forward, locking the magic round Twilight made, into the chamber.
I spun around and aimed the weapon down the stone hallway at the oncoming horde of zombies.
“HONORED, THAT’S THE WRONG WAY!” Daring Do yelled at me from beside the door.
“NOPE! YOU MIGHT WANNA MOVE!!!”
I lined up the shot and jumped, turning my entire body down except for my right arm, keeping my gun arm stable and raising my left elbow above my head before squeezing the trigger at the leader of the undead horde.
"WHEEEEEEE!!"
I felt myself fly backwards at an insane speed as the recoil of the magic round sent me hurtling towards the door. I closed my eyes and braced.
*SMASH-THUD*
I felt the pain of impacting the solid door, and then feeling of busting through it and landing flat on my ass on the other side.
I sat up and shook my head. I could see faint stars and tan pegasi flying around my head as I recovered from the hit.
“And that’s how it’s done!” I flopped backwards and Daring Do leapt through the human sized hole in the door. Turns out it was stone, just really shiny stone. Ouch. I was going to feel this one in the morning. Or now...
Daring let out a low whistle, staring at what was beyond the entrance I'd made.
I looked at the carnage I had caused. The bullet had traveled through the zombies in a straight line, with such momentum that it ripped through the ones lined up in front of it without changing direction, killing twenty-three of them easily. The following miniature purple sonic rainboom had utterly obliterated the rest. A long trench could be seen in the wall where the bullet had ricocheted and continued forward. The tri-shaded purple trail was fading, but still visible and stunning.
"Wow..."
“Honored,” Daring Do said, extending a hoof out to me, “I’m glad I picked you to come on this adventure.”
I grasped the presented hoof and let her help me up.
She smiled and trotted away towards a large podium that was standing in the center of the massive room we were now in.
I shook my head once again and then brushed the bits of stone off my shoulders.
“Yeah, this is pretty fun. I forgot how much enjoyed I doing this stuff,” I pulled out a magazine for my rifle and loaded it into the magazine well, then locked a round into the chamber, “Kinda miss doing this.”
“Ta-da!” Daring Do was standing in front of the podium, gesturing to it.
It was made out of some type of shiny, pitch-black stone. It glistened in the red light from my magelight hanging above our heads. And resting on the podium was a stone. It was a near-perfect spherical stone, a little bigger in size than a tennis ball. It was black on the outside, but transparent so that the bright yellow light inside could be seen. It shone like a trapped miniature sun.
“It’s amazing...” I tapered off, reaching my hand out towards the stone. A tan hoof stopped me halfway.
“Honored, if I let you take this...you'd better bring me something good,” She gave me a stern look and removed her hoof.
“I promise you, it will be amazing. You’ll be the only pony with anything like it in Equestria. Something that would be worth a fortune of fortunes.”
She nodded and lowered her hand, stepping back from the podium.
I reached my hand out and closed my gauntlet around the stone. It felt warm to the touch, even through the metal fingers of my gauntlet. I picked the stone up and tucked it into my pocket before a loud crack sounded through the entire room.
I jerked my rifle up to my shoulder and spun around as the lid from a large black coffin blew apart. I hadn’t noticed the black rectangle resting against the wall when we entered, but the blue light coming form it was now making it stand out pretty easily.
“I think we should get ready.”
“For what?”
“The evil enchantress,” I said as a pony stepped out form the coffin. Except something was wrong. She was perfect. No hanging skin. No flesh melting off of her. Her perfectly combed silver mane was draped around her face beautifully. And her dark purple coat was shiny and clean in the dark light of the dungeon. Her horn was emitting a light blue that matched the color of her eyes, her perfect blue eyes that seemed to capture all of my attention. I couldn’t look away.
Wait. Fuck! I couldn’t move!
I tried to squeeze the trigger, but I just couldn’t will myself to move. The pony moved closer and closer towards me, while I remained trapped in her petrifying stare. She got closer and closer.
That's how she trapped them. Those eyes. She lured ponies to their death with the promise of riches, and then her beauty ensnared them. I couldn’t break away from them. I felt the magic crackling off her horn as she got closer and closer.
Suddenly, in my peripheral vision I saw a flash of tan and the enchantment was broken. I let out a deep sigh and shook my head as I ran forward towards Daring Do.
“Thanks Daring!”
Before I knew it, a whip lashed out and caught me across the face. I pulled my hand up and felt the warm sticky feeling of blood across my cheek. Daring Do was standing in front of the dark purple mare, her eyes glazed over in a pale yellow light.
“No,” I whispered.
She'd been too slow, just like I had. Now, she was a slave to the enchantress' will.
She raised the whip again, aiming for my legs.
I jumped, early.
The tip of the whip screamed through the air, thankfully hitting my armored boot.
I could see the tip of the enchantress's glowing horn behind Daring Do’s head.
I pulled my rifle up and licked my lips.
“This will be one for the records. Too bad nobody left living will see it,” I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath as Daring
Do raised her head and pulled her whip back for another swing.
*BANG*
The bullet traveled through the top of Daring Do's hat and punched out the back into the evil enchantress’ horn. It shattered into hundreds of pieces of shiny purple shards, landing all over the ground around her. For a brief moment I saw a flash of pain and what almost looked like relief run across the mare’s face before her light blue eyes locked onto mine.
“Thank you,” Came a whisper from her lips.
I stared at her as she collapsed forward, her body turning gray and then turning slowly into a pile of dust. I ran forward and caught Daring Doo as she swayed and toppled to the side.
“Wha…What happened?” She asked, looking around and then up to me.
“You stopped that evil enchantress from getting a stupid human,” I chuckled and helped Daring Doo to her hooves. “Come on, let’s get the hell out of here.”
“And so then she just kind of crumbled to the ground and turned to dust. It was strange, like all the years just caught up to her once her magic was broken,” I said, explaining to Daring Do what had happened when she went through the 'mindless slave' status.
“Well, I guess that makes us even.”
“For what?" I asked.
“For ruining my hat!” She exclaimed while taking off the pith and examining the clean hole in it.
I broke down laughing at her. Slowly Daring joined in and we laughed together while walking out of the dungeon.
The magical round that had punched through the stone walls, creating a small tunnel in its wake, and basically made a path through the dungeon making a nice, quick exit towards the entrance of the hole in the wall Daring had made. It saved us a good bit of time as we walked out into the old stone dungeon and we passed the wooden door that used to hold the darkness into the dungeon. Sunlight was pouring in from the exit.
I smiled and felt my pocket. One piece down.
Five to go.
“Okay Honored, I’ll help you find these other items,” Daring Do said while looking over the list again, “I mean, I may not personally be able to help you, but I certainly can get you going in the right direction.” She removed a quill and began scratching out information in my notebook on the remaining pieces of magical artifacts.
“I can’t believe I’m helping you get these. These things are amazing. Whatever you bring me back had better something so amazing, so fantastical, that I can't even imagine anyone capable of thinking of something so awesome,” She sighed as she finished writing in my notebook and pushing it back towards me across the table in the sky chariot. We were on our way back to civilization. Daring was a little upset about leaving the dungeon without anything of value.
I looked at her and suddenly I remembered something.
“Daring, for all your help on finding this artifacts, sharing your knowledge and what not, I want you to have these,” I pulled out the small pouch that held all the gems and bits I found scattered in all the urns, "Consider it a down payment for your services."
About three hundred bits and over twenty gems, diamonds, rubies, and other precious stones spilled out and landed across the table. As the chariot banked into the sun, the small pile of riches sparkled in the light, but Daring picked up only one thing, paying no attention to the other pieces of stones and gold.
“Honored...do you know what this is?” She was holding up the small gold necklace with the tiny blue stone in it.
“A necklace?” I said, shrugging while holding the Celestial Stone of Life in my hand and watching the sun in the center glow.
“This is the necklace that belonged to the evil enchantress. It’s the same color as her eyes!” Daring Doo ‘squeed’ in as she stared at the necklace, “This thing is going to be worth some serious bits! I mean, it belonged to the legend of the evil enchantress!”
She smiled and looked up to me, “Good find, my learning apprentice. Maybe there's an explorer in there somewhere.”
“Aww, thanks Do.”
Glad to know I had been helpful anyway. I tucked the stone away and watched as the small town in the distance began to grow larger. That was a good break from the normal days in Ponyville. And I was one step closer to completing my spell.
Aw shit, I forgot about a letter or something… um… AHA!
Dear Princess Celestia and Luna,
I went on an adventure to the Ponyrim with a new friend. I learned that it’s a good idea to sometimes branch out of your normal group of friends and try and make some new ones. I also learned that even if you don’t first succeed in a task, like finding a job, you should never give up. Something is bound to work. Even if it hasn’t worked for me yet, and I still believe that my real job is fighting (hint, hint), I'll keep trying to find a new job in Ponyville that doesn’t involve killing mummy ponies.
Your awesome human,
Honored Service
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FIRST!!
Great chapter. This is getting exciting.
Oh god if shadow went with him to earth..... THE LOLZ!
Argh... Stop prying into his business! I hate it when ponies do that!
Silly princesses. Covert is only loyal to Honered and no1 else. They are basicly giving him his partner in crime back :D. Now he has some backup whenever he goes hunting for the relics.
Leave it to Johnson to find a way to kill things without killing anything.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
oooooo nice
really. an agreement with twilight and spike fucks it up. he should be bitchslapped into the past for that.
i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee270/Asriel16Asi/My%20Little%20Pony%20Friendship%20is%20Magic/Ponyville/EyeSeeWhatYouDidThere.jpg
Hooray! Conflict!
Mmmmm. Whiskey.
the only way to treat the best of friends.... Is like shit
That sounds so overly sweet... eheheww...
Jesus, u fokin srs? xD
Okay, this was an amazing chapter.
That picture was just perfect xD I can imagine when Honored sees it the first time... oh boy...
And that ending? Aaaaaawesooooome!
Hey Honored great story, but could you find a way to put sky back in it she was my favorite
god dammit. Are you fucking kidding me? ug. Also enjoy this pic because I can see you doing this.
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2181086464/h3FFCC45E/
I absolutely love this series! It has the perfect amount everything! Just one question still stands in the forefront of my mind though; will honored find a new love interest or remain alone for the rest of his life? Hopefully not, he seems like the charismatic type that gets all the ladies, or mares in this case.
3576217
...maybeeee
I absolutely love this series. I just sit in my chair clicking the refresh button until it says there's a new chapter up. I do have one question though. Is this a self insert? It doesn't really matter one way or another, but its just been a thought on my mind recently. Anyways, have a good night/day.
3628533
The character is loosely, and i say that in the most broad way possible, on myself. The name, military job, and a few minor details were based on myself, but i have slowly been killing myself off from the character so that Honored Service or Johnson becomes his own person so to speak.
3628533
and the next chapter is sent to my proof reader/editor
3631705 And when, Mr. Tanner Johnson, can we expect the next chapter? If your editor has not returned the chapter yet, I am willing to run a temporary editorship for this chapter, and (time permitting) for future chapters, while using my Grammar Nazi tendancies for good, and not griping...
3718592 I could also theoretically have the next chapter returned by Saturday morning, in essence. I have insomnia and narcolepsy anyways, so my lack of ability to sleep could help....
.... I hate not being able to sleep, I haven't slept in six days for longer than 45 minutes in one sitting....
I need more, I've been waiting for too long, where are you? Please don't tell me you're dead...
3720140 Patience, its coming very soon. i have three chapters written, just waiting to be edited.
3733959
OMFG!
[hype intensifies]
It's mainly that I just happened to think of this story randomly and realized there hasn't been an update for a while. I can wait, but I was just confused.
3733992 i know, i just don't like posting unedited chapters now that they have an editor.
3734054 Ye ye, I understand ;)
Hey Honored, I know these things are annoying but do you know of any editors that would be willing to proofread my story?
Also this is my #1 favorite story
3739831
Shhhheeeeeeeet I'll do it. Send it my way. i might not be the best at finding grammar, but having another pair of eyes wont hurt, ya' know?
WHAT HAPPENED TO SKY i read last one but i really can't remember
4022771 She ded.
http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/images/shows/south-park/clip-thumbnails/season-14/1411/south-park-s14e11c07-were-sorry-16x9.jpg
You failed so hard, it's funny to me.
I'm just giving you a hard time.
NO... just NO, why did you do it Honored? Why did you have to put HIM into the story?
What the hell is your problem?