Hard to Handle
On My Honor
Chapter 11: Hard To Handle
By: Honored Service
Edited by: Spirit of Harmony
I sat on the bench beside the fountain in the middle of the Ponyville marketplace, listening to the soothing sounds of gently splashing water as ponies went about their daily business.
I was waiting for Twilight to come back out of the town hall. I had to repay one last pony for helping me get back to Earth and that last pony was very hard to track down. Well, I knew where she lived, but that wasn’t the problem; I had no clue if she was there or not. Odds were, she wasn’t.
“Damnnit, Daring,” I grumbled as a breeze blew over the fountain, flicking a few droplets of water onto my arm. I brushed off the water with my gauntlet absentmindedly.
I had actually arrived at Daring’s house the day before, but had found over a week’s worth of mail piled up as tall as me on the doorstep.
I stood up as Twilight came walking towards me with a smile on her face.
“Any luck?” I asked as she walked beside me back towards the library.
“Actually, yes!” Twilight said with a grin. “She recently had a payment from her recent job for the Canterlot Museum mailed to a location outside of the Crystal Empire. It was sent to a motel located in a small town called Coltstown,” Twilight informed me as we entered the Library.
“Can you show me?” I asked, pulling out a folded map of the greater Equestrian landscape from my back pocket. Twilight nodded and drew a red circle around a town far into the mountains below the Crystal Empire. Maybe I could make a stop there after dropping of Daring’s gift. I wonder if I would get to be a shiny human like the ponies.
I had a flashback of the incident with the Poison Joke, when I had first arrived here. I had ended up being turning pale, and I sparkled in the light, like...That Which Shall Not Be Named...
Then again, maybe being shiny wasn’t quite my thing.
“What are you doing this time, Honored?” Twilight asked. I could see some form of doubt in her face as she studied me.
“Bringing Daring her reward for helping me get back to Earth,” I said, raising my hands up, trying to look as innocent as possible. “Honest!” Well, that and I figured that if I saw a pony trailing behind me as I traveled through the barren waste lands of the grassy plains between Ponyville and the next town, Qytet, then I would be able to guess who was stalking me.
“Hmm...if you say so” Twilight said, still giving me a distrustful look. “But I want you to report to the princesses what you are doing. I know you know about the handler, but they still want to hear from you.”
“Ugh, fine, Mom,” I said with a roll of my eyes and shrugged my shoulder before snapping my fingers and sighing, “Oh darn, it seems like I don’t have anything to write with. Oh well, guess I’ll just have to do it later,” I said with a smile.
A cough caught my attention as Twilight lowered a scroll and quill in front of me. I frowned, snatching the materials out of the air and taking a seat on the ground, grumbling. I began to scratch out my letter to the Princesses.
Dear Royal Human Keepers, Fun-Destroyers, and whomever else it may concern,
Yo, I’m traveling to Qytet to bring one Miss Daring Do her reward for helping the incredibly sexy and uber-talented human, myself, get back to Earth. I will be traveling via my awesome and just-as-sexy magical carriage of self-propulsion. Please, don’t worry. I’ll only be bringing the minimal supplies as to make sure I do nothing dangerous, reckless, stupid, senseless, or regretful.
Thanks for providing a babysitter handler as to watch my awesomeness should I come under stress from a possible threat, at which point I will use the awesome power of Friendship to solve my problems, as usual.
Your soon-to-be-returning badass,
Honored Service
I nodded and handed the scroll to Spike, who was giggling at the letter. With a quick burst of green flame, the scroll was on its way to Canterlot to be frowned at by the two royal sisters that saw fit to assign me, a grown-ass man, a babysitter.
After the letter was sent and I had bid Twilight and Spike farewell, I walked back to my house to get my travelling gear ready for my journey.
I almost forgot I had told the Princesses I was bringing only minimum supplies. I would have to pick carefully.
A devilish smile played across my lips.
Maybe only three weapons.
Okay, four.
“Oh, not again.” Celestia closed her eyes and rubbed a hoof against her temple. She was getting gray hairs from this kind of stuff.
“Honored?” Luna said while laying a wing across her sister’s back. “What has he done now?”
“Nothing... yet,” Celestia said while floating the scroll over to Luna who grabbed it and began reading over it. “It’s what he will do.”
“It appears that he is just traveling to bring this gift to the adventurous pegasus.”
“But since when does he ever just do what he says?” Celestia said while taking the letter back and reading it over again. Something about it seemed...off.
“Perhaps we need to have faith in him. There is a handler now, watching over him,” Luna said with a confident smile. “I’m sure he is changing for the better.”
“Here. Here is what’s odd,” Celestia placed a hoof tip on the word ‘Friendship’ in the letter. “Why is it capitalized, even though it’s in the middle of the sentence?”
“Probably because it is important to him,” Luna said without the same amount of confidence she had just had.
“No,” Celestia said with a heavy frown and another sigh, “Because it’s a name.”
I reached down and turned the small gas lamp on before stepping down into my basement, the dim, wavering light leading me down the stairs into the main room. I stopped, then snapped my fingers with a pop and a few red and purple sparks, causing several torches around the room to burst into flames. “Hello, my dearies.”
My new toys were all around the room: in boxes, crates, on tables, hanging on the wall, from the ceiling, or just out in the open. Weapons of every shape, purpose, caliber, and era covered nearly every surface of the room. And the space not covered in a shiny weapon, were crates and boxes of ammunition for all the weapons.
I instantly picked up an extra box of .357 ammunition and began to slip the rounds into the slots for them on the belt around my waist. Weapon Number 1, my pistol, was in its holster on the right side of my waist. Weapon Number 2, the Beretta pistol, was still in its shoulder holster, below my left armpit.
I walked over to a large weapons rack that was covered in a variety of rifles. I reached out and swept my hand left and right before settling on the one I wanted to bring with me. I picked up and began to inspect Weapon Number 3, my Beretta M69 civilian-variant semiautomatic rifle. Chambered in .308 Winchester, this baby had the power I needed. It was relatively short for a rifle, and with the bayonet attached to its front it could easily act as both a close quarters and mid-range weapon.
That still left an opening in my small arsenal for a long range weapon. I smiled and reached into one of the large containers under the table, heaving out Weapon Numero 4 and placing it on the table, resting the mammoth rifle on its bipod. I smiled at the giant black rifle with the word ‘Friendship’ carved onto its side, below the large ejection port.
Below ‘Friendship’ was the rifle information.
Barrett
XM109
25x59mm
00017
I grabbed four box magazines for the colossal sniper weapon, placing them into a satchel along with magazines for the M69. I figured, for what I normally carried, these were pretty minimal supplies.
“Okay, food packed in the trunk, along with Friendship. I think we should be good,” I said while walking around the Firebird. Few ponies had seen this beast in action, so it was bound to cause some heads to turn.
I pulled my iPod out of my pocket and looked at it. The stupid thing was acting up lately. It just started to play songs randomly now.
For instance: once, I scared Rainbow Dash so bad, her wings locked up. As she angrily got up and flew away, “My Hero” by Foo Fighters began to play.
And then, I had stopped at Rarity’s house to get some more jeans and shirts made. While I was expecting to just walk in, make the request, and get out, she had insisted I stay and try on loads of outfits. After the fifth or sixth one, “Die, Die, My Darling” by Metallica blasted from my pocket.
Twilight had just summoned me to discuss my plans to manage my horde from the dragon cave. Granted, I was becoming rather bored and the song, “Ain’t No Fun (Waiting Round to be a Millionaire)” by AC/DC sang out from the little device.
I wondered, maybe the thing was beginning to develop a mind of its own.
Nah.
I laughed at the preposterous thought and shook my head before climbing into the low riding muscle car. I reached up and adjusted the new rearview mirror, giving myself a smile and a wink. “Well then, let’s hit the road.”
From the speakers of my car, music rolled out and filled the air. I stared in shock at my iPod that wasn’t even hooked up to the connector cable.
“What the flippity flying feathered fuck?” I said to myself over the loud music coming from the speakers around the car. I wasn’t complaining too much. I did enjoy FFDP.
I twisted the key in the ignition and the car roared to life. I cut the wheel hard to left as I backed out of my carport on the side of my house, then shifted into gear. The engine roared as I plowed down the dirt path heading towards the outskirts of Ponyville.
The bass in the car thumped along to the heavy metal as I hit the cobblestone street of Ponyville. Surprisingly, the uneven stone didn’t really seem to affect the car as I raced down the street. Ponies stared in awe at the car as I zoomed around a turn, wheels screeching along the stone as I came around the street. Rainbow Dash drew up alongside of the car, staring at me with wide eyes. I smiled and rolled the window down.
“Sup, Dash?” I called out as the car shifted gears again, pushing the car at fifty miles per hour.
“Honored, that thing can go that fast?” Rainbow asked in disbelief.
“No,” I said sarcastically. I smirked, feeling pride well up inside my chest. I floored the gas pedal and tore through the straightaway through Ponyville, leaving Rainbow Dash coughing on dust.
“WHHEEEEEEEE!” I squealed out in excitement as I skidded around the final turn and drove the car out onto the wide dirt road leading from Ponyville, heading north towards the nearest town. At Qytet, I would stock up on supplies, then see about fuel for my car. Apparently, larger towns and cities had airship ports in them, and some airships ran on a gasoline-like fuel. It was a stab in the dark if it would work in my car, but hey, it couldn’t hurt to try, right?
As I drove along the road at a calm and steady eighty miles per hour, the thick trees of the Everfree forest slowly vanished from my sight in the rear view mirror and grassy plains began to fill my vision.
After another twenty minutes of driving, I pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned the car off. The music died down and I stepped out of the car before walking around to the trunk, popping the hatch open and pulling out Friendship. I took the magazine out of the weapon and sat on the trunk of the car, propping the large weapon up on my knee. I looked through the scope and slowly began to pan across the horizon.
“Give me something here.” I mumbled out as I scanned for any sign of a follower tailing me out this far. So they were a guard for the Princesses, had magical enchanted armor to change into anypony they wanted. So that was a challenge.
And I needed a challenge.
“What are you doing?” Night Rose said to herself from her hidden position in the tall grassy fields around two hundred meters from the human and his fast carriage machine. He had pulled out one of those ‘weapons’ of his and was sweeping the area back and forth. Night Rose just sat in the grass, her armor having changed into the pegasus Fluttershy, her coat blending better into the tall dry yellow grass. Her mane was covered in long strands of the same grass to hide the bright pink, and Rose had also filled her wings with grass to cover the spot she was laying in from looking barren.
The human continued to watch for any sign of her. He was proving to be quite the challenge to follow and watch over.
Night Rose loved challenges.
“Hmm.” Maybe the handler never even started following me, I thought while standing up and dropping the massive rifle back into the trunk. I clambered back into the car and started up the engine, continuing on my route and quickly accelerating up to 80 mph again.
“So, what music will you play this time?” I asked the iPod sitting in the passenger seat.
“Want some?”
“WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” I screamed and jumped in my seat, my head smashing into the roof of the car. I stared at the iPod, where the voice had come from. A blood red line ran across its screen almost like a heart rate monitor. It spiked and moved up and down like a sound board as the voice spoke again.
“Indeed. I am iPod Touch. Fourth Generation. Serial number eight-nine-seven-six-six-five-one-one-“ That voice. No. God damn it. I could never, ever forget a voice like that. Even though it was an iPod, it had the voice of Microsoft Motherfucking Sam.
“Okay, stop. Hold the phone.” I said.
“I am not an iPhone. I am iPod Touch. Fourth Generation. Serial-“ The voice began to say again.
“Shut it!,” I yelled out slamming on the brakes of the car. “I know who- I mean, what, you are. My question is: Why?”
“Well, after running through the possibilities, I have concluded that, by using your magically-created electricity rather than conventional electricity, my system created an artificial int-“
“In something I can understand,” I said with a frown. Fuck. The last thing I needed right now was my tech to become self-aware to annoy me.
“Magic,” The tiny device stated like it was simple knowledge.
I stared at the iPod, speechless for a moment. “So what are you like?”
“Well, since your magic forced me into existence, I am a part of you. Well, the part of you that thinks rationally, calmly, and without immediate action.”
“So, boring?”
“If that is what it will take you to accept this, yes. I am boring,” The robotic voice said while the line spiked up and down. “Now, I believe that you are supposed to continuing on a tight schedule.”
I rolled my eyes, “Great, just fucking great. Not only do I have hidden babysitter, but now my music is going to try and rationalize things with me.”
“Pardon me for trying to at least give you some idea about myself,” The iPod interjected as I restarted the car and it began to roll down the road once more.
“Okay. Okay. Look, I’m sorry, iPod. Do you have a name?” I asked while making a turn and smiling as I passed by a traveling light blue pony with a silver mane pulling a cart behind her.
“Well my serial number is what I identify with...but you can rename if you wish.”
“No. You’re your own...thing, now, so you can pick your own name.” I looked down at my new-found three-and-a-half ounce passenger.
“Tune. Call me Tune,” The stale robotic voice said while smooth classical music began to pour forth from the speakers of the car.
“Wrong music style, bud.”
It was replaced by music better suited for my taste as my car flew down the road.
“Sister,” Luna said calmly while walking into her sister’s bed chambers, “Do you think that knowing what Honored is doing every minute of every hour of every day could get a little...old?”
“However do you mean Luna?” Celestia asked as she tapped away on the magical tablet the human had given her. It was such an amazing piece of technology for her to have. The possibilities were near endless as she beat her highest level of the game Flappy Bird, forty-seven.
“It seems the reports that we have been getting are..Well, normal. And they have been for the past two weeks. Look, he’s smart, and he knows that somepony is watching him, so now he just isn’t being himself.”
Luna was regretting the decision to have a handler watch over the (normally) reckless human. He just wasn’t being himself anymore. He was being...well, boring.
Celestia let out a sigh and laid the tablet down on her nightstand beside the large bed. “Luna, listen. I know, giving the human a handler makes things really boring for you. I just don’t know what I’d do if something like...that...happened again. And suppose you didn’t come back this time? What would I do then? I don’t want to lose you, not again.”
“But I’m not lost,” Luna said, smiling and walking closer to her sister. “I’m right here, and maybe we should think about the handler situation. I mean, he’s saved our world half a dozen times, and he didn’t need someone to watch his every move then. Why should now be any different?”
“Hmm...you may have a poi–“
*FLASH*
The light that heralded the arrival of a letter interrupted the two alicorns, as a scroll wrapped in a black ribbon appeared beside Celestia.
Celestia snagged the falling letter out of midair, noticing the black rose-shaped seal that it was stamped with and opened it, her eyes scanning over the contents of the letter before groaning and passing the letter off to Luna.
“Or maybe he needs more than just a damned handler,” Celestia breathed out, almost angrily. “I swear to the Creator, if more humans show up, I’m just sending them all as far away as possible! Maybe the moon, if not farther!”
Luna frowned as she read the letter over again.
Princesses,
I am giving my report as I see fit to inform you that the human is being tracked by a group of griffons, minotaurs, and one small all- black airship painted.
“It’s the Black Claw Mercenary Company,” Luna grumbled before continuing with the letter.
I have continued to observe from the distance, and so far no violence had broken up, but a group of griffons have left the airship and are heading to intercept the human’s carriage.
Nothing else to report as of yet,
Major Night Rose
101st Human Handling Brigade
Luna placed the scroll down and stamped. “Great. Now he’s pissed off the largest mercenary company, not just in Equestria, but in the Griffon Kingdom, too!” Luna took a deep breath and gave Celestia a fake smile, “May the Creator have mercy on their souls.”
“I’ll get ready to send the apology letters to their families,” Celestia said with a sigh, pulling down a large box from the top of her shelf next to the next.
Human Related Problems was written in bold letters on its side.
“Oh, cooome ooonn,” I groaned and looked back in the rearview mirror as a slim airship appeared from behind a hill. “What did I do this time?” I stepped on the gas, pushing the needle past the 100 mark.
“Perhaps the approaching airship merely wishes to speak with you?” Tune said in a doubtful voice beside me, cutting off the music.
“Yeah… right,” I said while grinning from ear to ear. Oh man it was time to finally have some…fun? Wait. I bet this was just some elaborate trick by the princesses to see if I could behave. As soon as I pulled out a weapon or made an aggressive move, they would swoop down and I’d be done for. Hmmm...maybe they were the handler? Seems like overkill, but I wouldn't put it past ol’ Celly.
Well, I’ll show them. I can be a good little soldier.
I continued to drive down the road, ignoring the airship.
“So, who put a hit out on this guy?” The minotaur controlling the airship asked. He was a large, dark-blue warrior with numerous scars all over his body. On his back, he had a heavy war hammer held in place by a thick sling. He was the commanding officer of the airship sent from the Black Claw. Spark Feather would have the details on the mission.
“There isn’t one,” said Spark Feather, a silver-haired griffon said while entering the small cabin of the ship. “This mission was put into order by the chief himself.”
The griffon tossed a folder onto the control panel beside the minotaur before flipping through the pages. “Strange that he would send a full attack squad after one...what even is that? Oh, is that the hooman people have been talking about? What do you think, Steel?”
“A human?” The minotaur looked at the file with a picture showing a what looked like a small minotaur wearing armor. “He looks like a calf to me.”
“I don’t know, Steel, but the chief wanted him attacked and then for a report to be delivered after the attack,” The griffon quickly pushed a few buttons on the control panel of the ship and it rocketed forward, trying to gain speed on the dark blue carriage racing along the dirt road.
“Did he happen to say the requested results of the attack?” Steel said with a smile as he adjusted the wheel before him as the distance between the airship and the carriage grew closer.
“Negative.”
“Then kill it is.” Steel slammed a button down and red lights flashed inside the airship. Two lower bay doors opened and a six griffon attack squad dropped out of the airship and hurtled towards the carriage.
“Okay this is getting to be an elaborate test.” I said as I watched the airship get closer and six shapes fall from its belly and then take off towards me, growing closer every second.
“I may retract my previous thought and say that maybe swift course of action is due.”
I snickered as I rounded a turn in the road and checked the map I had spread out across the dashboard, “What was all the stuff earlier about talking?”
A crossbow bolt suddenly impacted the hood of my car with a solid ‘thunk’. I slammed on the brakes and turned the car into a large open field on the left side of the road before shutting the engine off.
“Acta non verba.” Tune said while I scrambled out of the car and ran to the front of the car throwing the hood open and inspecting the engine. The bolt hadn’t gone in far enough to damage the engine itself, just pierce the top of the hood.
I stuck my head into the engine to make sure that my precious gift wasn’t more permanently damaged other than for a new hole in the hood. Satisfied that my car was okay, save for the new hole, I slammed the hood and turned around. I came face to face with six griffons standing around me in a loose semicircle. All of them held a crossbow in one claw, pointing the weapons at my chest.
“You just shot a bolt into my car. So how can I help you?” I asked, my hands slowly making their way to the handles of the pistols in my holsters.
“You are wanted dead or alive by the chief executive of the Black Claw Mercenary Company.” The griffon standing in the middle of the formation said. He had a tuft of blue feathers on his chest and seemed to be looking down at me as he talked.
“Could I please inquire as to what Honored has done to warrant such hostile actions?” Tune’s robotic voice asked from inside of the car.
Blue feathered griffon quickly turned his head and began talking to the griffon standing to his left. They whispered back and forth to each other as I just stood there in front of my car. I looked over to the nearest griffon who was still holding his crossbow leveled at my chest.
“’Sup?” I asked. He merely shrugged his shoulders and continued to give me a deadpanned glare.
“Listen human,” Blue feathers spoke up, seeing his discussion was over, “We were just briefed to come and get you, one way or another.”
I closed my eyes and let a deep chuckle sound out from my throat. It slowly grew in volume until I was outright laughing at the squad of armed mercenaries.
“What’s so funny?!” Blue feathered griffon asked as he gripped his crossbow a little bit tighter in his claw.
“You really have no idea who I am, do you?” The griffons shook their heads all at once. “Perfect.”
Night Rose watched from her hide across the road as the human was confronted by the squad of griffons. They seemed hostile, since they did shot a bolt into his carriage, but the human hadn’t fought back. The princesses had made it seem like that when faced with any situation, he would immediately jump into combat, fighting his way to the solution. But her he was talking to the griffons without any bloodshed.
The disguised Night Guard picked up her quill and began to write down her report on the current situation when a flash of red across the road brought her attention back to the being she was supposed to be watching.
As I stood there, squared off with the griffons, I could feel my old familiar friend adrenaline beginning to pour into my body. I could already feel my senses heightening and the world around me slow as I perceived everything just a little bit faster. I could see the blue feathered griffon’s talon slowly pulling the trigger on the crossbow and I heard the faint ‘twang’ of the tension cord ripping forward, launching the bolt directly at my neck. Before it could, I snapped the metal fingers on my gauntlet.
A thin blood red tendril of magic lashed out from fingertip and caught the wooden bolt midair and snapped the projectile in half. The two pieces landed on either side of me in the dirt. I continued to look at the griffons, but my stance had widened and my right hand clutched the .357 revolver while the left hand was glowing in an aurora of my magic. The magic slowly shifted shapes until it settled into the form of a long strand of magic shaped like a whip, coiling down to the ground beneath me.
“Wrong move.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twG46K1wbLQ
I quickly dodged left, rolling across the ground as a volley of bolts from the crossbows impacted the ground around me as I moved. I had to get away from my car as to stop further harm from coming to it. Once it was in Daring Do’s hooves, she could do whatever she wanted to it. But until then, it was my responsibility.
I came out of my roll and faced the griffons as they loaded fresh bolts into their weapons. I leveled the revolver and pulled the hammer back with my thumb, the metal moving smoothly in my hand as the hammer was cocked back and ready to fire. The blue feathered griffon paused his reloading to watch me. I gave him a crooked grin before lashing my left arm out and whipping my magical whip around his body. I jerked my arm back and the griffon was yanked off his paws before flying towards me. I wrapped my left arm around his neck and pulled him against my body as the next volley of bolts lashed out towards me. All five of them impacted the griffon’s chest, spurts of blood flowed from the griffon as his warm body twitched in my grasp. I dropped the still bleeding body and aimed the pistol once again, the notched sight lining up with the closest griffon’s head.
The hammer fell and struck the primer, sending the .357 slug from the barrel straight into the mercenary’s lower jaw. The bottom part of his beak exploded off his head, the blood flowing from the hole left in his head. He quickly slumped to the ground, dead instantly. The hammer was pulled back and the cylinder rotated a loaded chamber into place.
The four remaining griffon mercenaries watched in horror as their buddy’s body crumbled to the ground. I turned the pistol to the nearest griffon who was still trying to recover from the shock of death and fired another round into his chest. He dropped his crossbow and clutched his chest as his blood began to bubble forth from between his claws. He dropped to the ground to join his fellow companions as his blood leaked forth from his open chest wound.
The three other griffons had recovered and had their crossbows loaded once more with deadly bolts. I quickly threw my gauntlet up and the magical whip grew in thickness till it covered my entire body behind a wall of magic. The bolts crashed against the magical wall and fell to the ground around me. I quickly jumped forward and slammed my gauntlet into the griffon’s face. He staggered backwards as I leveled my revolver at the griffon standing next to me.
I fired the pistol into the griffon, the bullet passing easily through his head. Kicking out my leg, I caught another griffon who was attempting to stab his talons into my neck and sent him spinning backwards. The revolver then found its barrel pushed into the recovering griffon’s neck before a muffled blast blew his neck open and left a sizable exit wound with blood and muscles pouring out the back. The last griffon immediately dropped his crossbow and took to the sky, heading towards the black airship that was still hovering off in the distance.
“Oh I don’t think so.” I quickly holstered my pistol and jumped over the dead bodies leading towards my car. I popped the trunk open and pulled out Friendship. The massive rifle was loaded and ready to go. I walked to the side of the car and placed my arm across the roof before setting the giant rifle on top of my arm. I aimed down the scope of the XM109 and began to steady my breath. The crosshair soon found themselves resting on the back of the retreating griffon.
Steele looked out of the wide window of the cockpit of the airship as the last member of the assault group came hurtling back towards the ship. Spark and Steele had watched the massacre of the mercenaries from the safety of the airship. The last griffon was nearly back to the ship.
“Spark, get the bay doors open now!” Steele yelled. Almost an entire assault squad was destroyed by that… that… human. What was the chief thinking when he sent them after this monster? If he had known that he was this powerful, he would have sent more mercenaries.
Steele could see the horror stuck on the griffon’s face as he neared the ship. It looked like the griffon was about to scream, but suddenly he just vanished. Steele watched as the returning griffon just exploded into a mist of pink with brown feathers and fur.
“What!?!?” Spark yelled and threw himself against the glass of the window. “What happened to him?” He turned to face the dark blue minotaur with a horrid look on his face.
Steele jerked his telescope up and peered through it at the blue carriage on the ground below the airship. He was staring at the human who was sitting behind his carriage with some kind of rectangle looking object pointed directly back at the minotaur. Steele blinked rapidly before watching the human extend one of his arms and wave back at him.
“We need to get out of here now!” Steele yelled back at Spark who quickly ran over to a control panel and began pressing buttons. The airship’s engine began to rumble back to life and the black armored airship began to float away from the deadly creature on the ground.
“Spark, once we get back, I’ll explain to the chief what happened.” Steele said with a sigh. Six of his close friends and fellow mercenaries were dead. And their mission with them.
“So that would be what they meant by violent.” Night Rose said while packing away her simple telescope. She had watched the entire display of violence that the human had performed and was blown away by his efficiency when it came to killing. Anything she had known about him had been blown out of the water by this. She would have to rethink some of her plans if she ever had to stop him. How could she stop something like that?
With a final signature, Night Rose pressed the freshly written scroll against a red ruby and within moments the scroll vanished into thin air, travelling with magical gem dragon fire. Night Rose stopped moving when she noticed that the human she was supposed to be was looking in her direction… with that big weapon of his he used to make that griffon disappear into a pink mist.
Night Rose slowly looked up at the slowly vanishing red trail of dragon fire that had sent the message to the princesses.
“Okay not my best move.” She said as the human continued to watch the fading dragon fire.
After I watched the remains of the griffon topple down to the earth, I turned around to the trunk of my car to put up the huge rifle when a quick flash of red from across the road caught my attention. I aimed the rifle at the road and watched as some red mist floated away from the large field of grass.
I stood there, frozen in my spot, watching for any sign of movement from the grass. But none came.
“Hmm.” Well I've seen stranger.” I shrugged and closed the trunk and then walking around to the front of the car. I climbed into the driver’s seat and looked over at Tune. “Thanks for the music by the way. How do you do that?”
“Well since I was given intelligence by you, I am capable of feeling the nerve impulses and chemical release that your brain goes through. To a degree mind you, so I can run several scenarios in which I play certain music to better improve your mood or help ease the tension. Take your pick.” The red line moved up and down as the robotic voice spoke out to me.
“Well I guess that makes sense.” I sat quietly as I started the car up and drove back out onto the road. “Thanks Tune.”
“Of course sir.”
Hmph. Sounded like a robot butler… but without being to do anything other than play music and run scenarios. So I guess like a robotic DJ/tactician. I could work with that.
We continued to make progress down the road towards Qytet, with our slight diversion out of the way. Damn griffons. And what the fuck did I do to get on the Black Claw’s bad side?
Probably something to do with all the bad guys I’ve stopped.
Or the wild buffoonery.
Yeah. Probably that.
FLASH
“And this would be her report.” Celestia said with a sigh. “Let’s see what the damage is this time.” She pulled the black ribbon wrapped scroll and tugged the seal off. Celestia closed her eyes and prepared herself for the contents. She slowly read over the report before sighing and looking up to Luna who was busy sorting through the ‘Honored did something bad’ funds.
“Well there is good news and bad news.” Celestia said before standing up and stretching out her back legs.
“Lets have the bad news first.” Luna said with a shiver. Damn that human. Damn his spunky attitude and everything he does that seems to piss them off to no end.
“He killed six members of the mercenary company.” Luna quickly looked back to her paperwork and read over the numbers.
“Okay we have enough to cover the grieving costs.”
“No. No. We don’t have too. The good news is that they fought first, and that Honored, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he actually tried to talk to the group of griffons before they attacked him.”
Luna put the quill and Royal Treasury Checks down. “Wait he did what?” She sounded completely surprised.
“Exactly what I said. He talked to them first before one of them fired a crossbow at him.”
“Well then I say his action were justified.” Luna nodded and ripped the paperwork she was working on to shreds. “Now can we get some lunch. I’m famished.”
“Sure. But I think we should ask the CEO of Black Claw why he wanted to try and get Honored… and why he only sent one attack gang after that dangerous human he keeps asking about.”
So that was the report… it was everything that he had expected it to be. Chief Will stood in his office watching out of his massive floor to ceiling at the bustling city of Griflin. His office was located at the top of his company’s building, the Black Claws Mercenary Company, which he helped establish many years ago. Chief Will had sent one of his top mercenary attack gangs after the human.
That human.
All the stories he had heard about the warrior, all the rumors that milled around the mercenary’s down time, pointed to the fact that this soldier of the Equestrian forces would be an invaluable addition to the company.
But just like any new blade, it had to be tested by fire.
And what a test it had been. The report from the two surviving members of attack gang spoke of his impressive power in any combat situation. Faced off with six griffons and slaughtering them all. It was amazing. And Chief Will couldn’t even begin to imagine that all the stories, the legends were true.
Chief Will smiled and turned his massive, muscular body to his desk and picked up a quill.
“Dear Honored Service, -“
I neared the city of Qytet. I could see the rising tops of buildings coming over the road as the city grew in size. “There it is Tune. Qytet.” I smiled and stepped on the gas pedal. The fuel gauge was beginning to dip down to below the quarter mark. Hopefully this long shot on airship gas working in this car would magically work. Then again this is a magical world so I hope so.
But the one thing that was upsetting me the most was that I hadn’t seen my handler yet. That was pissing me off. I thought that I would be able to spot a pony in the middle of nowhere, but yet… they had remained hidden.
OR I wasn’t being followed at all. And I was being cautious for no reason. I shrugged as the Firebird rounded the final bend in the road. Qytet and all of its glory loomed ahead of me. I slowed the car down till it slowed to a stop alongside the road. I feared that maybe the ponies would be slightly freaked out if my car came flying down the road. I stepped out of the car and smiled, today was already starting out as a good day.
I walked towards the outskirts of the large city. I left my larger weapons in the car, which was locked of course, and kept only my pistols strapped to my body. No need to try and scare the entire populace of the city.
I passed into the city, ponies stopping their normal everyday tasks to gawk at me as I strolled through the city streets. I walked right up to a pony who was standing outside of a store displaying dresses and coats in the window.
“Excuse me?”
“Um yes?” The pony said, visibly shaking in fear as I stood over him.
I rolled my eyes at the dark yellow earth pony. You would think that after everything I had done for Equestria, more ponies would be less afraid of me. “Would you happen to know where the airship station is at?” The pony began to shake even more, but slowly raised his hoof, pointing the shaking appendage down the street to the right.
“Thanks.” I said while beginning to walk away. Jeez, it's like they have never seen a six foot tall human before. I stopped and chuckled. That’s right, they haven’t. Ha.
“And do you really think that this fuel will work?” Tune said from my pocket. I reached down and pulled out the small device, rolling my head around.
“I hope so, because if not, then Daring is going to be kind of pissed when I give her a package of gum or something.” I laughed as I continued heading down the street, Tune deciding to play some light travel music. Soothing classical. Even though it wasn’t my favorite, it did make plodding down the sidewalk of the large city easier. “Now where would the station be?”
As if on cue, a large shadow passed over me and I watched as a large airship, easily doubled the size of Fast Skies, slowly lifted into the sky from somewhere off to my right side behind some taller buildings. “Bingo.”
I turned the corner and find a large series of hangers and a building with the name High Heights plastered on the front of it. “That would be the airship station. Now let’s get some fuel. I hope.”
“You won’t get away with this Major Ponrich.” Daring Do spat out at the gray coated pony before her. She was tied down to a chair in her motel room at the edge of Coltstown. She had been sleeping peacefully after tracking down the Crystal Brain that had belonged to an ancient sorcerer for the Crystal Empire. The Princess and Prince had made the request to have another one of the ancient crystal artifacts. Everything had gone smoothly until this night.
She had been jumped in her motel room by the Major and his gang of cronies while she had been sleeping. It’s hard to fight back when you find yourself suddenly wrapped up in a bed sheet, unable to move. Daring cursed herself for being so complacent. She was better than this, and yet her she was, listening to another rant from another one of her numerous cliché enemies. Except this time… nopony knew where she was.
Suddenly Daring Do heard the roar of… well it sounded like a mix between a small train and an airship engine. Every head in the room turned towards the window, where the curtain was drawn and everypony stopped and listened.
“I told you it would work.” A male voice spoke out.
‘No way.’ Daring Do thought to herself. That voice. It could only belong to one being and he was here to save her. She didn’t care how he knew that she needed saving, but here he was. Thank to everything above, Honored was here. Except she didn’t recognize the strange voice he was talking to.
“I told you that the chemical makeup of the fuel was 96.365 percent exact match to the original fuel in the vehicle. If I hadn’t told you that, you wouldn’t have begun the refueling process. You would still be sitting there, too scared to try and break the car.”
“Oh shut it Tune.” Honored spoke again as he walked past the window on the first floor of the motel. “The attendant had said she was in room 109.” There was a pause and Daring Do felt every muscle in her body tense up. “Ah, here it is.”
Daring Do stopped breathing as the human knocked on the door. “Hello Daring Do? Are you in there? I have my gift for you. I know I’m a little late but it took me awhile to get it here. Daring?” She heard the door handle jiggle few times before it went silent again. Daring Do quickly looked around the room and then back at the door.
‘Oh goddesses I hope this works.’
“HONORED! TWELVE, TEN, NINE, EIGHT, FOUR, ONE!” Daring Do shouted as loudly as she could.
The door to the hotel room exploded open and the human rushed into the room, his hands both cradling his strange weapons. One Daring had seen, and a new one that she had never seen before. The first one clutched in his metal hand exploded in a flash of red, sending a bolt of red through the neck of one of the cronies directly in front of the door across the room. The next standing to the right of the bed slumped to the ground, blood leaping out from a wound in his chest. The pony standing at the foot of her bed flipped backwards as two red bolts of Honored’s magic caught him squarely in his barrel. As Honored moved deeper into the room, he swept his arms to the side, both weapons discharging at the same time, hitting the sinister ponies to the left of her bed and the one to Honored’s right in the kitchenette area. The last goon belonging to the Major made a mad dash towards Honored with a sharp knife waving around, but a sharp retort from the black weapon in his right hand blew him backwards onto the floor.
“Not another step creature.” Daring Do gulped as she felt something sharp press against her throat, pricking her skin as she tried to squirm away from the blade that the Major was pressing into her.
“Another one of your friends Daring?” Honored asked as he holstered the weapon that ran of his magic. He kept the new weapon aimed straight at the head of the Major. Daring could only give a faint nod back to the human, accounting on the blade still pressed firmly into her neck.
“Ah. Okay. Close your eyes.” Honored said while quickly jerking his thumb back over the hammer of the revolver and firing a round directly into the Major’s head, right below his slicked back black mane. He crumpled back onto the bed and Daring Do opened her eyes to feel something sticky dripping off her mane. She shuddered at the warm feeling but was grateful as Honored walked over and began to unwrap her from the bed sheet holding her in place.
“Well I think I got here just in time.” Honored said as she loosened herself from the bed sheets now stained red with pony blood. Honored gave her a smile and held her close in a hug. Daring Do was at first confused, but then returned the hug.
“Thanks Honored.”
“No problem Daring. I’m just glad that I got here when I did.” He stood up and looked around the bloody room. “Are you okay? They didn’t hurt you did they?”
“No. you got here just in time.” Daring Do looked at the dead Major, a confident smirk plastered on his face. “Looks like that’s another bad guy dead. Maybe I should hire you to hunt the rest down.”
They both fell into a fit of laughter before Honored looked at her with a frown, “No.”
“So Daring, I knew I had to bring you something back for all your help.” Honored said with a sly smile as he stood up and began walking towards the exit. Daring Do jumped off the bed and carefully maneuvered around the dead bodies. She sighed, no doubt she would have to explain this mess to room service.
“And I brought the only thing that I think would do you justice.” Honored stopped outside of the hotel room and held out his hand. Dangling from it was a set of keys. She looked at them and then back to Honored.
“Keys?” Honored slapped a hand to his face and groaned.
“No, it’s what they go to.” He pointed towards a sleek dark blue carriage that was ponyless.
“What is it?”
“Just trust me.” Honored said and walked over to the carriage before opening the door and getting in. He gestured Daring to follow suit and soon she was sitting inside of the strange carriage beside the human. He placed the keys into a slot for them beside some sort of wheel before turning them. The carriage began to shake and then a mighty roar filled Daring’s ears as Honored turned to her and gave her a wicked grin.
“Is this worth it?” He asked before the car flew down the road and past the exit of the motel, Daring Do screaming in delight the entire time.
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Yey :3
Nice, love it. Although it sucks he didn't keep the car
.... Someone didn't let someone else know that they had a new chapter to proof over for them; and he didn't let another someone else know about it either, from the looks of it...
Oh.
My.
FUCKING.
GOD!
FFDP MOTHERFUCKEEEEEEEERS!!!!!
*extremely manly squeal*
That is so much win right there holy fucking shit xD
This is the best story I've read along with Tinkermane.
4166721
Troubling times for the editor, I can send 13 to you when its finished
Honored service never dissapoints. I've been re-reading the first one and I must say, both you and wolfie have improved exponentially in the writing and editing process. Well done.
4168692
"Tinkermane"
Damn right.
yay and lol a lovey action chapter
"Because it's a name." Is that a National Treasure reference I see before me?
Because if it is you need a high five!
4172142
Someone caught on to my Cage rage.
4175138
I remember when the first two instalments in this series were serious stories. This however...
I want Sky to come back in some messed up and completely illogical way if the story is going so unorthadox