Mayday
The old unicorn stallion glared at Daring Do, his beard stretched out in the wind. He never would listen to anypony, not back at the university and certainly not now.
Daring tried to stare him down in return, a contest she knew she was doomed to lose. “For the last time, I am not letting you come with me. It's too dangerous.”
“You already did, my girl.” He waved a hoof at the sky chariot they rode in. “And after dragging my old bones all this way, I am not going to be left sitting outside the temple and waiting for you to come out. Why, as soon as I...”
Daring groaned. This was going to be hard enough without dragging her uncle along. She should have just flown herself and told him he can keep his chartered sky chariot. Who cared how long a trip it was.
She turned around, ignoring the old coot's continuing tirade, and peered around the two pegasus stallions pulling the chariot. Ahead, she could only see the unending sand dunes of the Saddle Arabian desert. The dust in the hot, dry air stung her eyes, and she strained to see through the heat waves, but she still couldn't see any sign of the Temple of the Sun God.
Her eyes would have teared up, if they weren't desiccated already. For the thousandth time, she wished she had thought to bring along some goggles. Reluctantly, she ducked back into the shelter of the chariot's cab.
“And that's why your mother never...”
“Uncle Pineapple–”
“...bothered to tell you that she and Honey Do hated–”
“Uncle Pineapple!”
He blinked through his thick glasses. “Yes, dear?”
“Are we getting close yet? It's been hours since we entered the desert, and I still don't see any sign of it.”
“Oh. Ah, yes. Let me check.” The old stallion peeled his leather backpack off and rummaged through it.
Daring rolled her eyes as he shoved his entire face into the bag, mumbling something about his compass. She wished yet again that Pineapple could have just told her where the temple was, but the geezer guessed – correctly – that she would have left him back in Canterlot University if she didn't need his help finding the place.
Finally, he pulled his map and navigational gear out of the bag. “Help me hold it flat, Daring.”
She did as he requested, putting two hooves on the edge of the map to keep it from blowing away in the wind. She stared at the yellowed sheet, wishing he had marked the temple's location on it. No such luck – no 'X' to mark the spot on this map.
Pineapple unfolded his dusty wooden-cased compass and stood up on his hind legs, taking his sight readings. “Are you ready, gal?”
Daring grabbed the pencil in her mouth. “Ready,” she mumbled around it.
“Mount Olymphooves, two hundred forty-five point two degrees.”
She scribbled it down.
“Saddle Peak, three hundred ten point five.” He spun around. “Mount Dragonsbane, forty-four point one.”
She scribbled away on the margins of the map.
“Did you get all that?” Pineapple asked, plopping back down to the floor of the chariot.
Daring just pointed her hoof at the notes and tossed him the pencil.
He caught it with his magic. For an old stallion, he still had good reflexes. He used it to scratch at a balding spot in his yellow mane before leaning down and working on the figures.
Again, Daring Do rolled her eyes. Why did he have to insist on doing the navigation? Despite all the glamor and danger she was famous for, her special talent actually was navigation. She could have finished this in half the time.
Finally, Professor Pineapple craned his neck out over the map and plotted another dot at the end of their line, marking their current position.
“So, are we close?” She raised an eyebrow at him.
He rolled up the map and began packing everything back into his pack. “Oh yes. Very close. I believe we should be able to see it before long, and we're perfectly on course.”
He pulled the ties closed on the pack and slipped it onto his back. She couldn't believe he insisted on wearing it the whole time. Didn't he trust her? She wasn't about to dig in his bag and try to discover where the temple was, and besides, it wasn't marked on the map, anyway. He'd just been leading her on by memory of where it was.
Hopefully, his memory was in better shape than his old grey trench coat. He'd been wearing that thing ever since he first mentioned coming with her, even though it had more holes than a doughnut shop and clashed horribly with his dusty brown fur. He claimed it had seen him through a ton of adventures, but she could hardly imagine him on adventures, even when he was younger.
She leaned back against the front wall of the chariot, idly watching the dunes roll by behind them, as she had for much of the trip. She hated this part the most really – the long, boring trip to the beginning of her adventures. At least this time she was going by chariot instead of by balloon or under her own wingpower. It was faster, but her lack of involvement in the transportation left her even more bored. Sometimes, she wished something would just–
The chariot bucked up and to the side from underneath her. She clutched onto the railing with an iron grip. Metal shrieked as it was torn, and the world around her spun.
She looked up to see Pineapple clinging to the railing on the other side. Behind her, the two pegasus stallions pulling the chariot struggled to steady it. Supply boxes poured out of the back, dumping out into the desert sky.
The wind whipped through Daring Do's mane, nearly knocking her hat off. She glanced over the edge to see the dunes growing larger dangerously fast.
The pegusai up front whinnied and struggled, and slowly, the chariot stopped spinning and began to regain its lost altitude.
Daring Do breathed a sigh of relief. That had been close. What even happened? Where had that come from anyw–
Her eyes widened when she saw something glowing bright blue shoot towards the chariot from the ground. “Speed Breeze, Sunbeam,” she called out to the stallions, “I think we've got another–”
Another jolt from the chariot threw her against the wall. She could barely peel herself away from the rail, the chariot spun so fast. She turned to yell at the pegusai again, but Sunbeam was missing. Only a smoking hole remained on the chariot where his harness should have been.
After searching the spinning sky for a moment, she caught a glimpse of a pegasus hurtling away from them. It must have been Sunbeam. At least he was okay.
She had her own problems though. The chariot spun and pivoted through the sky, falling like a rock, even flipping upside down. Speed Breeze strained at his harness. His legs kicked as fast as his beating wings, and sweat poured from him, but the chariot was still out of control and losing altitude fast.
She glanced back toward Pineapple. Terror filled his eyes, and he clung to the railing as if he was trying to strangle it. Behind him, she could see the desert sand, coming up at them all too fast.
She knew what she had to do.
Fighting the massive rotational forces and squinting her eyes against the wind whipping her mane, she forced her way around the edge of the chariot to reach her uncle.
Finally, she made it. She wrapped her hooves around his chest and shouted in his ear, hoping he could hear her through the randomly buffeting wind. “On the count of three, let go!” She tensed he leg muscles and flared her wings, preparing for the jump. “One... two... Three!”
The sudden change of direction almost tore Pineapple out of her grip as she flew free of the chariot. If not for the backpack giving her something to hold on to, she might have lost him.
She glanced down. The ground still rushed up at them, terrifyingly close now. They couldn't be more than a couple hundred feet up.
She gave everything she had into her wings, flapping furiously to bring them up out of their dive. The wind tore past her, and her flight muscles burned at the unaccustomed strain, but she made progress.
She was almost level by the time they first struck the sand.
At the first impact, Pineapple was torn away from her grip, and she cartwheeled away. She tried to steady her flight, but before she could, another dune caught her in the side, knocking the breath out of her.
She bounced up, completely out of control now, and too stunned to do anything about it. She could only watch with short-lived dread as another dune came rushing at her.
As soon as the impact registered, her world started getting dark and fuzzy. She felt hot, and she felt like she might be sick. Warm darkness came in to comfort her.
* * *
Daring Do groaned... or, she would have, if her mouth wasn't full of sand.
She picked herself up, pushing herself out of the sand dune she was half-buried in. She coughed the sand out of her mouth as well as she could, and shook her head to both sides to clear her ears. She took a look around.
She immediately spotted Pineapple, laying face down on the dune maybe a dozen feet away. After watching him for a moment, she could see his chest rising and falling. Good – he was alive.
The chariot and their two pegasus stallions were nowhere to be seen, though. She could only see undulating sand in all directions.
Great. Stranded in the desert. With Uncle Pineapple, of all ponies. She shook her head. Better go wake him up.
After a few grueling steps in the hot, soft sand, Daring Do gave up on it. She fluttered up with her wings and flew over to Pineapple. Even that short flight left her wing muscles aching, though. She must have really overworked them on the way down.
The old pony groaned when she nudged his shoulder, and he spit out his own mouthful of sand. He didn't seem to be injured.
Daring took another look at her surroundings as she waited for Pineapple to recover. Again, all she could see was sand, sand, and more sand. The sun burned lower in the cloudless sky now; it would only be a few hours until sunset, but still, the heat radiating from it baked into her fur. She was already sweating.
“Ugh,” Pineapple said, looking around for himself, “So... what do we do now?”
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Ready to tell me what Daring will do next?
(Of course, I like general feedback and writing advice, too!
)
Well the practice thing would be to assess the situation. Check for injuries. Take an inventory of current supplies. Determine location. If possible make contact with the rest of the squad. But that is about as fun as it sounds.
You said they were close. If I may be as bold to recommend that they landed near the temple. Long walks through the desert are about as fun to read about as inventorying supplies. To bolster the excitement of the story and to explain what knocked Sunbeam out of the air, perhaps there could be a large dig site and camp near by. The camp could belong to Ahuizotl (if I am spelling that right). This will give the story an Indiana Jones/ Tomb Raider/ Uncharted feel to it. Having knocked Daring from the sky they have dispatched lackeys from the camp to search for wreckage and bodes.
Daring's talent is Navigation, right? Then maybe she should try using her compass along with Pineapple's map to find out just where they are.
Also, she should prepare to be betrayed at some point, just in case.
Just wanna say that I love the idea of this, and that the story is great so far.
I'm thinking that she should try to get a higher vantage point before it's dark. Though it wouldn't be nice to her strained wing muscles and it could be dangerous if there's still an anti-air presence around, getting a better look over the dunes could help them navigate and find the temple if they really are close to it. It could also help them find the downed chariot, if it hasn't already been raided by whatever brought it down in the first place. And on that subject, they need to think about defense.
Without the majority of their supplies, setting up a shelter of any kind will be difficult in the middle of a sandy desert. It would be helpful if they could even get their hooves on just one supply box that got lost during the attack. They'll need to find shelter, whether it be in the temple itself or just a tent made out of that raggedy old coat; it gets cold in the desert at night, and whatever brought down their ride might still be around.
Plan of action: Check for injuries. Take an inventory of current supplies. Attempt to locate either the downed chariot and if possible locate the missing Pegasuses of their team as well in a timely fashion. Something shot them down and no doubt it would have sent scouts in order to confirm the body count; Who knows how much of a head start these scouts have had thanks to being knocked out on landing?
When you're out in the field, the only ponies you can depend on are your crew and yourself. Good explorers don't leave their teams to uncertain ends!
Wow... I'm blown away by how in-depth and thought out all the comments are.
This is going to be good!
3326775
Ooh... I hadn't thought of that possibility.
This is why interactive fics are fun! ^.^
3326858
She's always prepared. (Or, she thinks she is.)
3326887
Thanks
3327424
Oh yes. This is working even better than I'd hoped so far!
I expected a lot of the suggestions to be silly or absurd, but they've all been really good quality. It's going to be hard to choose.
(And I think I'll probably incorporate ideas from several of them, actually.)
Me neither.
It's a wonderful feeling, as an author, not knowing what comes next in the story.
3327550
Ah, good point. She does kind of have a duty to make sure the others are okay.
After making sure Pineapple was unhurt, Daring made a quick search for supplies that yields only a rope, some basic food supplies, a water canteen with enough water for two - three days max, a knife, and the map. Everything else has been buried in the dunes. A scan of her surroundings forced her to hurry up in her search and rescue. A massive sandstorm grew closer each second she stood there. She cursed herself for forgetting to bring her goggles. If she had them, she may have been able to ride out the storm in the wreckage of the chariot. That is if she were alone. But Pineapple, Speed Breeze, and Sunbeam were with her and weren't used to surviving in a harsh environment. Thankfully, Speed Breeze and Sunbeam crashed only a short distance from them. Both were alive, but Sunbeam had a broken wing. A thought crossed Daring's mind. The attack had happened on their planned route. Their attackers knew where they would be. She only told three other ponies about this treasure hunt and they stood right in front of her. Who would be willing to betray her? It couldn't be Pineapple, surely her flesh and blood would never do anything to harm her. Her thoughts were interrupted when Pineapple shook her and pointed to the approaching sandstorm. There was no haven in close proximity for them to hide in. She looked at the wreckage around her. Even if she tried, she couldn't make a shelter strong enough to withstand the storm with what they had.
And that's about what I have so far. I would also like to add that the temple should be closer than they think. This is a desert after all, and the shifting sands bury plenty of things over time. I love these kind of stories. You sir, are a genius. I will thoroughly enjoy this.
3330469
Well, I'm mostly only asking what Daring Do should do... not the world around her, but still... thanks. I'll just consider it an idea for what to do next with the story.
and,
The second time I've been called genius in this comment section.
I think it might start going to my head.
I bet it's those darn technological terrors. They shoot anything out of the sky, inflated or not. Meanwhile, I wouldn't put it past Daring to try to construct a crude deflector from whatever salvage she has on hoof.
3340354
3346844 Ever play the game Bloons? There is the Temple of the sun gods on one side and Technological terrors on the other when upgrading super monkeys
3348112
Why, yes I have... and now that you mention it, yeah I remember those.
I like the technological terrors, myself. If you have a bunch of them all lined up near the start, you can fire them all off in quick succession to instantly take out even a swarm of ZOMG blimps. ^.^
I've spent way too much time on that game.
I have one question...Are you still writing it???
~DawnRose~