What Spike saw in the doorway of King Sombra's crystal palace hasn't left his mind. The fear of Twilight abandoning him haunts him through recurrent nightmares. Anxiety taunts him when he's at his most vulnerable, reminding him of all his failures, all his inadequacies, all his wounds.

One night, this fear and anxiety manifests itself in a full-blown nightmare, dragging Spike face-to-face with his greatest fear. What if Twilight never needed Spike in the first place?

Takes place right after the Season Three opener (before Episode Three).

Thanks to RGLloyd for editing.

Now Featured on Equestria Daily!

Now Featured by The Royal Canterlot Library!

Check out the YouTube reading by the awesome Chinchillax!

Check out another YouTube reading by DJ Tazzlez from Hive Radio!

Rated Teen for some dark elements.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 325 )


Fuck me.....


I'll be back later. This... yeah.

~Skeeter The Lurker


Too close to home? :fluttershysad:


Like you wouldn't believe.

Well done.

~Skeeter The Lurker

The feeeeeelssss:raritycry:

If she never needed him in the first place, she would have given him to somepony else after hatching him, or not hatching him at all. I really want to read this story, but I promised myself not to read anymore dark sad fics, in fear of being depressed for 4 days again.

That picture will haunt me to the day I die. :twilightoops:

As for the story, I'll have to read it later, but it looks interesting.


Heh, thank you.

In all honesty, this was a masterpiece. Hits hard, but with a ray of hope.

~Skeeter The Lurker


Well, if it helps, it ends somewhat on a happy note.

And very true. Our worst fears aren't always rational... same with Twilight fearing Celestia would abandon her as a student.


Yeah... the pic, man. I saw it and had to write *something* about it. :twilightoops:

I hope you enjoy it when you read! :twilightsmile:

most sad stories do have a bit of a happy end, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I will get depressed easily from sad stuff in stories. I want to read it, but I don't want to get super depressed again.


You're welcome.

And thanks... that's what I was going for. :twilightsmile:


Oh, I understand! You can read it later, or not read it all, if that's what's best for you. :twilightsmile:

Great story. Hits close to home.

Loved it.:heart: So, heartwarming and sweet!:rainbowkiss:

You sir deserve to be featured in the meantime have a moustache:moustache:

My feels, let me show you them; cause there all over the floor now.

Shit...I am with Skeeter, this hit damn close to home....
I never heard a voice, but there was a feeling, its still there always will be, but you gave spike a light to help guide him, for some the light finds them and others they have to find it for themselves.
Fuck I need some chocolate

Owwww that story hit straight into the feels.:fluttercry:

This was really fantastic though. Almost brought a tear to my eye. The way you handled it was pure gold. As said by other commentators, this really deserves to be featured.

Also props for the happyish ending made me feel slightly better about myself. :twilightsmile:

Congratulations for making a fic that hits so close to home for so many, my friend. I'm honored to be one of your followers. :twilightsmile:



That was frighteningly well written.

Ok, this looks good. Will be reading as soon as I read Dusty's update.

oh aweome another babs story i wonder who she'll ship this time


Remembers blog post


I should get some choclate and a box of tissues before I start this:fluttershbad:

Dang, this was good. Great job. :twilightsmile:

Have a favourite and all my feels. I could be a broken record and say this hit close to home, but instead I think I'll just clarify that harm OCD (the kind Twilight says makes you dangerous in the story) is just another type of OCD and actually makes you less dangerous towards others. The sign that a person has a potential to become dangerous is that they begin listening to the voices and considering them real, separate entities in their heads (this is called schizophrenia). I know this because I suffer from the nastiest kind of OCD there is, and I know all about how to manage it and what I can and can't do about it.


Oh...oh crap man.


This...this terrifyingly felt very real. I...almost cried a couple times. As if I was actually Spike himself.

And...this also...hit me pretty hard to a certain extent as well.:fluttershysad:

For now, this is all I have to say. I might come back in a little while but I'm so horrifyingly speechless, that I think I need to take a break from reading any more fanfictions at the moment. :ajsleepy:

~ Super-Brony12

This is truly a great read. I wish there were more out there, this right here is what I look for in a good story. :pinkiehappy:

A round applause for Bad_Seed_72 for getting featured!



Have some chocolate crunch brownies... :pinkiesmile: And you're exactly right. Some people find the light, and sometimes it comes to them.


Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! Thanks for helping to get it Featured! :raritywink:


Thank you, my friend! I'm honored to be one of your followers as well. :twilightsmile:


Thank you! :moustache:


Hope you enjoy it, my friend! :pinkiehappy:


Agreed... you might need them. :fluttershysad: Hope you like it, though! :raritywink:


Thanks, my friend! :twilightsmile:


Thanks for the like, fav, and follow! I appreciate it and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for sharing your experiences as well! I was aiming more towards schizophrenia with Twilight's questions, but I didn't realize that harm OCD could be what she was hinting at as well. Thank you for that--I understand something better now. :twilightsmile:


Thank you! :pinkiesmile:


*offers you a hug* :fluttershysad:

Well... while I'm glad that the story was moving, I do hope you feel better soon... :pinkiesad2:


Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:


Awww, thanks! Couldn't have done it with help from readers like you! :duck:

Babs, my sister! You have written a great fanfic.

Wait, why did I call you sister?


No fair! Nothing is as epic as bacon jerky! :rainbowlaugh:

fuck now I am hungry...again


Thanks, bro! :ajsmug:

And I have no idea... :rainbowlaugh:

3320897 I dabble in mental illness on the sides of my main studies. And you're welcome for the like and fave. The follow was a combination of this and your other stories. One good story is generally not enough to get me to follow a writer, since I don't know if they'll be able to repeat the act (Harper Lee and J.D.Salinger come to mind). And thank you for being so positive. It's not often people talk about horrible mental illnesses with happy exclamation points.


Maybe we should be siblings.


Ah, I see. And wow, thanks! I'm glad I've written multiple things that you've enjoyed. :twilightsmile:

As for the positive attitude, well, I'm a little "sick" myself, so I try to be upbeat and understanding about that kind of stuff, and not just my own. Like Plato said, we all are fighting a harder battle, right?


I'm liking this idea... :scootangel:


Alright. We shall!

Also, check your messages



On here, Skype, Gmail... ?

3320949 I could figure that much out from how utterly real Spike's voice felt. You can't really understand it if you don't have it. The bargaining, the attempts to throw yourself into other things (like My Little Pony fanfiction...) to distract yourself from it, the shrugging off the concern of others. Little touches like those are what tips you off to the fact that this account isn't based upon research. I wish you as well as you can hope in that struggle.

As to your temperament, you just seem more upbeat than a lot of people I've ever run into. A lot of people would have focused on the fact that I don't insta follow based upon the skill of one story, and gripe. Not thou.

that was a great short story, I don't normally like stories that are less than at least five chapters, but this was good. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: 10/10 moustaches for you.

I've been seeing a small rise in 'OCD/schizo' fics, I wonder why...
Not that I don't like them! I find the well-written ones to be either touching or though-provoking, depending on the voice the character is hearing. A mustache, for the fine wordsmith! :moustache:

3320918 This was my reaction in Walmart when i saw it...



You're absolutely correct in picking up on all those details. Thanks for the well-wishes! I've got some great friends and family, and found a good therapist, so that helps. :twilightsmile:

Well, I write on here because it's fun, it's cathartic, and it helps me refine my skills. I would continue to write regardless of what attention my stories received. I appreciate my followers and the friends I have on here, and I don't think it's wise to yearn for more instead of appreciating what support you do have. Just my opinion, though. :moustache:

I think all of us are taunted by That Voice now and then. I know I am. Have a fave. :twilightsmile:


Wow, 10 mustaches? Thank you! :moustache:


Hmm.. I'm not sure why, either. I'm glad you enjoyed this one! Thank you! :twilightsmile:


:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: That is the best GIF I've seen in a long time... :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

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