Humanity is on the brink of a golden age. Interplanetary travel has allowed mankind to venture beyond our atmosphere with utmost ease and efficiency. We have achieved brilliant technology that allows us to run our automobiles on Hydrogen fuel, biotic implants that allow us to become superhumans, and nanotechnology that can perform the most intricate and swift operations for us. But, have we come this far for nothing? In all manner of impossibility, another Universe, Equestria, penetrates our own cosmos. The former of the two, Equestria, threatens to overlap our own universe, overwritting all of existance as we know it. The Only solution? Well, there is no solution really, but there is Conversion. Conversion allows Humans to live with sanctity, knowing that they are safe from the inevitable rise of Equestria. Of course, the price is your own Humanity, as you must relinquish it in order to become one of them. Many refuse the possibility of it, but they are only delaying the inevitable. This brings us to our main character, Delvin. Delvin is a freelance mercenary and the son of one of the greatest Human innovators of all time. Living in a city dedicated to Human innovation and superiority, becoming an Equestrian was the last thing on his mind. But when coming in contact with a deadly drug, his life takes an unexpected turn down a one way road.
*In my own variation of Blaze's Conversion Bureau universe, Earth is not the dystopia many CB universes entail. Earth is slightly better off than we predict it to be in 50 years, and when the ponies arrive, all manner of hell is released. Although welcomed by the United Earth Government, many still oppose them for their unwelcome arrival. Earth's citizens in turn are more reluctant when faced with Conversion and the harbingers of the supposed apocalypse. This means that the Human Liberation Front has one of the biggest followings ever and there's LOTS OF PONY RACISM. NOBODY LIKES PONIES IN FUTURE EARTH. GET OUT! With that said, Enjoy!*
awsome so far
heh, following this one.
Impressive, sir.
This story is all right. If you could see to hitting enter twice instead of once, that would be fantastic. Seriously, it looks nicer and its more readable than your Giant text wall of fucking text. Probably help avoid further thumbs down too.
Fairly entertaining and the writin aint none too shabby either. Few warnings though, your character is about to hit balls deep sue territory. Throw in some big mental dilemma, or something that makes him more 'human' if you catch my drift. Even if was something he only had as a human. As for the latest chapter, he goes into a coma and his dad ponifies him to save his life, got iit. Freinds visit him in CB, got it. Freinds are, and have been, signed u. To ponify since he got in the coma, Wait, what? I'm sorry, but that's stupid. No offence, everyone has mad bad chocies when writing.
Good work and keep it coming.
I'm liking it thus far, and I agree with Krass, definitely more readable.
Minor gripe:
SENTIENT is aware of surroundings and able to make choices: all animals are sentient, from rats to dogs. Sentient creatures are not considered to be self aware, just aware of the world around them. A goldfish is sentient. But it is not sapient.
SAPIENT is self-aware and able to comprehend identity and existence. Only humans, and some great apes, count as sapient. Sapient creatures are able to pass the mirror test, able (in the case of apes and humans) to use human language and define themselves as individuals, and make rational comments about themselves, others, the world, life, death, and existence itself.
A dog may mourn the death of a person by howling and being depressed, but Koko the gorilla was able to talk (using sign language) about what the death of her kitten Ball meant to her, and express fear at the thought of her own eventual death. That is the difference between sentience, and sapience.
Yeah, I know. Picky. But... words can be powerful, you know?
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Thanks for the advice, however, John signed up the morning of his mission, before he was in the accident. Dennis, being a close friend, visits him but is not getting ponified. It is implied that Dennis was in New York, but heard about the fact that Delvin was in a coma and came back. In the story, Dennis often implies that he is very uncomfortable with ponification, but understands that Delvin is still the same person, albeit a pony. John getting signed up right before the tragedy is merely a coincidence. Yeah, I understand the 'Giant text wall of fucking text' thing now though.
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Now I know the difference.
Daaaaammmm dis be some gouuuuood readen! Now go on and write some moar.
ah the point where the emotions come crashing down, a sign of a good author is that these scenes are included in my opinion at least, great work so far and keep up the good storytelling.
Wow... That is really good, I like it how a normal person gets forcefully converted (with out the PER involved) experience emotions that are not his own and also a nice does of incanity as his world comes crashing down around him. I do say so sir that you get my gold star. Now write some more.
Yay an update. Keep up the good work bro!
The next chapter is in the works. I've unintentionally been elongating the time between them, however. I've hit a couple of roadblocks, and I'm trying to figure out how to make the plot work. I'm just now getting down to business in the story, and up until now it's been pretty straightforward. I want to spend enough time on it to make sure it's right.
Nice chapter, keep up the good work and I hope to see if we will ever see this Veronica character.
Awesome chapter! I really want to see where you're going with this
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Glad you liked it.
I'm really excited to complete this story, and I hope there will be many more chapters to come. I already know that it's going to be extremely long, as I'm still pretty much in the beginning. God, I have a lot to write...
Nice... but why must you give us cliff hangers?
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Sorry about that, but I felt like I needed to get this chapter up. It may be a cliffhanger, but it was a good place to stop. Don't worry, I'm pretty far in the next chapter already, and It's great so far.
Mother of Celestia... Finally got this out. Took me long enough...
Jesus christ. This is turning out good. So keep up the good work brohan.
It was well worth the wait, Cap'n! Keep it up, Ima waiting for moar!
Dis is gettin gud
and yeah, a Sniper Rifle Cutie Mark sounds awesome.....
Ya ever going to update?
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Yeah, sorry about that. School is putting a lot of pressure on me as of now, and It's hard to find time to write this one. Ill update as soon as I can, but for now I'm putting it on hiatus. I was having a hard time deciding whether to leave it as incomplete or put it on hiatus, but I eventually went with the latter. As soon as I have an appropriate to write, I will, but for now I'm dealing with a lot of other things. Anyway, thank you all for reading, and there's definitely going to be another chapter up in the future.