Ch 18 - Full Circle
Diplomacy by Other Means
Full Circle
“When a newly acquired State has been accustomed, as I have said, to live under its own laws and in freedom, there are three methods whereby it may be held. The first is to destroy it; the second, to go and reside there in person; the third, to suffer it to live on under its own laws, subjecting it to a tribute, and entrusting its government to a few of the inhabitants who will keep the rest your friends.”
— N. Marechiavelli, The Princess
Royal Guard Commander Buttercup looked across his office with an expression of confusion mixed with frustration that was the only thing that kept him from breaking out in hysterical laughter. Over the centuries, there had been a least a half-dozen Guard Commanders who had left their post wrapped in a straitjacket, and he was starting to think that was the only way out of the situation he found himself in now.
Standing nervously by one of the chairs was his ‘favorite’ Optio, Pumpernickel, who in this situation was the least weird thing in the room. Little dark dots of nearly healed stitches criss-crossed his entire body along lines shaved into his silky coat, making him look a little like a Nocturne who had been pieced together from corpses and given life in some mad unicorn’s castle. His armor was still absent, since he was theoretically on sick leave until the last of the stitches were removed, and without it he should have seemed smaller in some fashion. Instead he bulked with a commanding presence the young guard had never radiated before, with the other three occupants of the room giving him deferential looks, and darned if Buttercup had not nearly saluted first when the mismatched group had entered the room.
The second weird presence in the room was Pumpernickel’s wife, Hoofmaiden Laminia, who sat in perfect tranquility next to her husband while wrapped in the steel of a Night Guard. There was a distinctive gap allowing for expansion at the bottom of the curvey armor, and Buttercup was starting to think she intended on wearing it every day until she gave birth. Hopefully, she would emerge from her steel shell in the delivery room before the foal emerged, but he was beginning to wonder.
And the third and fourth strange things…
Pumpernickel straightened up at a nod from his superior officer and saluted. “Optio Pumpernickel of the Royal Guard, Night Division, hereby presents two Guard Candidates for inspection by the Commander. Cadet Candidate Radiant Dawn Touching The Mountains With Golden Light, Cadet Candidate Brilliant Lightning Stabbing Through The Clouds To Ignite The Trees, step forward!”
The two big griffons stood up and stepped forward, triggering an instinctive impulse to step back in the Guard Commander that he successfully hid. “We have petitioned the Wingmaster of our aerie for permission to join the Royal Guard of Equestria, and serve the Princesses with honor,” they chorused simultaneously. “Long Live Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”
Commander Buttercup made as if to respond, paused, walked outside his office door and looked around, and then came back inside. “You two are serious, aren’t you?”
“Yes, sir!” The taller female regarded him levelly, blinking her green eyes once in the lamplight that filled the commander’s office. There was a subdued glimmer of gold from one primary feather that matched the smaller male’s wing, and they wore identical archaic golden helms with the night vision enchanted eyepieces pushed up on their foreheads, but other than that, the griffons were naked. Naked clawed leonine paws, naked talons, naked razor-sharp beaks…
The Guard Commander pulled himself away from that line of thought and shook his head. “I thought it was bad when Optio Pumpernickel came back from his mission and reported in. Did you know there are four, yes, four new legal ponies in the Night Guard dedicated to the paperwork caused by the antics of this—” Buttercup considered the extremely nearby positions of the new Cadet Candidates, as well as their supposed diet and changed his next word “—armored idiot?
“And now if I let you two into the Academy, the Griffon Empire will shit a brick, no, a whole street full of bricks. The War Council will scream, the various aeries will all collectively moult on top of me, and that’s not half of what the pegasus clans will say. I’m going to find a big steaming pile of mixed poo on my doorstep every day until you two retire, at the very least. Are you positive your Wingmaster can’t be convinced otherwise?”
Both griffons looked over at Pumpernickel, who shifted uncomfortably before responding. “The Wingmaster’s heir argued until she was blue in the face, and then Gilda sent them here. I tried to talk them out of it, but you know how bad I am at convincing anypony to do anything.”
The commander shot a vicious look at Pumpernickel, before plunking back down at his desk. “Well, it’s your funeral. You two mated?”
“One year and three months.”
“One year and four months, Stabby.”
“I thought we agreed not to count that first month, Dawn.”
Both griffons stiffened to an immediate halt as Pumpernickel cleared his throat. “Sorry, sir. Allergies.”
“Yeah,” muttered Buttercup. “First mares, now this. Next Academy class starts next week, so try not to kill anypony. Next thing you know, the Royal Guard will be letting in Minotaurs like the Municipal Guard. Welcome to the Academy, Cadets. Dismissed.”
One griffon elbowed the other. “That was a joke, Stabby.”
“But I thought the Wingmaster said they were going to have Minotaurs in this class, Dawn. It would certainly make it more interesting.” The male griffon cocked his head at the commander, only to have Pumpernickel clear his throat again.
“Dismissed means get out,” said Pumpernickel, gesturing at the door.
“Beg pardon, Wingmaster,” said Dawn with a deep bow and a curl of one wing.
To her side, Brilliant Lightning duplicated her motion. “As new Cadets, we have much to learn.”
“Then I suggest we start now,” said Pumpernickel, walking out the door. “We’ll start at the bookstore. Once we pick up the thirty or so books you will need to read before class starts, we can get your reading list for class, your quarters picked out, measurements, armor polish, and an introduction to all the other wonderful toys you’re going to learn to hate over the next two years. Then…”
The Commander watched them leave with a growing sense of relief. Both griffons would be under the command of the Academy Commander until graduation, and since that was two years in the future, the possibility of Buttercup’s retirement was looking better and better. Upon his retirement, the Academy Commander was slated to move up into his position, and a very promising Lieutenant Commander of the Night Guards slated to move up to the Academy, and so on, and so forth. It reminded Buttercup of his own early formative years in the Night Guard, which had not been nearly as exciting as Pumpernickel’s, but perhaps with a bit of polish, the young Nocturne could continue to grow, and maybe someday he could be Commander Pumpernickel of the Night Guard.
Commander Buttercup shook his head and laughed at the thought.
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And..... done!
Nicely done. A fantastic story of dark pasts, secrecy, monstrosity, seemingly irreconcilable differences, and, of course, friendship. I loved every moment.
Also, the idea of a griffon named "Stabby" amuses me on more levels than is reasonable.
Thank you for this, Georg. I eagerly look forward to whatever's next for Pumpernickel, Laminia, and this whole wonderful universe.
A wonderful ending. It's always been the nature of the strongest culture to ultimately subsume the weaker and, let's face it, Equestria is stronger in many ways. So, it's inevitable that the young, who want to look forward and be part of the stronger culture, will ultimately seek to serve the Princesses.
As for Pumpernickel? Well, I imagine becoming the commander of the Night Guard and then, ultimately, Chairpony of the Joint Chiefs of Staff will be his fitting punishment for his many mistakes.
3975639
Yaaay, great story!
You know I'd like to have things go the opposite way, why shouldn't the emperor of all Griffs have a Pony bodyguard?
3975818 Because any pony guard to the Emperor would be a slap to the face of all griffons, and would be subjected to a constant daily challenge to his authority and skills by every griffon in the empire. To just survive his job, a guardpony would have to be the meanest, toughest, nastiest, deadly fighter in --- Oh.
Edit: And of course I did it in The Traveling Tutor and the Royal Exam.
3975726 With his record of decisionmaking, I think they'll want to keep him out of any executive positions.
3975696 Probably going to go lightly on them for a while. Much editing assistance I have promised, and little I have done.
Loved this story, thanks for writing it.
Just one final thought, though it's probably irrelevant, since there was a team of Griffons qualifying for the Equestrian Games, and the teams seem to represent equestrian towns, isn't it possible that there might actually be at least one settlement of griffons somewhere in equestia proper? Just fun to think about what kind of relationship these potential equestrian griffons might have with the griffon kingdoms.
Griffons in the Royal Guard? This whole place has gone to the dogs! I mean, the cats! Er, birds? Catbirds? The catbirds!
But seriously, by the time everything shakes out, Lumpy's aerie is going pretty well off given its developing ties to both the Crystal Empire and the Guard in Canterlot.
Great story as always.
I had a real blast reading this story, thank you.
If i had one thing that bugs me, it's the fact it's over. I sure hope there will be much more to come, Pumpernickel and his posse grew on me so much, it's scary.
Great Story. Kind of sad the series seems to be ending. I loved reading about Pumpernickel and his wife. Best of luck with future stories.
3975726 Until the insane mad scientist pony no one paid attention to unleashes his mutagenic plague and ends all sapient life on the planet.
(Ya gotta watch da crazies!)
Awesome story again, this one was one I was hesitant to read and I almost lost my nerve when I started realizing what had happened to Stargazer and her foal. But then Pumpernickel proceed to beat the s**t out of Plummets and Talon. Now those were awesome fights. I love Sunny, she is tied with the CMC and Alicorn Filly Twilight as cutest character in your fics. I'm so glad she survived. I want to see more of Stabby and Dawn's adventures with the Royal Guard.
Oh, and I'm a little disappointed we didn't see more of Blade, he was an interesting character and I wouldn't mind seeing more of him, he would make a good protege for Pumpernickel.
That was awesome. Your command of the tension had me at the edge of my seat.
nice story was wondering who was going to die all the way to the end
5778967
Hmmmmm. That's three chapters in the future. Now where would that put us in the story? The wedding rehearsal perhaps?
Yup. Our little Pumpernickel is all grown up and conquered his own little griffin kingdom now!
Ohey. Their two Griffin friends
Okay, I burst out laughing at that part
D'awww. Aren't they cute together
Well. That was lovely. Now I can finally continue reading 'Exam'
Yay! This was an amazing story, and I loved following pumpernickel through it all!
I'm about to go back where I started and read the not yet completed traveling tutor story. Though I would not be opposed to any more stories in this side of the universe as well!
Great story telling Georg, as always
Have a feeling that in 2 years, just before the griffons graduate, along with all those mares joining in, Buttercup will be announcing his retirement just as the academy commander will be getting used to the idea of not dealing with it all.
and done. another brilliant read, and the end was perfect XD.
7834790 Actually Optio is the rank given to the second in command of a Century (100 soldiers led by a Centurion). The Centurion chooses who holds the rank.
7867816 Actually, I'll confess to having gone to the Roman Army Ranks website and looking through it until I found a rank that looked good and was not something other people would recognize right off.
7867849 I looked it up when I first read through the stories a few months ago. Figured it was something like that what with Luna missing out on a thousand years of military rearrangement making some of the stuff she knows outdated. Didn't want to say anything outright just incase someone came along and knew it without looking it up.
7868304 That much was clear. Sunny said her sister died accidentally during mating season due to a downdraft. I just couldn't remember if it was stated outright if Duke Plummets had something to do with it. Which Lumpy came to the conclusion to in one of the later chapters.
7868331 Right, so that should say Sunny's *mother* died during mating season, and it's implied (but never proven) that Plummets had something to do with it. Like I said, I need to go back and do some retcon.
Edit: Correction. Sunny's mother died shortly before or after her hatching. (I never got specific) Her *older* sister died a couple of years (two maybe?) ago when Duke Plummets showed up. So if she's eight, that's six years with her older sister and her father raising her, then two years with only her father and Stargazer.
7868378 Ahhh. ... So hopefully Plummets just used it as a means of killing Sunny's mother, rather than tried to mate with her and then killed her.
That one griffon did say he tried to mate with everygriffon so...
7868394 I need to be more specific (and write this out in a story bible next time). As above, Sunny's mother died roughly when she was hatched. (Since griffons lay eggs, her mother could have died up to a month or two before the actual birth, which is weird for us mammals to think of) Sunny's *older sister* died about a year plus a little ago, after Sunny had gotten to be good friends with Stargazer, the earth pony mare and Duke Plummets showed up. Timing. I haz it. Not.
Only truly evil griffons rip ponies up!
The awesome ones know swallowing whole is totally hot.
I don't normally read side-stories, but I did pick up this one right after the Diplomat's Daughter. I'm happy to say that I have no regrets about doing so, and I found this story much better of a read than the first of the Traveling Tutor trilogy (I think you suggested this story to me on a comment there, but maybe it was another one you suggested, I don't remember right now). Definitely enjoyed it, and your writing for combat scenes paints a stellar picture that can be followed without much confusion.
I would like to see more of Sunny herself, if that's ever in the cards for your writing. Her character is really easy to get attached to, and there's potential for ideas when she's positioned right in the Crystal Empire, where she might make friends with any young filly trios visiting the Empire with the Elements of Harmony, which may result in her being put in unique positions that she never had the chance to experience when living among her kind, as well as possibly dragged into an adventure of their own.
I'm gonna go get started on the titan you've written to finish Green Grass's story, though. Sometime this week, at least, i spent all night reading this and need a short break.
8714066 Heck, I think about everything is a side-story in mine. I keep stealing NPCs. You may be interested to know that Gilda, Plummets, and Green Grass show up in the AU fic Letters From a Little Princess Monster, with slightly different results to the clawing slash that killed Stargazer in this fic. They're still in deep droppings:
“Knock it off with the ‘Your Highness’ crap, Greenie. I just wanted to—” Gilda gave a low whistle at the sight of the stallion’s clawed back and held up a matching claw to stop him from talking. “Plummets really nailed you, didn’t he?”
“It is not a servant’s place to complain about their treatment,” said Green Grass quietly, although he winced when Gilda scooped up the washcloth and dabbed at his injuries. “I should have dodged faster.”
“Yeah, any slower and you’d be gutted. Good thing you’re so skinny.” Her gentle ministrations slowed and she lowered her voice with a glance at the closed door. “I think I can get you out of here tonight, down to the pony village so you can get stitched up.”
Green Grass turned his head and locked eyes with Gilda’s yellow gaze. “And Stargazer?”
Gilda dunked the washcloth in the reddish water of the bowl again and returned to washing his cuts. “You know I can’t do that. Granddad gave the order. Stargazer stays up here in the aerie.”
Now, now Commander. It could have been much, much worse. Optio Pumpernickel could have presented Cadet Candidate SWIFTKICK TOODABOLS,
or Cadet Candidate Zinda, His Face Black, His Eyes Red.
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That last one... he, uhhhh... he and his elder are... strange to speak with.
i.imgur.com/pF5Sugo_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium
Just remember not to- Ummmm... don't make him mad with out Optio Pumpernickel around.
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...Seriously, don't.
I read "The Traveling Tutor and The Royal Exam" before reading this one and spoiled quite a bit for myself. It was still an enjoyable (and at times, nail biting) ride. Thanks for creating and sharing.