Chapter 7: Body Snatcher
I found myself sprinting away from an overly pissed Princess of the Night, into a section of the castle I have never seen before. Running outside I found myself under an archway, to my right laid a vast blanket of snow that covered what seemed to be a large royal garden that laid alongside a hedge maze. Continuing to run, my instincts told me to go into the maze knowing that she’d possibly never find me in there. But then again my gut feeling reminded me of Celestia’s letter telling me not to leave the castle grounds; and that was just it, where does the castle grounds end? So I kept on running straight knowing that I’d rather be chased by a single angry pony rather than an entire angry mob of horses.
Cold winter winds brushed passed me as I bolted down the remainder of the outside pathway. About thirty yards away from me I could see a large wooden door that led into a completely unknown section of the castle. The sound of an explosion erupting behind me, nearly flung me out of my skin. Chancing a quick glance over my shoulder, I screamed in utter horror at the sight of Princess Luna flying at jet like speeds right towards me. Even from as far as I was I could see her pearly white teeth as she clenched them together in pure rage, her pupils were mere pinpricks and her brows carved deep canyons of anger and rage in her forehead.
Turning away from the fearsome sight, I threw myself through the door and into a gigantic crowd of ponies that were all standing idly by in a massive hallway that could possibly go up against one of New York’s busy streets. Spinning around I saw Luna for a split second as she was about to make her way through the door, right as I slammed it into her face. Right away I pressed my full weight against the door and locked it. “I am so, so sorry!” I shouted through the crack.
Everypony fell silent and I noticed over a hundred pair of eyes all trained on me, including a few guards that were standing about a football field’s length from me. Faintly I could hear Luna groan from behind the door: “You’re going to pay for that, Lee!”
“It was an accident!” I replied. “Maybe next time you shouldn’t go all ape shi–”
Before I could finish my sentence I felt a sudden sense of weightlessness as I took notice that I was now suddenly flying backwards along side the frame of the large wooden door. The world around me now was set in slow-motion, the crowd of over a hundred or so rich ponies eye balled me as I soared through the air like a bird that had broken it’s wing and is now about to make contact with the earth. Still in the air my eyes drifted back towards the now gaping hole in which the door use to stand, now in its place was a very chaotic looking Princess. Her nostrils flared and her legs spread far apart, her wings were erected as bits of sweat dripped from her forehead that was visible under her now vertically flowing mane.
Time picking up its pace again, my back made contact with the red single carpet that stretched from the hall’s entrance to the door off to my far right. Pain shot through my entire body and my head cracked against the floor, the wound in my head flared to life and my vision flashed red as fresh blood seeped out from under the wrag wrapped around it. Damn wound split open again... Goddamnit. My thoughts barely made it out, as my vision begun to swirl. Shit... I must, get away.
As of what just happened finally began to sink into the bystanders minds, late startled cries began to sprout up around me. Rolling onto my side I placed a hand to my chest, only to notice my necklace was once again missing. Gazing upwards I saw fear filled expressions all locked onto me, ponies eyes widen like a deer caught in headlights. Children gazed at me in wonder, as if they have stumbled upon a dead squirrel alongside a busy street. The sound of hooves along marble caught my attention. Turning back I saw Luna approaching me, her face though a lot softer than moments before. Instead she took on more of an apologetic look.
But I didn’t want to take the risk, looking to where I landed I noticed my necklace wasn't too far from where I was. Before Luna could reach me, I lunged towards the necklace and snatched it off the floor. With a screaming headache and a crying back, I flung the necklace back around my neck and dove into the crowd of shocked ponies.
“Le– Mr. Rose!” Luna corrected herself. “Please comeback! I didn’t mean to react the way I did!” She called to me, realizing what she had really done.
Ignoring her I ducked my way through the ocean of wandering eyes, ponies who have lost sight of me returned their attention towards the upset princess. Quickly making my way up the small red carpeted staircase that led to large set of doors, above them held a sign that read “Canterlot Theater”. I found myself in a large nearly pitch black theater, save for the spotlights that were trained on the stage. Eight ponies along with a small green creature in a tuxedo were on the stage dressed in odd clothing, they were exchanging pleasantries with each other while three more ponies who were dressed in some type of business attire spoke to each other quietly.
I limped down the the theater’s center walkway, my vision beginning to be obscured by the amount of blood that was starting seep in my eye and drip down the side of my face due to my head wound. My bandage was completely ruined and now heavy due to the blood, I suddenly felt light headed. I began to lose footing. Oh shit... I thought. I’m going to fucking die... why the fuck did I have to open my mouth like that?! My conscience screamed at me.
“Alright everypony!” Echoed someones voice followed by the conscious echo of a pony clapping their hooves together. “Let’s.... from the.... now were... waita... oh....” Once again the world began to slow down, words began to distort and mix and match with each other. I stumbled like the zombie straight towards the stage, and I don’t remember much after that save for the screams right before I collapsed right in front of everyone.
:[-]:
“Wait a second,” said a young confused girl. “Daddy what happened to the caterpitar?” Grace called over to me from the tomato garden, I placed the last piece of charcoal on the grill and stood up. Turning around I saw Grace looking over at me with that cute yet confused face of her’s.
“What is it, dear?” I asked while I took off my gloves and placed them on the stand beside the grill.
“The caterpitar,” She said even though she meant say “caterpillar”.
I stifled a laugh and made my way towards her. “What do you mean?” I took a knee beside her.
“Right here,” she said. “I was playing with him yesterday... but now he’s gone, where did he go?”
The look on her face forced a chuckle out of me, I shook my head and smiled. “I dunno, maybe he got hungry and went to get something to eat.” I replied but this didn’t seem to put a stop to her investigation.
“Can you help me look for him?” She asked me.
Taking a quick glance back towards the grill I thought: why the Hell not, dinner can wait a few minutes. “Sure,” I returned to her. “Where did you last see him?”
It didn’t take long to find the caterpillar, matter of fact when we did Grace got upset, turns out overnight the little fella made himself a cocoon to sleep in. “Aw...” Grace pouted as she sat back onto the dirt. “What do you mean he’s sleepin’?” She asked for the fourth time.
“I told you, honey,” I got up onto both feet and began making my way back towards the grill. “He needs some rest for a little while, maybe then you two can play.” I took the lid off the grill and reached for the box of matches on the small table to my left. Striking the match a few times on the box I began to to look over my shoulder asking Grace: “Do you want cheese on your––”
Suddenly I stopped, the air that was once in my lungs was instantly sucked out by an unknown vacuum. The world was frozen in time, Grace was gone along with the rest of my backyard. Instead all that was left was this eerie silence, I stood there confused completely knocked off course by this complete change of environment. While I stood there, the gears in my head began to turn and I came to realization that I have once again been played for a fool. My own conscience tricked me yet again into believing that I was home and all that has happened over the past day and a half was all a dream.
My fists began to clench in anger while the nails on the tips of my fingers dug into my palms, ignoring the pain I clenched my teeth just to hold back the scream I wanted to release. Unable to resist any longer I released an incoherent cry into the dark void that succumbed my make believe home. As my scream echoed throughout this dark plain of existence a light, like the beam from a helicopter’s search light, sliced through the darkness like a hot knife through butter on Thanksgiving.
The dark that surrounded me began to bubble and hiss like boiling water, I fell silent. My arm shot up and shielded my eyes from this blinding ray of light that just suddenly appeared out of nowhere. The black muck that was sizzling like bacon, released this blood curdling cry that sounded similar to mine. My gut tightened and I jolted forward away from the darkness. What the fuck?! I thought as I stumbled towards the light. What the Hell is going on?!
“Come on, Lee,” said a deep calm voice that instantly set me at ease. I glanced back towards the light in which the voice came, “Take my hand.” The voice said and through the light came the unmistakable silhouette of a human hand. “He is coming...” Wondering what this voice was saying I looked to the darkness and saw the figure of a beast rising from the shadows.
My heart began to race and I ran towards the light, “Come on, Lee.” The voice began to drift away becoming distant.
“NO!” I shouted as I took a quick look over my shoulder, thick black tendrils shot out of the dark. I glanced towards the fading hand, lunging forward I reached for it.
“Don’t fear the reaper...”
:[-]:
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” I flung up into a sitting position the covers that were once on me, flew off of my chest and crumpled to the floor. My head darted left to right, beside me laid only Princess Luna, her eyes wide and she was leaning towards me her left hoof on my lap. She appeared to be speaking to me, but I couldn’t understand her due to the ringing in my ears. Sweat poured down the side of my head in large beads. My head felt as if three large screws were being jammed into my skull while my vision blurred with every random strike of intense pain, I felt as if I was going to vomit.
Matter of fact, that’s exactly what happened, sick nasty fluids erupted out of my gut and up my throat. The vomit splashed all over the left side of the bed, nearly striking the night time princess who shielded herself from the warm purplish red liquid that now turned the once white sheets into nasty smelling purple. Feeling slightly better I collapsed back onto my bed; a small amount of drool seeping out of the corners of my mouth.
“Lee...” I faintly heard the disgusted voice of Luna. “Is.... alright...” Her voice faded in and out of existence.
“I...” I tried to speak but my voice was hoarse and my throat felt of sand paper.
A small shimmer followed by a flash of light, I took a peek and noticed the vomit covered sheets were gone and was replaced by some clean sheets. “Lee... going... a... spell...”
Spell... huh?
A blue light enveloped my body, I felt a sudden sense of false reality as if I was in yet another dream. I could see dark colors along the lines of purple and blue wrap around my body. I think I’m tripping balls! I screamed in my mind. Before I knew it my body relaxed, the intense pain that was hammering my brain eased. Not vanished but chilled just a small bit, only enough to allow myself to ignore it. The ringing in my ears slowly began to fade and I was finally able to hear what the Princess was saying.
“I’m sorry,” She said her voice now full of guilt, “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did back there, twas childish and immature.” Twas? “All of this was my fault, I shouldn’t have hurt–”
“Ah quit your blubbering, you sound like my wife when she fucks up the laundry...” I groaned my voice sounded like an old dried out man. “Worse than that,” I cleared my throat. “You sound like Grace when she thinks she’s in trouble...” I once again pushed myself up with one arm, slowly though making sure not to upset my stomach again I rested my left hand on my forehead.
“Excuse me?” Luna glanced at me, her head tilted... adorably? To one side.
“I just hate it when people claim it’s their own fault when it actually isn’t...” I winced with nearly every word, despite Luna doing some of that spooky voodoo shit on me. It seems that it wasn’t doing as nearly as good as I thought it was at suppressing the pain.
“What are you talking about?” Luna jolted back. “I was the one who blasted you through a door!” Luna tried to explain. “It was my fault that I acted such a way in front of my very own su–”
I silenced her with a wave of my hand, not only because she was kind of right, but mostly because she was making my headache worse. “On that aspect yes, that was entirely your fault. But then again you were only acting that way because of me,” I jammed my thumb into my chest. “I was the one who had you woken up earlier than usual, I was the one who called you a bitch. So no it’s not your fault, you were already angry and I just happened to give you that little extra push.” I explained and took my other hand off my forehead.
Luna fell silent for a few moments. “I still apologize for blasting you across the theater hallway...”
“That I can say was over the top!” I laid back once again and waving a finger in the air.
Silence fell upon us again for nearly a couple minutes, finally I decided to break it. “So... how long have I been out...”
“Not long...” Luna responded.
“Well... that doesn’t answer my question.” I rolled my head over on the pillow to look at her, she seemed to be sitting in some type of chair. Which obviously wasn’t made for her type of build, Luna sat there gazing at her hooves.
“About two hours, after Twilight and her sister in law, Cadence, teleported you straight to here. Word reached my sister and she–”
“Wait what? Who found me...? And Celestia? God... Goddammit!” I pounded my right fist on the bed.
“What’s wrong?” Luna looked confused again.
“I didn’t think Sunbutt would be back for at least another day...” I groaned and covered my eyes under my breath I said: “I can’t fucking wait to get out of here.”
Luna snickered. “What did you just call her?”
“Who?” I glanced over again.
“Tia, what did you call her?” Luna held her left hoof just above her mouth, trying to keep herself from laughing.
“Sunbutt, why do you care?” I asked.
Just by looking at her I could see that Luna was having trouble holding back her childish laugh. “Of all the years, I have never heard the phrase ‘Sunbutt.’”
“Seriously?” I gawked. “It’s literally the easiest insult that there is, she has a sun on her ass! Who wouldn’t think of that?” Luna couldn’t hold it, she released a girlish laugh which was rather contagious because seconds later I found myself laughing at the playground nickname too. We laughed with each other for nearly two minutes over something so small and childish, no matter how immature it seemed... it felt good.
It reminded me of the day I tried to teach Grace how to bake a cake a few days before her eighth birthday. Of course, for ones first time there will always be mistakes. I remember when she took the cake mixer to the batter. At the time I wasn’t even looking though I should’ve, and since she wasn’t holding the mixer right, batter was flung across the room completely redecorating it. And when I went to tell her what she did was wrong, she scooped a small amount on her finger and whipped it on my nose and asked. “Did I do good daddy?” Of course she knew the answer and began to giggle, seconds later I found myself joining in with her. As a few minutes ticked by her mother walked in with the groceries, and like a smart father I scooped Grace up and locked ourselves in the bathroom and waited for her mother’s anger to wear off.
After nearly three minutes of giggling over the stupid name I gazed up at the ceiling, losing myself to the distant memory. While I laid there dreaming, Luna piped up again. “Your family.” She started, my heart nearly stopped. “They’re beautiful, I must say.”
I looked at her. “You’ve seen them?”
She nodded. “In your most recent dreams yes, both of them. Your daughter and your wife, I can see you love them very much.”
“Yes-yes I do.” I stuttered. Where is she going with this?
Luna’s once happy school girl face shifted back into its once depressed riddled state. “I know how you feel, Lee.” She said. “The loneliness, the anger, and sadness. I can sense it all radiating off you right now. The hate filled energy you’ve been absorbing sense your arrival, it’s building.”
“Where are you getting with this?” I asked.
Luna leaned in. “Don’t succumb to your anger, Lee.” She whispered. “I have once walked the path you are on now, and trust me. You’ll gain nothing if you continue like this, I can see in your eyes how much you dislike Celestia and I–”
“What do you mean, I don’t like you?” I cut her off. “Out of everyone here, you’re the only one who has at least tried to help me. Save for earlier.... but that was my faul–”
“Never the less, that changes nothing, Lee... so far from what Celestia and I have seen you’re like a sponge–”
“I know the analogy, magic doesn’t really effect me blah blah blah, I’ll absorb too much and have a magical release that could possibly turn me into a girl.” I reiterated
“Or something evil.” She deadpanned.
I frowned. “Okay now you’re bullshitting me–”
“I’m not... whatever you said, Lee. You have a very unstable ability, something I had a while back until Twilight and her friends helped me. If you let your anger build and lose control of the magic you have stored, who knows how much damage you’ll cause.”
A tinge of fear sprouted in the pit of my stomach. I swallowed. “So you’re saying I’m literally a ticking time bomb?”
“Not entirely, all I’m saying is ‘learn to control your anger.’” She said. “Don’t follow in my hoof steps.”
“Wh-what happened to you?” I asked nervously.
“Let’s just say, I lost control of my magic and nearly killed my sister along with everypony else in the entire world...” She briefly explained.
“Oh... shit.” I mumbled under my breath, regretting I even asked.
“Now take what I said to heart, okay. Trust me, Lee, you’re not the only one who’s gone through this.” Luna softened up a bit.
“Did you... did you think you were going to lose someone?” I asked wanting to learn more, even though it might have been a bad idea.
“I thought everyone was going to lose me...” She replied back in a hush tone. “But enough of this,” Luna stood up from her chair. “How about we go for a walk?” She asked with a broad smile.
“Where would we go? And what time is it, shouldn’t you be sleeping or something?” I asked.
“Oh they’re plenty of places we can go, and it’s only six in the afternoon and I’m already wide awake as it is.” She explained.
“Alrighty then.” I said as I flung my legs to the side, only to realize...
I’M NOT WEARING ANY FUCKING CLOTHES!
How didn’t I realize this earlier?! Where the fuck are they!
“Lee, are you alright you look a little pale?” She asked.
Of course I’m not fucking alright! My shalong is hanging out in front of a Princess, not to mention it’s fucking freezing!
“Where are my clothes?” I asked politely.
“Oh... They were kind of ruined after I blasted you through the door, your blood was all over them staining them to no end. After countless washes we were unable to get the blood out of them, so we had to throw them out.” She explained.
Taking the blanket and covering myself I looked at her. “So... you’re saying I have no clothes... at all?”
Luna’s face scrunched a little in thought. “Well you do have that old jacket of yours back in your room.” She said.
My room? Wait... this isn’t my room?
“This isn’t my room?” I asked. It looks exactly like mine!
“No, yours is destroyed remember?”
“Oh...” Yeah, I remember now. “Then who’s room is this?” I asked.
“That would be Shimmering Grace’s room, she isn’t here right now as you can see. She is in the middle of cleaning your mess.” Luna explained. “So are you ready for that walk?”
“On second thought,” I said. “I think I’m just going to stay in here... till I can go home... because no way am I walking around outside naked!” I jammed an angry finger at her as I curled up into a ball inside the blanket, my bare legs still sticking out.
“What’s wrong with not wearing clothes, ponies do it all the time.” Luna said.
“Well gee guess what, Lulu, I’m not a pony!” I snapped at her like a first grader.
She sighed. “Come on, Lee, at least if you have the necklace on nopony will actually see you naked.”
“So, it still seems weird!” I retorted.
“Come on the mares will love you.” I could just feel her smile burrowing into me through the sheets.
“That only makes it worse!”
“Oh it can’t be that bad–”
“You wouldn’t even begin to understand how embarrassed I am right now!” I cut her off.
“Okay now you’re just acting like a teenage filly.” Luna said her playful voice slipping into a more adult sounding tone. “Come on we’re going.”
“Can I at least have a towel or something to wrap myself with?” I asked slightly peeking out from under the cover.
Seeing that she was growing irritated, Luna released a sigh and ran her hoof through her flowing mane. “If I teleport you to the tailors, will you please cooperate?”
I laid still for a few seconds before responding. “Uh... yeah sure.”
Silence for the third time fell on us as we each stayed put, looking at each other. “Well...” Luna began.
“What?” I said repositioning myself so that I was more comfortable under the heavy fabric.
“I need you to stand up and come here.” She motioned for me to come over to her.
Blowing air out my nostrils I flung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up bringing the blankets along for the ride. “Put the blankets back,” Luna said.
My mouth dropped open. “Se-seriously, I can’t bring the blankets along?”
“I can’t have you dragging Shimmering Grace’s blankets all around the castle now.” Luna stated.
“Why no–never mind.” I said as I hesitantly unwrapped myself and tossed the blankets on the bed. Turning back towards the princess only to see her eyes wide as they occasionally looked my body over, my cheeks flushed a dark red.“Wh-what’s wrong?”
“N-n-nothing... just not what I expected... are you sure you’re not related to a minotaur?” Luna looked at me with a questioning look.
“What?” I raised an eyebrow.
Luna shook her head. “S-sorry, got off track.” Her horn lit up. “Just like I said, I’ll teleport us to the tailors, tell her what you need and we’ll be out before we know it.”
A draft blew through the room and I shivered and crossed my arms. “We better be.”
Luna closed her eyes. and the glow in her horn began to grow brighter “Alright... get ready, Lee. You’re going to feel a small tickle and we should be–”
Suddenly the door to the room flew open with a mighty bang which startled both of us, “Your highne–”
A loud burst of magic, like a gunshot, fired into the air and ricocheted off the glass of the lights above, and flew into the mirror. Which once again bounced off and came right at me. “Lee, duck!” Luna shouted diving right towards me, but before I could duck, or she could even shove me out of the way. Both of us were struck by the magic orb, and the entire world swirled into darkness.
:[-]:
“Princess Luna...” Said a distant voice. “Princess Luna, are you alright?”
Ah goddammit, my head ached, how many times in one day am I going to get knocked out... fuck might as well keep a tally.
A groan came close by me. “Oh thank the gods you are okay, you and that thing got hit mighty hard.” Slowly I began to open my eyes...
“Wha...” I began but found my throat was dried up again. I attempted to push myself up off the floor but I stopped, why do I feel heavy, I thought. I tried once again but for some odd reason I felt as if I gained over a hundred pounds in the last thirty seconds.
Giving myself one final push I felt the sudden nuzzle of a pony helping me to my... hooves?! I slowly opened my eyes, but once the first rays of light pierced my overly sized eyeballs, I winced and clenched them shut. Allowing them a few seconds to adjust, and once I opened them of course I was already facing the mirror, which gave me a clear visual of myself... or Princess Luna in this case. All the air was instantly sucked from my lungs and I was left speechless at the sight before me.
Behind me through the reflection I could see my still naked self slowly waking up. “Are you alright Princess Luna?” Asked the random guard who was looking at me/Luna with a concerned look..
I turned my new large horse head towards the guard my/Luna’s eyes still wide and pupils shrunken in fear. “Eh...” I said in this new girlish sounding voice.
You know when I first arrived, and I found gender swapping to be interesting... yeah... I change my mind this is fucking scary!
“Don’t worry, I’ll go tell Celestia right away,” Before I could even respond the guard turned and ran out the door!
Letting the guard go I slowly turned to face the mirror, gazing right into the eyes of the princess of the night.
Jesus... I thought as a shiver tore through Luna’s body. I just body snatched the fucking Princess of the Night...
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I guess we can call her "Mooney" until the swap is over.
Its, not it's
Yours
Lee tries to make a cake in his new body. Things do not go well.
(My 2 cents)
4092046 Why thank you, and it's fixed.
Everypony's gonna start freaking out when someone catches 'Luna' eating a steak.
Honestly, I just want Lee back in his own body. Never been a fan of body swapping or ponification etc., when it's only for a little while like this it can be funny and stuff, but yeah I quite like my humans to be human.
4093174 Oh don't worry it's only going to be a one time gag, I don't plan on keeping it long.
Well done, this story has managed to steal a laugh from me.
4093287 Yeah I thought it would be, but in some stories it lasts for quite a while or is a little recurring joke and it gets on my nerves.
1) In prison the Lee (Luna).
2) Kill Celestia.
3) And become the ruler of the world. MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
or...
Eat all of Celestias cake. So Lulu would gain a ton and Celestia will hav a cake withdrawal syndrome.
4093865
*Drops mic* My work is done here!
4095987
Interesting...
4094985
I can assure you it won't last long... but the recurring joke part might bug you, maybe.
4096699 Don't worry about it, it's one small thing (that as it stands doesn't really bother me) in an otherwise very good story.
4096715
Thank you, kind person.
Should be your.
And now, aside with that typo.
This story is WONDERFUL, everything just feels like it... just clicks together.
And that ending, oh man good job with that xD
We will befriend a talking rock named Jean-Luc and together they will go on wacky adventures and win a dance-competition to save the orphanage.
Now this is getting interesting. IS there a chance were Lee can "screw" with the other ponies? And possibly make Blueblood crap him self? Or disown him?
cineramaetcetera.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/invasion-of-the-body-snatchers.jpg
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md1esb8eWW1rdp1syo1_500.gif
Can we find out what the fuck happened to Luna, then go tease Celestia?
Oh god, for every agonizing second I read how Lee just forgives Luna because "Oh don't worry my dear!! It wasn't your fucking fault anywayz!" I was internally screaming in anger.
Then I saw this body swap...
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! YOU SHALL FEEL OUR RAGING WRATH YE' TYRANT PONY SISTERS.
Seriously though, he better abuse this new found power; he's too much of a doormat.
4100439 Yeah he may be a doormat, but. Have you ever thought that's how I intended for his character to be?
Mind=BLOWN!
Serious mode now, Lee is actually a doormat along with his forgiveness/kindness (If you haven't noticed in his flashbacks/dreams he is actually a really nice guy, in the meantime though he is still trying to cope with ponies.) I'll admit I haven't really shown too much of his doormatnessis.... I think I made a word.
But yes I might have him abuse his power (not way too much) but that's not really how I'm going to have the next chapter roll out. Instead I have a few other funny things I have in mind, along with some actual plot movement. (Plot's been moving a little too slow time I think I actually get it going.)
So it's gonna be one of those episodes, eh?
Abuse, abuse the shit outta your newfound power!