• Member Since 19th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen May 13th

that_one_guy -

With all things considered like the vanity in some stories on this site, my goal is to try to be a pedigree above them as an author...emphasis on try......ok...let's do this.

Comments ( 43 )
Comment posted by Mary Sue Alert deleted Nov 28th, 2013
Comment posted by Permanent Temporary deleted Nov 28th, 2013

Little tip, don't forget to use capitalization. The story looks much better when written with proper grammar.

I thank you for not deleting comments.

Oh, sorry.

well, other than the fact that the dialog as confusing, its good.:twilightsmile:

Ok, another repeated problem is, the 'period' problem. When typing, periods are placed like this, 'blah blah blah. Blah blah blah.'
You did your periods like this, 'Blah blah blah .Blah blah blah .' do you see the space there?
Sorry if this is an inconvenience to you. Good story plot though.

working on next chapter....haven't given up on story also while i'm typing this i might as well formally apologize for deleting comments, everyone's entitled to an opinion through a comment regardless if it's negative, it won't happen again. also i have paid attention to feed back and i assure you that it has been consider'ed along with any future feed back.

I appreciate the compliment, and yeah I got that covered, story has crappy ratings but I won't let that stop me from continuing though it is disappointing considering it was considered into a rather offending group but what ever. Thanks for the encouragement.

Sorry for the wait:twilightsheepish: I'm currently working on the finishing touches of the latest chapter .

Out of curiosity if anyone enjoyed the story so far I would appreciate your input on what his weapon of choice should be.


Look mate the first thing you need to do is revise your previous chapters and check for errors. Next is to also check for spacing issues, the first chapter was full of it. Also quick note:
This is the basis of communications that's most fanfics use in their stories, it helps a lot to people who we're confused like I was.
Also there is also scene transitioning, for example
-=Later that day=-
Or any simple divider, that is all mate.

3590405 understood. Thanks for the feed back I'll be sure to keep that in mind as I work on the next chapter.

needs a lot of work less comments and don't tell me a story write one

Ok I know I set my ded line for today but I'm going to extend it for a little while longer.

im still alive, and working on next chapter, in taking my time,

I Apologize for the wait, I experienced internet issues. Still going to take my time on the next chapter though. :pinkiecrazy:

Wtf all i can say wtf

Weird. People hate it but also people like it. Might as well continue on and give the haters something to hate and the dislikers something to dislike

I'm working on editing the first chapters so they are not as horrible when It comes to grammar and mistake wise. I recommend reading it again when they are finished being edited.

3813185 Okay and sorry I couldn't help. Kinda got redeployed so I was majorly busy.:twilightblush:

I like it.

~ OreoKookie

i'll say this. i wasnt so sure at first but i continued reading i began to like it wen i got to the latest chapter i'm asking u, PLEASE MORE.....

4136543 I guess I can continue on with the story even though I'm constructing the foundations of another.

Never mind.on the other story, I'll focus on this

Alright.....I think I need to apologize for not posting anything. I also have to formally admit that this story was a Mary Sue, and I'm not dead...that is all.

Damn. Five weeks! Alright I will work on next chapter. As soon as likes go over dislikes i will fully commit to this

My apologies. I accidentally published a chapter that wasn't ready. My bad but i hope it means something to those who still want the story

In my defense on why the story has a lot of dislikes is because of a few mistakes I did. First one is having the character be a Mary Sue. Second..the second chapter. I sincerely implore you read the other chapters before you dislike. (Plus I need an editor if would appreciate the help)

Comment posted by that_one_guy - deleted Jul 31st, 2014

i cant see for the life of me why others would dislike your story just for having a few grammatical errors, i find this story both captivating and entertaining, oh and sorry i cant be an editor, i do not have the time for that.

God dammit I need to work on this.

Um. Who ever is reading this chapter...hope you enjoy it.

5270692 The story itself is still being worked on and not another chapter will be published until I have the entire story down, beginning middle to end....but my priority is set on my other story. I.N.O.S.J.a.P. I'm about to comment a sneak peak on coat of arm rough drafts for two clans....or houses within the griff empire: Lestride and Summer Breeze. But back on subject. I am being careful on any further content in the story, I don't need this story getting anymore dislikes

5265208 can't blame him he is probably angered easily he's probably insane and she probably reminds him of something or someone that wronged him.......

5379675 there would be no fun to just explain right off the bat but that is a fun way to look at it.

I'm sorry to all of you who really looked forward to where this story was going, I learned important lessons in the beginning when this story wasn't doing too good when it came to ratings. It was difficult making this decision to pause this story, being my most liked and read story and being favorited by 60 individuals and being on 124 bookshelves and all.

I just dont want to keep anyone who enjoyed the story to be left hanging with the hopes of another chapter being uploaded. But rest assured after I'm done with the latest story i'm working on you can expect this story to be continued but with more substance. What ever you found in this story that made you like it will be more refined I assure you. till next time...stay safe.

Comment posted by that_one_guy - deleted May 4th, 2016
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