My Neighbor Pinkie Pie

by MrEnter

Case I: Accident Prone (Act III)

After Pinkie made sure that Violet was okay and wouldn't turn the stove on again we left for the Mandeas Warehouse. I couldn't drive in—there was a gate blocking the way. Only working employees with an ID card could get it open. We were forced to park at an old bar about a quarter mile up. I asked Pinkie to stay at the bar. I was pretty sure that they would only let customers park there. She put up a bit of a fuss, but after I gave her some money she didn't complain. I hiked my way back to the warehouse.

I knocked on the door to their entry building. I waited for awhile, getting no answer. I did think to myself that it was a Sunday so the warehouse might have been closed for the day. Then I looked through the security gate and saw a few cars parked there. There were only three vehicles a beat-up old van, a pristine red car, and a green pick-up truck. The red car in particular caught my eye. I don't think anyone would leave that there over night. I pounded on the door once again, and an intercom buzzed to life.

"Hello, can I help you?" asked a female voice.

"Yes, I'm a police investigator. I'm here to ask a few questions. May I be let in?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Yes," I said bluntly.

I heard the door click unlocked. I pressed it open and found myself in a waiting room of some sort. There was the receptionist—the woman who presumably let me in—behind a desk clacking away at her computer. She moved her eyes from her computer towards me, but the rest of her uninterested expression didn't change. She pressed on an intercom.

"Mr. Kalloway, someone is here to see you."

"Who? I don't have any appointments today."

I grabbed the receptionist's hand and pressed the intercom button myself.

"I'm a police investigator. One of your employees has recently gone missing. I'd like to ask a few questions, perhaps do a little looking around. Since you don't have any appointments, I don't suppose you'd mind a brief interview?"

"Ah yes..." said the man on the other side, "I don't see why not."

The receptionist stopped trying to fight me away from the intercom and just gave me a scowl. I stared back for a few moments before she pointed me down a hallway. I made my way through the hall to an imposing door at the end of it. If that wasn't something that screamed intimidation then I don't know what was. I didn't work there, but even I felt nervous slowly approaching that door. I opened the door and saw Mr. Kalloway sitting beyond a desk in his stuffy suit and tie, a lit cigar rolling around in his right hand. He gave me a smile transparent as glass.

"So, who's the person who's gone missing?"

"Pony. She was a pony," I said, taking a seat across from Kalloway. "Her name is Cloudkicker. From what I understand she was last seen reporting to a call you gave her sometime last night, around seven PM. I was wondering if you knew anything."

"Cloudkicker," he said, putting his cigar into his mouth. He almost sounded like he growled as he said the last part of her name. I decided to jump on that.

"Sounds like you didn't like her very much."

"No, of course I didn't. She was constantly bumping into things, knocking over crates, damaging valuable property! She was a walking danger zone. Just recently she put someone in a hospital! I had no choice, I had to fire her. Let that klutz rot and starve."

"Y-you do know that she has a daughter, right?"

"Of course I do," he said, blowing a huff of his cigar. "Whenever I tried to fire her in the past, she always brought Violet up. 'Oh my poor girl will starve' 'I can't get a job anywhere else'. I wouldn't be surprised if she got hit by a truck on her way home."

"I highly doubt that she's that accident prone."

"That's not what I meant," Kalloway said with a smile.

"Y-you're not seriously suggesting that she—?"

"She did seem like a good mother. How do you think she would be able to tell her only filly, her whole world that she got fired from the last job that she could find? I personally don't think that she could do it. You should have seen her crying out of my office! It was a sight to behold. It almost made the price in damages worth it."

"So you think that she killed herself," I said, saying each word slowly, "and yet you don't feel any sense of remorse."

"Hey, we don't know that... yet," he said, almost chuckling.

"Did you collect her ID card?"

"She ran out of here crying before I could. I tried to call her again, she didn't pick up her home phone. You say she was missing ever since her visit here last night. I guess that explains that. If you manage to find it, I'd really like that back."

"Speaking of that? Is it okay if I do some searching around the place."

"What are you hoping to find?" he growled.

"I won't exactly know until I find it, now will I?"

"You're a bit of a smart ass, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Kalloway stared at me for a brief moment, before he burst out laughing. He said something about liking my guts, and gave me a visitor's pass. It wouldn't let me everywhere in the complex, but if Cloudkicker was really here for such a short time there wouldn't be much need for me to search through the more restricted parts of the facility.

For now, I'd begin my search in the parking lot. I began looking at the cars. The red one obviously belonged to Kalloway, but did the beat-up green pickup truck belong to the receptionist? I guess it goes to show you that stereotypes don't always line up to reality. But who owned the van? Was there a third person here? I put my hand on the door of it.

"Hi! Whatcha doing?" asked a voice behind me.

"I'm looking around to see— Pinkie, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay and watch the car."

"Yeah about that," she said, folding her ears. "I-it kind of got impounded."

"What do you mean 'it got impounded'?"

"Um... I ran out of money so they kicked me out of the bar, and told me to take the car off of the premises. Of course, I didn't have the key so it took me some time to hotwire it, and—" I put my hand to her mouth.

"On second thought, I don't want to know. While you're here, help me look around. See if you can find any clues that would help us figure out where Cloudkicker disappeared to."

"You mean like that ID card in the tail pipe of the white van?"

I looked to the van and reached inside. Sure enough, I grabbed something. Upon pulling it out I had a rectangle covered in soot. Once I removed the debris I found that I was holding Cloudkicker's ID card. Pinkie suggested that that van was hers. I doubted it. Cloudkicker didn't seem to have the money for a vehicle, even one as beat up as this. Furthermore, this place was within flying distance of her house. Even if she did own this van it wouldn't have explained why she put her ID card in the tail pipe.

Nonetheless, having Cloudkicker's ID card presented itself with a few opportunities. We wondered around the facility until we found the locker rooms. I used the ID card on every locker until one finally opened up. What I found on the inside shocked not only Pinkie, but me as well. I stood there eyeing a .357 Magnum pistol. M-m-maybe she did do it. No, that wouldn't make any sense.

"Ponies can't use guns, right?" I asked, wandering through my thoughts.

"No, they can't," she said, and then she added. "Not unless they're a unicorn."

I looked for a paper in the locker and used it to pick up the gun. I couldn't risk getting prints on what might have very been the murder weapon. I banged it against the door of the locker and five bullets fell out of a six-shooter pistol. My breathing slowed as the metal hit the floor. The clattering of the gun echoed them as it fell to the floor. No matter how many times I go through the motions, I still get that shock. Luckily my lucid mind returns quicker and quicker each time. I picked up the gun once again with the paper, had Pinkie wait in the locker room, and returned to Kalloway's office.

"I found Cloudkicker's ID card. It was in the tail pipe of the white van out in the parking lot. I hope you don't mind, but I used it to open her locker."

"I don't really mind. After all, she is missing. I suppose it would be the best place to look for clues. So what did you find?"

I placed the gun on the table. That seemed to catch him off guard. He reached for it, only to stop short. Then he stared at it for a few moments. I stared at him, reading his emotions. There was definitely a large amount of surprise within his expression, although why I didn't know. Was he surprised that there was a gun, or was he surprised that I found it?

"You found this in Cloudkicker's locker?" Kalloway asked.

"Yeah, but you'll never guess where I found the ID card: in the tail pipe of the white van. Who owns that van?"

"I-I do."

I blinked.

"Okay, then who owns the red car?"

"Another one of my employees, Stormbolt. His car is still here because he left in an ambulance. He's the one that Cloudkicker put in the hospital."

Author's Note:

Did you figure it out yet? This is your last chance. :)

Comments

[Howling Wolves]

And so the plot thickens, I'm putting down that it's either the obvious or some plot twist that will come out of nowhere. Let's see how this unfolds...

[shirotora]

Why did 5 shells fall? A revolver doesn't eject them. If it was fired, there should still be six unless someone removed the spent round.

I'm thinking she's in hiding because she accedently shot him and is afraid of going to prison.

[Meestor Pugglypup]

W.. wait.. Is this liek... some civilization of both ponies and humans? I am so confuzzed

[DILLYbOd]

Very interesting... I like it so far.. the sentence structures are good... iI see no major problems grammar wise. I like the diolouge between Jack and Pinkie... Keep it up...

The story so far is 4 Derpys out of 5 Derpys.

[PrincessAJ]

I'm loving this story so much! its so interesting, and i love the dialog between Jack and Pinkie ^__^
i look forward to more of this story in the future

[Ithrex]

So far, everyone (two people) who I've tried this review formula with has liked it, so here you go I guess

Stats: (Current chapter as of review: 4)
Shallow face value-9/10
Just the fact that this story contains a 'Human' tag will definitely drive some people off, like the ones who consider HiE to be unholy garbage. What you do have going for you, however, is your popularity as a reviewer on other sites (Stay on topic...), and I assume this accounts for roughly 75% of your audience. Human fics are able to get a 10/10 in the 'Judging A Book By Its Cover' section if it has a particularly eye-catching description. If the remainder of your story is going to feature other cases as a co-plot to character interaction, then you might want to tweak the long description to reflect this.
Plot & feel-10/10
THANK YOU for not having any awkward introduction scene! Usually, anything that includes ponies and humans involves a hard-to-read many paragraphs consisting of mostly reactions shots and boring dialogue. The idea of a human/pony acquainted world provides a perfect solution to this problem, and makes everything easier to go along with.
Pacing-8/10
It would be nice if there were longer chapters and more content, but for some story types, a certain chapter length isn't right or wrong.
Headcanon-10/10
I didn't see anything that wasn't show-approved, so this makes your current headcanon absolutely flawless.
Spelling and Grammar-8/10
There are just a few errors, and I can change this rating to 10/10 if the story ends up grammatically perfect (not counting stylistic/intentional deviations from universal standards). Do you want to know where the typos are?

Total: 45/50 points
Rating: Highly Recommended
I can see your writing style (from your review scripts) echoed in your fanfiction work, and even the main character in this story seems almost autobiographical in regards to your personality and ideals. When you get around your six dozen or so other unrelated projects, it’d be nice to see some more work from you over here.

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Details for my rating process may be found here:
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/403171/template-for-story-reviews