• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Jan 16th, 2018

Pastel Pony


Just a girl doing her best to write semi-entertaining whatnots. I'm a female brony, not a pegasister ...Get it right.

T

Rainbow Dash has been missing for two whole days, and despite Pinkie's claim that its just a family emergency, Fluttershy can't shake the feeling that something isn't right. So she goes to see Pinkie, and accidently stumbles across a horrifying truth...

How Pinkie's secret ingredient is made...

And it might cost her her life,
Or at least her sanity...


A Cupcakes Sequel
Note: This is a study of what might of occurred had Pinkie Pie been caught after the death of Rainbow Dash. The only part of this story to contain actual gore is Part 2.

Chapters (8)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 65 )
BR

I went with my gut feeling once. Turns out it was severe food poisoning.

The sole reason I read this:

Yea...an unofficial sequel to Cupcakes...probably not my best way to kick off my FIMfiction career, but...
Ya go with your gut feeling you know?

Yeah.... No. However, I will give you credit for finding a way to make me read this in the first place. Very circumstantial that I read first fics and almost never read Cupcakes sequels. That being said...

Some issues in grammar, but not major.

That's the 'good' advice I have. Honestly, it would've made this fic, for what it is, more... tolerable? But since not, the other advice I have:

Just stop. Don't keep going forward with this. It's... not worth it. Go work on something new and better.

(Note: I didn't rate your story.)

Comment posted by Pastel Pony deleted Oct 4th, 2013

3297904

admit it isn't the most creative thing in the world...

But you can't at least give it a shot?:applejackunsure:

I was just trying to start with something simple :3

3297949
1. Handy little button for replying editing your comment at the top right of each your comment box.
2. No. Becuase from what I've seen, admittedly, it's not going to be... interesting. There's nothing in the story that grabs my attention into this. However, it's not glaringly bad, so I give it a pass.

3297978

no offense to your advice...but I'm still going to finish this

Its your choice if you want to read it...

and I hope you'll at least give my other stuff a chance (when i eventually get around to writing it)

I'm not even touching this story. There's already a sequel to Cupcakes involving Fluttershy and that one is really cruel. Even though this one may not go the same route I've seen enough Cupcakes to last me a life time.

I really think this wasn't the best way for you to start your FiMFiction prescence.

(For the record I didn't downvote your fic. I would never downvote something without reading it first.)

3298084

I can promise things aren't crazy gory in this...
but yea, i get it, some people arent grimdark fans

and i know this probably isnt a great first story, but something was telling me to write this...so i am :/

3298104 I probably wouldn't have done it. Or at least wated til I built up a following.

3298200

I guess your right :/

When I suggested it on my ig page it seemed to be a popular idea...so i went for it

But I'm planning to start another story I'm kinda brainstorming about soonish...

and then just have the two be added to at the same time...

so everypony stops hating me /)_-

3298231

A positive comment?!?!?!?

I love you so much right now:heart:

Nice change of pace... plus I want to see what Pinkie is up to. She'd be the first one I'd peg for a psychopath... with a close second as Rarity.

Personally, I dislike gore/horror fics. But this is different. I'll be awaiting the next chapter.

I really enjoyed how you built up and then BAM! Applejack to the rescue~ Wonder where's angel bunny... Angel cupcakes? :pinkiecrazy: Crazy pinkie is best crazy. Keep up the good work my friend :pinkiehappy:

le want moar! very good :pinkiehappy: one of the only good cupcakes sequels that ive been able to find :raritystarry:

I hated Cupcakes, but this a genuinely good sequel!
Loving it more and more.

Not bad. This is a good start to your Fimfiction career. Keep it up

~ Michael

1 word......AWESOME! I love this story! I WANT MOAR! :)

this was AMAZING!!! I think you have a career ahead for you!:raritywink::flutterrage::ajsleepy::twilightangry2::moustache:

Getting better and better each time I read.
I want MORE!

This just gets better and better !

ive been waiting for a story like this! finally some justice.... :fluttercry:

Wait, how could pinkie deceive her friends and kill them one by one? Justice must be served, I hate to say this, as pinkie was one of my faves, she must die.

my problem with this kidna fic is my problem with the whole concept here. what would happen if any of the elements of harmony were evil? well the elements themselves would not go to them. nightmre moon would have cast the world into eternal night. they would not be friends. etc.

hell saying that she became a psycho killer after being chosen is not applicable either. if she had this twisted capacity inside of her before, the elements would not overlook that. one cannot truly embody these elements if they possess a capacity that totally destroy theri purpose.

you writing is pretty fair for a first time around. though i think it would be best to try out something more unique or, at least, not related to stories that create a strange paradox of events.

3459134
Dude, this isn't canon, don't act like it is.

3459134

Well it isn't something that would happen in the show, but I never said it was.
It's a What if??? story, technically that's all fanfiction is...What if this or that happened?
And sorry, but I'm pretty sure that the Dark tag as well as the teen: gore rating give a pretty clear idea of what to expect :pinkiecrazy:

3460342 didn't say i did nto expect all that. saying that even in a what if story, even in a fanfiction, some thigns can be distracting to a reader.
in my case, it is the factor of the elements never being able to choose pinkey if she had the capacity to murder someone. to become a force of chaos and destruction, basically. so if this is a what if story of, well, what if pinkey pie was a killer, the world she inhabits cannot be like the one shown in the show. something has to change. such as pinkie being replaced by another pony as the element of laugher. do to pinkie pie's nature she would still seek to be theri friends, and if anything it could make her moer likely to harm the ponies cause she might not have the iron clad bond shown in the show.

simply stating that the narrative is heavily flawed here in keeping the world surrounding them the same, when by the powr of the elements they can not be. i could go into less significant details, such as the ponies suffering from digestive issues from ingesting meat tainted cupcakes (herbivore guts plus meat does not equal happy tummy), or even the fact the ponies could easily smell blood on pinkie pie as they possess animalistic features and senses still. however in the end those are not as important as pinkie pie somehow killing someone so lcose to her for cannibal cupcakes and somehow still helping to defeat nightmare moon.

Look,
this is based off another fanfic, therefore it's based on what was perviously set by the original Cupcakes

And I'm not the only person to put one of the mane 6 in a story like this
There are several stories that go more in depth about how one of the mane 6 could still be a bearer of an element of harmony, and still struggle with a dark side of their personality
(an excellent example being The Secret Life Of Rarity)

And considering this is supposed to be a story about Fluttershy and the other mane 6 coping with what has happened...
I don't see the need to go into detail about ponies digestive systems 3460434

I'm enjoying this fiction a LOT...but I do have some small problems.
Pinkie should be convicted of murder of the Second degree or murder of the First degree. She DID have a list of every name, she just didn't have an order. I think First degree would fit.
Fluttershy should be a bit more emotionally scarred. After nearly dying a gruesome death at the hands of one of your best friends, I would think that ANYBODY would be more scarred than Fluttershy seems to be.

That's really it. Either way, this is an incredible piece of work. Keep this going for a while.

-Inspiration

3460626

Thanks for telling me! The first degree vs. second degree thing totally slipped my mind,
I'll fix that now :)

As for the emotional trauma thing...
I admit I probably haven't touched on that enough, but I figured since all this has taken place in a few days (With fluttershy sleeping through most of it) she's mostly just in shock, and the long-term mental scarring hasn't quite kicked in.
While this story is, unfortunately, getting closer to its end, I am considering having a chapter dealing with Fluttershy going to see a therapist, so that we can take a closer look at how this is affecting her.

Glad you like it at any rate:twilightsheepish:

um... if if you dont mind can you write the next chapter?:fluttershysad:

3547372

Heh...I'm almost done.

I should have it out later tonight :derpytongue2:

3303884
You should read milesprower06's The Cupcake Chronicles, then. I have a feeling you'd enjoy it.

3549729 what a coincidence!! :derpytongue2: that's one of my favourite stories in here :twilightsmile: but thanks for the suggestion anyhow :pinkiehappy:

Loving this more and more.
Never make this end.

-Inspiration

Aww, dang it. I was thinking about doing my own spinoff of Cupcakes, about Pinkie Pie getting caught! :ajsleepy: Whatever, this looks interesting, and I may still be able to; my idea is a little different :pinkiehappy: But this is your story, so anyway...I'll definitely read this! I loved the original Cupcakes, so I'll probably like this, too!

I L.o.v.e. This! Personally I don't open doors that are locked.....especially if there were rainbow colored cupcakes, and dash was missing!.....that's just me though:twilightsmile:

Gore,you call that gore?!? Anywhos:rainbowlaugh: good story!:pinkiehappy:

4040784

It isn't strong gore, true...
But it technically still qualifies :ajsmug:

And given how the focus of the story isn't really on horrible forms of torture (despite being a cupcakes fanfic) I didn't want to overdo it :rainbowderp:

I just stood their for a second, feeling the gold glass on my forehead- cold.....unless they have some really fancy glass that I don't know about...:moustache::facehoof:

That's the element of laughter for ya':pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!