• Published 1st May 2014
  • 1,719 Views, 44 Comments

Tiara Turnabout - Bookish Delight



For the longest time, Diamond Tiara was content to be one of Canterlot High School's most fearsome little girls. Then came Silver Spoon.

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1: History

Diamond Tiara gritted her teeth in disgust as she stared at the phone in her hand. On its screen, a video played showing three girls -- one orange, one yellow, and one white -- singing their hearts out.

She rolled her eyes. Ugh. These girls. These three, dumb girls, making her life a living annoyance factory with their dumb, dumb, get-famous-quick schemes. They pulled something like this every week.

Normally, Diamond could ignore them. This week, she couldn't. Normally, they were only a terrible sight to look at. This week, they were a burden on her ears, too.

And they'd put it all online.

Now the entire world would have to share in Diamond's pain. Had they no shame? "Why do you babies keep doing this?" she said, annoyed.

"Gimme my phone back!" one of the trio cried in reply. Apple Bloom grabbed for the phone in Diamond's hand -- a phone with a prominent picture of an apple as its wallpaper, and a stylized star engraved on the back. "T'ain't yours! And we're not babies, either! We're formin' our own singing group!" Apple Bloom puffed herself up. "The Cutely-Marked Crusaders!"

"The only thing you're forming is noise pollution! Do you hear this? Do you hear yourselves?"

Diamond turned the phone to its maximum volume and held it high above their heads. Waves of well-intentioned, but ultimately grating high-pitched screeching echoed throughout Canterlot High School's acoustics-friendly halls. Several students looked their way. Some held their ears. Others sounded verbal complaints.

Diamond kept it up for ten full seconds, turning the phone's display every which way so that everyone got a clear look at the true reason for the noise. She then lowered it and muted the sound, exhaling once she did so.

"The people have spoken," she said with a satisfied smile. "Baby singing coming from a bunch of babies who don't know when to stop squealing like their mommies abandoned them!"

"Yeah, you'd know all about that, huh," Scootaloo muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Diamond said, stepping directly in front of Scootaloo. "You feel like saying that to my face?"

"Stop!" Sweetie Belle rushed between the two, and thrust her arms out to both sides. "Diamond, haven't you ever wondered what you could be in life? Haven't you ever had a dream?"

Diamond looked Sweetie Belle's way and scoffed.

"The answer to both of those questions is, 'none of your business'. Now if you'll excuse me, as Princess of this school, I have a duty to defend it from nuisances like you!"

Apple Bloom threw up her hands. "Not again with the 'nuisance' stuff! Seriously, what did we ever do to you?"

Diamond turned her head sharply towards Apple Bloom. She started in on her, causing Apple Bloom to back away with every step.

"Let's see: all this time and you still don't know your place, and you keep embarrassing yourselves with stunts like this," Diamond said, pointing to the phone in her left hand. "And then you have the nerve to play dumb about it?"

She looked at all three Cutely-Marked Crusaders with disdain, then tossed Apple Bloom's phone to two young boys who had been flanking her the entire time.

"Snips! Snails! Make sure this stays outta their grubby little paws for as long as possible! I'm going to class."

"You got it!" Snips said. "Boo-yah! Keep-Away Champs of Canterlot!" Snips threw the phone to Snails, who tossed it back, sailing it high above the girls' heads.

"Give it back! Come on, give it!" Apple Bloom darted back and forth, trying to catch the phone, but the two boys easily lived up to Snips's claim. The phone spent of much of its time airborne as it was tossed between the troublemakers. It might have done so until next period, had someone else not caught it.

All present turned.

An orange upperclassman met their stares. Her bright red and yellow hair gave off a glare under the school's florescent lights, and directly contrasted with her black leather jacket. Only one girl in all of Canterlot High's student body dared to sport that look, and all present knew better than to try and question her about it.

"Sunset Shimmer?" Diamond Tiara was the only one of them brave enough -- or for that matter, allowed -- to look her in the eye. "What are you doing here?"

Sunset gave a dismissive scoff. "Hey, Princess," she said, with an edge in her voice that made Diamond wince. "First off, this is my school. I can go anywhere I please." She put out her hand and examined her nails, a bored look on her face. "Or have you forgotten?"

"R-right," Diamond said. "Sorry. But seriously, what do you want? You don't usually come down to my part of the playground anymore. If you get me."

"I don't," Sunset said, "except when I need something from it. Like now." She pointed to Snips and Snails. "I need to borrow them."

"W-what, those two clunkers?" Diamond crinkled her nose.

"Those two clunkers," Sunset singsonged. "Pretty please?"

Diamond looked at them. "Why my guys? Can't you just snap your fingers and get any boy in this school?"

"Well, yes, but I need a couple of little guys who can sneak around and fit into places. I also need a couple of kids who can follow orders without trying to be smart about it." She pointed to Snips and Snails with a snicker. "And for that second part? They just don't make 'em like those two."

Diamond said nothing. She watched Snips and Snails play a round of rock-paper-scissors, and accidentally punch one another.

Sunset noticed Diamond's silence, and her expression soured. "Something the matter, Princess? Your Queen's asking you a favor! Time's money, and stuff."

Diamond trembled. Her eyes were closed and her fist clenched as she ached desperately to speak her mind.

She squelched it, just like always. The time still wasn't right. "Snips! Snails!"

The two boys stopped their horseplay and instantly rushed in front of her. "Yes, Princess Diamond?" Snips said.

Diamond relaxed a bit upon hearing him address her. "Come on, boys. Queen Sunset's got a job for you."

The two boys looked at the Queen of Canterlot High. "Sunset, huh?" Snails said. "I dunno. What's in it for us?"

"Y-yeah," Snails echoed. "What's in it for us?"

Sunset balled a fist. "Me not giving you a knuckle sandwich?"

"Are you kidding?" Snails's expression became wistful as he placed his hands against his cheek. "The feel of Queen Sunset's lovely fist against my cheek is something I've dreamed about for ages-"

"Liking the sound of that too, actually," Snips said.

"I said stop!" Sunset gritted her teeth amidst the snickering of the two boys. "Fine. You wanna get punched so bad? You've got yourself a deal. But only after I'm done using you." She tossed the phone back to Apple Bloom. "Freebie today, kids. Just this once. Now scram!"

The would-be Cutely-Marked Crusaders did just that as Snips and Snails followed Sunset in another direction. Diamond looked around and found herself alone in the hallway aside from a few passersby.

She backed against the locker, giving a long, deflating sigh. Just great. Now she was going to have to spend who knew how long without her entourage.

Stupid Sunset. Why couldn't she have just been happy lording over the older students? Why did she have to have everything?

She huffed. Well, at least the pain and terrible noises were over. It was time to go to homeroom anyway.

She turned, and a dull thunk sounded as her skull crashed against someone else's.

At that exact, painful moment, she officially regretted ever getting out of bed that morning.

---

"Tiara Turnabout"

A My Little Pony: Equestria Girls Fanfiction

Chapter 1: "History"

Bookish Delight, 2014. MLP:EG belongs to Hasbro.

---

"Ow!" Diamond said, rubbing her head. Once the world stopped spinning, she struggled to rise to a sitting position. "You stupid jerk! Why don't you watch where you're going?"

"Me?" Diamond heard another girl's voice reply. "You're the one who wasn't looking!"

The pain in Diamond's head was gone, replaced by the heat of indignance. She looked up and stared at the girl in front of her. "Are you questioning my word on what happened?"

The girl put her hands on her hips, and glared right back down at Diamond. "No! I'm denying it! Watch where you're going!"

Diamond let out an overlong gasp. "You little..." Her day was already going badly enough -- she didn't need some disrespectful klutz making things worse! "Just who do you think you are?"

The girl opened her mouth, then hesitated. She closed her mouth, took a few deep breaths, then gave a long sigh. Finally, she gathered the books which had been strewn about when the two had collided, and put them neatly in two stacks -- one each beside their owners. She then stretched an open hand out towards Diamond.

"Someone who really isn't a fan of shouting matches," she said. "Especially when my ears are already ringing. Look, it doesn't matter who's fault it was. I'm sorry for bumping into you."

Finally, some respect. This was more like it.

Diamond hesitated, then took the girl's offered hand and allowed herself to be helped up. She wiped and straightened her dress, picked up her books, and took a good look at her assailant. Courteous or not, she would have to be taught a lesson. First from from Snips and Snails, and then probably even Daddy-

Wait.

"You... look kind of familiar," Diamond said after studying the other girl. "I think my daddy knows someone who looks like you."

"That's funny," the other girl said, wearing the same quizzical look. "I was about to say the same thing."

"All right," Diamond said, "you first. What's his name?"

The other girl clutched her books to her chest. She looked about Diamond's age, but with gray skin that gave a soft sheen when viewed from just the right angle. The blue glasses she wore only enhanced the aesthetic.

Sadly, Diamond couldn't say the same about the rest of her ensemble. Solid pink skirt and lavender blouse? Ultra-basic. Braided ponytail? Diamond had stopped wearing those after grade school. Still, she could get behind the pearl necklace and cute spoon charm.

The clothes could be changed -- and they would if Diamond had any say in the matter -- but at least this girl knew how to accessorize from the word go. It wasn't hard to believe that she didn't get out much, but potential was there nonetheless.

"My father's name is Stainless Sterling," the girl said.

Diamond gasped and pointed at the girl. "Of the Sterling Estate? That means you're his daughter! Uh, Sterling... something?" She put her hand to her chin. "Sterling Spork?"

The girl blushed. "Silver Spoon."

"R-Right! I knew that. The Sterling Estate's next to ours, you know. 'Course, 'next to' still means a few miles away," she said, with a triumphant chuckle.

"Then that means..." Silver Spoon gasped and pointed back at Diamond. "You're the daughter of the Riches! Diamond Tiara, right? I've heard so much about you! I'm glad I could finally meet you."

For a second, Diamond's prideful air disappeared. "You... you are?"

Silver nodded. "Daddy speaks the world of you."

"Forget your dad," Diamond said. "Why didn't you ever try to visit? Or come with your dad whenever he came to my place?"

"I..." Silver took a breath. "I'm not really used to being around other people. Up until yesterday, there wasn't much reason for me to leave my estate's grounds. Homeschooling does that do you. I knew where you were, but I never knew what you looked like, so I guess... I was a little af-..."

Silver stopped, then straightened her posture and adjusted her glasses. "Long story short, things got in the way. Still, I learned you were attending this school, so I asked to do the same," she finished in a firmer voice.

Diamond's confident look was back. She ran her fingers across the side of her hair, flipping the outer locks. "All because of me, huh?"

Silver shrugged. "Well, I needed a school to attend anyway. This was the closest, and I was getting tired of the whole shut-in home-schooled thing." She clutched her books tighter and sighed. "You know what it's like, right? Alone for miles around, with absolutely no one to talk to outside of tutors and the help..."

Diamond sighed back. "Boy, do I ever. Fine, I guess it's nice to meet you. But to be worthy of breathing my air, you need to do more than just live next door." She turned and took a few steps down the hallway. "Walk with me."

Silver raised her eyebrows. "W-what?"

Diamond turned back around and snapped her fingers. "What, are you deaf? I said walk with me. Since you're new, you need to know how this school works, and why there's only one Princess in it."

"Princess?" Silver rushed to catch up. The school bell rang, sending post-homeroom students spilling into the halls. Diamond silently pouted. She'd have to let Miss Cheerilee know that things had gotten in the way of her being on time. Fortunately, she had the perfect excuse walking right beside her.

"Princess." Diamond continued to walk, head held high and eyes half-closed. "As in, the girl who stands at the top of everything. When it comes to the junior grades, anyway."

"Uh-huh," Silver said, keeping pace. "And I take it that's you?"

"You better believe it, sister." Diamond gave a grandiose wave of her hand, in a gesture that spanned the school's halls. "And as Princess, the rules of this school don't affect--ow!" Diamond's hand slammed into a passing violet-skinned girl, knocking her to the floor.

Diamond and Silver kept walking. The latter looked back.

"You... seem to be awfully good at the whole 'bumping into people' thing."

"Nah. People are just bad at standing up for themselves," Diamond said. "She looked like one of the nerds, anyway."

Still, Diamond also took a look back at the girl, who was picking herself up. Interesting skirt, if noisy. Doubly interesting star design. She wondered where she'd seen it before.

She turned her attention back to more immediate matters. "Let me see your class schedule."

"Huh? Oh, sure." Silver dug into her bag, pulled out a piece of paper, and gave it to Diamond.

Diamond scanned it. "Hmm. We only have History together. In the afternoon."

Silver blinked. "Is that bad?"

Diamond gave the schedule back. "Well, it means you'll be fending for yourself for most of the day. Though it's also a good chance to learn just what life is like here. I promise you it's a lot noisier than either of our houses." She smiled.

Silver smiled back.

In that moment, Diamond realized what was happening and composed herself, replacing her smile with a poker face.

"Anyway, gotta go. If you survive your first day, I might take notice. I only give you fifty-fifty odds, though."

She turned and walked towards her homeroom with a wave, leaving Silver alone in the hall.

---

Hours later, Diamond walked into Miss Harshwhinny's History class. The usual students were inside, as was her usual empty seat in the second row. She looked around and saw Silver sitting in the back.

Silver looked up, saw Diamond, and gave a small wave. Diamond gave a quick twitch of her eyebrows in return. Acquaintance or not, it wouldn't do her image any good to be seen associating with the unproven new girl. She took her seat.

"Ah, good," Harshwhinny said. "Now that everyone's here, we can continue where we left off yesterday. Please open your textbooks to page 137."

Diamond took her book out of her bag and followed her teacher's instructions. Her face soured when she saw the art adorning the page. Just great. This was the chapter on the ancient reign of King Sombra the Depressive. It was going to be a long month.

"Mith Harthwhinny?" A voice sounded from the back of the class -- a distinctive voice that was impossible to mistake.

Miss Harshwhinny groaned in annoyance at being interrupted. "Yes, Twist?"

Twist put down her hand. "I, uh, jumped ahead in the book again latht night, 'cauthe I'd already read thith chapter latht week, and-"

Harshwhinny sighed. "Twist, what have I told you about keeping pace with the rest of the class?"

"But I have a huge quethtion!" Twist was bouncing in her seat now. "In the theventh chapter, the book talkth about how the Richeth helped found Canterlot. Isn't that Diamond'th family? Why doth she get to be in the texthbook?"

Diamond beamed with pride. She thought she'd have had to wait months for them to come to that chapter, paving the way for a glorious month of these silly students learning all about why she was important. It'd still happen, of course, but leave it to that lisping nerdlinger to jump-start the process!

Diamond put her hands on her desk, ready to give her long-awaited speech -- a speech about herself and her family's importance to this entire city. A speech which would make sure everyone knew just why they should always look upon her with reverence! A speech which would be repeated amongst the other kids during lunches and recess! A speech that would become no less than legend!

A speech which never came, because someone beat Diamond to the punch.

Silver Spoon pushed her chair back and stood up. "Because it's all true," she said.

"Hmm?" Harshwhinny looked in Silver's direction. "Oh, yes, the transfer student. You never did actually introduce yourself."

"Silver Spoon, Miss Harshwhinny. Of the Sterlings."

"The other huge property nextht to Diamond Tiara?" Twist rolled her eyes and sighed. "Jutht great. Another rich girl."

Silver ignored Twist's remark. She clasped her hands together and gave a small bow of her head towards her teacher. "I apologize for speaking out of turn. And for Twist's doing the same."

"Hmmm. I'll let it slide," Harshwhinny said. "This time." She looked at Silver, then at Twist. Her eyes narrowed. "Though you sounded as if you had an answer for Twist's question."

"I believe I do," Silver replied. "Is it all right if I give it?"

Harshwhinny nodded. "Let's see what you've got."

"Thank you." She turned to face Twist. "Diamond's family totally belongs in this book." Silver said. "Actually, mine does too, but this book is just really old. The school really should look into getting new editions."

"But you thaid you're a Thterling." Twist gave Silver a confused look. "Doethn't that mean don't you jutht do thilver and thtuff? Like jewelry? How ith that important?"

"Simple," Silver said. "When Canterlot was founded a few hundred years ago, it was the Riches who set up its premiere shops, providing the town with industrial goods and services through trade. My family didn't show up until maybe a hundred years ago, but when we did..." Silver smiled. "Well, things got really modern really fast. We've been pushing this place forward for decades."

"Maybe you were back then." Twist turned her phone around to show the same stylized star logo that had been on Apple Bloom's. "But you do know NorthTech'th taking over thith city bit by bit, right?"

Silver looked back to Miss Harshwhinny. Harshwhinny gave a silent, straight-lipped nod back.

Silver walked over and tapped the silver backing of the phone. "They wish. To answer your earlier question? My family's in charge of everything bearing the color silver. This includes steel, among other things. Tools, technology, you name it, we've got a hand in it. So 'NorthTech' needs us even more than we need them." She leaned forward over Twist's desk. "To say nothing of you. You're using my stuff right now."

Twist blinked through her glasses. "I... I am?"

Silver tapped the hinges of Twist's glasses. "You can see because of us. You can act all smart on your little online phone because of us. And, because of the way it's minted, you can even spend money because of us." She plucked a loose string from Twist's blouse. "Provided you've ever seen money, anyway. Though on the off chance you ever do, a piece of advice: treat it as nice as you can." Silver cast a quick glance at Diamond, then looked back at Twist with a decisive glower and a dark smile. "You never want to get money on your bad side."

Twist cowered in her seat. "G-got it."

Silver's smile turned mockingly sweet. "Good."

Silver walked back to her seat amidst murmurs of awe from the rest of the class. They rose in volume until Miss Harshwhinny rapped her ruler against the table. All of the students cringed at the noise.

"Simmer down, all of you!" Harshwhinny surveyed her students. "What is the number one rule of my class?"

The students snapped to attention. "Always be professional," they replied in unison.

"Then live up to it or it's extra homework for all of you! Silver, thank you for the, ahem, lesson. Though perhaps now we can go back a thousand years and return to the planned curriculum, hmm?"

Silver nodded. "Yes, Miss Harshwhinny," she replied in a polite voice. "I'm very sorry for my outburst."

"Don't be," Harshwhinny said. A gleam in her eye betrayed her business-like demeanor. "Honestly, I wish all of my students' introductions were as educational."

---

History was the last class of the day. The second it let out, Diamond took a brisk walk to Silver's locker, and stood in front of it. She put on her best scowl as she stood and waited.

Silver arrived not too long afterward. She took one look at Diamond, and shrank back.

Perfect.

"Let's get one thing straight," Diamond said. "As Princess of this school, I don't appreciate being cut off in class."

Silver's eyes shifted downward as she stayed silent. Diamond placed her finger on Silver's chin, nudging the other girl's face up to see Diamond wearing a much warmer expression.

"But I do appreciate when someone around here actually gets it. That history lesson you gave? I couldn't have said any of that better myself!"

Silver's eyebrows raised in surprise, then her entire face lit up in elation. "I swear I don't know what came over me in there. I don't usually do that, any of that, I-"

"Relax," Diamond said. "It's called being proud of who you are. That's what came over you." She turned away. "And as such, I've decided there's hope for you."

Silver blinked. "Hope for me?"

Diamond held up her phone. "I texted Daddy and had him call your house. Your limo won't be showing up outside today."

Silver did a double take. "Then... um, how will I get home?"

"My help will drive you back tonight. Right now you're coming over to my place, in my limo."

Silver stopped. "Oh."

Diamond turned back to see a nonplussed look on Silver's face. She peered closer. "You... don't look happy. Especially given the opportunity you've just landed."

Silver shook her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to come off that way. I just was making sure I'd really heard what you said." She took a step closer to Diamond. "I'd love to see your place."

Diamond nodded. "Then you're in luck, because that's the plan. Come on. My limo waits at the front door every afternoon."

"Lead the way," Silver said.

Diamond started walking towards the exit, noticed something, and stopped. "Come on, Silver," she said, turning back around. "What, do you want to be trailing behind me forever? Keep up!"

"O-oh, right!" Silver jogged to catch up, then made sure to match Diamond's walking speed.

Diamond smiled at Silver -- and this time, decided to keep smiling. "Much better."

Silver smiled back.

The two opened Canterlot High School's doors, and stepped out into the world beyond.

Author's Note:

Next Subject: Economics

Comments ( 43 )

Finally! I've been reading for a story from you to come out!

4322976
Sweet! Well, here's your chance!

Yah, sorry about the extended hiatus -- I had to get a new batch ready. :twilightsmile:

4323012
No need to be story:twilightsmile:just glad you're back.

An EqG story? By Bookish Delight? That has Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon in it?! :heart:

I love how adorable the cover art is!:pinkiehappy:

4323092

You're three for three! :pinkiehappy: Dig in!

Well I'll be darned. How dare you make Diamond Tiara, in all of her snooty, spoiled, selfish snippiness a sympathetic character? Same goes for Silver Spoon, of course; and I love the idea of Ms. Harshwhinny as a history teacher.

This is going to be very interesting, I'm sure. :twistnerd:

Silver seems to be lost somewhere between being a nice girl and being the bully we know. Is that intentional, or was she supposed to be going one way or the other?

4323207

That's a really good question! You should hold on to it. :twilightsmile:

4323110
I know, right? You should thank this guy over here for it!

4323137
Thanks! :twilightsmile:

And much as I'd like to, I actually can't take credit for Harshwhinny. She was one of the few parts of the IDW EQG 2013 Annual comic that made actual sense.

4323232

Except for the fact that Trixie was apparently seen doing Glee Club. With her theatricality, my headcanon is all too tempted to make her, at the very least, have tried musical theatre and failed miserably at it. Or perhaps she gets her hamminess from a secret musical addiction? The possibilities are endless! :rainbowlaugh:

4323314

At least for now, I think it's safe to say that Trixie, music and ham go hand-in-hand. In hand. :rainbowlaugh:

A very interesting bit of world building thrown into the story. I love world building like that!

Overall, I liked it very much, especially the characterization of Diamond and Silver as they were presented, it flowed very naturally from the places they were shown to come from and gave me a bit of insight into the background of the parents as well. Home schooled Silver Spoon? Interesting... I wonder why her parents would choose to do that. So many possibilities.

It was also interesting to see the fine line that Silver Spoon is walking between falling in directly behind Diamond Tiara and acting as a gentle tug in the opposite direction. I'm very interested in seeing where this ends up.

Also, the moment when I realized this is happening during the movie's events. :rainbowlaugh:

4330597

Oh, thank goodness. My editor and I were a little worried that the timeframe of the story's events might be too vague. Relieved now. :rainbowlaugh:

Yeah, I've been worldbuilding EQG for a while now because funsies. There'll be more worldbuilding happening soon -- if you wanna get up to speed on all the hints, go ahead and check out this -> this -> this, in that order. Marvel's got nothin' on me.

Thank you very much for the feedback. As much as I like writing Diamond here and finding new ways to portray her, crafting this Silver Spoon is easily some of the most fun I've ever had with MLPfic.

:twilightsmile: See you next chapter!

4330649

Spoiler tags included to protect the spoiler-conscious.

There were three cues that tipped me off:

Sunset nabbing Snips and Snails (They weren't with her in the opening introduction to her human self)

The violet girl with the star dress (Who could that be? :twilightblush:)

The CMC with their video- that they'd just put it up online was a subtle clue - though perhaps it wouldn't have as many comments by the same afternoon as the movie suggested they did (unless they have a lot of followers) by the library scene just a couple hours later. I think. The movie has a horrible within the day chronology. Or had they put it up the night before? I'm going to guess night before.

I maybe missed some references... It's been a couple months since I've seen the movie.

Honestly, I don't think you could have worked in the chronology any more clearly with the limitations of the perspective you were working with. Neither Diamond Tiara nor Silver Spoon were present during the iconic scenes (except the cafeteria song and the dance... and the demon thing.) I feel that trying to put in a more obvious reference would have felt clunky.

Even so, unless you plan on referencing the events later, I think the story would stand well on its own regardless of the timeline.

Also, added to my short read list! I'll get to reading them this weekend. Three day weekend! :eeyup:

4330723

Yep, you've caught them all so far. Good work. :raritywink:

Oooh! Enjoy your weekend!

Thank god this doesn't have a Complete Tag on it because I totally groaned in disappointment that I had nothing left to read after that rather sweet ending. I like how DT helps her get that social anxiety thing more in-check.

Anyhow, the EQG backstory stuff was probably some of the best I read in how Sunset 'acquired' those two clunkers - Snips & Snails. From there on the story was a non-stop enjoyment. The flow was pretty well paced, Di and Silvy were very alive in this story and it pleased me to no end reading such a fine story. xD

I look forward to more. Soon, I hope! <3

4331259

Oh, no, this is just the beginning. I have plans for our girls. If you thought things were sweet now... :scootangel:

Anyway, thanks, and glad you're in for the long haul! The story's actually mostly done, but there's a lot of editing to do. So it'll take some time, but it won't be, like, a glacial pace or anything.

4331345 Oh, thank goodness! :rainbowlaugh:

An episode a week would be sweet. :twilightsmile: Though if you mean sooner than a week then I'd be pretty impressed! :pinkiegasp:

You are quite delightful indeed, Bookish. I tend to be busier now a days but I'll try not to let updates get buried in the feed :P (I so wish there was a Story and Blog button to see only blogs, story, then story updates. We have similar options for other things.)

4333323

Well, we could always go back to the old version. You know, the one with SilverBot? :trollestia:

srsly just read it

This story is 100% Diamond Cutter approved!
oi58.tinypic.com/bgvbkg.jpg

4338990

:yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay:

...also best button ever

The writing style is a tad weak, and while the world-building is good, the opener doesn't quite grip me. I get you're trying to start a snowball effect, beginning as something small only for it to grow into something huge and out of control, but the opening is still a little slow.

It's great background setup for the movie it's based on, but at this point I dunno... :applejackunsure:

4388740
Thank you for your honesty. I can't do much about the pacing, basically since I already did. You should have seen this before overhaul and edits. :rainbowlaugh: The awesome will happen when it happens.

I will say I'm more curious about the "weak writing style" bit. Can you elaborate if you can? PM is fine, or here.

Thanks!

4390074

I can't do much about the pacing, basically since I already did. You should have seen this before overhaul and edits.

Oh, don't I know it. I always go through like, five edits before submitting it to an editor for one final go. Sometimes the first draft is so wrecked I just toss it out and start from scratch.

As for weak writing, general examples include things like

* Not writing in terms that appeal to all the senses. Sights, smells, what you can hear, etc. The best way to put a reader into the story is to write them as if you were there yourself. The simplest way is to write in a way that appeals to the human senses. So that hallway scene right in the beginning? I can imagine there being the dull murmur of students, maybe Snips and Snails smell a bit funny today, and so on. This leads to another facet:

* The environment is just as important as the characters. And by environment, I don't just mean what's physically around the characters, though to an extent that's important too. What's the feeling in the air of a particular scene? I can't imagine Miss Harshwhinny's history class being too friendly. Maybe everyone enters in complete silence under her domineering eye. Things like that.

* The characters get little description. There's bits and pieces where you DO describe a character, which is good. But there's good and bad descriptions: too much and you're invading the reader's imagination, too little and the reader doesn't have much to work with. I get that this is a fanfic and we wouldn't be reading this at all if we didn't care about characters whose appearances we already know. But at the same time, it's very good writing practice to describe a character as if the reader has never seen them before.

As you can see, the "weak writing" in this case is just missing some small details. But you know what they say about small problems: they tend to pile up and become one BIG problem.

Loved this story, cannot wait for the next chapter! I'm gonna have to agree with Brony_Fife, you could use a lot more description. (it's something I struggle with a lot as well.) I love your dialogue and characterization. The references to the EQG movie were cool. Just work on your description, which god above knows, is easier said than done.

Keep on rocking.

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Thanks for the input, both of you. I'm very much a dialogue and character author, and I've only been getting the hang of adding descriptive elements into my work over the last couple of years. Sometimes it clicks, sometimes it doesn't.

Part of this is (and I've talked with you about this before, Fife) that I've seen too many stories -- many of them "critically acclaimed" in the fandom -- so bogged down with the environmental and descriptive details that the characters and plot get completely lost and I fall asleep entirely. The key, of course, is to relate those details to the characters, but one of my biggest goals whenever I sit down at the keyboard is to write the stories that will personally keep me awake. Sometimes things get a little barebones, and usually I have to go back and add things in later drafts.

As I keep writing, I'll do my best to find a balance. :twilightsmile:

4432468 Finding that impossible balance is difficult to do. But I think you can do it. You just need to put the effort in and be aware of the problem. That's what helps me.

It's a risky game, attempting to plug us into the perspectives of characters traditionally viewed as antagonistic. Most of the time, that's done by finding (or creating) a previously-unseen side of them that is easier to sympathize with than what we are accustomed to, but riskier still is what you seem to be going for here. Rather than soft-peddle Tiara's abrasiveness, you instead plug us right into it, and allow the intimacy of her perspective to help us understand it better without necessarily excusing it. I'll be curious to see if this 'fic continues on that trajectory; there's not much of a story, after all, without some kind of arc to it, and the name of the whole thing is "Tiara Turnabout", after all. One way or the other, though, it means we're off to a very fascinating start.

It helps that your world-building here provides a really solid backbone to the whole thing. I appreciate the ways in which you extrapolate and build on "Equestria Girls"' broad-strokes look at the social hierarchy of Canterlot High, giving us a really clear sense of just how things work around these parts. Seeing the delicate, and more than slightly imbalanced, alliance that exists between "Queen Bee" Sunset Shimmer and "Prinfess" Diamond Tiara is especially well done; indeed, their scene together, while brief, is one of the most fascinating thus far. That sense of "there's always a bigger fish" is really keenly felt, and seeing Sunset coerce and push Diamond around helps us to understand that much better why Diamond is so determined to be on top of everyone else and get the chance to dish it out to others, as well as just where she's learned her best tactics from (it's also one of a handful of clever little ways to clue us in as to just when this takes place in relation to the actual "Equestria Girls" movie, but that's a bonus x3). I especially liked the notion that Sunset is "borrowing" Snips and Snails to be her muscle from Diamond; it not only serves as a nice explanation for what those two are doing around her in the movie, but gives us a pretty good grip on just how things are run around here. You never quite push it into "so that's why she's like that" territory, mind (you save that duty for another, subtler element we'll get to later); like I say, this doesn't yet seem like a story meant to soften Diamond to make us appreciate her more, but rather help us to make sense of who she is already, and you can tell by the way she bristles at having to cow-tow to Sunset's demands that Diamond was already behaving in much the same fashion before the older bully came along to disrupt things.

Which is part of what makes your ability to have Diamond so quickly try to assert herself into her "proper" place once Silver gives her the opportunity so effective. Your Diamond is a really fascinating animal thus far, and your prose and dialogue both do excellent work at defining who she is and how she thinks in very compelling fashion. It's a strength of yours I bring up often, your grasp on Character Voice, and the nature of the character in this case makes it all the more indispensable. This is especially true when it comes to your grounding Diamond's behavior in a coherent world view; the many little hints and touches you put into the prose to demonstrate the ways in which her upbringing have informed her personality and actions are nicely played and wonderfully organic to the flow of the story, especially because Diamond herself is rarely anything other than entirely casual about it (the way that she immediately identifies Silver, not by who Silver herself is, but by who her father is, was an especially striking moment to me). This isn't some all-powerful Force that she weighs with each and every action and thought; her affluence and state of living are so ingrained to her at this point that they're really just a part of her daily business, not worth really considering or thinking over. "So that's why she's like that", in other words, becomes less a matter of simple "Event A led to Behavior B", and instead acts as an underlying element, not fully visible but clearly present even so: she knows, beyond any shadow of a doubt, How Things Are, an order as natural to the world as breathing or the Sun, End of Story. It gives Diamond a believable psychological profile that fits the character as we already know her perfectly.

Equally intriguing is your Silver Spoon. We're not given quite the same insight into her perspective here as we are Diamond's, but we get a pretty keen look at her even so, and it's intriguing to me the compare-and-contrast going on here. It's pretty clear that while she shares some of Diamond's beliefs, she doesn't necessarily share her overpowering conviction, and the little moments where we see a gentler, more doubtful side to Silver surface are some of the most potent of the chapter. I especially love that moment when Silver admits why she never visited Diamond before even though they're technically neighbors, only cutting herself off when it comes time to genuinely admit how she felt. It makes for a very interesting dynamic between the two characters; both are trying to size each other up, and I get the sense both value the other's approval at a certain level (though in different ways and for different reasons; Diamond pretty clearly likes having someone around who can validate her sense of self-superiority, whereas Silver is more interested in having someone who wants to keep her around), so even as they're forming a companionship here, there's a certain air of tension to the whole thing even so.

I think the thing I'm most fascinated by, overall, is how you're willing to treat characters we're normally used to seeing as protagonists. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, Twist, even Twilight to an extent...you show us how they look to Diamond without flinching, and even as it can be a little saddening at times (even as we get how Twist "earned" Silver's rebuttal, it's hard not to feel badly for her attempt to stand up to someone who commands a lot more power than she does, whether that someone is fully aware of it or not, go so poorly for her), you sell it fully with the strength of the perspective you've already given us into Diamond and Silver's viewpoints and with the strength of conviction in your writing. You can actually buy into the notion that the Cutie Mark Crusaders' antics, usually viewed as endearing despite its hopelessness, could all too easily translate into something genuinely annoying and off-putting for others, or show the way in which Twist, right though she may be to get indignant, has nonetheless crucially misjudged Silver Spoon because of the airs Silver puts on. There's no obvious "tell" here to let us know who's "really" right or wrong as most other stories of this type would most likely include, no wink or nudge to the audience to let us know everything's OK.

Which is what sells this whole story thus far, honestly. You're playing around with subtleties and nuances that most writers don't usually consider when it comes to this duo, attempting to flesh them out in a way I really haven't seen before. It's yet another in a long line of highly-successful attempts to play some very interesting games with the tools "Equestria Girls" gave us, and thus far it's one I'm very excited to see as it continues to expand and unfold. :D

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:rainbowlaugh: This is why i like having you around, dude. You've pretty much decoded everything I've been going for here. All that's left for you is to sit back and watch the happy drama unfold.

I'm glad you noticed and liked the conflict between Diamond and Sunset. A shame I can't take credit for it -- this is entirely due to my editor. She has this amazing way of looking at a story I give her, then pointing to some random place on it and going,"hey, did you know there's an even better story hiding here?" And then I go "zomg you're right" and then stuff like this happens. It has never not happened. You'll see it happen again in next week's Trixie fic. It's getting kind of scary actually

As for the rest, yeah, I'm doing a whole lot of experimenting. Unfortunately, since it's the Adorabullies (and human ones at that), it's not going to have as much of an audience as a Rainbow Dash shipfic or something, but there's no way I'm not going to finish this. If I actually manage to pull off what I'm trying to pull off with these two, it's going to be one of the best mad science character experiments I've ever performed. :pinkiehappy: See you when I do.

As usual, much thanks for the review.

4439175 Hey, always happy to be of service. <3

And hey, kudos to your editor for the call, it was a good one! All due credit to them, but I do still feel like extending you the credit for executing it so efficiently; you have a very good, particular style for handling strong relationship dynamics, friendly or otherwise, and it shines through pretty clearly in the Diamond/Sunset scene, at least to me. Still, nice t'know you have an editor as awesome as you are helping you out. :D

...also, a TRixie story? Next week? I AM EXCITE. 8D Heck, I don't think you've done a Trixie 'fic since "Infinity Climax Unicorn" (or "Trixie vs. The Gala", if we don't feel like counting Bayonetta-flavoring in there x3; ), have you? Can't wait. ^3^

Good on you for that, too. I really do appreciate what a unique perspective and proposition this whole story is; not just an "Equestria Girls" 'fic, not just a Diamond/Silver 'fic, but one that wants to treat both those things honestly and respectfully rather than necessarily try to subvert or "fix" them the way others might. It's a bold move, but it's oh-so-Bookish when you stop to think about it, and I rather love it for that. ^_^

As usual, much thanks for the story. :heart:

So whens the next chapter plan to come out. I don't know why, but I l

Awsome story. When's the next chapter coming out? I wouldn't mind pre-reading if it helped. I don't know why, but I love DiamondxSilver stories

"But you do know NorthTech'th taking over thith city bit by bit, right?"

Hel-lo... :trixieshiftright:

"The feel of Queen Sunset's lovely fist against my cheek is something I've dreamed about for ages-"

What's this, Bookish? Projection? :trollestia:

Interesting backstory for the town. Do the Apples still count as the town's founders all those years ago?

Also, I revise the pic from the other comment I made:

"But you do know NorthTech'th taking over thith city bit by bit, right?"

sp7.fotolog.com/photo/7/51/80/x_diegollica_x/1241285274691_f.jpg

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Since EQG takes place in Canterlot, the Apples (at least in my mind) play a slightly different historical role this time around. They're still old-school, but things have been shuffled a bit. I might be able to work it in, but we'll see.

5980582 I see! Looking forward to see what the difference is :)

a phone with a prominent picture of an apple as its wallpaper, and a stylized star engraved on the back.

Well that's an interesting switch.

"Baby singing coming from a bunch of babies who don't know when to stop squealing like their mommies abandoned them!"

"Yeah, you'd know all about that, huh," Scootaloo muttered under her breath.

Ouch, low blow Scoots, low blow.

This was really 2014? Feels like it was 2013. My, I must live in a hyperbolic time chamber or something. Everything seems older than they really are. xD

When more chapters? We need more SilverTiara romance fics Q_Q TT-TT

Wait......what?

Where's the rest?

Where's the rest?!

WHERE'S THE REST?!

Let me check when this was last updated, or published I guess...............




NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And yet I will still add this to tracking.

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but there's no way I'm not going to finish this.

...*crickets*

I went and found this after that last SS/DT fic prompted me to see if you'd ever done anything else with them, and as I sit here in an airport waiting lounge picking low-hanging fruit off of my read list, I've gotta say, it still holds up. Don't think I've seen anything else use EG1 as a background element to someone else's story, and it makes for a cool setup.

So 'NorthTech' needs us even more than we need them.

Except Silver, given that they're probably your biggest customer, you most definitely need them to keep afloat, and you certainly can't cut the off without hitting significant legal consequences (probably). And NorthStar is looking for new suppliers last I heard (in another story)...

Lovely story, hoping for an update soon :)

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