• Published 14th Oct 2013
  • 4,985 Views, 134 Comments

Journal of a Royal Guard - Mr101



"Be a royal guard, mother said... do your part for the kingdom, mother said... I'm sure you won't have to deal with evil princesses, chaotic gods, stuck up princes, troublesome brats and failed invasions! I hate my job...

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Entries 16-17

July 31st, 1DR


I hate hospitals.

I know that they help people and yadda yadda yadda but fuck me is it boring as hell being a patient. I spent seven days in there doing bugger all.

No women to smooze, no booze to drink and no smokes!

It was horrific.

And screw these damn nicotine patches the doctors gave me, they suck compared to the real thing. At least I think so anyway.

But yeah, hospitals suck, not drinking sucks you get the jist.

Anyway, I got out of hospital on the thirtieth and you may be wondering where the entry for that day or the week in hospital are. Well, as I already explained, there was nothing to do in hospital so I didn’t bother writing a journal entry because it would have literally been me saying.

Got up, ate food, thought about slapping a nurses’ arse, went to bed.

Exciting shit, right?

So yeah, that was basically it for a week. I did get the odd visit from my parents and even my brother. For about half an hour. The wanker was bragging about taking this chick out for the night on the town. He enjoyed rubbing it in my face very much.

Faust I hate him.

One thing that did sadden me a little was Captain Moon Dancer wasn’t able to come visit again, duties and all that. But then again, this was countered by the fact Dewdrop didn’t come by again.

Though, knowing that little demon. He probably came around when I was asleep or something.

Anyway, I got discharged today and told to report to my local doctor if any signs of the poison persistence. I had to go and meet up with both Captain Moon Dancer and Captain Shining Armor to let them know I was back up and running. Then Captain Shining Armor irritatingly reminded me that I am off for a bit to spend time with my family as they are here for the week.

Bollocks.

Still, there was an upside. A major one.

I’m getting transferred to the Lunar corp!

Well… temporarily anyway.

Ever since that bounty business, Captain Moon Dancer pulled some strings and got me transferred so she can keep an eye on me as well as train me in a more advanced form of hand to hand combat as well as some things she’s learned over several years.

Can I get a hell yeah?

But truthfully, I’m a little scared. I met up with some of the lads from my old Solar Corp before I came home to let them know I was okay and we laughed and joked about the price on my head, given I wasn’t the greatest guard when I signed on. We had good laughs about it but all the time we were laughing I…

I felt a little scared.

I mean, when you look at it, a bounty on your head, and at this price, isn’t really a laughing matter, is it?

I don’t know how to really feel about this. I’m going to try and not think about it too much. Don’t want to be one of them paranoid old bastards who looks over their shoulder every single minute, do I? It doesn’t help me that for a while I’m going to be shadowed by an agent of the Royal Security Bureau. Just as a precaution.

Tomorrow I’m going out to eat food with my parents and my brother at a restaurant, and I get the this going to go horrible.

~Copper


August 1st 1DR


It’s official, I’ve fallen for her. I’m in utter love.

Let me explain.

As I wrote in my last entry, I had the… delight of enjoying a evening meal with my family to look forward to as I was discharged yesterday. As I had time to kill, and I didn’t really want to be sat around all day waiting to go out I decided to go and visit the town.

It was, for the most part, fairly uneventful. I did get recognized by a few people from my ceremony who I chatted with for a bit. Was rather boring, to be honest, couldn’t give much of a shit about their lives at that point.

But fuck me, did it feel so good to be seen as a hero. I don’t care, I’ll admit it, my ego was getting jerked off majorly, spraying my amazing essence all over the people. And I loved it.

But, as luck would have it. That Was short lived.

He found me. Dewdrop.

Admittedly, it wasn’t too bad, he kept his talking to a minimum and he was on duty at the time so he couldn’t stay for long. But it was still irritating, especially how for whatever fucking reason, people thought he was my kid brother.

I tried to explain he was the spawn of a succubus’ wench, but they just laughed it off as sibling banter.

Pricks.

Anyway, I was aware after sometime I was being followed. Thankfully, not by one of the many thugs in this town, but by an agent of the Royal Security Bureau. No doubt the agent I was forewarned would be keeping an eye on me. From what I was told, I was not to engage with them, make eye contact with them or just not acknowledge them in general. Which was difficult because this Agent was a woman.

And by woman, I mean fit woman.

Fit meaning, a fucking nice rack and rear.

I feel as if I noticed this particular frame on women more than others. Sue me, I’m perverted.

Anywho, I decided I wanted to go and see Captain Moon Dancer. See if she wanted to do anything if she was free.

Again, just me luck, she wasn’t.

I bumped into her as she was patrolling the market district with a couple of other guards. She greeted me with a friendly hello and told the other two to go on ahead and she’d catch up. We exchanged pleasantries and I stupidly slipped out an invitation to join me for dinner with my family.

There was a moment of silence which soon became a little awkward before she made an excuse as to why she couldn’t and abruptly left.

Bugger me, right?

A little dejected, I did admit that going to a bar to get drunk seemed to be a good plan to do, even if it was the middle of the afternoon. I Decided against it, reluctantly, and debated ringing up Berry Punch to see if she could do it. But, again, I decided against it because I honestly had no idea how that conversation would have ended, and I eventually decided to just go home and wait.

So that’s what I did, I spent the next few hours drinking some coke, playing a few video games and… other things.

Hey, I’m a single batchelor. Man’s gotta do what a man's gotta do, am I right?

So, after a boring afternoon, I get myself all nice and fancied up.

The restaurant is high class after all, and I look damn fine in a tux if I do say so myself.

Seriously, I could sometimes marry and fuck myself.

Getting back on track, I arrived at the restaurant after being picked up by an escort comprising of the Agent, now dressed as a chauffeur and driving the car. Upon arriving, it looked as if I was early so I decided to go and wait at the table.

Alas, my timing was off, and my family were already there. My brother with a shit eating grin, as his girl he had been going on about was also there. Only reason I got annoyed by that was my mother’s continual going on about how I need to find a good woman, how I should think about settling down ecetera ecetera.

Faust could have killed me there and then and I would have been delighted.

However, sometimes it’s just one of those days where Lady luck, that sexy bitch, smiles down upon you.

As mother was talking, I noticed my father’s and brother’s eyes widen as they spotted something behind me. I turned to see what had caught their eye when my mouth involuntarily dropped and my eyes felt like they had bulged out.

Standing behind me, a foot or two away, was Captain Moon Dancer.

Holy. Fuck.

I could have nutted right there and then I was so taken aback by her appearance.

Remember how I said she was fit as fuck in her armor, not to mention her civvies?

Well, she was wearing a proper tight fitting, ankle length midnight blue dress that hugged her body so well, it one hundred percent made her large arse and huge rack sick out so much that you could mistake her for someone who wasn’t in the guard. A matching bag was dangling on her right arm as well as some exquisite looking high heel shoes and she had a delightful shade of purple lipstick on. All eyes were pretty much on her as I shamelessly soaked in all of her curves and details. Then she said something, which my God, made me so fucking happy.

“I’m sorry, I’m late. Copper, I didn’t keep you waiting too long, did I?”

Those were her exact words as she sat down beside me. I knew I was grinning like a shit lord, and I didn’t care. Primarily because of how Moon looked, the fact she had turned up at all.

Oh, and the death glare my brother’s date gave him as he stared at my date's tits.

Though, that’s in contest with the fact I could tell by the vibe I got from Moon Dancer that she indeed knew he was staring and would do something about it later.

Anyway, the meal went so well I thought I had died or something. The Captain could easily be an actress as she answered all my mother’s questions, well, more like my mother interrogated her, but still. It was kinda funny to see father speechless for once, not to mention my brother.

Not a lot happened, really, except the food was good, the company was brilliant and all in all it was a good meal.

Oh, and the Agent was our waiter. Those fucks at the Royal Security Bureau are dedicated I’ll say that much.

When we had finished, I bid my folks farewell, and couldn’t help fucking laugh quietly to myself as my brother’s date slapped him across the face and stormed off with him running after her apologising.

The Captain walked me home, with the Agent still tailing us, now back in civvies, till we got to my house.

Then it got weird.

Sort of.

At my door, I offered her a cup of coffee, which was me fishing for some form of chance I guess. But rather than decline, she suddenly grabbed me by the scruff of my collar and slammed me into my front door and locked her lips to mine.

I was pretty taken aback, I must say.

Still, I went along with it and wrapped my arms around her waist as we made out. Must have seemed like hours before we stopped to catch our breath before resuming.

And this is where I am particularly proud of myself.

I decided to not give a fuck and throw caution to the wind, and slid my hands down her waist and firmly squeezed her arse.

Like fucking gripping firm but plump pillows.

I expected a knockout punch in response, however, she made a soft moan into my mouth and actually arched her arse out a bit. So, taking the hint, I fondled that fluffy plump butt for all it was worth, not caring I was pretty aroused and it showed.

Suddenly, however, she pushed off me and slapped me across the face. Granted it wasn’t hard, more playful than anything, but it still hurt a little and took me by surprise.

Part of me thinks she’s a little crazy and possibly has two or three different personalities.

She growled and grabbed me by my tied and pulled her nose to nose, telling me that she liked me.

A lot.

And it bothered her greatly because she had no fucking clue why. I mean, I understand why, I’m just a sleaze ball really and a lowly Corp. I decided, though, it was wise to not offer a suggestion.

She kissed me again before pushing me off her and switched from a snarling glare to a sweet smile, telling me she had a great time and was looking forward to the next. She backed up a little, giving me a playful wink as she turned and walked off down the path.

I fucking swear she shook her hips provocatively on purpose, as she looked back at one point and caught me staring at her arse.

It’s a nice butt.

I watched her leave before seeing the Agent across the street leaning on a lamppost and I swear she gave me a thumbs up. I might have imagined that.

I stumbled into my home, rubbing my cheek and noting I was still hard and decided to… take care of that as soon as possible.

And, I think it’s safe to say.

I’m in love.

~Copper