Log of Anomalous Items #1
Note from Researcher Sora, Catalog Office at Site 16:
Sometimes the Foundation collects items that are, while intriguing, do not warrant continuous or lasting research like most SCP objects and life forms. Should the Foundation come into contact with such items, report them to your immediate superior or site director for processing along with a complete list of current documentation.
Item Description: A clock with no gears or functioning source of power, yet still reliably tells time.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ██████████, Equestria
Current Status: Placed in Research Area-24’s break room.
Notes: Can I at least try and see how it works? -Doctor Stable
Item Description: A shaving straight razor with an edge far too dull to cut, yet is still capable of reliably shaving every time.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ███████, Equestria
Current Status: In Doctor ███’s personal bathroom kit.
Notes: Smooth as a baby’s bottom. -Doctor ███
Item Description: An unremarkable Equestrian bit cast in Manehatten that changes into other types of currency depending on how tightly it is held.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████, ███████
Current Status: In anomalous item storage at Site-16.
Item Description: Plastic cup with no signs of wear or damage, yet still leaks whatever liquid contents are placed within it.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ██████, Zebrica
Current Status: Incinerated
Item Description: Plastic aloe vera juice bottle. When any liquid is placed in the bottle, even aloe vera juice, it is reported to taste like grape juice.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Canterlot, Equestria
Current Status: Site-04 mess hall
Item Description: Cookie sheet where anything baked on it makes anyone speak several octaves higher when eaten. Effects wear off over the course of several hours.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Recovered by Agent Avers at a bakery in Ponyville.
Current Status: Site-04 mess hall with a notice describing its effects.
Notes: I sound like a fucking gelding. -Agent Avers
Item Description: A mana battery composed of beryllium, copper, and brass with a mean, constant output of 300 volts. Constant usage shows no decrease in output.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Discovered by Agent ████ in a Baltimare brothel storage locker
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: I’m morbidly curious about the story behind finding this. -Doctor Silva
Item Description: A single auburn mare hair measuring 55.7 centimeters (21.92913 inches). Item has proven unbreakable in every known stress test.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ███████, Equestria
Current Status: Used as a garrote by Mobile Task Force Beta-4 (“Storm Chasers”).
Item Description: A single bronze-colored Griffon feather that writes with iron gall ink, despite not being dipped in ink of any kind.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Desk of clerk ██████ at the Equestrian embassy.
Current Status: On the desk of Assistant Director Zed, Containment Area 23.
Item Description: Roll of duct tape that always sticks to the one who peels off a strip, regardless of how carefully it is removed.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: A hardware store in Fillydelphia.
Current Status: Incinerated with extreme prejudice.
Notes: Are we sure maintenance isn’t just clumsy? - Doctor Silva
Item Description: An unremarkable sheet of Hearth’s Warming Eve music that sings to whomever looks at it.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: In a self storage locker in the Manehatten slums.
Current Status: Shredded. Remains show no unusual or anomalous properties.
Item Description: A 7x7 centimeter mirror that reflects all light across its surface directly into the eyes of the closet individual.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: In a Crystal Empire Castle lavatory.
Current Status: Incinerated
Item Description: A bottle of fifty (50) chemically accurate █████ brand codeine painkillers. The tablets in question seem to only operate on the placebo effect and are not chemically triggered once swallowed.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ██████████, Equestria
Current Status: Site-16 medical wing.
Item Description: A golden scepter equipped in the likeness of a unicorn female at the head and contains an octagon cut garnet at the base. When held, the wielder hears voices in a child’s tenor describing various methods to eliminate those in the immediate vicinity.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED]
Current Status: Item in question was thrown into Site-04’s trash compactor and subsequently destroyed. Agent responsible has been summarily reprimanded for destruction of Foundation property.
Notes: Fucking thing should have stayed in the garbage. -Agent Witherwings
Jufn Eftdsjqujpo: B tuboebse #2 hsbqijuf qfodjm uibu, xifo ifme, jotufbe pg xsjujoh uif joufoefe mfuufs, gpsdft uif ipmefs up xsjuf ps uzqf uif gpmmpxjoh mfuufs.
Ebuf pg Sfdpwfsz: ██-██-████
Mpdbujpo pg Sfdpwfsz: Nbofibuufo tqfdjbm offet tdippmipvtf
Dvssfou Tubuvt: Jodjofsbufe
Opuft: Xiz epft uijt uijoh fwfo fyjtu? -Es. Tjmwb
Staff, please note that it is a breech in professionalism to organize reports while under the effects of memetic, especially infohazard, SCPs, even minor, anomalous ones. -Researcher Sora, Catalog Office
Item Description: A 3x3x1 centimeter lodestone that only sticks to cutie marks instead of magnetized surfaces.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery:In the possession of a bounty hunter office on the border of Equestria and the Badlands.
Current Status: Used in research with SCP-███
SCP Foundation Homesite
Foundation Log of Anomalous Items
Pre Readers: The amazing Softy8088
Stats
Page generated in 0.032 seconds
Total duration
1,044 users online
1,869,660 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
How in fuck were they able to find this?!
e_o
Would be rather easy to solve really, but I don't have time and I'm too lazy. Still made me crack up quite well.
The timing of this chapter was nice, I'm only 10 minutes away from starting my English-test :D
Aww, none of the ones I submitted made it into this list. I though the book was interesting, at least...
3879134
Anomalous items are different from SCPs. As the clerk stated, these are too "boring" or mundane to have an official SCP register.
3879146
Ah. So, you mentioned at one point you wanted me to elaborate on some of the SCPs I submitted. As I stated then, please pick one, so I can PM the full length history of it. I never got an actual response to that, so I'm guess it got buried int he storm of other PMs from everyone else.
3879152
I was just in no way prepared to do what I am attempting to do now. I finished Nightmare Night and that blog post right before the cusp of the grind that comes with encroaching final exams. I didn't forget. I just couldn't do anything even if I had that info. After I finish up the cupcakes entry, I should be good to go.
3879180
Ah, alright. If you send me a PM detailing the ones you wanted, to refresh my memory, I can get to writing them up for you.
I... I don't even...
3879731
3879186
If you two are still confused as to what this is, I'll explain. There are eight object classes in the Foundation: Thaumiel, Keter, Euclid, Safe, Neutralized, Decommissioned, Explained, and Anomalous. This one is based after that last one, and there is an entire archive on the SCP site listing dozens of similar artifacts. I left a link on the bottom of the document, or you can just click this and see for yourself. As the researcher at the catalog office stated, these are items that are, while intriguing, do not warrant further research. They are abnormal, but so benign that they aren't worth the effort for further research. In rare cases, an anomalous item can gain an official classification, usually Safe. The process cannot work in reverse, i.e., an SCP being reclassified as anomalous.
3883329
No I do understand, I have read most of the SCP files. I just didn't expect for the story to get updated. As in, at all.
... Piiiiiiinkiiiieeeee Piiieee~~~!!!
Ahahah, I like this! Nice light reading, this chapter.
SCP stand for Secure Contain Protect. I'm not sure if I missed anything but the only thing that they would actively try to destroy is a variation of SCP-682.
I deciphered it.
Item Description: A standard #2 graphite pencil that, when held, instead of writing the intended letter, forces the holder to write or type the following letter.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Manehatten special needs schoolhouse
Current Status: Incinerated
Notes: Why does this thing even exist? -Dr. Silva
4166008
Read the official Log of Anomalous Items. Many nuisance items were destroyed, sometimes with extreme prejudice. They are not above comedy.
Favorites are the unbreakable hair and the Twilight Scepter.
6290503 Of course, the scepter will just show up again later.
derpicdn.net/img/2015/7/25/943771/large.png
6290503
METHINKS THE UNBREAKABLE HAIR IS FAUST´S HAIR.
what is the thaumiel class ?
7933190
In short, one-of-a-kind anomalies, normally very dangerous and rare, that are used to counteract equally dangerous and rare anomalies. I doubt I am going to be making one of them.
I wonder if they tested it with urine.
Extreme prejudice. I agree with that.
4166008
The minor items are seen as too small and numerous to be of concern, and as such, employees that make use of them or otherwise ruin them are rarely reprimanded unless it was of some notable value.