Chapter 9
Chapter 9
It was undoubtedly the most elegant party that Ponyville had ever seen, and Ponyville was a town that had seen more than its fair share of parties over the years. The newly reopened Carousel Boutique glittered and gleamed like the brightest jewel, and its new business manager stood at the very center, beaming as brightly as the sun, with his coltfriend directly by his side. Both stallions were garbed in the finest suits imaginable, with matching neckties in a deep, royal purple the exact same shade as a certain fashion designer’s mane.
Also inside the boutique was a string ensemble specially imported from Canterlot, fronted by the quickly rising singer Sweetie Belle--whose services for the evening were only procured through a combination of pure nepotism and the promise of all the cupcakes she could eat. Across the room from the singer and musicians stood long tables filled with the most intricately decorated desserts that a pony could ever wish to see. Tarts and bon bons and miniature éclairs were all laid out on the daintiest of crystal platters.
And in the very middle was erected a giant tower of sapphire-encrusted cupcakes--nay, an entire mountain of cupcakes--which sparkled as bright and as blue as the eyes of the baker who’d created them.
Rarity and Pinkie Pie had positioned themselves right inside the shop’s doors, greeting each guest as he or she entered with, respectively, the utmost grace and warmest enthusiasm. Nearly every pony who came through the doors marveled at the two finely-attired hostesses, both dressed in Lady Rarity originals, and at their co-hosting abilities.
For every time Rarity’s face went slightly slack with an absence of recognition, Pinkie leapt forward to shake hooves and introduce herself to the newly-arrived pony, whose name she invariably had right on the tip of her tongue. Every time Pinkie Pie began to encroach just a bit too much into another pony’s personal space, Rarity would slip between the two, as smooth as silk, and gently back Pinkie away without so much as a hiccup in the conversation. And every so often, both ponies would happen to glance at one another at the exact same time and, as their eyes met, they would share a small, intimate smile.
It was like watching an intricate waltz, performed by two talented and well-practiced dancers. Most of those attending the party found it beautiful to behold--especially the group of four mares that hovered by the desserts table, giggling and grinning like mischievous little fillies. The young dragon who accompanied the four seemed considerably less amused, but he soothed himself with double and triple helpings of the cupcakes.
All in all, it was as fine an evening as any could ever wish to see. It had taken many long months of hard work, but as Rarity surveyed the new yet old boutique, she couldn’t help but nod in satisfaction. Everything was going precisely according to plan.
==============================================================
“Good evening, Lady Rarity.” The pale green unicorn’s mouth twitched, as if she was unsure whether or not she ought to smile. “And a good evening to you, as well, Lady Pinkamena.”
It was at this point that Rarity’s considerable poise finally failed her, and she could only stare in naked shock.
Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, Pinkie Pie jumped into the breach with her customary verve and cheerfulness. “Hiya, Duchess! We’re super glad you could make it!”
“Thank you for having me, Lady Pinkamena,” the Duchess of Hoofington replied, in a tone that teetered somewhere between dignified and nervous. “I was … I was pleased to receive your invitation.”
Invitation? That was most certainly not according to plan.
“Pinkie,” said Rarity, once she’d found her voice again. “Could you be a dear and stay to greet our guests while I have a word with the duchess?”
For the briefest moment, Pinkie’s eyes looked cloudy and uncertain. But the troubled expression passed as quickly as a spring shower in May, and then Pinkie flashed her co-hostess a quick smile. “Sure thing, Rarity!”
“Thank you, darling. I do appreciate it.”
Rarity turned to the duchess, wearing a strained smile, and inclined her head. The other unicorn gave a small curtsy and began to follow after the fashion designer as Rarity carefully threaded her way through the crowded boutique. As they headed towards the kitchen, they passed by Hoity Toity and Photo Finish, who were chatting animatedly with one another and offered them distracted hellos, followed soon after by Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis, who were speaking with Applejack and Fluttershy respectively. Fancy Pants put on one of his best poker-faced smiles as the duchess passed by, while Fleur simply gave the duchess a baleful look that seemed to be made of pure ice.
Finally, they reached the relative safety and privacy of the boutique’s kitchen. Rarity tried her best to ignore her jangling nerves as she worked to keep her smile in place. “Tell me, Duchess, how is your daughter? Did she care for the dress I made for her?” This seemed a neutral enough opening gambit.
“Oh, indeed she did. Her dress was the talk of the party. But then, a Lady Rarity original is the talk of any party, isn’t it?”
The noblemare’s tone was haughty, with more than a hint of smarm, and it made a thrill of irritation run through Rarity just as it always did. But there was something else there, something in the duchess’ eyes, an anxiety, a tension. Something that belied the haughtiness and the smarm.
And Rarity realized the words weren’t mere insincere flattery. She realized that, all this time, it hadn’t just been about quid pro quo and social chess. She realized that this was, in fact, the duchess’ way of bestowing a compliment. Her way of flirting, even.
“Thank you,” the designer replied, quietly and sincerely. “I’m quite glad to hear she was pleased with the gown. She’s a charming girl, your daughter.”
“She truly is. She’s more like her father was, I must confess, than she is like her mother.” The duchess wouldn’t quite meet Rarity’s eyes. “I received your note. It was … generous of you to say all that you said.”
Rarity took a deep breath. “It was hardly generous. Overdue, possibly--perhaps even insufficient--but not generous.”
“Even so. Thank you for writing to me.”
An uneasy silence settled between the two unicorns for a few long moments, where the only sounds to be heard were the soft singing, muffled conversation, and clinking of glasses coming from the main room.
“I don’t know if it’s possible for you and I to ever become friends, Duchess,” Rarity said at last, very delicately, “but at the very least, I should like us to no longer be enemies.”
It was then that the other unicorn finally met Rarity’s gaze, and she offered up a small but genuine smile. “I believe I should like that as well, Lady Rarity.”
Rarity returned the smile with one that was just as genuine.
“I wasn’t wrong about your little Ponyville friends, however. Can’t imagine what the princess was thinking in bestowing those ladyships.” The duchess rolled her eyes. “Although perhaps I should have been a bit more diplomatic in how I phrased things.”
Rarity’s smile tightened. For a brief moment she felt tempted, ever so tempted, to make a veiled cutting remark or perhaps discreetly tear the duchess’ dress with a well-applied burst of magic. But then, suddenly, unbidden, came the remembrance of deep blue eyes, shimmering and wet with tears--and she chose to hold both her tongue and her magic.
=======================================================
Unsurprisingly for a party hosted by Pinkie Pie, the festivities lasted well into the night and, just as unsurprisingly, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony were the very last to leave as the evening drew to its inevitable close. A proper hostess to the very end, Rarity stood at the boutique’s entryway with a still-bouncing Pinkie on one side and a slightly drooping Sweetie Belle on the other. Graciously she held open the door as the other four Elements bearers trooped past, tired but smiling.
“Thank you ever so much for coming,” Rarity trilled. “I do apologize for being unable to spend more time chatting with all of you.”
“Oh, that’s all right, Rarity.” Twilight Sparkle shifted on her hooves, to more evenly distribute the weight of the young dragon who was fast asleep and sprawled across her back. Spike was really too large to still ride on Twilight’s back, but she stubbornly insisted on carrying him all the same. “We knew you’d be busy tonight. We’re just glad you’ll be in town for a few weeks this time around.”
Rainbow Dash nodded enthusiastically and very, very drunkenly. “Heck, yeah! It’s gonna be just like old times!”
“Inside voice, sugar cube,” hissed Applejack, while Pinkie giggled.
“Aww, c’mon, AJ, what’s the big deal? All the snooty ponies left hours ago!” Rainbow’s head lolled against the farm pony’s shoulder. “Good thing, too. I don’t think that duchess or whoever really liked me that much.”
In a quiet voice, Fluttershy offered, “I think that’s because you threw up on her dress, Rainbow.”
“I told her I was sorry! ‘Sides, it was an accident.”
Applejack rolled her eyes as she began steering Dash out the door. “G’night, y’all. Thanks for havin’ us to yer fancy shindig.”
“Good night, darlings!”
“Nighty night, guys!”
Rarity watched with fond amusement as the quartet stumbled down the road--Twilight sagging under Spike’s weight while Applejack and Fluttershy leaned against Rainbow Dash on either side, in a valiant but mostly futile attempt to keep the intoxicated pegasus upright. Only after they had rounded a corner and vanished from view did Rarity finally turn around and look over to her sister. Sweetie Belle was gazing at the opened door with longing in her eyes.
Rarity couldn’t begrudge her sister the desire to go spend time with her own friends, she supposed, but that didn’t mean she particularly had to like it. Putting on her very best pout, the elder unicorn said in a wheedling tone, “Are you absolutely certain you can’t stay in Ponyville for longer?”
“Afraid not, big sis. I’ve got a really big concert in Fillydelphia tomorrow night.” Sweetie Belle chuckled. “Besides, we’re still having brunch together in the morning, right?”
Rarity smiled fondly in return. “Why, of course we are, Sweetie.”
“Great! Then I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” She leaned forward to deposit a kiss on her sister’s cheek before bounding out the open door. “G’night, Rarity! G’night, Pinkie!”
“Say hi to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo for us!” Pinkie shouted after her.
“Sure thing!” Sweetie paused long enough to glance over her shoulder with a grin. “Take good care of Rarity for me, okay, Pinkie?”
The pink pony snapped to attention and executed a near-militaristic salute. “Ma’am! Yes, ma’am!”
Rarity sighed softly as her baby sister, no longer a baby, disappeared into the night to cause goodness knew what sorts of trouble with her fillyhood friends. “And to think that once upon a time it was I who was too busy for her.”
“Aww, don’t be sad, Rarity! You know Sweetie loves you lots and lots. It’s just something that happens with little sisters. They’re like tiny, itty, bitty birds, and when they grow up, they just gotta fly the nest! Or maybe they’re more like griffons?” Pinkie thoughtfully tapped a hoof to her chin. “Or pterodactyls. Little sisters could be kinda like pterodactyls, I guess? Even though they don’t really ...”
Rarity knew full well that Pinkie could keep rambling for quite a while longer and decided she had better take action.
In one smooth movement Rarity stepped forward and kissed Pinkie Pie--kissed her swiftly and fiercely--and enjoyed the soft gasp of surprise that came from the other pony. But despite her surprise, the earth pony returned the kiss with all of her characteristic enthusiasm, and Rarity found herself slightly out of breath by the time she pulled away. She was pleased to see that Pinkie seemed the tiniest bit breathless, as well.
The unicorn smiled triumphantly. “Well, my dear Pinkie! Shall we be off?”
“We’re going somewhere?” Pinkie tilted her head, the very picture of confusion. “Shouldn’t we clean up all this party stuff first?”
“Oh, no need to bother with that. Snips and Snails will take care of it in the morning, I’m sure.” Rarity adopted a lofty, virtuous tone as she added, “The very least I can do for Snips, the dear boy, is to give him some responsibility. It’s very character-building, you know.”
Pinkie Pie raised a skeptical eyebrow.
Rarity decided to bring out the big guns. “If you want to stay to clean, that’s quite all right with me, of course ... but I was hoping to show you a surprise that I’d prepared for--”
“Ooh! A surprise? For me?”
“Only if you’re interested, darling.”
“Yes!” Pinkie began hopping in excitement. “Surprise! Yes! Yay!”
As Rarity stepped out into the brisk night air and locked up the boutique, Pinkie followed right on her heels, peppering the unicorn with questions as to the exact nature of the promised surprise. The unicorn ignored her with practiced ease as she trotted down the darkened, empty streets of Ponyville. It was so much darker than it ever was in Canterlot, except in the very seediest of back alleys, but somehow it didn’t feel cold or lonely the way that nighttime in Canterlot sometimes did.
Soon enough they’d reached the destination Rarity had in mind, and she turned towards Pinkie with sparkling eyes.
The earth pony frowned. “But Rarity, this is just Sugarcube Corner.”
“That is an excellent observation.” Rarity tittered a bit, unable to contain her glee. “Open the door, darling.”
Although she still seemed confused, Pinkie did as she was told. She unlocked the door and peeked her head inside. In an instant, the door was thrown the rest of the way open, and Pinkie Pie was bounding into the center of the bakery with a happy shriek of amazement and delight.
“Oh, my gosh, Rarity!”
Rarity ambled in at a more leisurely pace, feeling exceedingly pleased with herself and her accomplishments. The bakery was decorated to within an inch of its life, with every sort of balloon, streamer, and other imaginable scrap of party paraphernalia, in every color under the sun. In the very middle of it all was a table, covered in a tablecloth made of the shiniest plastic, which held cookies and sarsaparilla. Above the table hung a banner, large and proud, that read “Welcome to your surprise party, Pinkie Pie!”, with each and every letter printed in the unholiness that was Comic Sans.
It was tacky. It was horrible. It was a complete assault on taste, decorum, and all things beautiful and refined.
It was perfect.
“There’s so many cookies! Ooh, and sarsaparilla too!” Pinkie Pie flitted from one corner of the bakery to the next like a large pink hummingbird. “Oh, and look at those streamers! Those are such great streamers, Rarity!”
Quietly the unicorn murmured, “I know you’re not fond of Canterlot-style parties like the one we threw tonight, so I thought I’d prepare one more to your liking for afterwards.”
“Boy, is it ever!” Pinkie exclaimed, finally skidding to a half in front of the other pony. “But how did you have the time to do all this? We spent all afternoon getting ready for the party at the boutique!”
“Oh, it was simplicity itself, darling. I enlisted your assistant Twist’s help in getting the preparations ready.” It had not, in fact, been simplicity itself--it had, in fact, been a headache and a half to accomplish all this--but Pinkie didn’t need to know that. Rarity couldn’t help a small, smug smile. “So! Is this, or is this not, an acceptable surprise, hmm?”
In lieu of a verbal answer, the earth pony leapt forward and attacked with a volley of rapid-fire kisses. Rarity was quickly tackled to the floor of Sugarcube Corner and, as Pinkie’s kisses came slower and deeper, the unicorn was surprised to find that she didn’t mind being tackled quite as much as she usually might. She leaned back and wrapped her forelegs around Pinkie’s neck, breathing in the scent of the pink mane that fell lightly against her cheek. Pinkie’s mane smelled of softness and warmth and the slightest hint of something sweet but not too sweet.
The cookies went uneaten, and the sarsaparilla went undrank.
================================================================
There was only the barest hint of light filtering in from the bedroom window when Rarity first cracked open her eyes. Drowsily she blinked and wondered as to just why she’d awoken so early. Glancing around the familiar room--bright, cheerful, and virtually unchanged from the first time she’d ever set hoof in it--she took inventory of what she saw. Table, chairs, closet, balloon stash, party cannon … ah, there was the problem, right there.
The bright, cheerful room was distinctly lacking a bright, cheerful pink pony.
The light clattering of hooves from the roof above tipped off Rarity as to just where Pinkie Pie might have disappeared to, although she could have guessed even without that clue. With only slight reluctance, the unicorn roused herself from bed. She stopped by the bathroom, to give her mane a thorough brushing and take care of other general morning maintenance, before she headed upstairs.
Pinkie sat towards the edge of the roof, uncharacteristically still, her eyes fixed firmly on the hills that lay just outside of Ponyville. The first hints of sunlight were just slipping above the horizon, and the entire world hung in that ineffable, mysterious balance between what was night and what was day. Silently, Rarity approached and took her place beside the other mare. As soon as she’d sat down, Pinkie leaned over and rested her head against Rarity’s shoulder.
“Sometimes,” Pinkie began dreamily and without preamble, as though they’d already been talking for hours, “I like to wake up before all the other ponies so I can watch the sunrise. It’d be better if there was a rainbow like there was in Canterlot that one time--ooh, or two rainbows, or even three--but it’s still kinda nice even without any rainbows at all. Don’t you think?”
Rarity merely nodded in reply. She rested her chin on top of Pinkie’s poofy mane, which was as warm and soft as ever, and tried to ignore the stray frizzy hairs that tickled at her nose.
“It’s even nicer to have somepony to watch with, though.” There was a pause, long and languid. “Say, Rarity?”
“Yes, Pinkie?”
“I love you. You … you know that, right?”
Rarity froze.
She’d dreamt of this moment, dreamt of hearing a pony confess love to her, so many times over so many years. She had always imagined that it would involve a candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, followed by a walk through the palace gardens, moonlight, music, perhaps a dozen red roses. She had pictured an eloquent declaration, words both poetic and passionate, whispered in a voice that was smooth and dark and seductively low.
She had never anticipated this moment would come on the rooftop of a bakery in the cold air of dawn, nor that the words she longed to hear would be uttered in a perfectly matter-of-fact tone by a pink earth pony. She’d dreamt of princes, not bakers--of elaborate and over-the-top romantic gestures, not simple and uncomplicated affection.
“I think I’ve known for a while, darling,” the unicorn said softly, closing her eyes and smiling. “And I love you, as well. So very, very much.”
No, truth be told, this wasn’t at all what Rarity had ever imagined for herself.
It was better.
Epilogue
As the train rattled merrily down the tracks, she couldn’t help but sneak glances at the orange earth pony sitting beside her. It wasn’t a whim or an impulse that led her to do so, but rather a stark need, one that was inexplicably strong. She couldn't shake the nagging fear that the other pony might disappear on her all over again, if she didn’t keep vigilantly checking to make sure she was still there.
Her wings wouldn’t stay still, either, but fluttered constantly with a nervous sort of energy. It might have just been from being cooped up in a small train car, though. It didn’t have to mean anything more than that.
Every once in a while, she’d get busted. She’d be looking over, and the earth pony would lift her head at that exact same moment--and her breath would catch in her throat, as a feeling almost like embarrassment filled her up from hooves to wings. But those green eyes would only smile at her, all friendliness and joy, and she’d find herself smiling in reply almost involuntarily. Then, after another beat or two of companionable silence, they’d both turn their heads away from one another and resume whatever they’d been doing before.
Eventually, she settled back against her seat, listening with half an ear as Applejack began regaling Twilight and Fluttershy with stories of the rodeo competition. She gazed out the train window at the barren desert landscape as it whizzed by and, with a sleepy yawn, felt completely and utterly content with her world. They were all back together, they were whole, and they were all headed home. Nothing else mattered. Perhaps when they got back, she and Pinkie could play a prank on Big Macintosh, maybe something having to do with--
“Oh, my gosh!”
Abruptly she sat forward, her eyes wide and panicked, all sleepiness gone in an instant.
“What is it?” asked Twilight, the frown audible in her voice. “What’s wrong, Rainbow Dash?”
“Rarity and Pinkie Pie!” Cold horror washed over the pegasus. “Oh, man! Oh man, oh man, oh man. Rarity is gonna kill me ...”
THE END
=====================================================================
Author's Notes: As always, thank you so much for reading and for all of your reviews. I'm really tickled that so many of you decided to go on this strange little journey with me.
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I loved the epilogue, going all the way back to the beginning. I interrupted my reading of "Forbidden Fruit" for this, won't regret it.
P.S. Over???
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lskdbfV6ur1r0z1wao1_400.gif
P.P.S. Can't wait for your next project. (If you have one, please have one!)
static4.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/+_3b7cca745a59431c18889ada2952eaec.jpg
A great way to end this story, loved the epilogue too. Just might want to fix the line: “Are youabsolutely certain you can’t stay in Ponyville for longer?”
You've wrapped everything up pretty nicely, especially with the additional content on the Duchess' character. It's a good thing that you didn't make her one-dimensionally melodramatic in her return, but instead left her with some haughtiness to make her more dynamic.
The end was simple, but very appealing, loved how in the end, Rarity preferred something simple like staying on the balcony with Pinkie as opposed to what she'd previously dreamed of. Awesome stuff, I loved being along to read this.
Well that was all in all a great story. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
And so it ends... with an epilogue that is actually the earliest event in the story chronologically. Very unusual, but interesting to see that the seeds for AJ and Dash were sown so long ago.
I gotta say, Donny's Boy, that the scene between Rarity and the Duchess was not the only reconciliation between Rarity and a noblepony I have read this week, nor was it the best... but considering the buildup to the other one I read, that you came close under far less epic circumstances is still fine work indeed.
Everything else is fine work as well, from the long-awaited appearance of Sweetie Belle to the Rarity/Pinkie tag-team hosting style to the nice sorta-bookend of the two of them once again watching the sunrise from one of their rooftops. As I said before, this is now the definitive RariPie story, and it's not just because the ship is so rare; I actually look forward to seeing if future RariPie stories can match up to Seeking Beauty.
Bravo, Donny's Boy, bravo! Now onward, to [strike]Twinkie[/strike] [strike]CelestiaPie[/strike] [strike]PieShy[/strike] whatever Pinkie ship you want; you can obviously make them all work!
407325 It was for if you were wondering if ponies had feet, or hands, or anything else people put in stories that doesn't exist. Also, you can put those pony words in for the parts of the body that are involved in a scene, like grabbing a pony by the cannon or something like that. I just google imaged it, I don't study horses or anything like that
Strange little journey nothing. This was more than I could have hoped for. After seeing these two thrown together, sometimes literally, so often, I really wanted to see such a story. I mentioned somewhere that this kind of shipping, Rarity x Pinkie, was unheard of, at least in terms of a well written fiction. Someone pointed me here and after reading the first chapter, knew I was hooked, eager for more with each chapter produced. It's just so sweet, and cute, and a million other synonyms and similar words. I'm so glad I was able to read this as it grew, even when the story clenched my heart in worry about Rarity dealing with the Duchess, or Pinkie being scared that Rarity would be upset about the same situation or that she'd regret being with her. So, thank you, for writing this. I am greatly appreciative of this wonderful story.
And so ends the story that made me love Rarity. I'm not sure whether I should be happy or sad.
This chapter - and this story - had me hooked from beginning to end, and I enjoyed every second of it. I'll say again that I think your characterisation is exceptional, and it always impresses me that you're able to develop the characters so much without them ever feeling out of character. Rarity takes the cake (presumably baked by Pinkie) in this story, of course - the way you portrayed her was just beautiful, and I love the dynamic she and Pinkie have.
I think my favourite scene in this particular chapter is probably the Duchess and Rarity - it really feels like an awkward, difficult moment and you really, genuinely sympathise with her even though she's such a horrible person. You want everything to be okay for her because she's relatable - and then she spins 'round and bites at all of Rarity's friends again and you remember why it was okay to hate her in the first place. And I adore Rarity's reaction to it - she really is picking up some of Pinkie's attitude, and it shines through there better than almost anywhere else in the story.
The 'I love you' scene, however, was the most beautiful - obviously, I suppose
For me, even though it focused on Rarity, Pinkie stole that scene. The way she just says it and you can hear the little frightened hitch in her voice when she does made my heart grow three sizes - I can imagine Pinkie as the sort to tell her friends she loves them all the time, and that adds a lot of weight to how frightened she was to say it this time. Plus, I love that even when your Pinkie is being calm and relaxed, and wishing for a Rainbow she's clearly, undisputably still being very Pinkie Pie. Rarity's reaction to the statement was lovely - but Pinkie's delivery of it is my favourite moment in the story so far.
Not only that, but you made me laugh aloud several times - I loved Rarity and Pinkies 'discussion' on little sisters. Pterodactyls. That was just genius. And drunk Rainbow, as awesome as she was, was surpassed by Rainbow in the epilogue - which was a masterstroke, by the way, and ended the story on the perfect note. That had me in stitches. But my favourite line, in a humour sense?
"...each and every letter printed in the unholiness that was Comic Sans."
You sir are brilliant, and so was this story.
Thank you for writing it.
408908 I second that. Donny, please please please do Twinkie. Please. I would give you all the love
And I hadn't even realized before posting that other comment above that the new chapter was out. And that it was the last. *sigh*
I really liked this ending, even if it meant it ended. I like how the Duchess redeemed herself(sort of), Rarity controlled herself, the Declaration Of Love scene was nice too... just good all around.
Well, DB, whatever happens after this is still pretty much guaranteed to be good; You're like the third author I can say that about. On this site, anyways.
I loved it! I'm so damn happy that you wrote this story. You sir, win at Hard Mode of shipping
Oh, and all that said...
blog.cosmix.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/fsckcomicsans.jpg
How do you more than favorite? How do you thumbs up a thumbs up? you make me question these things donnie.
And the true sign that this story has affected me: I created something for it.
Grant you, not the awesome Pinkie-and-Rarity-watching-the-sunrise fanart I'd like to create, because with my artistic skills, it would be two stick-ponies watching a stick-sunrise. Yes, a stick sunrise. My art is that bad.
No, instead, this is more my level of skill:
members.shaw.ca/akrizak/images/pinkiebusinesscard.png
OK, I decided to wait until the end for letting a comment. So, here we go:
.... I loved it, simple as that. You managed to write a multichapter RariPie story, and made it credible, interesting and really, really , really sweet.
Now, the parts I loved the most:
- The Flashback scene with Pinkie and Rarity at the desert.
- Pinkie's present card.
- Fleur de Lis: "She's really beautiful"
- The conversation about the rainbow.
- Rarity ignoring Pinkie.
- Ponies getting drunk.
- Kiss!
- Rarity is jelaous, Rarity is jelaous....
- There's AppleDash and I don't hate it!
-"...and the unicorn wondered how those eyes seemed always to contain a hint of knowing, of secret knowledge. It was vaguely unsettling".
- Simple and uncomplicated affection.
- THAT epilogue.
And with all that said, there's only one more thing: GO BACK TO WRITE RAINBOWPIE AND RARIJACK!
Simply delightful.
Thank you kindly, Donny. This was definitely a step into a new direction for you, and I feel you pulled it off. Slow, simmering character development with healthy dollops of sweetness. Needless to say, I really enjoyed it.
Keep up the great work, and I look forward to whatever you have coming next!
What UP, y'all?
First off, thanks for the reviews, everyone! I'm glad a lot of you dug the story. (And if you DIDN'T dig the story and haven't commented yet--please feel free to do so. I'd like to hear from you, too.)
Second, I should make a confession: I feel slightly guilty that I threw in that stuff about Fluttershy likin' someone but never revealed who. I came thisclose to revealing who in the finale, but as I was writing, I realized it would take WAY too much time to deal with and take too much focus off Rarity and Pinkie. So it got cut out.
Still, if anyone's curious, here's the answer. (The link is a tiny url, so hopefully that means no one will see it who doesn't want to see it.)
408563
Aww, I'm honored! Thanks! Glad you liked the epilogue ... I do like full-circle kinda stuff.
And yep, there's more in the works.
408678
Thanks for the catch! 'Tis fixed now. Sorry about that. Glad the duchess scene came across okay and non-melodramatic!
408908
I liked the symmetry, of pairing the events in the prologue and epilogue. Hopefully it worked out okay. I'm glad you liked the Rarity/Duchess scene ... may I ask in which story the other scene you've read this week is? I'm always woefully behind in my reading and interested in recommendations.
And that's such a nice compliment about my story. Thank you. And ... THANK YOU for Pinkie's business card! IT'S AMAZING. And it's the first bit of fan art anyone's made for me, so I feel all special and stuff now.
409078
Ah, gotcha, thanks!
And thanks for the kind words about the ending, too. Glad it satisfied. There is TwiPie in the works, but I'm unsure when it will be finished--I've got a handful of different ideas, none of which are quite working yet, so I need to think some more on the kind of TwiPie story I want to tell.
409107
I still think "Putting Your Hoof Down" was pretty funny ... like, "Oh hey, Rarity and Pinkie? They're super awesome friends! They hang out ALL THE TIME! Didn't you know that? How could you not have known that? Weird."
I'm flattered someone pointed you to my story! Tell 'em I say thanks! I'm really glad you ended up liking it.
409123
I'm glad the Duchess/Rarity scene seemed to come off okay ... I didn't want to turn the duchess suddenly into a saint or anything, y'know? And of course I'm glad you liked the "I love you" scene, as yeah, that was meant to be the Big One ... but I'm also pleasantly surprised that you liked Pinkie's part of it most. This has been Rarity's story, by and large, and I have worried that Pinkie's taken too much of a backseat to the unicorn.
You leave the best reviews. Heh. Thanks.
And hee, pterodactyls. I almost took that out, because y'know, no evidence of pterodactyls in the show. But it's just such a fun and funny-sounding word, so it got to stay.
409383
Hee, thanks. Also, I'm highly amused at the idea of "Hard Mode" of shipping ... though that's exactly what I consider RariPie to be, and it's the entire reason I started the story in the first place.
Now, if I can get ApplePie to work ...
410309
Don't worry, though, I'm sure I'll kill some more ponies soon and then you can hate me. 
Hee. Thanks.
411141
Also, I'm not sure there's a story that can't be enhanced by adding drunk ponies. And I'm working on more RainbowPie and RariJack, I promise!
Glad you liked it, AppleDash and all!
411291
Thanks! I'm glad you think I pulled it off. And some of it was similar to previous stuff I've written--I do like using romance stories as a tool for exploring characters Learning Lessons About Themselves--but this was my first real go at writing Rarity, who is a lot of fun.
411961 spend the next 5 stories brutalizing ponies with kitchen knives, I will still be smiling because of the perfect raripie story.
411961 Haha, what I mean by that was that it felt like it had a slightly different style. It's something I watched you play with and develop through a couple of one shots, but here you made it work in a longer, multi-chaptered story. Of course, the themes are similar, and it's still definitely a Donny's Boy ship, but after reading pretty much everything you have published on this site, there was something minutely different about this one.
Then again, I am completely open to the suggestion that I am just insane.
411961
I'm now sad about Fluttershy
And I'm also sad because my "fuck comic sans" picture didn't show up"...
Oh, and a believable ApplePie? That's not just hard mode my friend... THAT'S GOD MODE!!
411961
)
Oh wow. Oh wow. I am kinda glad you didn't reveal who Fluttershy likes in the story, because that's WAY too big a thing to drop near the end. The implications of who Fluttershy likes in the context of Seeking Beauty could serve as the plot of an entire story by itself. (Sequel, anyone?
The other story I read this week with Rarity confronting a noblepony was This Platinum Crown, the sequel to The Best Night Ever. Unlike Rarity's interactions with the Duchess of Hoofington, things do end up getting rather violent in TPC, but then, Antimony is more of a threat than the Duchess.
I'm glad you like the business card; I'm not certain that I do. I keep wanting to improve on it, but I don't want it to get all cluttered. Hmm...
Well, this is going down as one of my favorite shipfics. Good job with the everything, have three happy Pinkies
Comic Sans, eh? That April Fools' makeover really got to you, I see.
Well, what can one say? It's been a delight to follow this story from beginning to end and, while, I'm sad to see it finish, I will certainly be re-reading it often. Plus, it means I can look forward to what will no doubt be an excellent next story from you, Donny's Boy.
Love it love it love it; quite an unusual ship as I'm sure you keep hearing but one you pulled off flawlessly, imo
Sad it's over but looking forward to whatever you happen to think up next
411961
I'm glad it stayed. It was perfect. And exactly the kind of comparison I can see Pinkie making. Genius, good sir.
I must also, due to this revealation, second the motion 412214 put forward for a sequel. Or third it, or however many people have agreed plus one. Though I actually wasn't disappointed we didn't find out - I think it was a neat little thing to leave in there unanswered, but I like things like that.
Glad you told us though. Now I can do an 'I was right' dance. Go Piggy!
And thank you. I'm glad you like my reviews. Hopefully they get across how much I love your stories.
A beautiful conclusion.
Nice work. 5/5
411981
Oh, I see! Sorry for misunderstanding! I bet you're not insane--I'm actually not super aware of how my writing style changes, unless I'm consciously adopting a particular style. Thanks for mentioning it; that's interesting.
411982
For reals re: ApplePie. Have those two ever interacted on a one-on-one basis where at least one of them wasn't exasperated by the other? Even Rarity and Applejack have had some non-fraught moments with one another.
I am disappointed that I missed the Comic Sans pic! Boo!
412214
Yeah, it just wouldn't have worked. I tried--'cause I liked the idea of using that revelation as a parallel/contrast with some other stuff going on in the story--but it was just too much and too close to the end. *shrug* Oh, well.
And thanks for linking to "This Platinum Crown"! My gosh, that chapter is AMAZING. (Haven't read the previous ones, yet.) That's great, great stuff. I oughta go leave a review.
412333
Aww, thanks!
412366
Ha ha! Nah, I always disliked Comic Sans--it was actually reading this McSweeney's piece (warning for profanity) that inspired me to include Comic Sans in the story.
I'm glad you liked the story!
412889
Thanks! Will try to ensure the next story doesn't suck.
413286
Hee. Congrats on being right ... though, given my previous writing, I imagine it wasn't a completely out-of-left-field thing to guess. I'm glad I left it officially unanswered, too, though. Sometimes I like leaving a few loose ends left untied--more like real life, y'know?
415815
*grin* Thanks!
416439
Closest I can think of is "Feeling Pinkie Keen", especially during the final scene.
416439
Only other time I can think of is either "Applebucking Season" with making the baked bads, and MAYBE "Part of One", because Applejack WAS trying to be nice, though Pinkie didn't know it.
416552
Oooh, yeah, "Applebucking Season." I'd forgotten about that. Yeah, they got along just fine while they were baking together, as I recall. Though I think Pinkie was kinda exasperated with AJ during their "Party of One" scene.
Okay, someone disliked this story, I want him or her found, and reeducated. With a bat. Also bricks. Oh, and thumbtacks. I am not certain how to make a powerpoint presentation with those items but we will show this person why Raripie is awesome. They will upvote.
421983
Now, now, none of that. The person who down-voted took the time to offer a detailed explanation as to why they did, which they didn't HAVE to do and which I appreciated their taking the time to do. I mean, obviously I'd love for the entire world to be enamored with my every word set to paper, but that's just not gonna happen--it's okay for people to not like one of my stories or, heck, ALL of my stories for that matter.
Thanks for liking the story enough to threaten others with physical harm, though. I think.
I upvoted (which i didn't do earlier for whatever reason
) to counteract it
And so, all good things must come to an end... I'll just go and cry in the corner for a while.
...(five hours pass)...
Alright, I'm back, it's time for a review!
I'll start by saying that shipping is one of the few things that I never, ever expected to become a fan of. I was never big on romance in the first place, and I interpreted all of the stories that were produced as pointless violations of their respective series' canon. And bringing those poor innocent ponies into it? Bah, there's no evidence of hanky-panky in the show at all! And so, my eyes would always skate right past every "shipping" or "romance" tagged story that came up, with a resounding NEXT!
The fact that I'm here now should be a fair indicator that things have changed, no? Somehow, the ever-talented pony fandom has warped and melded my brain in ways that I never thought possible... I stumbled upon this story soon after being converted to the ways of pony-shipping, when I was deathly disappointed that noone seemed to have dared to pair Rares and Pinks, my two favourite ponies by a rather significant margin. You have filled that void so perfectly that I would be content if noone else were to pick up the mantle of
again. They just work together so beautifully - of course, with the canon we have, I firmly believe that any possible pairing could be made bautiful by a sufficiently talented writer, but that's not the point.
The characterisations in this story are pure bliss. It brings an absolutely radiant smile to my face when I can read one of the stories on this site and see that the author has put real time and effort into making everything work as a piece of true literature. All too often, I end up thinking "this is okay, but the writer doesn't really get how these characters work". Not so here! You were able to precisely encapsulate why I love these bloody ponies so goddamn much. In fact, I think i now have some ammunition to use whenever anyone asks what I see in them as characters (sadly, it has happened).
And the plotlines... dear lord, the wonderful plotlines! I often avoid "FIM in the future" stories because I'm rather sick of seeing the whole "Dash joins the Wonderbolts, Sweetie becomes a singer, Rarity goes to Canterlot, Big Mac marries Fluttershy, etc" schtick played out without any original treatment... let's just say that you more than made them work, throwing cliches to the wall with gleeful abandon. I enjoyed every last plot twist far more than I should have, even though I'm rather ashamed that I failed to pick up on so many of them - particularly the Snips x Snails, that just threw me for a loop. I want to give a special shoutout to your handling of Spike - never have I seen that done so well - heck, many Rarity shippers just take the easy way out and don't include him at all.
Your back-catalogue certainly stands out as one of the greatest on this site, and Seeking Beauty is the shining light to raise above all of those. I absolutely can't wait to see what you do next, whatever it may be. It would be wonderful if you could return to this setting eventually at some time in the future, to focus on Fluttershy - and perhaps throw in a wedding or two on the side, hmm?
...It would appear that I've written rather a lot, here. Perhaps I should try my hand at this storytelling game myself!
Didn't expect the ending, quite frankly. But, it was a great story; and as with all stories, there has to be an end. Great job, can not wait to see what concoction you give us next!
422714
Heh, thanks.
430111
Ha, welcome to the ranks of the shippers. We're a strange lot but a friendly one, overall, I think.
I'm so glad you liked the story so much. I love Pinkie, and I love Rarity, so I imagine that came through in my writing. (I've launched my own defenses of both of them, too. I think the two of them can be something of an acquired taste for some fans.) Especially glad you thought the plots had something new to offer even though the general outlines (Dash/Wonderbolts, Rarity/Canterlot, etc.) are well-trod ground.
You should totally write stories! Never enough pony stories!
Thanks so much for the kind and detailed review. Really appreciate it, and I'm pleased you liked my writing.
432467
Thanks so much! If you don't mind, may I ask if the ending was merely unexpected or if it was also lacking? No obligation to answer, of course, but I'd be interested to know.
433145
It just felt... off to me. Not in a bad way, but INCREDIBLY unexpected. Still good though. Anyway, thanks for writing such an amazing fic and giving us all the oppurtunity to read somethign awesome!
433601
Thanks so much for answering! Really appreciate it. The ending wasn't meant to be a surprise, for the most part, so I'll have to do some thinking on how I could have foreshadowed better.
Glad you enjoyed it overall.
434918
My philosophy as an author is; "If you aren't happy with it, your readers won't be". I was happy with the story overall, in fact, it's definitely in the top ten fics I have ever read. So, I will be awaiting your next work patiently.
And you do not need to do any reviewing, it just caught me off guard is all.
Again I leave satisfied after reading another one of your masterpieces. I highly doubt you hold the capacity to write something bad.
Also I absolutely love how you capture the ponies personalities and mannerisms so perfectly, as well as the small but heartfelt lines you use such as
'No, truth be told, this wasn’t at all what Rarity had ever imagined for herself.
It was better.'
A completly wonderful story with a beautiful ending.
I am very confused about the ending with Rainbow Dash. Could you explain why it is there and how it affects the rest of the story?
442154
I've written some wretched things, but thank you for the kind words. I'm so glad you liked the story and especially the one scene in chapter 5.
443830
Re: Vinyl, I was just thinking that she'd do it as a silly kind of teasing thing. No real deeper meaning.
Re: the epilogue, I'm sorry for the confusion! The prologue is set immediately post "The Last Round-Up," and so is the epilogue. While the prologue was intended to show the first tiny shift in the relationship between Rarity and Pinkie Pie, the epilogue was intended to show a similar shift between Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
Kinda wish I had the energy, brain to leave a more detailed comment, but this'll have to do for now at least.
Loved the flow on this story. 'Twas perhaps slow, but in a methodical way that nicely matched up with Rarity's attention to detail. Some parts were brilliant (Rarity's surprise party was a lovely touch), some parts were a bit silly ("AJ is best pony" made me giggle, tho perhaps not in the best way), but altogether it flowed together rather nicely.
Nice work, Donny.
~Lammy
(and on a more random note: I like the way you bookended it with the events after "Last Round-up" though I had to read the comments to realize the end was from the same time... perhaps, being so long after the beginning, it needs a more obvious reference to the ep? Just a thought)
482188
Thanks so much for the review and for the kind words! You're totally right about the epilogue, by the way--should've included something in the first paragraph that made it clear that it was set immediately post "The Last Round-Up."
512173
Hee hee, no. It's Rolling Stone--I gave him the same physical description as my user avatar, and he's kind of a parody of myself. And nope, I've never lived in Pennsylvania--though I go there fairly frequently, as I have lots of family there.
512689 Crimony, I forgot. I tend to mix some of the states sometimes... it's Virginia, Virginia...
And you don't come across as someone who'd paint in all black and feel sorry for themselves.
Just from what I can tell though, I don't know your history. Maybe in high school you were one of the goths? *shrug*
513044
*laugh* No worries. Besides, both Virginia and Pennsylvania are commonwealths, so they're easy to mistake. Or something. They both get classified as "mid-Atlantic," usually, so there's that.
Heh, no, not a goth in high school, but my writing was pretty dark and angsty back then. Not so much a reflection of how I am now, though.
I loved this story. I never knew of the magic that is Raripie (Rarity and Pinkie are by far my favorite ponies).
I will look forward to more of your work and will totally check out your other pieces. Again, a beautiful and well written story.
Woa, the first RariPie I ever see.
MUST READ!
I can honestly say I have never seen a RariPie story on here (or anywhere for that matter). I might give it read...I've talked to some friends of mine and the general consensus is that my "OTP", RariJack, is a little cliche and predictable.
Congratulations Donny! This story deserves all the attention it can get, its a thing of beauty.
Donny, I bucking loved this story
I have never, ever read a Raripie story before, and I think I've only seen one or two works of fanart for that pair...but...man, this was awesome!!
I feel really, really, really bad for Fluttershy though.
I'm just wondering what happy ending (if there is one) you had in mind for her? Sequel maybe? 
Anyhoo,
+ 
= awesome.