Chapter 7
Rarity rued the day she had ever heard the word “diner.”
With every jolt and jostle of the train, the unicorn could feel her stomach give a foreboding lurch. The previous evening’s fries and hay burger sat in her belly as heavy as rocks. Of course, in addition to all that, there was the deplorable state of filth in which the entire restaurant had existed. She shuddered to even think of it.
Well, she would have shuddered, except that doing so would have woken up Snips, whose head lolled against Rarity’s shoulder while the young stallion snored away like a lumberjack. She suppressed a sigh. He’d been so excited at the prospect of a visit to Ponyville that Rarity hadn’t had the heart to leave him behind, but right now, she was questioning the wisdom of that decision.
She could only hope Pinkie would be back soon from her foray to the dining car.
To while away the time--and to take her mind off her stomach ache--Rarity used her magic to pull out a quill and sheet of paper from the carry-on bag that rested at her feet. She laid the paper on the empty wooden seat in front of her and thoughtfully bit her lip.
My dearest Duchess, she began, her quill strokes short and tentative. Hmm. Would that be too forward or familiar? Or even be regarded as sarcastic? One had to take extra care with the written word, after all, as tone could be so hard to infer. Perhaps she’d best try again. She pulled out a fresh sheet of paper.
Dear Duchess,
I must offer you my deepest apologies for the disgraceful behavior I exhibited at your most recent social event. It was unacceptable under any circumstances, as well as an insult to your considerable hospitality, and I have felt terribly about it ever since …
Rarity paused. For just a second she pondered over whether she should admit to what Pinkie had told her … but then she remembered a charmless prince at a joyless gala, whose memory was quickly followed by one of her plummeting through the air while staring deeply into the wide, trusting eyes of a young dragon. And, just like that, she knew that she shouldn’t breathe a word of what Pinkie had confessed. If she could offer nothing else to the duchess, she could at least do what she could to preserve the poor mare’s sense of dignity.
“Whatcha doing?”
With just a tiny jump, Rarity glanced up from her letter to find that Pinkie had returned and now sat in the seat beside her. The earth pony grinned widely and carried a pile of cookies, cuddled against her chest as one might hold a foal.
“Ah, hello there, Pinkie,” the unicorn replied, careful to keep her voice low so as to not wake her assistant. “I’m just penning a bit of an apology note to the Duchess of Hoofington. How was the dining car?”
Pinkie Pie eyed the sheet of paper with a furrowed brow. “Oh, the dining car was good. Not enough kumquats, but that’s a pretty common problem. Trains, y’know? So I got a bunch of cookies instead.” She cocked her head. “Are you gonna invite the duchess to our party?”
“Darling, I must remind you that I still have yet to agree to even hold a party.”
“But Rarity! How’re we gonna make her smile if we don’t have a party?”
Rarity shushed the other mare, while gesturing towards the still-sleeping Snips, before she replied. “Firstly, I’m not sure either of us are really in the best position to be bringing a smile to the duchess’ face, all things considered. And secondly, while parties are absolutely delightful, they can’t solve everything, you know.”
Pinkie squinted at her and mouthed the words “Can’t solve everything?” with a deeply confused expression on her face.
With an indulgent sigh, Rarity leaned over and placed a kiss on the other mare’s cheek. “Never mind, my dear. Forget I said anything.”
“Done, and done!”
Pinkie grinned widely, and almost involuntarily Rarity smiled in return.
“You’re beautiful.” The words were out of Rarity’s mouth before she’d even realized she’d been thinking them. “You’re one of the most beautiful ponies I’ve ever met. Do you realize that?”
And it was then that Rarity came face to face with something she’d never thought she would see--a completely speechless Pinkie Pie. She could swear the earth pony was even blushing, just a tiny bit.
The unicorn’s smile turned tender. “I first noticed it the night of the after-party, but I don’t think it was until just yesterday that I really saw. That I really, truly understood.” She leaned back slightly and gave Pinkie an appraising look. “There are so many different kinds of beauty, I am finding--and I feel as though I’ve learned more about them with you over the last few days than I have in the last several years.”
“Oh, Rarity …”
“I hope to learn much more, too. If you would be amenable to teaching me, darling.”
“I think ...” Flustered, Pinkie giggled a bit. Her eyes shone with a hint of wetness. “I think that sounds super. Really, really super.”
Then, before either of them could say anything further, a voice shouted out, “Next stop, Ponyville! Ponyville, next stop!”
“Whazzat?” Snips bolted upright with a snort. “Wasn’t sleeping in class, Miss Cheerilee! Honest!”
The two mares glanced at the stallion then back to one another before both burst into giggles. The moment from earlier was gone, but Rarity found she didn’t mind so terribly much. There would be other moments, other opportunities. Of that she felt quite sure.
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As soon as she stepped off the train, Rarity was tackled to the train platform by a blur of yellow fur and feathers. After taking a moment to gather her wits, she smiled gently and returned Fluttershy’s enthusiastic hug. One never received hugs like this in Canterlot, after all. It was best to take advantage of it while she could.
Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle’s eyes went wide as Pinkie bounded off the train next. “So it’s true that you two--”
“That you decided to come to Rainbow’s surprise party,” Fluttershy interjected, shooting an indecipherable look in Twilight’s direction.
“Oh! Right!” Twilight began nodding energetically. “Yes! The surprise party. That. That is totally what I was referring to, yes.”
Rarity gave her two friends a penetrating stare. “Darlings, is everything all right? You’re both acting stranger than usual, no offense.”
While Fluttershy disentangled herself enough from Rarity to stand back up, the white unicorn studied her two friends. They looked much the same as they had the last time she’d visited town. Twilight had the exact same mane cut she’d had from the very first day she’d set hoof in Ponyville, which surprised Rarity not in the least, and the only real difference in her appearance from those bygone days was the pair of reading glasses that hung from a cord around her neck.
Fluttershy, for her part, had her long mane tied back in a loose, casual braid. Rarity suspected that the braid was due to equal parts developed confidence--negating the prior need to hide behind a lengthy, flowing mane--and a desire to keep the hair from her face as she went about her daily chores around the cottage.
Their little group was still incomplete, however. She wondered as to how Applejack and Rainbow Dash were looking these days and, as if she’d spoken that thought aloud, Pinkie piped up, “Hey, where are Dashie and Applejack?”
“They’re both at Sweet Apple Acres right now.” Fluttershy smiled and blushed a bit. “Applejack said she’d try to keep Rainbow Dash, um, occupied while we set up the surprise party.”
Pinkie’s eyes lit up. “Oh! So Dashie doesn’t even know that we’re in Ponyville? Then it’ll be an extra super duper surprise!”
Rarity tilted her head as she realized someone else was missing, too. “And where is dear little Spikey-Wikey?”
“Well, first of all, he’s not so little,” replied Twilight, with an amused chuckle. “He’s grown another two or three inches since you last saw him. And he stayed back at the library. I asked if he wanted to come to the station with Fluttershy and me, but …” She paused to sigh. “But he told me that he was, and I quote, ‘in mourning.’ Which is more than a little melodramatic, if you ask me.”
“Oh, dear. Is he quite all right?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “He’ll be just fine. Trust me.”
“If you’re certain, Twilight … well, in that case, we’d best make the most of the time available, then, and get Pinkie’s party set up while Rainbow is otherwise engaged.” Rarity glanced over her shoulder and added, in a slightly imperious tone, “Snips! Aren’t you coming, darling?”
The other three ponies followed Rarity’s gaze, towards the open door on the train car, just as the unicorn stallion came stumbling out onto the platform. His steps were shaky and uncertain, as he was weighed down under a veritable mountain of luggage.
Twilight raised an eyebrow at Rarity, as the little quintet began walking away from the train tracks. “And just how long were you planning to stay in town?”
“Oh, just for the weekend. But you never know what outfit you might need or when. Best to be prepared, I always say.”
Pinkie nodded in agreement and replied, very seriously, “That’s why I always pack extra balloons and back-up supply of streamers whenever I go on a trip. Never know when you’re gonna encounter a party emergency!”
Twilight Sparkle blinked. “I … see? I think?”
As Twilight seemed to puzzle over the concept of a party emergency, Fluttershy quietly inquired, “Will you be staying at the cottage again, Rarity? I’m always happy to have you, you know.”
“Oh!” Rarity hadn’t given two thoughts as to her lodging arrangements, actually. The events of the last few days had taken up most of her attention. “That’s very kind of you, Fluttershy, but … well, you see …”
Pinkie quickly cut in. “But I kinda already asked Rarity to stay at Sugarcube Corner! ‘Cause, um, I was the one to invite her to Ponyville and all.”
Rarity looked over towards her pegasus friend with a worried expression. “Is that all right, darling? I know I’ve usually stayed with you ever since I sold the old boutique, and I’d hate to think I’ll offend you if I stay elsewhere.”
“Oh, no, that’s fine.” Fluttershy smiled softly, and her eyes sparkled with some emotion that Rarity couldn’t quite place. “Don’t worry, Rarity. I understand.”
The unicorn was tempted to ask just what it was that Fluttershy understood, but a side conversation that had started up between Twilight and Snips, regarding how well the young stallion had been adjusting to life in Canterlot, quickly distracted Rarity from that line of thought. Soon she was joining in on the conversation, praising Snips’ skills as an assistant and alternately giggling and rolling her eyes at Pinkie’s humorous little interjections, as they cheerfully ambled away from the train station.
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“This … is totally awesome!”
Rainbow Dash stood in the center of Sugarcube Corner, which had been decorated to within an inch of its life with streamers every color under the sun, and wore as broad a grin as Rarity could remember ever seeing on her friend's face. With a little squeal of joy, Pinkie Pie bounded forward and threw herself at Rainbow, hugging the pegasus tightly.
“Were you surprised, Dashie? Oh, I hope so! ‘Cause you sure look surprised!”
“Yeah, definitely!” Dash chuckled before turning to Rarity. “Were you in on this, too?”
Rarity smiled. “No, I’m afraid not. I was mostly just along for the ride, you might say.” She used her magic to pick up a package from a nearby table and levitate it over to the pegasus. “This, however, is indeed my doing.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes lit up. “I get presents, too? Ha! Best surprise party ever!”
Wiggling herself free from Pinkie’s embrace, Rainbow quickly took the package between her hooves and began tearing off the wrapping paper with her teeth. Rarity studied her athletic friend as she did so. Rainbow Dash’s hair was considerably shorter than it had been the last time they’d seen one another--it rather resembled that one Wonderbolt’s mane style, now that Rarity thought about it. What was that pony’s name? Sunfire? Spitfire?
“Look, guys, it’s a dress!” said Dash, holding up the garment and grinning a lopsided grin. “Never woulda guessed!”
Applejack let out a little snort of amusement. She was standing right beside Rainbow and looked exactly as she’d always looked--indeed, sometimes Rarity suspected that Applejack had been born with that beaten-up old Stetson atop her head.
Putting on a pout, the unicorn pretended to be offended. “Now, now, Rainbow. As a Wonderbolt, you surely attend many formal events and need to look your best, do you not?”
“Hey, you know I was just kiddin’, right? Seriously, Rarity, it’s a really awesome dress. Thanks bunches!”
“Think nothing of it, darling. I’m simply happy that you’re happy.”
From her position over by the refreshments table, Fluttershy spoke up. “Why don’t you go try it on, Rainbow? Um, if you want to, that is.”
“Yes, yes, please do!” Rarity nodded eagerly. “I’ve only seen how it looks on the mannequin thus far, but I think your beautiful coat coloring will look simply stunning against the dress’ fabric.”
The boastful pegasus didn’t need much encouragement, and soon she was trotting happily upstairs to use Pinkie’s loft apartment to change. As soon as Rainbow Dash had left, Applejack sauntered up to Rarity with a broad grin. “So, Rare! If’n all them Canterlot papers can be believed, then you’ve gone and--”
“Gone and made quite a name for yourself in the fashion world!” shouted Twilight, with a nervous giggle. She glanced over to the farm pony. “Isn’t that right, Applejack?”
Applejack frowned in evident confusion. “Uh, I reckon so?”
Something wasn’t right here. As unease curled up in her stomach, Rarity cut her eyes over to Pinkie Pie and raised a questioning eyebrow. But Pinkie just smiled at her and shrugged.
Rarity sighed as she turned back towards the others. “I trust that eventually all of you will explain just what is going on here?”
“Oh, yes,” Fluttershy replied in a reassuring tone, nodding.
“Explain?” blurted out Twilight, at the exact same time. “What’s there to explain?”
If Rarity’s eyebrow went any higher, it would be on the opposite side of her head. Abruptly, she whirled around so that she was face to face with Applejack, and she narrowed her eyes. “Applejack. You are the Element of Honesty. I know you’d never stoop so low as to lie to such an old and beloved friend as I am, now would you, darling?”
Applejack’s eyes went wide in panic. “I … I don’t right know what yer talkin’ about, Rare …”
There was a loud clop of hooves from above, and all of the ponies on the first floor of the bakery glanced up in time to see Rainbow Dash begin descending the stairs. She was a vision of gloriousness and grace in the dress, nigh utter perfection, as the chiffon swirled fetchingly around Rainbow’s legs with her every movement. Rarity felt a burst of pride and satisfaction as she saw how her dress enhanced the pegasus’ natural beauty.
Once she’d reached the main floor, Rainbow Dash grinned at all of her friends. “So what’d I miss? Did Pinkie and Rarity admit they’re fillyfriends yet?”
==============================================================
As the party wore on, they separated into smaller groups. By the bakery’s front windows sat Fluttershy with Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy was speaking quietly but with great animation about some new experiment in horticulture, and Twilight was nodding at appropriate intervals. Snips had long ago disappeared somewhere or other with young Miss Twist. Rarity suspected that they were on a romantic moonlit stroll. At least, she hoped they were. Snips was a lovely and lovable stallion, for all his failings as an assistant, and he deserved a bit of happiness.
Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were ten cookies into an eating contest, and Rarity was beginning to feel ill just looking at the two of them. She’d never fully understood how those two ponies could eat as much food as they did and never gain an ounce. Certainly, Rainbow had on her side the fact that she was a pegasus, and pegasus ponies were nearly hummingbirds in their metabolisms, and Pinkie never rested for a single moment while awake. Still, though.
Every so often, Pinkie would glance over and give Rarity a flirtatious wink, which did help quell the unicorn’s disgust at the proceedings--and also, much to her chagrin, caused her to blush. And for her own part, Dash would occasionally look up and grin at Applejack, who stood watching beside Rarity. The earth pony would simply shake her head, while grinning in return.
As she sipped cider from a mug, Applejack lazily asked, “Kinda gross, ain’t it? The whole eating contest business.”
Rarity nodded her agreement. “Indeed. Quite so.”
“Rainbow’s been stayin’ at the farm, y’know. Just over the last few days, that dang pegasus has nearly eaten us out o’ house and home.”
“I can’t say as I’m surprised.” Rarity smiled. “I’ve noticed an increase in my food expenses during the time that Pinkie has been in Canterlot, as well.”
Applejack chuckled heartily at that, before the two of them back fell into silence. It wasn’t like those silences at Canterlot social functions, where the silence was wielded as a weapon and cut to the bone. No, this was an entirely different sort of silence--easy, gentle, friendly. Not unlike Applejack herself, really. Rarity decided that she liked it.
“Hey, Rare?” The tentative note in Applejack’s voice caused the unicorn to glance over, and she saw that the farm pony was shuffling her hooves a bit. “I just wanted to let ya know … we were all real happy when we heard about you and Pinkie. Confused as the dickens, mind ya, but happy. We’ve been worried ‘bout ya.”
Rarity blinked in surprise. “Worried? Whatever for?”
Applejack gave a slight shrug. “Well, you’ve been surrounded by all them fancy city ponies for so long, and we weren’t real sure whether they appreciated ya the way we do. Whether they’d look after ya, y’know? But we knew Pinkie wouldn’t let nothin’ happen to ya--well, nothin’ that she didn’t cause herself.”
Rarity opened her mouth to protest the ridiculous idea that she needed looking after, but then she thought better of it. Sneaking a glance over towards Pinkie, who was laughing uproariously at something Rainbow Dash had just said or done, she replied, “I fended for myself fairly well, I should like to think. But I must admit that it’s been … a pleasant change of pace, having someone there to catch me when I take a fall.” She paused. “And it’s good to be back in Ponyville.”
“And it’s good to have ya home, sugar cube.” Applejack grinned, and there was a gleam in her eyes. “Even if ya are as much of a persnickety fuss-budget as ever.”
“I must say, my dear Applejack, that I find you just as stubborn and unconcerned with propriety as the day we met, as well.” She smiled warmly. “Don’t ever change, darling.”
“Heh. Wasn’t intendin’ to.” The farm pony’s grin faded slightly. “But seriously, though … you ever think about movin’ back?”
Rarity drew in her breath. That was a question she honestly wasn’t sure she was ready to answer. She’d felt a tremendous sense of ease and happiness ever since they’d stepped off the train, it was true, but years of work and effort and striving had been poured into building the life she had in Canterlot ...
“I mean, I ain’t tryin’ to pry. I just know that Rainbow’s been thinkin’ of coming back, and I figured--”
“Wait a moment, darling. Why in Equestria would Rainbow Dash …”
All of a sudden Applejack wouldn’t meet her eyes, and Rarity could swear she saw a hint of a blush on the farmer’s cheeks. And just like that, everything fell into place. In fact, Rarity couldn’t believe she hadn’t pieced it all together earlier. Why Pinkie had sent the telegram to Applejack. Why Rainbow was staying at the farm. Why Rainbow kept looking over at Applejack and grinning.
“I cannot believe it,” the unicorn breathed, her voice caught between a giggle and a gasp. “You and Rainbow Dash?”
“Not so loud! Besides, it ain’t nothin’ official-like. She ain’t promised me her hoof in marriage or anythin’, I mean.”
But Rarity couldn’t resist clopping her hooves together in glee. “Oh, this is wonderful, darling! Just splendid!” She threw her forelegs around Applejack, who whinnied in distress. “I’d given up hope for your romantic prospects ages ago, my dear Applejack, but Rainbow Dash may be the one pony even more hopeless than you are in that realm!”
“I’m gonna git you for this, Rarity,” Applejack muttered under her breath. “You just wait and see.”
Then, from across the room came a sudden squeal. “Dashie and Applejack are dating? Oh my gosh! We should totally throw them a party!”
“Aw, c’mon, AJ! I thought we weren’t gonna tell anypony ‘til apple bucking season was over!”
As Rarity pulled back from her hug, Applejack glared her very best glare. The unicorn chuckled apologetically and, after a beat or two of stern silence, Applejack softened and began chuckling too.
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Author’s Notes: So here we are. I’ve written a story, where I’ve shipped Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack … but not in their OTPs of RainbowPie and RariJack. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, y’all.
Do I have to turn in my RainbowPie and RariJack shipper cards now?
I’m … I’m gonna go drink whatever it is that Rarity had at the Lucky Horseshoe …
Hmm so AppleDash and RariPie now. I take it from what we heard from Spike he already knows about Rarity and Pinkie being together and is "In mourning" about it.
Once a RariJack fan, always a RariJack fan. Your card is safe for now.
Another cracking chapter. The whole business about Rarity and Ponyville looks like it could be an intriguing development.
There are stories that make you laugh and there are stories that make you cry. Then there are these that makes me grin constantley. I love it. And no you don't need to leave in your cards yet, While those are really fun pairings, it's also fun to see some varaity.
Shhh, its ok Donny, writing outside of your comfort zone is healthy, it can inspire new things. keep it up!
This is so good, and sweet. Romance! Yeah!
Also, Pinkie needs to be shipped more, she's a sweet pony, even if she is hyper.
You don't have to turn the cards in - I'll supply the other 50 so you can have a full deck instead!
I'll take those cards off your hands, DB! *cuts the RainbowPie and RariJack cards to pieces, and then hands over...* The Platinum Shipping Unlimited Card! Good for any pairing your heart could ever desire, even OT3s if you want to get really crazy, and accepted in over 250 countries worldwide! Platinum Shipping Unlimited: don't ship ponies without it!
And with that unlimited line of shipping credit, perhaps we can get some TwiShy up in here next chapter for that Full Combo Bonus?
Anyway, the one little thing about this chapter that makes me go is Applejack knowing about Rarity and Pinkie. Twilight, I expect to keep up with the news in Canterlot due to it being her hometown, and I just see Fluttershy as the type to read gossipy rags. Dash obviously reads the papers just in case they mention how awesome she is, but Applejack reading anything but the local paper in Ponyville? Of course, there's the possibility that she was just told by her other friends, and she was just covering for whichever one of the group just gossiped about it to her - DASH - but it's still curious.
And Snips and Twist together is fine and dandy, but where is Snips' bro-for-life Snails?! Have the short stallion's successes in style separated Snips from his slow but steadfast schoolmate? Stay tuned (or not)!
You need a drink you say? Lets see...
*opens liquor cabinet*
Oh dear... lets see... pretty much anything you might want (short of something with brandy in it), I have it...
Does that make a drunk? Oh well!
Oh Dash, i've missed you. Noone pulls off being completely tactless as perfectly as you do.
Or at least that's what I thought until I hit Rarity's line when she's hugging Applejack. That just blew everything before it out of the water. So now in addition to forcing me to read stories that don't involve Pinkie and Dash together you're making me question who second best pony is. I'd say you should be ashamed, but that would be belittling just how awesome your writing is and how much i'm enjoying it. So I can't even do that.
I love a lot of things about this chapter, but the thing I think deserves mention over all else is how you write Rarity and Applejack interacting. The idea that after they made friends and came to appreciate and care for one another they just kept insulting one another whenever the opportunity arose amuses me - that eventually it just became a game of who can get the upper hand that was just too much fun to stop. Every word they said is one I can see them saying - no surprise, when you write dialogue I can almost hear it in my head - and I think that in just that short conversation you managed to show just how close the two are and how strong their bond is after all these years. It was incredibly well done.
I also think that this is the chapter i've liked Rarity the most in, so far - I think seeing her relaxed and expressing herself as herself more freely contrasts beautifully with the restraints she's placed on almost every word and action (excepting the obvious) in the previous chapters. And I could have hugged you when she gave her assessment of Applejack and Dash's relationship - I know I said that already, but too many people forget just how insulting Rarity can really be. In a rudeness contest i'd actually pick her over Dash, because she seems fully aware how insulting she is. And that is awesome, sir.
Also, I love that she's trying to apologise to the Duchess of Hoofington, and not as a matter of social status. It's good to see - if I can see anyone really being able to forgive her - or at least feeling a little bad for completely humiliating her - after what Pinkie told her it's Rarity. And the moment she told Pinkie she was beautiful...perfect. I love that they come out so pure and heartfelt because she didn't try to preplan them, and Pinkie's reaction was heartwarming. You need to write books. People would buy them entirely for the AWWWWWW moments, I assure you.
Your Fluttershy, by the way, I really like too. Look - because i'm going to go through them all seperately otherwise i'm just going to say right here that I think your characterisation for all the characters is absolutely spot on. And the idea of Fluttershy as a romantic fits, to me. If that's not what you were intending her to be ignore me, but that's how it came across to me - i'm glad she seems really happy for her friends.
Also, I want to see Spike now - more specifically Spike interacting with Pinkie. That will be...interesting.
There is one thing i'm disappointed about, i'm afraid.
You missed what was a golden opportunity to turn the into a Pinkie/Dash story! I mean sure, it would have made everything leading up to this point make no sense and be pointless but the chance was there! And you could even have had Rarity and Applejack on the side. But no. You decided to keep writing a good story instead. How could you? You broke my heart today, DB.
Seriously though - my favourite chapter so far. I can't wait for more.
Yeah, where is Snails? Or the Cutie Mark Crusaders? Or the two obnoxious ones, or the fat gray one who hasn't said a word, but just keeps on creepin'.
Anyways, this chapter had me grinning through and through, and, of course, wanting more. I just can't get enough....
No worries, pal. While I have my favorite ships, I have boarding passes for all of them.
Oh my god, all this shipping! Raripie and Appledash, maybe some SnipsxTwist and FlutterTwi? Sounds pretty awesome. It's also nice to let Rarity feel what it's like to be back home for a while. Very heartwarming.
/Save reading chapter till after finishing writing post-apocalyptic grimdark for the night. /Finally finish, go to read it aaaaand site maintenance. I cried. Cried tears of uncontrollable and completely over-the-top sadness. But it's ok, because I woke up early to fit it in!
I have to say, I lol'd at RD's entrance. God I love that pony. Anywho, another really enjoyable chapter, so keep up the great work!
No, you don't need to turn in any cards, because this is awesome. I seriously cannot get enough of this story. It's so cute and adorable, and I'm bouncing in my seat as I read it. I love this so much.
I'm sorry but I'm going to switch to a dislike; as I said before this is just shipping, based on no logic or romance, and it's just not interesting enough for me... maybe not deep enough, I don't know, I just don't like it.
Luckily, since this is such a good story your cards are in good standing (but don't let them collect dust!).
353003
Ha, thanks for letting me keep my card. Hope the Ponyville stuff is/stays interesting.
353034
Glad to hear it's making you grin!
353037
Thanks, I'll try!
353097
I am pretty much of the opinion that Pinkie should be constantly shipped, 'cause Pinkie. I think it's because I'm a little in love her with her myself, and that means I can't understand why anyone WOULDN'T be in love with her.
353105
Heh, thanks. 'Cause really, I haven't been playing with a full deck ... (I'm sorry. That's a terrible joke.)
353177
YES. SHIPPING UNLIMITED CARD.
And I pretty much figured that as soon as the Canterlot news trickled down to Ponyville, the entire town would be abuzz about it--especially the other Elements bearers. Applejack would learn through sheer osmosis, if nothing else.
353223
HA! Thanks for the thought, but I actually don't drink. If you have a sarsaparilla, though ... (I've never had sarsaparilla! I should!)
353657
I've missed Dash, too! All of them, really. Love Rarity and Pinkie, but it was nice getting to write the others.
I'm glad the Applejack/Rarity stuff came across as well done. I do like how those two interact, and I love their dynamic from "Look Before You Sleep." And yes, I think I do see Fluttershy as a bit of a romantic--and probably likely to be really, really happy about Rarity getting into a relationship, as she knows that RARITY is a romantic.
And yes, clearly I should have thrown Rarity under the bus so that Rainbow could get together with Pinkie. Oh, well. Maybe next time.
353721
They are all probably Characters Not Appearing In This Story, alas. Though Applebloom and Sweetie Belle got mentions in chapter one ... does that count? Anyhoo, glad the chapter made you grin!
354043
Ha, yes! Boarding passes. Love it!
354130
Glad it was heartwarming ... I thought it'd be interesting to contrast what life is like for her in Canterlot with how it is/was in Ponyville.
354181
I love RD too! I'm glad she amused.
355451
Aww, thanks. It's nice to hear you're enjoying it so much. I'll try to make sure the ending satisfies.
355884
I'm sorry you don't like it. I've taken your earlier comments to heart and thought about them a lot ... but I just don't agree. The more I think about this, especially in context of my previous writing, the more I think this story is the LEAST shippy (in terms of your "romance" vs. "shipping" distinction) and MOST deep story I've written for this fandom.
Thanks for giving it a shot anyway, though. Really appreciate that.
356206
Aye aye! (I really do need to write a proper RariJack, sooner rather than later ... so many ships, so little time ...)
356564
...Really? The "LEAST shippy" story you've written? Maybe your shipping goggles are stuck or something, just look at the story so far:
You shipped Pinkie Pie and Rarity based on them sharing three lines of dialogue.
You shipped an original character, Duchess of Hoofington, with Rarity based on... nothing detailed in the story.
You shipped Pinkie Pie and Fleur de Lis based on 'she's cute' ...teenaged hormones that adult characters shouldn't be having.
You shipped Snips and Twist based on 'they're roughly the same age and may have vaguely known each other from school ten years ago'.
You shipped Rainbow Dash and Applejack based on you, as the author, didn't want the characters to be left out since you're taking away their normal partners.
And you even destroyed the canonical pairings, Spike and Rarity, and Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis, because they wouldn't fit with your story.
I'm sorry but this is what I see in this story and it's not good romance; and I know you can write good romance, Finding Your Rhythm, Of Parties and Rainbows, and Not Unless You Mean It all prove that.
Again sorry, I'm not here to hate your story and I can see that you are putting a good effort into it... I just don't think it's working out the way you think it is, or at least to me it isn't.
356662
I'm not Donny's Boy, so I may be wrong (note: I'm not wrong), but I'm pretty sure DB is shipping together characters based mainly on how their personalities complement each other, and simply using elements from the show to reinforce and strengthen the relationship.
I also find humour in the thought that this ship isn't "logical," since love isn't logical.
356662
I disagree that I shipped Pinkie and Rarity based on three lines of dialogue. (The prologue was never meant to suggest "They are IN LOVE, and it has been burning silently for these many, many years!" and I don't think any other reader has taken that from the prologue.) At least, I tried to show that they had similarities and experiences, plus an established friendship, which might provide a basis for a relationship--a shared appreciation of beauty, love of things deemed "frivolous" by others, etc. Possibly I failed. I don't know. All I can say is that I spent many chapters attempting to develop their relationship from a friendship to a romance.
The other romantic stuff ... well, it's all very, very secondary to the story between Pinkie and Rarity, so I didn't feel the need to show as much development, otherwise I'd have a novel on my hands. I don't think it's outrageous that adult characters would get infatuations or feel attractions, even based on nothing more than "she's cute." I am many, many years into adulthood, and I certainly still feel those kinds of things, based on nothing more than "s/he's cute." I don't think either the Duchess or Fleur de Lis stuff is necessarilly all that serious--neither is making declarations of undying love, which would indeed be ridiculous, in my opinion--and I don't think it's at all weird that characters as beautiful and charming as Rarity and Pinkie can be would have their admirers. *shrug*
Snips and Twist haven't been shipped, necessarily. They disappeared from the party, and Rarity is making assumptions. That does not mean they're my assumptions.
And that's not why I had Rainbow and Applejack get together. I made a joke at the end of the chapter in my author's notes, but that's all it was--a joke. I'm not sure how much the rest of the story will get into Rainbow and Applejack's relationship, though. (On a side note, I don't think the AppleDash here is any more "pulled from thin air" than the RariJack in "Not Unless You Mean It.")
I don't see that Spike and Rarity, and Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis, are canonical pairings. Spike's crush on Rarity is very well established, of course, but she's never been shown to view Spike as anything but a platonic friend. I might be misremembering the episode with Fancy Pants and Fleur, but while one could very reasonably assume they were together romantically, I don't think such was ever stated. And I just can't get worked up over "destroying" a maybe-romance between two tertiary characters that appeared in one episode.
Again, you're fully entitled to your opinion, and you're fully entitled to dislike or even hate this story. But I do resent the hint of condescension that I'm detecting--that crack that my "shipping goggles" are stuck was rude and unnecessary. That I disagree with you doesn't automatically mean I'm stupid or failing to see something ... it just might mean I disagree.
356564 It seemed like rather the nifty pun.
Shipping Pinkie and Fleur? It's not shipping if the only sentiment expressed was 'I'd do her if she was available', surely.
357655
I think it was a nifty pun too. A +.
357738
That's kinda what I figured, but obviously others' mileage may vary. Really, all I intended there to be was something like, "Hey, she's cute. Oh, my good friend Rarity needs a favor? And it involves sticking up for the girl I think is cute? Sure, I'm in!" Though maybe that didn't come across well. I'm sorry for that.
356731
Well, hopefully romance stories have some sort of logic--in that the reader can understand what draws Character A and Character B to one another, even if it's not logical in-universe. But yeah, the emotions themselves can be messy and illogical.
Basically, I feel like shipping is pretty open season in MLP--there are very few canon couples, and none of them are primary characters (the Cakes, Twilight's folks, Rarity's folks, etc.)--so if you want to ship primary canon characters, you're de facto required to step outside canon to at least an extent. What I try to do is take as few steps away from canon as possible (whether I succeed or not is, of course, highly debatable) ... I use canon events, I try to keep canon characterizations (or, here, to develop the characters based on their canon personalities), etc. The fewer steps taken away from canon, I feel, the more believable the end result is.
And I think any given Mane Six pairing can work, if done well. They're all good friends with one another, and romantic relationships developing from pre-existing platonic friendships isn't that rare a thing. It's just a matter of showing how the friendship deepens or diverges into romance, as the canon starting place is They're Just Friends. Of course, I think this is xgfhj's primary problem with the story (though I invite xgfhj to correct me if I'm wrong) ... that the story doesn't show its work in getting Pinkie and Rarity from friendship to romance.
I disagree, though. Maybe I'm completely delusional, but I really do feel as though this story shows its work in that regard to a greater extent than, say, "Not Unless You Mean It" (where I START OFF with Pinkie crushing on Rainbow) or "Finding Your Rhythm" (where Twilight goes from friends to smooching over the course of a few hours or less). The other surrounding non-RariPie romance stuff is, I agree, not very well developed, but that just never struck me as important--I didn't feel the story needed a big backstory as to why Fleur finds Pinkie attractive any more than I'd include that the waiter in chapter four, say, grew up an orphan.
You killed off that poor waiter's parents for the sake of a cheap example? You monster.
360484
I HAVE NO SOUL.
(I wonder if Steel Resolve will deduct more points from my account for hypothetically killing of the waiter's hypothetical parents ...)
360464
You're not completely delusional (well, at least in regards to this; we'll leave a more thorough psychological examination of you to the experts ); I suppose I didn't notice because, in regards to Not Unless You Mean It, this fandom has effectively trained me to see Pinkie Pie having a crush on Rainbow Dash, so I accept it... and in regards to Finding Your Rhythm, my own Shipping Goggles make me perfectly willing to accept any relationship between Pinkie and Twilight without preamble. Looking back over Seeking Beauty, you really have put in the effort to establish the love between these two, the places Pinkie and Rarity connect and even how they deal with the places where they don't quite mesh (practically as important for any non-doomed-to-fail relationship), and I apologize if that effort has come off unappreciated.
But Starfall's right! That poor waiter, offered up on the altar of literary examples as a sacrifice! You owe it to him to write a one-off spin-off delving into his life and history!
361097 And shipping him with Big Macintosh, of course.
361097
"Seeking Beauty 2: The Tale of the Waiter."
I should add, I think, that what I said previously is something I only apply to "falling in love" stories. There have been lots of really good stories where the story starts with ponies in love/in established non-canon relationships, and I think that's just fine if there's good characterization and depiction of the relationship. NorsePony's lovely "Darkly Dreaming Pinkie" comes to mind as an example of a story that has a non-canon relationship from the very beginning but it WORKS.
No apologies necessary, by the way. I just try not to assume that I've accomplished what I've set out to do. I can explain my motivations and say what I've TRIED to do ... but whether the story actually works as I intended is for readers to decide, not me.
361108
Nooooo. Not Big Mac. I'm thinking Soarin'. (Except that I can't seem to ever see Soarin' with anyone besides Applejack ... )
362915 We could always toss Fancy Pants his way and watch the fandom implode.
364751
Yeeees. Fancy Pants or maybe Fleur de Lis. SOLD.
369147 Or BOTH of them. Not enough ménage a trois in pony fiction.
>Author’s Notes: So here we are. I’ve written a story, where I’ve shipped Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack … but not in their OTPs of RainbowPie and RariJack. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, y’all.
And I wrote Twilight's List, but my OTP matches yours :|
What is wrong with both of us?
>“Wasn’t sleeping in class, Miss Cheerliee! Honest!”
Cheerilee
>Meanwhile, Twilight Spakle’s eyes went wide as Pinkie bounded off the train next.
Sparkle's
All that remains is fluttertwi. Get to it!
Raripie abd Appledash?
You are a genius, mgy good Sir/Maam.
I love this, it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling.
Raripie isn't my favorite, I am a Scootabelle person, but this is great.
Hey vegeta. I can't.... BELIEVE it.
God damn it Napa
Dammit Rainbow!.