• Member Since 18th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Sunday

Rarity Belle


A Dutch gentleman of leisure, living for pleasure, since mirth is my measure. Writing stories that are (mostly) unique and psychological of nature and visiting conventions whenever I can.

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Source

When Rarity receives a letter from an unknown writer, she's skeptical as all can be. Even going up to the point where she isn't even going into what is purposed.

But feelings can never be contained and that what awaits, is something beyond her widest dreams.

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Cover image credit goes to the original creator.
Romances...are not my thing to write. I have learned that lesson by now.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 7 )

Well, this was a unique story indeed. This paring was a favorite of mine some time ago before the passion I had for Pinkie died down as the well-praised Smile song's staying-power dimmed and I became like the many others who see Pinkie only for a silly mare, completely missing the maturity and profoundness in her character.

I will say that your syntax was noticeably foreign; it doesn't take a linguist to determine that you aren't a native. That said your descriptions, especially the physical ones of Pinkie and Rarity and the sunset, while grammatically awkward in places, bore a poetic nature to them that a careful reader can see.

I'll admit, however, that I did not see much deliberate logical motivation in the plot: There wasn't exactly a clear reason for why Rarity choose to make a trip over the considerable distance the capital, and more importantly, there didn't seem to be any explanation of why they two were attracted to each other at the end. Furthermore, you in effect just glossed over the possible dialogue rather than actually showing it to us. This is a common mistake referred to as "telling and not showing." We, as readers want to see the same detail in dialogue as we see ion that astounding description of the sunset you made.

In conclusion, the writing style was beautiful and almost epic despite the awkward phrasing; however, you might want to work a little more on substance.

It's good. Lacking in description and explanation but good. Needs editing though.

Impressive. This B-writer from your country approves.

3360069 0-o You're from the Netherlands too? My goodness, I didn't expect that to happen really. Small country, but strong together I suppose. Nonetheless, I'm glad that you enjoyed my gibberish words.

3360074 There's an entire group with people from the Netherlands. I added some of your stories, if you don't mind.

3360076 0-0 I'm going after that group if you don't mind. And I don't mind it, feel free too add any of my stories to the group(s) if you think they are worthy of being placed there.

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