Chapter One
"One round? How about it?"
"No thanks."
"Come on, man. Loosen up."
"I'd really rather not."
I checked my phone. 7:52 P.M. We'd been at this for a couple of minutes now. I had to hand it to Trevor, he sure was persistent.
"Okay Andy, here. Look around you, buddy. What do you see?"
Oh boy, here we go again. Another one of Trevor's hammed-up speeches.
Well, it's pretty hard to miss you, Trevor. I thought. You're the only person I know who would wear a huge duster like that, and you still refuse to shave that scruffy black beard of yours. Not even for tomorrow.
Although I mock his beard a bit, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't the least bit jealous of it. The best I can manage is a patchy goatee.
I thought I may as well indulge him a bit. "I see the same old run-down bar we've been coming to for years." Yes, The Blue Moon had been somewhat of a hub for me and my friends since the end of college. The walls were cracked and covered in tacky photos, the windows were fogged and stained, and I didn't trust half of the chairs in here not to collapse when I sat on them. The only saving grace the place had was that the drinks were way better than you'd expect.
Trevor circled his hand in a motion that signaled for me to go on. "And?"
"I see.... you guys?" I looked over our table. In addition to Trevor, there was Neil and Brian. The gang was all there, as always.
"Getting closer. What else?"
"I see... uh..." What else was there? I really didn't know. I just wanted him to get to the point.
"You might as well tell him before he hurts himself, Trevor."
Yeah. Fuck you too, Neil.
"Alright, alright," Trevor interjected. He must've noticed the glare I was giving Neil. "You know what I see, Andy? I see something wonderful and refreshing. Something you'll never be able to have again after tonight. I see freedom."
Uuugh.
"When you walk out of that wedding tomorrow a married man, you won't have that anymore. You'll be chained and confined to your wife for the rest of your life, only going out for yourself when Janice allows you to. That's why we're here right now."
"We're going to give you your final night of solitude, and we're going to make it an amazing one," Neil stated after a long drink from his mug. "I say after this, we hit a buffet. Or a strip club."
Yeah, I don't need you guys to describe what a bachelor party is, I thought.
"But," Trevor continued. "We can't do that if you won't loosen up. So, let's have a round."
"I don't want to drink right now, man," I tried to convince him.
"Oh, take a drink and quit belly achin' would you." Brian said in his thick Irish accent. "We haven't left this place yet to start the actual fun because you got a stick up your ass." Brian always did have a way with words.
I rolled my eyes. "Look, I didn't ask for a party like this."
"Why don't you tell us what's wrong then, bud?" Trevor insisted.
"Nothin's wrong, why does something have to be wrong?" was my response.
"Oh, so first he's all moody and now he refuses to tell us why? You sure this is the groom, Trev'? He acts a bit too feminine."
I wasn't in the mood to snap at Neil just yet. The idiot would've probably just laughed off my anger anyways.
"Shut the fuck up, Neil," a familiar, hardy voice adds.
Thank you, Brian. He actually listens to you for some reason. Most of the time, at least, I internally praise him.
Trevor ignored the both of them. "Is it about tomorrow?" he asked, continuing his line of questioning.
"I..." I didn't know what to say to him. I've never been any good with trying to describe how I felt. "I guess I'm nervous about tomorrow."
"Why's that?"
Oh boy, how can I phrase this right? my eyes dart around as the words form in my head. "What if I, like, screw up?"
Trevor shook his head slightly. "...I don't know what ya mean, mate."
"Maybe he means he's worried about the reception. Like, he'll somehow be stupid enough to screw up saying 'I do,'" Neil suggested with a shit-eating grin.
"No no, there's a difference between that and screwin' up, Andy," Brian continued the tangent, assuming that what Neil had said was correct. "Like, you know that footage of the Hindenburg blowing up? That's the difference."
Then the red-headed madman went right back to his drink.
What the hell kind of analogy was that? "Uh, thanks but that's not what I mean."
Trevor looked somewhat impatient at this point. "Well what do you mean, then? Explain."
I sighed in resignation. To their credit, none of them interrupted me while I tried to think of a way to properly explain how I felt. Not even an insult from Neil. "Janice is amazing. She's probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me. But, like, I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing?"
"A bit late to be getting stage fright, Andy." Trevor was giving me a look like he was about to give me a scolding. "You're not getting cold feet, are you?"
"What? No!" I backtracked. "I just... I don't know! I'm so nervous about this I feel like I'm going to explode! Things will never be the same again, and... and..."
"Calm down, Andy," Oh great advice, Brian. Like telling a sick person just to feel better.
"Calm down? I'm completely fine!" I lied at full volume, standing up from my seat. It was probably a good thing the pub was completely empty. Saves everyone from having to deal with the angered giant that was myself. No, only my friends had to deal with me right now. Although none of them seemed worried. For some reason I found that slightly annoying.
"There's no need to be over-dramatic, Barbara." You get one guess as to who said that.
"Neil, I swear to god—!"
"Listen here, Andy," Trevor commanded, interrupting me from saying something I'd probably regret later. "I understand you're under a bit of pressure right now. I understand that you're nervous, but that's all it is. Just last-minute jitters. It's only natural to be feeling a bit intimidated. Because tomorrow, you get to marry the woman of your dreams. Tomorrow is the beginning of your life!"
"More like the end of it." I heard Neil mutter to Brian. I regret to say that an annoying voice in the back of my head didn't disagree with him as I sat back down on my creaky chair.
"But with every beginning, there comes an end." Geez, and Neil was calling me dramatic. "Though you may start your life with Janice, you will lose your freedom. Nights like this will not come so easily for you anymore. That is why we are all here tonight! Tonight, we are going to make your final hours of freedom the best that we can!"
Neil and Brian gave a small cheer to that. I had to admit, he was making me feel better too. He always did know what to say to me.
Without warning, Trevor rose from his seat at our table and swiftly made his way to the bartender. There awaiting him on the bar were four shots on a tray. When he came back to our table, he brought the little glasses of alcohol with him. How he managed to order these drinks without me noticing was beyond me. The sly bastard.
"Now, Andrew. Will you take a shot so we can get this show on the road?" Trevor asked as he handed me my own glass.
I mumbled to myself. "What is it? Irish car bomb?"
There was a stiff pause before Brian chimed in. "...No, Andy."
"It's freedom," Trevor quipped.
I had heard that word too many times it was starting to grate on me. "Seriously, what is it?" I retried.
"Christ' sake! Drink it already!" an impatient Brian barked at me.
"Alright! Sheesh, calm your freckles," I forfeited.
Reluctantly, I took the poison from Trevor's hand. Brian and Neil both took their glasses as well. In that moment, I can't explain why, but all my worries just melted away. Seeing my best friends all together like this, happy and ready for fun, gave me some sort of joy I couldn't describe. Trevor, Brian, even Neil. We may have our differences, but they've always been there for me. I wouldn't give these guys up for anything.
I looked them over once more before a big, stupid grin spread across my face. They appeared eager for me to say the next words, as if they knew exactly what I was going to say.
"Bottoms up." Here goes the first of many shots.
They all approved, and finished poured their drinks down their throats faster than I could even lift mine off the table. I hesitantly glanced at it for a final split second. What was it? There was only one way to find out. Besides, Trevor knew what I liked, and If I couldn't trust my best man then who could I trust?
I lifted the glass to my lips and...
And that's about all I remember of that evening. The rest of the night could've been the best of my life, or just another average outing for me and my friends. It doesn't matter right now.
Because my earliest memory after that moment is standing blankly in a snowy desert with a bone-chilling blizzard raging at the moment. Really, that's how it happened. One moment I was sitting with my friends in an old pub, and the next I'm standing in the middle of arctic nowhere. I've never just blanked out like that, what happened?
Whatever transpired, it didn't matter now. I was currently stuck alone in Antarctica. I think. Or Greenland? That place has snow, right? Where else on earth was like this? I really didn't know. I couldn't think straight because It was so freezing. I could've been anywhere in the world, and...
...
My stomach dropped, and my eyes went wide. ...And my wedding was all the way in California!
Thoughts raced in and out of my head as I begun to panic, mainly going something like "No, no, no! This can't be happening!" Millions of profanities left my mouth, and I collapsed to my knees in the icy powder. One prominent thought stayed in my head as I remained there in the stinging cold.
What the hell was in that drink?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"The crystal guard is being re-assembled so soon?" Princess Cadence inquired.
Shining Armor looked out the window of the castle's throne room. He could see the snow falling outside of the empire's shield. "Yeah, I know they still look pretty shaken up. I guess being gone for a thousand years will do that to a pony." Shining armor couldn't relate, and quite frankly he was glad for that.
"I don't expect them to be ready for duty immediately," Cadence understood. "We should give them all the time they need to recover."
"I don't know. I'd rather we be prepared for anything," the cautious unicorn advised.
"Sweetheart, Sombra is gone for good. We both saw it happen yesterday. What everypony needs now is some well-deserved rest." Cadence responded, knowing the meaning behind Shining's words.
Shining Armor turned away from the window, examining his wife. "Speak for yourself. You still look like you need your sleep."
The caring alicorn blushed at his remark. "I look terrible, don't I?"
Shining knew he shouldn't agree with that. "Wha— No! You... you look great!"
She didn't. Her mane was frazzled, her bloodshot eyes still had bags under them, and he even noticed her magic was still barely strong enough to levitate a cup of tea. She simply looked drained.
Cadence rolled her eyes. Shining Armor was a terrible liar. "In that case, I will be returning my room." She actually looked extremely relieved to say that. "Think you can handle things without me, today?"
"Yes. I've got everything under control," Shining saluted, more out of habit as a guard.
She was halfway out of the empty throne room when she turned to address him once more, "Unless Sombra himself comes back from the dead, try not to wake me."
Shining Armor chuckled. "Yes, dear."
Seconds later, Shining was all alone. He didn't blame his wife for needing so much rest. Any magic user knew that magic, when used in excess, could quickly drain your energy. Cadence had pushed her magic to the limit and further with the shield yesterday. He was thankful they had the crystal heart now, otherwise the only season for their empire would be winter.
He gazed out the window once again, watching everypony down below on the streets. They were all so cheerful, as if their horrible nightmare had never occurred. Shining Armor knew they were all keeping their troubles inside, but he didn't blame them for it. At least they had purpose to smile once again after so long. Silently, Shining swore that as long as he stood, they would never lose their reason to be happy again.
Things were looking up for the Crystal Empire.
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......? dude.
Write more.
I liked it, personally.
Fav'd and liked.
Off to a decent start. I'll see how it goes from here. :)
Good start and base line for the story so far, holds plenty of promise so let's see where you take this.
I await your continuation of the current plot with great vigor!
I'm going to stick around and see where this go's
for a second, i thought someone had taken me up on my offer to write a spin off of my fic, as my character was also due to be married and named Andrew
I think you mean sapient. Every animal is sentient
3334379
Dunno what ya mean by that, mate.
3334605
I certainly intend to!
3336325
Small world, eh?
3337091
...Whoops. Thank you for the correction.
It's alright
3334944>>3335838>>3336001>>3336203>>3337323
(Thanks guys!)
Must've been one good drink. If anyone can get me some of that, I will be their slave forever.
Dat author's note. Interesting from what I've read so far, I also couldn't pass up a chance to be 2% more handsome. For your writing and generous handsome giving i present you with a mustache.
This.... is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing. And yet, it seems like such a good
story. Why the hell did I not find this before?
P.S. My evil lair is 20% cooler than yours.It's in a volcano. On the moon. And I have a white cat... And a Big-Boy shaped escape rocket. And a tank of sharks with freakin lasers attached to their freakin heads.
P.P.S. Thanks for helping me become 3542% more handsome than anyone else on the planet.
Interesting beginning so far.
"Let me know what you think in the comments, please. It really is appreciated, and you become 2% more handsome than you already are when you do so."
2% of 0...
After reading the author's note, I feel so handsome!
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/104/6/f/my_little_squidward_handsome_beyond_magic_by_elppajack-d4w46kz.png
So if I do it 100 times I'll double my handsomeness
Thats a bargen! Good so far!!!!!!
4571012 i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/665/543/e40.png
I thought I was the only one...
I don't dislike this story just yet...but where are the descriptions of the characters?
edit: Ooh, I feel more handsome already.
Heh..........HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAAAAA
That description at the bottom right there is so hilarious.....
*sigh*
what's wrong with me today?
No offense writer.
can't pass up an opportunity to become more handsome, especially 2%, so...
props to you that i had no trouble guessing it, despite the extremely short time i had with the characters.
is it a bad thing that i found this fit the chapter perfectly?
Right, so why did Andy immediately guess that the drink in his shot glass was an Irish Car Bomb?
Anyone who does any drinking knows a car bomb is served in two glasses, a pint glass and a shot, so I have reason to believe that something is wrong with a guy who hangs out at a bar and can't tell the difference.
Other than that, good first chapter. Onwards!
That authors note.
Great setting, don't know why, but the whole "drinking then something weird happens and i don't remember how" fascinates me.
Kudos and congratulations on getting featured.
...not what I was expecting...
Anyway. You know what I think was in that shot?
Freedom. Literally.
(starts reading, checks time, 7:52 p.m., suddenly sees same time written in the chapter)
I am an ugly bastard, so this'll only help a little.
Alcohol, sending more people to Equestria then guns!
Just for funsies: is this a scenario in wich the Protag exists both in equestria and in his original world at the same time? (He drunk and that send him to equestria while also keeping another him to keep doing what he was already going to before)
Now you seem open to criticism and the one I have to say about this chapter is something I have seem in other fics and agree: You take too much time alking about those in the human world, not only it is not what people came to read it is also useless if they are not going to be important to the story afterwards. A sugestion is to minimize the stay in the human world as much as possible and just ferment the reason the character is in equestria on the 1st chapter while letting motivation to be developed afterwards.
*dislikes this story to become more handsome.*