• Published 1st Oct 2013
  • 1,373 Views, 36 Comments

All Ponies Die - Proper Noun



All ponies die. It's only a matter of how and when. This collection of one-shots explores a few possible ways for some ponies to go.

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To the Moon

"Uh, Sweetie Belle, are you sure this'll work? Not that it ain't a good idea or nothin', cause if we manage, we'll get our cutie marks for sure. But even Twilight Sparkle can't teleport to the moon." Sweetie Belle gave Apple Bloom a cheery shrug.

"How else are we supposed to earn our cutie marks in moon exploring? Scootaloo isn't able to fly us there - even Rainbow Dash can't do that - "

"Pfft. Rainbow Dash can do it. I asked her about it myself! She's just busy with Official Wonderbolts Business," said Scootaloo.

"Official Wonderbolts House-Sittin' for Fluttershy?" Apple Bloom asked, arching a brow. "Cause that's what mah sister said she's doin' tonight."

"Speaking of night, you know your Granny's gonna ground you for being out this late, right?" Scootaloo tried to distract the other Crusaders by pointing out the window of their clubhouse. The moon had been out for hours.

"Yeah, Rarity's going to ground me too. But we'll still see each other at school every day, and when this works, it'll be so worth it! We'll all have our cutie marks and it'll be great!" Sweetie started pulling things out of her backpack. "Anyway, I read a whole bunch of books about teleporting at the library, so I know I can make it work!"

"Yeah, and I got these," Scootaloo said, removing three small flasks from her own pack. "Miss Cheerilee said in class there's no air on the moon, so I told Zecora we needed these for diving."

"Uh," Apple Bloom started. She remembered all too well the lesson of her cutie pox: Lying to zebras never ends well.

"So, each of you drink one, and I drink one, and we won't need any air." Scootaloo chugged one of the appropriately sky-blue concoctions, Sweetie Belle sipped hers away quickly, and Apple Bloom sighed before using hers to wash down her misgivings.

"Right, so now we're ready!" Sweetie practically squeaked. "Teleportation in ten! Nine! Eight - "

"Hold on," Apple Bloom said, opening her own backpack. "You almost forgot the most important gear for Crusadin'!"

"Trail rations?" Scootaloo said, meaning the 'granola bars' from Sugarcube Corner that she usually brought along on the more involved Crusades.

"Esprit d'Corps?"

"Sweetie, what in tarnation is that supposed to mean? Aw, nevermind. Ah did pack all the other stuff, but you forgot our Crusader capes! So, it's a good thing Ah remembered." She drew the crimson cloaks from her bag, and solemnly, the three fillies donned their Crusading garb.

"Are we ready?!" Scootaloo cried.

"Ready!" Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle responded in unison.

"Three! Two! One!"

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Lunar Expedition! Yay!"

"Sweetie Belle, hit it!" Scootaloo ordered.

"One doesn't just 'hit it' in magic, Scootaloo! There's a great deal of - "

"You're soundin' like your sister again, Sweetie," Apple Bloom deadpanned, and the unicorn filly winced. "So, just teleport us, okay?"

"Well, okay," said Sweetie Belle. "Here we go!"

She concentrated, visibly pouring effort into the faint glow around her horn. There was a brilliant flash of light, and all three Crusaders covered their eyes. Then it was silent for a few moments... but only a few.

"Well, that didn't work." Apple Bloom sighed. They had all moved just a foot to Sweetie's left. "Maybe we should call it a night, like we didn't with Scoots an' flying."

"Hey!" the pegasus filly protested.

"Wait, just one more try. I know I can do this! I studied all afternoon, after school! I'll make it work this time, I promise!"

"Well, alright - "

"Yay! Thank you! I know it'll - "

"But you only get one one more try. An' if it don't work, Ah'm goin' to bed."

"Deal!" Sweetie Belle began to concentrate again, and this time, the glow spread from her horn more quickly, but also more steadily. None of the fillies knew if that was a good thing. "Here... we ... go!"

Another flash. The three crusaders looked around, when they could see again, then frowned to each other.

"It sure is dark. Are we there? I bet we're there. Wow, I did it! We're on the moon!" But in response to Sweetie Belle's enthusiasm, Scootaloo gulped.

"Uh, Sweetie? The moon's up there." Apple Bloom looked down.

"And... Equestria's, yanno..." The other Crusaders followed Apple Bloom's eyes, and saw Equestria. All of Equestria. Scootaloo had seen it, once, riding on Rainbow Dash's back.

"Uh oh," they said in unison. Then gravity awoke, and sleepily gave them each a little tug before rolling over in its bed. They screamed.

"Sweetie Belle, do something! Get us back down!" After a moment's focus, the unicorn filly groaned and cradled her head in her hooves.

"Ugh... it's no good! All I'm getting is a headache! I should have listened to Rarity about burnout!"

"Well, Ah can't do nothin'. Guess Ah should'a listened to mah sister 'bout sneakin' out late. Hey, Scoots, you made any progress on flyin'?"

"I don't think so," Scootaloo replied, buzzing her wings uselessly. "Besides, Rainbow Dash told me that if you're going too fast to break out of a fall, it'll just snap your wings, even if you do get it right."

"Unless somepony sees us real soon, Ah guess that's it."

"Nah, I'm sure Rainbow Dash will catch us any second now! She's always got my back!" They waited, eager eyes peeled for a sign of Rainbow - or any pegasus, for that matter. Equestria got bigger.

"Maybe Rarity can use her magic and catch us! Or even her friend Twilight! She's super powerful!" Again they watched. They started passing the occasional cloud.

"Hey, I think that's Ponyville," said Scootaloo.

"Makes sense, if Sweetie transported us straight up."

"Teleported."

"Whatever. You know, Ah don't think we're gonna be caught. That ground's lookin' awful close."

"Yeah, I guess not."

"Ah wonder if Ah'll get to see mah Ma and Pa again."

"Hey, you know what this means, right girls?" Sweetie said.

"What's that?" asked Scootaloo.

"Well, nopony knows for sure what happens after you die, right?"

"Ah bet the Princess knows."

"Yeah, but that's not the point! We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and we're going to find out! Then we can come back and tell everypony what it's like, and we'll get our cutie marks and be famous!" Sweetie Belle said with a grin. "Are you girls ready?!"

"Yeah!" the others replied in unison.

"Three! Two! One!" They all put their hooves together.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Afterlife Explorers! Yay!"

Splat.

Comments ( 17 )

I can't help but contemplate the numbers of fanfic that makes me want to call those three complete idiots.


Still, good chapter.

3646746

Thank you! I think. :twilightsmile:

3656998

Thanks for that! :twilightsmile: I wasn't sure I could pull it off in practice. (In retrospect, it reminds me a bit of Faust.)

3681514

Hi! Thanks for that. :twilightsmile: I do my best. Usually.

3286010
That is a bit harsh, if you are going to insult someone at least use an accurate insult not a bullshit one.

What a painful way to die.

Will you right any more of this fanfic?

write, not right. Stupid typo.

3883609
Whenever the mood strikes me. That's why it's "on hiatus."

That said, more ponies are likely to die. :raritydespair::unsuresweetie::applecry::fluttershyouch::applejackunsure:

:rainbowhuh: that ending was kinda disturbing to say the least

Your story has been reviewed by the PCaRG!

La link for your pleasure!

Ha! I can't believe you went there. :rainbowlaugh:

Well, at least they died in peace... And pieces, but that's another thing.

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