Twilight has been living alone in the Ponyville Library for over 4 months now, not even her companion Spike is there. Why? Could it be that there is a deadly disease that struck Ponyville and turned it into a literal ghost town?
(This is a revision of my old story "Time")
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As I was reading I saw a few things and decided I should bring them to your attention.
It's just a preference of my own, but in my opinion, any number lower than 10,000 should be spelled out, and maybe you should rewrite the second bolded part because repetitive sentence is repetitive.
Suggestions:
-a rare and deathly disease broke out deep in the Everfree Forest-
-a disease, both rare and deadly, managed to break out in the Everfree Forest-
I think you should switch those two words around and leave out the comma.
The past tense of spell is spelled, not spelt.
~Sylpheed
3285547 I have fixed these errors. Thanks for reading through it.
3286470
Heh, it's no prob man.
Yes, you have his gender right this time.
That's it, get out of my house right now.
3286134
I suppose it depends on the person. I live in America (*insert face that you make when Excaliber is around*) and I usually tend to spell it spelled. Meh, I suppose America just loves to distance itself from England.
~Sylpheed and Eli
You might want to fix that. Interesting fic though, can't wait to see where you will take it!