Bonus Short: Depraved Desperation
She couldn't sleep.
No matter how much she tried, Applejack couldn't get back to sleep.
She sighed as she tossed and turned in her bed, eager to get back to sleep so that she could wake up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next morning, ready for a long day of apple buckin'. Still, try as she might, slumber eluded her. After going through the steps of denial, she finally reached acceptance, and quickly sat up.
"Consarn it all..." she said quietly to herself. "I'm too restless."
Applejack, without another word, rolled off her bed with a sigh. She made her way down the hall to the bathroom to do her business, flushing and washing her hooves afterwards like a lady, and then decided to make her way downstairs to grab a snack.
She made her way into the kitchen, where she saw Big Mac laying on top of what looked like a giant lower bun; a massive sesame seed bun a short distance away, and a massive piece of cheese covering him. His hooves were all tied together, and he had an apple shoved in his mouth. Nearby, Twilight and Fluttershy - both with crazed, shocked expressions on their face, frozen in place, stared at her.
Applejack continued to the pantry and opened the door, stepping inside. She reached into a box, and pulled from it one of her family's famous apple fritters. She unhesitatingly took a bite from it, and turned around, walking back into the kitchen, passing Twilight and Fluttershy who were now pouring giant onions on the stallion.
By the time Applejack made it to the living room, she stopped, and the gears in her head finally spun.
"Wait a minute..."
She trotted back into the kitchen to stare at her friends as they started throwing lettuce on her brother.
"What're y'all doin'...?"
Fluttershy and Twilight looked up at Applejack, then exchanged glances.
"Uh... you see...." began Twilight. "... in many societies, many things ponies do, eat, read, and... uh.... read... are limited... by.... uh..."
"... class and affordability" finished Fluttershy.
"Yeah that."
Applejack quirked a brow, staring at her friends, who stared back with nervous eyes, Twilight having a slight twitch, and Fluttershy continuously stroking her own tail anxiously.
"She's not buying it!" Shouted Twilight suddenly. "Bail!"
Twilight immediately disappeared in a burst of magic, and Fluttershy, in an unusually aggressive manner, rushed Applejack, poked her in the eyes with her wing tips (which elicited a yelp from the mare) and flew out the nearby window. Which was closed. But was now opened. And broken. Applejack would be sure to ask her to pay for a replacement later when she was... not insane.
The farm mare rubbed her eyes with her hooves and opened them, blinking away the pain from the surprise attack, and looking to her brother with confusion. Shaking her head, she trotted to him and pulled the apple from his mouth. "What was THAT all about!?"
Big Mac shrugged. "Well... I woke up to them tyin' me up an' lookin' at me with hungry eyes, sayin' they had 'big plans' for me, and that I was 'gonna be so good.' I won't lie... I was kinda excited. But then they said somethin' about not needin' condiments, which I... thought was somethin' else... an' I got a lil' worried, but damn if I didn't find it kinda appealin'... It wasn't until they brought out the giant buns that I realized I may have... uh... misinterpreted the situation..."
Applejack stared at her brother silently, before bringing a hoof to the bridge of her nose and rubbing it.
"So you thought-"
"Eeyup."
"... and that they was-"
"Eeyup."
"... and you were alright with this until...?"
"Until I realized they was gonna eat me."
Applejack stared at her brother for a few minutes, his own stoic expression all he returned. After a few minutes, she stuck her tongue at him. "You can just sleep there tonight, ya pig." She turned, ready to leave, but was stopped by her brother's voice.
"Uhh, AJ?"
"What?"
He turned his gaze to a wall, seeming nervous. "Can ya... ya know... at least let me go so I can take a cold shower?"
Applejack furrowed her brow at her brother. "Sleep it off, Casanova."
Applejack trotted back into the living room, leaving Big Mac alone. She made her way back up the stairs, and into her room, shutting the door behind her and climbing into bed with a huff of annoyance, pulling her covers over herself, going into an annoyed sleep. All the while, Big Mac lay on a giant hamburger bun, staring at the walls of his family's kitchen.
"... I got cheese in uncomfortable places..."
END
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Poor Big Mac. At least the name's fitting.
What is this I don't even
Beautiful! Also, psht c'mon AJ. He's not a pig if he thought he was the one being propositioned. Was he supposed to say no, I dun wanna? xD
No one is asking the important question: Where did they get onions that big?
You're an awful person.
I laughed.
...
I just vomited my retainer.
Translation: I'm not a big fan of sick humor.
Translation for that translation: That was horrible. What in the world compelled you to write that sickening bonus chapter?
3482371
I dunno. What compelled you to read it?
3482410, Because the first chapter was actually well-written and hilarious. I thought you'd continue that trend with the rest of your work.
3482412
This doesn't have any sicker humor than the previous chapter did.
3482354
Atleast playtime isn't Ogre. Is it?
3482440
No, the great Ogrelord needs my services for a while longer. Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
That was incredible.
3482416
Cannibalism have a way to . make people cringe. In the previous chp, at least the meat is dead already and by animals that really didn't matter, to us.
... Well, that happened.
And so, another horrible misunderstanding between humanworld and ponyworld nearly leads to tragic consequences.
They almost made him a Royale with cheese. :)
3482593
Man, lotsa people takin' cartoon pony cannibalism really seriously.
*Snigger*
3482641
And THAT is what makes My Little Pony so much awesome. It relates and appeals to countless other people worldwides for reasons I barely understand nor care. It is so much that when people say "Ponies" my mind, and very much likely countless more, translate it to "People" or "Human"
And in this chapter, once I get pass the stomach churning phase, I see the humor and I laugh. Although not by much when compared with the first chapter (and I am grateful of that, the implication for that pass the humor is . . . disturbing)
might be cannibalism, but hell if that wasn't funny.
So Twilight and Fluttershy wanted to get filled with Big Mac's special sauce. Got it.
what
ENTIRE TEAM OF COMMENTERS IS BABIES
Well, I thought it was funny. If anyone's really upset, just consider that this could easily be interpreted as a weird dream that Applejack's having without changing a single word. :)
Who want a bigmac?
Ha. Ha. HA!
Wow
Some time later, Twilight and Fluttershy would share some special ingredients with Pinkie Pie for her to make special "Soylent Pink" cupcakes
So I'm just gonna sit this favorite over here...you can pick it up whenever.
I KNEW IT!!! Eating hamburgers has led to PONY CANNIBALISM!!
Luna shall soon return to the form of Nightmare Moon and begin gobbling ponies as well!
Zecora will start cooking ponies in big tasty stews!
It'll be chaos! IT'LL BE CHAOS!!
(Oh, and I guess Discord will start eating ponies... just beacuse it's the 'cool' thing to do. Peer pressure and all.)
3483596 And Pinkie will make cupcakes
Big Mac. His name says it all.
its funny Cannibalism is funny.
I think the cannibalism bit was taking this a bit far. Kind of spoiled this story for me
3483942
If it wasn't wrong, it wouldn't have been funny.
i, for one, think this was a pretty funny chapter, even if it wasn't quite what i was expecting.
I think what has everypony's tails in a twist is that it doesn't seem like a reasonable escalation from the first chapter. At first i kinda thought the same thing, but then i realized that there's no set time frame stating when this happened in relation to the previous chapter. Obviously Fluttershy has "come clean" to Twilight about her unexpected desire for meat and both of them have chosen to continue pursuing the fulfillment of this taboo desire. After that i suspect they tried to aquire more and more meat, in increasingly closer intervals and correspondingly larger amounts. These unexplained packages were beginning to arouse suspicion among their friends and neighbors so they tried to swear it off for a short time to prevent their getting outed as meat-eaters. This lead to unexpected withdrawal symptoms and cravings until they couldn't take it anymore and snapped.
I would doubt they went straight to the conclusion they had to eat Big-Mac of all ponies, and perhaps started by robbing a gravesite of somepony who died. But that would be harder to play off than the simple explanation that "drugs be crazy yo," as the meat appears to have a somewhat druglike affect on our two protag- ... antag- .... antiheroes?
3484031 If the point was dark humour, which I am a fan of, yes. However, I must direct your attention to the fact that there is no dark tag on your story.
The best thing about this was the oddly appropriate burger king ad just after the story.
3484056 i wouldn't exactly call this "dark"
3484056
This ain't dark enough to warrant a dark tag. Putting a dark tag on this would be like putting a PG13 rating on MLP because Sombra exploded.
3484035
Of course it's an unreasonable jump. That's part of why I did it.
That's part of the reason why I ended it with that statement of 'you decide how canon this is for you'.
3484056 Oh come on, it was stupid and funny :D
This is ten thousand percent canon.
It'd be funny if they found out Spike has a stash of frozen meat in a room beneath the stairs at the library. Him being a Dragon, it wouldn't surprise me if he kept and ate meat, but decided not to let anyone else see due to common courtesy since the ponies in this story wouldn't like that very much.
Though I can guess those two would enjoy it.
This reminds me of the episode of Cheers where Sam's boss lady turns him on on purpose so he's stuck at the table in the fancy restaurant he took her to as she leaves him behind; he asks the waiter for a soufflé, to which the waiter responds, "That'll take 45 minutes!" and Sam goes, "I know."
Uh...
Well on the on hand (hoof?) this was pretty funny. One the other hand... this was also kind of disturbing if I actually think about it... And mostly because I made the mistake of reading "Cupcakes" - the original version - after dark that one time... 
I think I liked the first chapter better. But thanks for putting this one up anyway!. :)
3484592 Twilight: You had MEAT down here all this time, Spike?
Spike: Well, yeah. I mean, I am a growing dragon and you did say I can't live off just gemstones and meat is a normal part of dragon dietary requirements....
Twilight: And you weren't going to SHARE it with me? For shame, Spike. And here I thought you were my Number One Assistant!
3484573 THE CANON IS OVER 9000!!!!
3482446
Is Shrek, Drek though?
At any rate, ALL HAIL OUR LORD EMPEROR!
3485807
How dare you even insinuate the possibility?