• Published 30th Sep 2013
  • 11,283 Views, 590 Comments

Bad Future Crusaders - TonicPlotter



One fateful night in Equestria everything changed. The princesses were gone, and a new ruler had taken their place. Years have passed since that event. Ponies have grown up, aged, and changed with the times. Tonight their story begins.

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Chapter 38

“Your turn, Mau-Olhado. Ready to pay the piper? Ready to meet those you killed on the other side?”

Apple Bloom looked to her left and her right, cringing at the feel of the rope around her neck as she did. On her left was Silver Spoon’s scarred body, hanging lifelessly from the noose, and to her right were the two youngsters from the neighboring cell. They had left her alive to the end so she could watch it happen. “Just get it over with.”

“Any last words?”

“Don’t call me Mau-Olhado,” she said as she closed her eyes.

She could still see them. Even through closed eyes she could see the ocean of judging gazes staring at her. An uncountable number of forgotten or unrecognizable faces with one and only one in the dead center she recognized. It was the kid from Graywater Pass, the one who just got lucky and caused Sunflower and Peppercorn’s deaths, the one who had pleaded for his life as she held him down with the barrel of her pistol to his forehead, was staring longingly with the still fresh crown of bullet wounds dotted above his sullen eyes. “Eu não quero morrer...” he said followed swiftly by the loud crank of the gallows as she fell—

—And Apple Bloom was awake, back in her cell, staring up at the drab ceiling and gasping for air as she clutched her throat.

“Nightmare?” asked Silver Spoon who was still leaning against the bars with her back to Apple Bloom’s.

“Eeyup.”

“A few more hours to go is my guess,” said Silver Spoon, “Let me guess: dreaming about the gallows?”

Apple Bloom nodded solemnly and felt Silver Spoon’s body twitch as the gray mare let out a merry cackling laugh. “You think all this’s funny?!”

“I think it’s hilarious! All of this is!” she said in a chipper tone, “Think about it, Blank Flank. How many times did we try and kill each other? Honest question; I lost count. We’ve been to so many places, seen so many things, and we’d always meet. I could count on it like clockwork; you with that gun and your stripes, me with my knives and whatever scumbags I’d dragged along that time, and we’d always both get away. I’d swear fate had tied us together if I believed in it. I always kind of thought we’d have ourselves a little final battle one day and finally put an end to it once and for all.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“And after all that, all that hate, what did it amount to? Nothing. Diddly… squat. None of it might as well have even happened. It’s just this: noose at dawn. We die side by side like old sweethearts. How is that not the funniest thing you’ve ever heard?”

“You’re insane, Spoon.”

“So I’m told. Beats having regrets.”

Apple Bloom exhaled heavily. “Ah regret all of it. Ditching Scootaloo, not going back to Sweetie Belle—”

“Yeah, that was pretty dickish of you,” said Silver Spoon.

Apple Bloom frowned over her shoulder into the attentive purple eyes of the pony she had hated for so long, “Ah regret coming back at all. Pavel was right; ain’t no place for me here anymore. Ah’ve changed far too much. Ah should’ve stayed back home, on the farm with Ma and Pa. They’re gonna think… that Ah just never bothered to come back…”

“Me?” said Silver Spoon triumphantly, “No regrets. I just hope they hang me last; closest I’ll ever get to winning our little war.”

“You can have it,” said Apple Bloom sadly, “Ah’ll put a word in for you.”

“Appreciate it, Blank Flank. When we get to Hell, you can have the top bunk.”

Apple Bloom sighed again, shuddering at the thought of her impending death, “Appreciate it, Spoon.”

For a moment there was nothing in the world. No sound, no movement, until Silver Spoon let out a breath she had been holding and fell limp. “No, no, that’s not true. I do have one regret, I think. I want to see Clear Rivers one more time. If I could do that, well quite frankly I could go right ahead and die in peace I think.”

“Who’s Clear Rivers?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Ah suppose not,” said Apple Bloom, dismissing this ‘Clear Rivers’ as no doubt some slimy stallion she had been having a fling with on the side.

“You regret not taking their deal?”

“Nope. Ah’d never be able to live with myself.”

“The witch offered me a similar setup,” Silver Spoon said, spitting on the ground as she did, “I’m not falling for that one again. Last time they tried to throw my arse right back in prison once they were done with me. This way, at least I get to see Diamond Tiara again, right?”

Apple Bloom perked up at the sound of that old name. “How did she go out?” she asked, assuming outright Tiara must be long dead, “If you’ll indulge me.”

“Why not?” said Silver Spoon sadly, “I picked the absolute worst night in history for a sleepover in Ponyville, and she shoved me out of the way of one of those blasts. It tore through her like paper mache.”

Apple Bloom felt a pang low in her stomach. She never liked Diamond Tiara; she had wished ill on that miserable little spoiled brat a few dozen times over, but hearing she had gone down in such a surprisingly noble manner was hard to hear. “Ah’m sorry.”

“We had this plan, you know?” continued Silver Spoon. “I hated my parents. I was the dirty little mud pony in a house full of unicorns. Daddy’s little mistake. My brother was okay I guess, at least he was nice to me—”

“You had a brother?”

“And three sisters. All unicorns. They went to Jerklestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns” she said, mocking the title in a goofy baby’s voice, “I went to Ponyville’s Schoolhouse with all the plebs to rot. At least there I met Tiara, and we made this little plan: ditch town one day and stow away on a ferry to who knows where. We just never had the guts until that night happened, you know?” She draped her head, laughing humorlessly as she reminisced about what must have been far happier memories. “Me and Tiara always said we loved each other, yet she was the one who proved it. Guess I was in shock; next thing I knew I was on a ferry with a bunch of other survivors from the town.” She paused once more for a few more humorless chuckles, “And you know what’s real funny? I’m pretty sure my family thought I died too, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t give even a fraction of a crap.”

“Ouch,” said Apple Bloom. “Hold on… You mean you and Tiara liked each other liked each other?”

Silver Spoon scoffed once more. “Yeah. Don’t sound so surprised. You could see it from across the ocean, Blank Flank.” Apple Bloom began to laugh low in her throat and Silver Spoon elbowed her through the bars, “What’re you cackling at?! You think that’s funny?”

Hilarious,” said Apple Bloom over her shoulder, taking a quick moment to enjoy the anger aimed at her from her old enemy, “It means Ah owe Sweetie Belle 20 bits that Ah never have to pay back.”

Never in a million years would Apple Bloom have expected what came next. Laughter. Not Silver Spoon’s typical malicious cackle but genuinely amused happy laughter. In seconds Apple Bloom was laughing as well and for a precious instant all was forgotten: their feud, their impending doom, their past, their present. They were just two ponies united in a good joke and laughing heartily together.

“Psst!”

Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon flinched in unison and fell silent. They both looked at each other and nodded; they had both heard it.

“Pssssst!” said the mystery voice again, followed by a quiet quick whistle, “Pound! Pumpkin!”

“Dorian?!” snapped Pumpkin from the neighboring cell.

A young unicorn timidly slunk out of the shadows from the corner outside the cells and ran to the bars to hug his two friends. Apple Bloom rubbed at her eyes in disbelief as she got a clear look at his scruffy mane and pale-blue body; it was the kid with the coat, who she had helped out of trouble in that alley. “Guys!!!” he whispered happily as they cuddled as best as they could through the metal barrier.

“What are you doing here, Dor?!” scolded Pound.

“I could ask the same thing! You two just up and vanish in this direction without a trace, then I hear about the ‘twins’ who were arrested and—”

“Please tell me you brought Pip,” said Pumpkin.

“Uh… no. He was out, so I came by myself. C’mon, we have to get out of here before the guards come back!”

“How did you get in here, kid?” said Silver Spoon as she stood and let herself drape through the bars to eye the kid up and down.

Dor stared at her uneasily the way a shy child would. “I… I stowed away inside a crate to get in town and I think the guards are short-staffed or something; I slipped in during the shift change when there was no sentry.”

“Youngster after my own heart,” said Silver Spoon in genuine approval. “How do you like that, Blank Flank? We’re not even high-profile enough of prisoners to miss a shift-change over. I feel so unloved. Well, kid? Hurry up and spring us.”

“I… right,” stammered the kid as he looked left and right. Still holding himself low as if it kept him more hidden, he fidgeted nervously as if he wasn’t quite sure what to do next.

Great,” said Silver Spoon as she slapped a hoof over her face. “Let me guess: you charged right in without a plan.” The unicorn’s nervous grin of fear confirmed Spoon’s suspicion and she growled with frustration. “Stupid kid! You’re going to get yourself killed like that. Luck loves to turn her back on you so always have a plan, and have a plan for when that plan fails!” The kid stared at her sadly from her scolding, so overtaken with anxiety that he looked ready to cry. “Sheesh. Calm down, rookie. Start by observing your surroundings. What do you need, and how do you get it?”

“A key.”

“Right, a key,” she said in a supportive tone, “Who has one? The guard. So go take him down!”

“M-me?!” sputtered the young unicorn, “I can’t fight!”

“What are you even doing here then, you stupid little—” she cut herself off at the sound of the door to the holding cells opening and slamming shut. “Well, you’re not getting past them now, so it sounds like you have to learn and quick or you will die. Feel that in your stomach? That feral fear? Don’t fight it, use it. Use the adrenaline rush and bash his head in from behind!”

The kid panted with fear, looking between the prisoners and the now audible sound of armored hooves just down the hall around the corner, and ran for cover. He scrabbled beneath the small wooden bench along the wall just in time as a duo of pleasantly chatting sentries walked into the room.

“…and Homerun is all like ‘I wouldn’t do that with a carrot’ and… I’ll tell you later,” said the rust-colored mare, “Well, here they are Starlight. Hey, thanks again for this, you’re a lifesaver. I was the only one posted her tonight and it was driving me up the wall.”

“No sweat, Bug,” said Starlight as he looked over the prisoners and seemed to settle his gaze on Apple Bloom. “I’ve got it here, if you’ll take the reception desk.”

“Alright,” nodded Bug, “Backup will be here in a bit. They just screwed up the schedule; didn’t fill the positions properly.”

“Once backup arrives you’re good to leave for the night,” said Starlight to Bug, who nodded appreciatively once more and headed back down the hall. Starlight paced absentmindedly back and forth with his spear draped lazily over his shoulder, until his comrade was gone and he immediately headed to the cell to stare down at Apple Bloom. “Apple Bloom, right?”

“Eeyup.”

“I’d just like to ask a few questions—”

“Well, look who it is!” chirped Pumpkin with a smirk, “So you just here to talk again? Ready to try the thing I told you about with the handcuffs?”

Starlight shuddered uncomfortably and faced Apple Bloom once more with a reassuring smile. “Nothing like that,” he said softly, “This isn’t an interrogation. I just have a few questions for you concerning what happened in Broncton, okay?”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Shoot.”

“First of all—” he began but was cut off. The unicorn sprang from beneath the bench with a growl and pounced on his back trying to take him down. Starlight struggled and whipped his head around, and easily bucked the kid off and kicked him in the stomach to knock him down. He ran for his spear but Dor was up quickly and kicked it out of reach. “Come on!” taunted Starlight as he adopted a fighting stance. The young unicorn threw two easily blocked punches and was thrown to the ground and subdued. “Gotcha,” hissed Starlight as he wrenched the kid’s hooves behind his back and cuffed him, “Now where did—AAAGH!!!”

“Got you,” said Silver Spoon in a low hiss, having managed to reach his spear and stab him in the leg with it, “Hey… I recognize you too. You’re Babs Seed’s little toady. Not so tough now that you don’t have the tub of lard to do the fighting for you, huh?!”

Apple Bloom tried to stand and collapsed, still weak from the oilroot extract they had injected her with, and instead dragged her frail body to the bars. “Wait, don’t kill him!”

“Why not?” said Silver Spoon as she cruelly twisted the spear.

“He… he’s my cousin’s friend,” said Apple Bloom in a pleading tone.

By now the kid had gotten the key to his cuffs and freed himself. He pulled the cell keys from Starlight’s armor and, with a quick glance down the hall to make sure Bug hadn’t heard the fight, threw the keys to Pound. “Come on, let’s just get out of here!” he said as he put his cuffs on Starlight and took a roll of adhesive bandage from the stallion’s first aid kit to tightly bind his muzzle shut.

“Fine,” said Silver Spoon as she callously dropped the spear, “I guess I do owe you one, kid.”

Dorian opened Silver Spoon’s cell and she gave him an affectionate punch to the shoulder as she passed. He opened the lock to Apple Bloom’s cell last and, upon recognizing her, he smiled triumphantly. “Told you I’d pay you back,” he said as he held out a hoof to help her up.

“Stallion of your word,” said Apple Bloom as he helped her to her hooves, only to manage one shaky step and collapse once more. It was no good; she just didn’t have the strength in her legs to walk.

“Oooh, hard luck, Blank Flank,” said Silver Spoon mockingly as she stole Starlight’s service knife and strapped its sheath to her leg. “But hey, I know you. If anypony could pull through this, it’s you. Rotsa ruck, pal.”

“She’s coming with us,” said Dorian firmly.

“Fine,” laughed Silver Spoon. “You carry her, then.” Without hesitation the kid nosed his way under Apple Bloom, grunting as he stood and supported her weight on his back. “Mr. Hero. Well, whatever. But if you slow me down I’m leaving you behind. I’ll die before I go back to the clink.”

“Hey,” said Apple Bloom to the bound stallion, “Tell my cousin Ah’m sorry ‘bout all this.”

Starlight just glared in response and Apple Bloom clung to the kid’s back, desperate to survive as the group snuck quietly down the hall and stopped at the corner. Silver Spoon took the lead, keeping low and peeking carefully around the corner to try and find cover to sneak up on the guard at the reception desk. “Sheesh, you’re heavy,” whispered Dorian quietly.

“Not the kind of thing you say to a lady, partner,” whispered Apple Bloom.

“Will you idiots be quiet?!” snapped Silver Spoon under her breath, “I am this close to freedom and you clowns are not going to screw this up for me. I’m going to go snuff that guard, so be quiet and let me do my thing. This is what I do, okay? Sit back and let the expert go to work you bunch of retards!”

With that came a loud crash and a pained cry of surprise from around the corner. Expecting their cover to be blown the group sprinted into the open to find the rust-colored sentry unconscious on the ground with a dinted folding chair laying over her and Pumpkin Cake brushing her hooves with a smirk. Apple Bloom blinked in surprise, trying to figure out how she had gotten over there like that, and Pound just shrugged. “She does that. Don’t ask how.”

“Kids these days,” said Silver Spoon appreciatively as she skirted the wall and made her way to the unconscious mare. Satisfied with having looted a second service knife she ran to the door. “We just won the lottery!” she chirped as she peered through the view hole out into the streets of Canterlot, “Blank Flank! I saw you drive like a lunatic at Desconhecido Ridge. Think you can drive that?”

With help from Spoon and Dor Apple Bloom peered through the view hole at the machine parked across the street that bore an uncanny resemblance to trucks she was used to driving back home; though it had been built with a carriage in mind, the overall shape and design made it evident it was a motor vehicle. “If Ah can drive the spud catcher, Ah can drive that monstrosity. Ah hope.”

“We don’t have a choice,” said Silver Spoon, “Reinforcements are already on their way, and the whole city’ll go into lock-down as soon as they get here and find us free. They’ll expect us to sneak out, so I say we surprise the crap out of them and escape full Eastern Sonhos Vale style: full speed in an armored vehicle, running over anypony that gets in our way. By the time they even realize what happened we’ll be halfway to Hollow Shades. From there we go our separate ways and, Blank Flank, you and I can settle scores the next time we meet.”

“Ah’ll hold you to that, Spoon,” said Apple Bloom.

“Love you too, darling,” said Silver Spoon. She opened the door a crack and looked all around. “Clear!” she said as the door swung open and the group moved quickly and quietly past the empty guard station and to their only chance for escape. “Alright, me and the twins will take the back to keep any unwanted passengers off. Kid, you’re useless in a fight so you’re riding shotgun with the load there.”

“I’m riding the what?!

“Just get in the passenger seat,” said Silver Spoon flatly as she busted the lock to the driver’s door with her knife, “These things run off of a unicorn’s magic; you’re the power source.”

“I can do that,” said Dorian as he helped Apple Bloom into the driver’s seat and climbed inside to take his spot beside her.

Apple Bloom looked around the cab of the vehicle, marveling at the similarities it shared with Eastland vehicles and wondering if it was perhaps based off of them. Though it was a bit more simplistic in design, it had a gas, brake, clutch, and steering wheel all in the right places. It had a few controls she was unfamiliar with; a lever on the side of the steering wheel labeled with arrows and a few switches on the dashboard he hoped weren’t important, and of course the large glass enclosure mounted in front of the passenger’s seat which must have been the power source. “You ponies really need to discover diesel already,” she said dismissively as she buckled her seatbelt and reached over to strap the kid in as well. With that done she grabbed the black bowler hat from the dash and plopped it on her head, “Ah feel naked without a hat.”

“Get down!” said Dorian and the two ducked as a pegasus sentry flew slowly overhead.

“I gotta know,” said Apple Bloom quietly, keeping a cautious eye on the overhead sentry who carefully followed his patrol route, “Why’d you stick your neck out for me like that? All Ah did was save you a jacket.”

The kid patted his coat, “It’s all I have left of my parents,” he said softly, “And… you kind of remind me of my mom.”

“Ah sure hope not.”

“I mean it,” he said, “I wish you and her could’ve met; you’d have gotten along for sure.”

Before Apple Bloom could answer a loud alarm blared from the prison behind them. “We’re outta time!” she said as she sat up straight. “Start it!” Dorian cringed and his horn glowed, making the glass piece illuminate. The entire thing began to vibrate and Apple Bloom could hear the engine spinning. “Hang on!” she yelled as she slammed the thing into gear and stomped on the gas pedal, making the thing lurch forward with an unexpected burst of speed.

Author's Note:

Even badasses need to be rescued sometimes. And yes, Dorian is exactly who you think he is.