Derpy is another average school filly except for her eyes and her clumsiness, which haven't made life easy for her. However, her routine suddenly changes when she discovers the Book of Faust and accidentaly releases the Faust Letters, powerful spirits able to destroy Equestria and perhaps all of the world.
Now Dinky Hooves, Guardian of the Seal on the book, has named her Cardcaptor and given her the mission of retrieving all of the letters before it's too late. But is it a good idea to leave the fate of the world on Derpy's hooves considering her sight condition and her clumsiness?
(Based on the anime Cardcaptor Sakura and on the animation by alfa995: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWG0KLSJi8g)
Chapters (3)
First comment.
I loved this show when I was a kid!
never watched the show but have a general idea of what it's about. Will read later.
Saw it, and thought of this.
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/018/0/2/derpy_cardcaptor_350z_by_kingmush360-d4mrst8.png
Sorry if image is MASSIVE.
Excelent adaptation!
Tracking!
I remember the show from my childhood. Prolly gonna track to read later. Though I am curious to see how the story will play out; whether you will stay true to the show's story or begin with the show and start making some cards/adventures up.
279075 You know, you just gave me a great idea. It's an idea in progress so I can't exactly explain what it is about, but it's a good idea I will probably apply in future chapters. Thank you!
278385 LOL!
278697 Thanks, I'm glad you liked it ^o^.
Chapter 1 Edited to add Italics. You might want to re-read it for better comprehension.
(Woops! I didn't notice there wasn't Italics when I copypasted it from Word... I just don't know what went wrong!
)
Derpy plus Cardcaptor? Do want. Please tell me Carrot Top will be her not-unrequited love interest
No matter what, tracking now.
281946 Carrot Top is already Tomoyo in both the original animation and in my fanfic, silly
But I wonder about who that will be, though (Of course I already know it, the characters is the only thing I have planned about the fanfic >:D)
P.S: I am going to take advantage of the situation to say that you all should keep the spoilers at minimum if you have watched the original show 'cause there could be people here who haven't watched it and of course would be spoiled by your comments.
283884
Ahh... Yea, I saw the original. I was a HUGE fan of CCS. But then... I was a gargantuan TomoSaku junkie. I get the feeling I am going to be very, very sad when all is said and done.
It's... okay. I used to be a huge fan of the show, and you seem to be following it pretty faithfully. It's set up well and I see a lot of potential in these characters, even if they have been changed significantly from their natural selves.
The problem is... there are a LOT of grammatical errors, especially in and around quotation marks. I can ignore one or two, but the frequency of these really draws me out of the story and makes it difficult to read. You also tend to use a lot of run-on sentences and sometimes switch tenses. As a rule of thumb, if it doesn't sound natural when you read it out loud, it needs to be changed. Between the awkward phrasings and varying levels of description, it's often difficult to picture what's going on. I'd like to see this continue, but with the way it's written currently I don't think I would be able to fully enjoy it.
290287 Thanks, that is exactly the kind of critic I was waiting for. I know there would be a lot of mistakes and I want to improve, but first I need some critics so I can see what exactly works and what doesn't.
. But at least I understood the rest of the problems :P. Also, I should try to find an editor to help me out if I can't handle it myself (which will probably happen, I fear -.-).
I will try to pay attention to those things in the next chapters. To be sincere, I don't quite understand what you mean by the quotation marks
btw, I love your fanfic (Death Note: Equestria). It is incredibly well done, good job!
Yeah! I jumped like crazy after seeing this new chapter!
Keep the good work!
I will watch this, because this is a fic which I have wanted to happen ever since I saw that animation.
My only problem with it is that it is, in essence, a written version of the show with all of the names changed. Though I have to say that I approve entirely of Fancy Pants as Yukito. So much win!
It's a version which I'm enjoying, and will therefore watch with interest, but the problem I have with it is that I already know what happens.
To be fair, I AM enjoying it, and there's only so much you could change anyway - and you have done, like changing the Fly into the Sight because, obviously, she can already fly. That said, I'm going to hope for a little more deviation from the episodes in the future - but if that doesn't happen then I'll still be able to enjoy it.
I love Cardcaptor Sakura, and Derpy is best background pony, and two plus two makes muffins. MUFFINS!
Keep it up!
346302 Thank you very much, those are a really estimulating words for me ^o^.
346391 I can say pretty much the same with you. All you say is purely true; My objective is precisely to adapt the original storyline with the ponies starring it. But that doesn't mean I'm lazy: I spend many time carefully fitting the character's personalities into the situation and thinking about how to make it more original (The Sight, the references to MLP: FIM, some of the gags,...). Nevertheless, I'm happy that you understand and enjoy it
To be sincere, this is my first fic and I'm kinda using it for practice and learning how to write properly for when I write my own stories; but that doen't mean I should make it less enjoyable :P I would say that I have gotten a lot better from the first chapter to the second chapter thanks to Nonagon's critic and doubling the time I have spent writing it. Still, I think there's a lot of things I could improve, I am just having troubles detecting them. So seriouly, if you see another problem aside the story one (like grammar, vocabulary, phrasing,...) or want to recommend me something don't be shy to tell it; I accept all kinds of critics - either positive or negative
Also, about the story problem: I'm thinking about changing how she gets some of the Letters and even making my own adventures with original letters, but for now I'm only considering it. I will decide when I'm more advanced with the story and the characters ;).
An adaptation? Awww damn. That means no Tomosaku ending. Mierda.
But I'll still watch because I was such a big fan of the original show. All my desktop wallpaper and program skins used to be CardCaptor Sakura.
What evil lurks in the hearts of mares...THE SHADOW KNOWS!!! *cue dramatic music*
I had a little moment of giggling happily when I saw this had been updated. I really like this fic, putting aside the occasional spelling mistake (I assume that in "Derpy got out the new device her friend gave her… out of her name?", it should be 'mane'?).
Also, thanks to that author's note, I am very, VERY excited about future chapters.
The only other thing I have to say is:
Derpy unfroze and sighed. “Y…You’re muffin. I mean, welcome.”
So cute. SO. FREAKING. CUTE.
469790 Whoah. How didn't I notice that? OK, it's fixed now. Thanks for pointing it out!
Also, your comment made my day :D. This chapter has been hard and looong to make but I'm glad it totally paid off XD.
Intrigued me, you have... Still.. Octi as the older sibling?, and Dinky as Kero? Hmmmm... but Fancy Pants as...... Opps... Spoilderps
I was going to write a story based on the anime and that incredibly video
, but then I decided to see if someone else had done it first. 
Looking forward to reading this when I have the time.
1369970 You can help me write it if you want, I'm looking for an editor
Too bad this was discontinued.