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Screwball: Chaos is Magic117 stories ·384 members
When Button Mash was just mashing away on his JoyBoy at school. But class started with the introduction of a new student. Her name was Screwball. She looked a bit strange in buttons eyes. On screwballs first day there she was immidiatly made fun of for looking diffrent. On buttons way home, he sees her crying and tries to confort her. In the end Button made a new friend but on Screwballs side, she met her future husband.
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Only one recommendation, grammar is all you need i should be I and you need to add ' to words like Don't, also caps and punctuation otherwise I think this was really cute.
OOOHHHHhhhhh I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs.... Neeeeed some touch ups, make sure you go back and revise your work before you release it.
Edit: I finished reading the chapter, and I must say some work could be done.
I know where you are coming from however. My first fanfic was wrote in a journal. It was FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLL of mistakes, but that is why I put it on a CPU and edited it.
Please don't think I am being mean to you. In fact
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
I FREAKIN' KNEW IT!!!!! But I don't get how Screwloose could be her mother... I mean only if she took her in... But not if she and Discord.... I don't even think Discord would DO that sort of thing!
3279063>>3278868 Cut me some slack im typing on a tablet.
3279146 Me neither, i always thought about it like she was purely magic created when discord took Screw Loose's sanity and manifested itself into screwball.
Well, I do like the concept, its original so I'll give it that. It's already mentioned from previous comments that you need to clean this up, but you already know that. I will say that the first chapter seems a bit rushed, so you might want to slow it down a bit if you please. Other than that I think your doing a good job
.
3279659 So Screwball just started calling Screwloose mommy and she just accepted it?
3279706 thank you ayou cover is appriciated and your username will be mentioned.
3279720 discord drove her barking mad, what else was she wupposed to call her?
I like it, a few errors here and there but overall a good story and I really like the idea.
Interesting and funny I will watch this. If you do need someone to pre-read and check grammar I could do it for you. Just PM me.
3279761 I accept this then.
interesting
Just WOW,,,,,,,,,,,!
3283520 what do you mean?
is it bad i knew what her mom was saying before read the subtitles
Well, I've never seen something like this before. Not sure what to say, until the story progresses. But so far I liked it
The only thing that got me was:
But besides that everything is fine.
Now let's see if I got this right, Screwball is Screwloose's daughter, Diamond Tiara is a bitch as usual, Sweetie Belle has a crush on Button Mash (not the first I've seen of it, but I still like it), and you can actually beat the Running Man/Mare in OoT.
Awesome, I'll be waiting for more.
I like this. Not a pairing I've seen before so here's hoping it's as good as I think it will be. Keep practicing and improving and you'll have something special here.
3283524 EPIC STORY (KILLZ SELF TO PROOVE HOW HAPPY I AM)
Gotta say, for your first fic, this is pretty interesting. Apart from a few grammatical errors. (Saw three main Grammatical issues: Capitalization of 'I', some punctuation, and well the amke. Over all pretty simple stuff) I will be keeping an eye on this fic. :D
3279631 I understand, not trying to be rude, but I still use good grammar on my IPod...
Good on ya man!
first time :D, hope you enjoyed writing this!
Faved, also, it would help you can get someone to "pre-read" your work. they can help you pick out those grammar mistakes and possibly give you pointers on the overall impact and flow of your story!
the only thing to make this version of Screwball perfect, is if her father was Roid Rage... he probably is
watching intently
Goodjob, nice read
. do continue!
This is interesting. Don't overplay DT, it's easy to make her into a monster. Try to keep her mean but not awful and at least understandable, if not justifiable.
i wish there were more screwball fics. anyways, this looks promising, and looked good enough to be read immediately rather than toss it in my mountain of unread favs and read-it-later. anyways, good show, and this is impressive for a first fic. not that i would know, i cant right for shit
Hmm...interesting...
...and that's another fav you have earned, lad!
3278868 While I agree with this, I find it ironic the first commenter to criticize the author's poor grammar was himself not without sin when casting the first stone. You must
construct additional pylonsseparate independent clauses with proper punctuation to avoid run-on sentences!Oh god…Screwball…poor filly. Rejection is a bitch when it comes to puppy love.
Now I only hope her parents don't come knocking on Button Mash's door, demanding what he did to make their daughter cry (her dad at least).
oh god, Discord is not going to be happy....though on another note, what happened with Screw Loose speaks to how good in bed he must be, he obviously fucked her silly.
The worst offenders, the rest are just simple typos.
Sooo... we have one-way DiamondBelle, one-way ScrewMash, and possibly two-way ButtonBelle.
cdn.meme.li/i/m0mry.jpg
3304217 well, i have one reply.
Shut up and read it or shut up and read another ButtonBall story, oh wait there arnt any other ones.
3304217
It's not like this stories main focus is on that pairing. But I hope something interesting is done with it.
Just because of that? Really
I am intrigued to see what happens next
. Also I recommend typing on a computer, you'll make less mistakes that way.
3304617 cant my parents and siblings dont know im a brony.
3304697
You and I have different opinions there.
But I can understand the princess and cmc thing though, although I don't mind or dislike either.
I still think that you shouldn't let one pairing ruin the story for you, but to each their own,
3304697 Oh im sorry is your buttonball fic better than mine?
Oh thats right you dont have one. 
Not too thrilled about the TiaraBell secondary pairing but otherwise this is still going to be very good.
please. Do continue
3304867 oh dont worry, i have something in store for you bronies and pegasisters next chapter. MWAHAHAHAHAHA
Good story so far can't wait for next chapters :) oh an to everyone that's is or is going to bitch about this story just shut the fuck up an read something else unless u plan on offering the writer of the story some help if not piss the fuck off an go cry in a corner
3304697 i, for one, enjoy shipping of all kinds, you need to loosen up and pull that pole outta your flank, because i find DiamondBelle quite cute, as well as Twixie, RainbowSparkle, FlutterDash, DashiePie, ScootieBelle and many others
Very emotional ending......... I LIKE IT!
DT + SB + Discord = chaos.
Discord...that is so salty
wrong move you should watch what you say around girls
oh no this seems like it will turn out...chaotic