• Member Since 3rd Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen January 14th

Ash19256


Just a reader. No, I'm not a brony, nor do I hate bronies. I'm just a guy who likes to read good stories.

T
Source

One month until Nightmare Night. That is the thought going through Nyx's head just before she hears a large crash. When she arrives on the scene with her mother, Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the Mane Six, she discovers something that will change the world forever.

She discovers Clockwork.

This is the story of how a sentient machine from a distant planet became friends with the former Mare in the Moon.


This takes place in the Reality Checks Nyxverse, some time after Nightmare Night and Nyx


Nyx belongs to Pen Stroke, Author of Past Sins

Clockwork is an original character. It's best if you watch the documentary Alien Planet, though, as he was inspired in part by the main characters.
First FanFic here, so sorry if it sucks.


Credit for the title goes to UnKnownSalvation. Thanks a billion.

Credit editing goes to failedAccount. This guy is a brilliant editor.

Also, if someone would be willing to make an ACTUAL cover image instead of me having to borrow from the tv documentary Alien Planet, that would be much appreciated.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 47 )

Love this, wating for more

try to get all your chapters ver 1000, it will help you

I think I've got a few... I'll just throw whatever comes to my head.
A Clockwork Nyx
The Clockwork Chronicles
Crash Course
Heart and Gear
Stranded Clock

not bad so far, but the chapters feel a little short

3271234

More will be forthcoming once I get an editor and maybe a proof-reader.

NO!!! NO!! NO!!!! NEVER EVER JUST USE A PICTURE TO SHOW WHAT SOMETHING IS!! That is just lazy and wrong if you are serious about writing.

I am not happy with this quality of writing. I could go on and on with what could be improved. This is going to require a complete rewrite with an editor to get this story in proper shape.

Sorry if I seem like a jerk, I like the idea behind the story (because it is similar to my own first story i am working on.). But I am keeping an eye on this to see where it goes.

3273326

Yeah, I admit this probably sucks. I am not an author. At all.

3273329

Nether am I. I just observe and compare. I have seen another story that did the exact same thing with a Metroid crossover when describing Samus's ship and suit.

I am still actually designing what my robotic character looks like, I have the personality down but not their bodies.

I love the idea and I like ailen planet to, I think you should send down something like Ike, and have (robot name here) have a more "programmed " thought prosses. Sorry if it feels like I am forceing you to add it.

3285187

I was actually thinking of doing that, so I can show just how Clockwork feels about them. This trope comes into effect.

this seems rushed no offence but awesome idea:pinkiehappy:

3377154

Thanks.


(SPOILER ALERT)













Clockwork and the Eisenhower are sending data back to Earth all the time. Humans might appear.

see see it is ideas like these that keep me reading fanfics... this sounds like it is going to combine three of my favorite fanfics in one ( past sins/ nightmare night and nyx crossed with an idea that seems very similar to " arrow 18"

moar??:fluttercry:

Me wants moar...:raritydespair:

But in all seriousness I love the idea of this fic and I cannot wait to see where this goes...:pinkiehappy:

SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNN

you have a great plot here, but you are in such a rush to tell it that everything that is told to us from the Pony's viewpoint reads more like an outline of events than an actual story. Adjectives are your friend. Also, though you are doing a good job of using them to simulate Reality Check's style, perhaps be more sparing in the use of your footnotes, if only because some of the material you are putting in the footnotes is the kind of thing that should be in the story proper, helping put more meat on the bones, as it were.

3543468
Took place 675 years in the past from Clockwork's point of view.

3543488
I don't have an editor. :twilightblush:
I've posted a help request in Looking for Editors, though.

Also, if there are any artists out there, could I get some form of cover art please? The one I have is utter crap.

A crossover with Alien Planet......you have my interest:rainbowdetermined2:

more......more.....MORE.....MOOOORRREE!!!!:flutterrage:

"Gods know that my creators' ancestors were terrified of the first AI they created."

Gods? I thought that whoever would build him would go by scientific logic and not religion. But you never know.

3622404 Remember, this is a sapient AI. He is aware of the religous aspect of humanity, and guessed that the ponies also had religon.

3622701
Ah, I see, thanks.........and when is the next chapter...please:fluttershysad:

3623586

Waiting on an editor. ie. I don't have one. The last two have gone MIA.

I loved the movie Alien Planet. Glad someone made a crossover of it.

ATE!UPD :flutterrage:

(I'd be surprised if anyone got that minecraft pocket edition reference.)

3937159

This is going to be on hiatus until I can get a reliable editor who won't disappear on me. I've had TWO f:yay:ing editors disappear on me. TWO!

this isn't a human bashing fic is it? those make me sad.

Comment posted by Ash19256 deleted Mar 5th, 2014

3974137

Not gonna happen. Clockwork will eventually describe humans as "a fairly varied bunch. By no means perfect, but then again, no one is. For every group among them who would hate you, or wish you harm, there are two that will welcome you with open arms."

Just so you know, I may wind up re-writing this with help from my current editor, failedAccount, so don't be suprised if the chapter numbers and wordings change all of a sudden. Or the chapters change wildly.

Interesting. The idea of the original probes from the documentary would also be interesting but this has piked my attention. I half expect the riddle to be solved by one of the Cake babies.

I'm somewhat confused about Clockwork's design. Your description made it sound like it looks like an octagonal Curiosity with crab legs.Width is unknown but it sound's a lot smaller than what I would expect. From what I can recall, Ike had the size and subtlety of a flying rhinoceros. I kinda want to make a fic about the original probes making it to Equs now.

4953213
I will note that Clockwork is over 120 years into the future from the end of the first Alien Planet, with a new version of Moore's Law covering quantum computing having been in effect the whole way. Due to the change in means of locomotion, they could afford to shrink everything to the max.

Hope this goes better than first contact with an intelligent species on Darwin IV.

You should consider expanding on this.

6957962
Look up the made-for-TV movie Alien Planet, it isn't really necessary for understanding this story, but it will definitely help. That, and it's a great piece of speculative science fiction.

6957962 watch Alien Planet, you'll understand what he's talking about

IT'S ALIVE!

nicew to see this coming back

8809586
.... Sorry to disappoint. You will want to check blogs and the status of the story.

8810482
Damn, well they were a good ride. Good luck with yiur future plans.

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