Chapter 21: Memories
You make it to Twilight’s house shortly after leaving your own. You knock on the door, and a moment later it is answered by Spike. You enter, after exchanging some brief greetings, and Twilight enters the room a moments later.
“Oh, hi Storm. What brings you by?”
“Well, I was thinking about going out for some dinner, and I was wondering if you’d like to join me. I’d rather not eat alone.” She blushes slightly, but quickly recovers.
“That sounds wonderful. I’ll be ready in just a minute.” She rushes back upstairs, and true to her word, she comes back down a minute later. “Shall we?”
You walk over to the door and open it, allowing for her to go through first. You wave to Spike, and close the door. You take Twilight to a small restaurant you noticed on your walk through town, and so you decided to give it a shot.
It’s a quaint little place, and you and Twilight both enjoy yourselves. You talk about magic, and the history of Ponyville. Eventually, though, the topic comes to you.
“So, Storm, tell me some more about you. You’ve been here a while now, and surely there must be something interesting about you.” You look up from your food, and think for a moment.
“I don’t really know what to say. I have a few snatches of my old memories, but nothing really solid.” You don’t bring up the letter, since not even you understand it yet. As you sink into thought you start sifting through your memories. Everything you’ve done in Ponyville is clear, but before that everything is shrouded in a fog.
As you think a waiter accidentally drops a plate, and the crash jars you from your search…
You sit across from the man, and look him in the eye. His eyes widen when he sees your tears. It only lasts a moment before the despair returns.
With shaking hands you raise the pistol, and aim down the sights. Your finger tightens on the trigger, slowly.
“I’m so sorry.”
You gasp sharply as the memory ends, but Twilight is looking at you with concern on her face. “I killed someone.” It’s a whisper, but Twilight’s eyes go wide.
“You what?” You know she heard, but she still asked in disbelief.
“I killed a man. He was defenseless, and I killed him.” You push back from the table, pull out several handfuls of bits, and place them on the table. You quickly get up, and leave as fast as your maimed body can take you. Where you’re going, you don’t know, but you can’t be around anypony right now.
Your lungs start burning from the exertion, but you push forward. Soon you find yourself outside of Ponyville, in the midst of a large clearing. You lie down, and cry. Your believed innocence has been stolen from you by a past you can’t remember. Your tears finally dry, and you sit up. That was the old you. The new you has only helped, and no one needs to know what happened in your old life.
“Storm, my friend, it’s certainly been a while, hasn’t it?” The voice sends shivers down your spine, and you whirl around to see Discord floating a few feet off the ground.
“Discord. What do you want from me?” You do your best to sound angry, but the pain lacing your voice makes it difficult.
“Well, I’m just here to help out a good friend. You see, I know your past. That year you spent trapped in your mind allowed me to sift through your subconscious with incredible ease.” He comes a bit closer, and you pull back. “I know who you are better than you know yourself. And to be fair, even I am appalled at what you’ve done.”
“I’m not that person anymore! I don’t remember any of it!”
“If a pony gets drunk, and can’t remember anything they did, are they not responsible for what they did? Is amnesia really your only defense?” His words wound you, only because you see the truth behind them. Your head droops, and Discord floats gently before your eyes. “I can return those memories to you. And, because I’m so nice, I’ll do just that!” He pokes a claw at your head, and you are blinded by a sudden flash of light.
You watch in horror, fully aware of who you are, and where you’ve gone.
You’re in first grade, just two weeks into the new school year. You watch as your teacher gets a note from the principal, and she glances at you. A few minutes later, and your teacher escorts you to the principal’s office. You are confused, but you know that it can’t be good. They sit you down, and a minute later your mother enters, tears in her eyes. She immediately embraces you, and you don’t know what to do.
“Daddy’s dead.” Two words. You didn’t grasp the meaning entirely, but this small declaration, made at eleven thirty in the morning, changed everything.
It’s a few years later and you’re in fourth grade now. The dismissal bell rings, and you jump up with the rest of the students, eager to leave for the day. You run outside, and see Grandpa and Grandma waiting for you. They embrace you, and you hug them back.
“Hey, Champ. How was school today?” Grandpa picks you up, effortlessly, and gives you a piggy-back ride.
“It was okay. I wish I had more friends, though.” Grandma looks at you, compassion written on her face.
“One day I’m sure you’ll have plenty of friends. Maybe you’ll even find a nice girl someday?” You make a gagging motion as she speaks, but she continues. “You’ll find that there is a real magic to true friendship. A true friendship has several qualities that can’t be replaced.” A smile comes over her face, but you pay it no heed.
You’re in seventh grade now. You have no real friends, and so you spend most of your time alone. After lunch there is a brief period where the students have free time, to either play, or do some homework. You see a girl, and a boy, about to play a game, so you build up your courage, and ask to join them. They let you join, and in a matter of minutes you’ve made some friends. Their names were George, and Rachel.
It doesn’t last, though, as just a few months later George’s family moved away, and you never saw him again.
Your first year in high school, and you and Rachel were taking all the same classes. You were inseparable, but it wasn’t all so happy. Right after midterms Grandpa had a heart attack, and was hospitalized. Two weeks later he had another, and died as a result. The funeral was a crushing blow to you.
Rachel came with you, though. The two of you spent enough time together that she was like another member of your family.
Your high school years were largely uneventful, until your senior year that is. The first week of school Grandma died. The funeral was the first time you ever played Moonlight Sonata for a crowd. You missed almost a week of school after the funeral. Rachel came by everyday to hang out, and give you the work you were missing.
She never made you talk about it, unless you wanted to, and it was then that you realized your feelings for her. Two weeks after Grandpa died you approached Rachel with your feelings for the first time.
“Rachel, can we talk?” She turned to look at you, a smile on her face.
“Sure, what’s up?”
You suddenly found yourself unable to speak, but somehow you managed to tell her what you wanted to say. “I like you.” Graceful as ever.
“Well, duh! We’ve only been friends for five years!”
It never went any further than that. At least, not until that star gazing event.
Then the prom came, and you had the time of your life with Rachel. For the first time in a long time you were happy, but it all came crashing down. You never did tell her you loved her.
Her funeral service was probably the saddest one you ever attended. Even now, viewing your memories, it’s a blur of tears.
Then you were drafted. The US had been in financial trouble for years, and after the Canadian Annex you thought it would be over, but the global market crashed with the downfall of the EU. The US struggled to stay afloat, and so it launched a blitz against South America, hoping to take them over, and add to the dwindling US.
It wasn’t a war, though. It was a slaughter. You’re forced to witness your first execution. A week later came your second execution. The third village was the first to fight back, and you were shot.
The field medics swarmed over you, and tried to console you, but it meant nothing to you. Regrets filled your head, and you passed out. Two years you spent fighting in South America.
Finally, you were twenty-one. You read the letter once more, and watch your flight from the military compound.
Your awareness returns to the field you’re in once more. Discord is looking at you with a gleeful smile on his face. “Such chaos is good for the soul! I swear, I’ve gone through your history more times than I can count, and it still makes me smile to see that level of chaos!”
You can’t speak, though. You are flooded with anger, towards Discord for showing you this, and sadness for what you’ve gone through. Discord stops smiling, and he looks towards you. “I do so enjoy this storm of emotions inside you. In fact…” His clawed hand turns transparent, and then plunges into your chest. You gasp in pain as you feel his clawed hand move inside you. A moment later he pulls his hand out, and in it is a pulsing black sphere. “I may just have a use for this. Well, enjoy your life!” He vanishes in a puff of smoke, and you just stare at where he was.
You sit there for almost two hours, unmoving. A hoof gently rests on your shoulder, but you don’t turn to look. Another hoof comes down on you other shoulder, but still you don’t turn. Rainbow, Fluttershy, Twilight, and Applejack all come into view in front of you, but you don’t actually look at any of them. They all sit down, and wait.
“I’m a monster.” It’s all you manage to say. They look amongst themselves for a moment, and then back to you.
“What do you mean?” Applejack is the first to speak.
“I’ve killed people. I killed them while I looked them in the eyes. I could have refused, but I was too weak.” The executions weigh down on you heavily. None of them know how to respond, and it shows on their faces. You wait a moment, and then you look at Rainbow Dash. Those eyes…
“Girls, I’m going to need some time to reconcile who I am with who I was. I’ll talk to all of you tomorrow, but now I need to talk with Rainbow Dash alone.” They all nod, and stand. You get a quick hug from Pinkie and Applejack as they leave, but then it’s just you and Rainbow Dash.
She moves into a position where she is sitting directly across from you. You look into her eyes, and what you thought is true. They are the same shade of pink. There is the same sparkle that you just saw in her eyes through your memories.
“Rainbow, who are you?” You lower your head as you speak. This will be difficult, and you know it.
“I’m just me. Fastest flier in Equestria.” There’s no enthusiasm this time, and the small hesitance showed clearly that she wanted to say more.
“No. You’re more than that. I’ve seen those eyes before, and I think that there is more to you than you’re letting on.” You take a deep breath, and look her right in the eyes. “Rachel. Is that you?”
Silence descends upon the two of you for what feels like an eternity. Finally she speaks. “Yes.”
A single word. No elaboration was really needed, but you needed to know more. “Why didn’t you say anything? I am forced into this world, and I find myself being showered with affection from six different ponies, and you know it’s me? You, the girl who I knew for close to six years, decided that you wouldn’t say anything?”
“Kurt (Quick note: I finally decided on YOUR name, and it’s Kurt.) I never meant to hurt you, but I was told not to tell anyone! When I was brought here when I died I was put in a situation like yours. I lived the beginning of my life like any other pegasus. It wasn’t until I got my cutie mark that all my memories came back to me. I wasn’t allowed to say anything until you got yours.”
“But now I know. What did you expect would happen when I suddenly found out I KILLED people? I killed more people than I could count on both hands, and yet I am here! I’m in this bountiful paradise, surrounded by ponies, PONIES, who love me. What did Celestia expect would happen when I found out?”
“When I got my cutie mark, my memories came back to me slowly, and I had time to reconcile who I was with who I am.”
“Well that’s good for you, but I had no such luxury! I had to deal with Discord forcing all my memories on me in a tide of the worst points in my life! I don’t even remember any of my birthdays, save for the last one.” You start crying, but you don’t stop speaking. “And I remember when you left me. I was there for you. I promised that I’d be there, but I broke that promise. I wanted nothing more than to be there when you woke up. I’d finally have told you that I loved you! But now? Now I don’t even know who I am anymore. I know more about myself than I ever have, but I’ve never been more of a stranger.”
Rachel/Rainbow is crying, but that doesn’t deter you. “How do I continue? What is right for me? I still have feelings for you, but I don’t know whether it’s because of Rachel or Rainbow! And I have feelings for the others too, but is that because they were all part of my old life too?”
“No. They are all naturally born ponies. None of them have any connection to your old life.”
You are running out of anger, and you realize just how confused you are. Not only emotionally, but mentally too. “I need some time, Dashie. Or Rachel. I don’t know anymore. I need to sort through all of this mental baggage and figure out who I really am. And I do intend to go through with what I promised the others. They’ll each get a chance to win my heart. Even you will get your chance, but I don’t want to promise my heart to you, when I don’t even know you anymore.” You get up, and turn around, ready to head home.
You hear a gasp from behind, and you look back to Rainbow. She’s pointing at your flank, and you look at it. There’s a shield, of some sort, with a bolt of lightning running across it. You have no idea what it signifies, but you don’t bother yourself with it now. “Good night Rainbow.”
You head back to your house, leaving Rainbow in the field. You look up to the night sky on your trip home, and you see the moon appears almost directly over your house.
“The moon will guide you, as it did for me.” A single tear runs down your cheek. “Grandma.”
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dun dun duuuuun SHOCKER TWIST! I think this may be my favorite chapter so will we see grandma next? What is discord planning? will I stop narrating? ill stay tuned and find out!
Woah! Now this I did NOT see coming!
Memories returning (they are bad ones, but still...), Rachel revealed, and my cutie mark! I cant wait to see how the rest plays out! Keep up the good work! 
379682 If you wish to continue narrating, be my guest. I got a good laugh out of your comment. As for seeing Grandma... Well, considering that you don't know who she is, that's doubtful. But you will be starting your search for answers. Oh, that, and continuing your romance with the other members of the mane 6. Can't forget them, now can we?
380445 This was a hard chapter to write. It took me some time to get everything the way I wanted it, and eventually I just had to force myself to stop, since I could've kept going with ease. And you don't know what your cutie mark signifies. There will be more about that later, but for now I'll leave you guessing.
And for a real thriller, I revealed your actual name!
I probably won't get a new chapter up tomorrow, since I have an essay to write (I hate writing essays...) and I've been procrastinating like a champ. But if I do get one up I'll be sure to have it just as good as the others.
I
this story 
388671 Glad you like it. I intend to add another chapter today. Probably not till later, as I have work, but I think that I will get another up.
It's been at least three chapters since last blacking out. What?
393214 Is that a problem? Most people would be grateful not to blackout all the time.
I'm not sure. It just makes me feel comfortable knowing where I stand, which is normally lights out on the floor.
393885 Not sure yet, but I think you may have to wait another few chapters before blacking out again. It is sometimes useful for plot purposes, but too often and it becomes tedious. But if you want to see yourself black out, I'll see what I can do about that.
So, you decided to use MY name.
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This chapter is written great and is so sad.
495941 I just reread it, and i had to ALMOST wipe a manly tear. I wrote this, and I feel slightly emotional whilst reading it.
There shall be only one word.
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"Then you were drafted. The US had been in financial trouble for years, and after the "Canadian Annex" you thought it would be over, but the global market crashed with the downfall of the EU. The US struggled to stay afloat, and so it launched a blitz against South America, hoping to take them over, and add to the dwindling US"
....And then An alliance of Canada, Russia, and the new United Persia (old world middle east, and yes ALL OF IT) calling itself the "Red Star Alliance" Invaded the crumbing U.S. and seized control. Eventually Canada was given the entirety of the old U.S. (same for the south- eastermost states, as those went to Mexico, now Atlzan), and Canada grew into one of the most advanced nations on the planet, While the R.S.A. grew, both in member countries and conquered territory, Canada became the first nation to switch from Gasoline to Hydrogen, further boosting it's economy. With the added cash, Canada began funding of the most advanced army on the planet, but remained peaceful towards all despite it's current allegiances. However, peace was not to last. Atlzan, starving for money and quickly degenerating, launched a suicide attack deep into the heart of North America. Canada, along with it's long standing ally Cuba, retailiated and quickly overwhelmed Mexico, seizing control. However, newly-founded Canadian ambition did not stop there, and Canada quickly invaded all of the remaining North American- territory. Cuba was given command of most of Central America (encompassing the northernmost portions of South America, the Panama Canal, and all other territory up until former Mexico's southernmost border), while Canada funded the building of the Cuban Navy, inadvertantly aiding Cuba's invasion of all the Carribean. Such actions were overlooked by the rest of the world, as Russia had pulled a great many strings for it's two oldest allies. After a brief period of peace, conflict broke out in Europe, and Britain (now a member of the R.S.A.) called in aid to repel a great many dictatorships that had formed in the now bankrupt continent. As the U.N. was now much less than non- existant, the R.S.A. went in to try and restore peace. After many a failed attempt at Peacekeeping, United Persia launched nuclear warheads into Europe. This act was lawed against (by the R.S.A.) and as such the R.S.A. went into a bitter set of in-fights and power struggles. Eventually the Cubans left the R.S.A., fearing war was near. This act drew lines, and Soon the R.S.A. was completely disbanded, with two newer powers forming in it's place. The( Persian -led, Chinese -supported) Asian Triplicate, and the (Canadian/ Russian -led) White Star Alliance (founded on the ashes and morals of the R.S.A.). Conflict ensued when the A.T. tried to overthrow the Democratic government of Egypt. As wars between more and more members of both factions, the W.S.A. decided the time for peace was over, and luanched a tactical first strike, crippling the A.T. with a massive amount of (mostly Canadian) EMP missiles (Canada had replaced it's nuclear weapons with long range EMPS during It's invasion of the U.S., saying that they were both easier to produce, cheaper, and left none of the harmful effects of a nuke, plus they could be used to intercept nukes and ICBMs en route.). The A.T. responded by invading Russia, Australia, and western Africa. The war dragged on for 6 whole years, with no side gaining clear advantage, until a major Russian breakthrough sparked Nuclear retaliation from the A.T.. After a series of close calls and saves, the W.S.A. launched an all-out strike into Persia, taking its's capital and government hostage. Persia soon surrendered, and was swiftly broken up between members of the W.S.A.. China held the few remaining members of the A.T. together for two more years, then fell apart under immense strain. The A.T. was also broken up and divided between the members of the W.S.A., and new rules were established. The world had suffered through one of the longest and most brutal wars in it's history, and most of it was in the hands of the W.S.A. (what wasn't soon was). Eventually Russia and Canada mainly established a system of rules, which dictated that international disputes were to be resolved by voting between the members of the W.S.A.. This tactic became so effective the the W.S.A. soon began plans for unifying it's militaries, and later, it's currency system. Eventually, through many series of votes and ploys, all members of the W.S.A. (literally the world) joined into one large, cohesive nation (or planet, as many now refer to the unification act as having born). The world enjoyed an immense period of shared wealth and science, and eventually established the grounds for constuction of an interstellar fleet to travel the stars, and expand Humanity's culture across the cosmos.
..... call me a nerd, but it seems like I know the future better than anyone here?
sorry about that ^ but I didnt realise how long it really was until I posted it, PLEASE dont call it spam!
\
anyways I am really enjoying the story so far... KEEP IT UP! About my lil history lesson, the rather Impossible "Canadian Annexation" made me go off on a tangent, sorry again.
Fucking I don't think it is health to add such a huge plot twist. I mean it could really hurr.. Oh god
this is bad ................. T someone's mind
454804
And now i'm using your name!
OOOOOORAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!
I was drinking Dr.Pepper when reading this. When I found out Rainbow was Rachel, I did an imediate spit-take! I was NOT expecting that!
Bonus: Heaven is Equestria! :)
934072
You forgot to factor in the panic and eventual launch of the nukes. We have a strong mentality for, "If we're going down, we're taking everyone else with us."
his grandmother is luna. a guess.
.....Wow. That got really stupid really fast.
...Annex of Canada?? Did somepony watch the South Park movie before writing this chapter??
Wait... Rainbow is...
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So who's Grandma? Celestia?
Well... Shit
Well that got interesting real quick, didn't it? More than makes up for the break.
3070408 Or played Fallout.