You'll Be In My Heart

They say that after spending enough time with someone, you'll never forget them. No matter what, they'll always be with you. However, this brings up the question one must ask. How long is enough to even remember their face?

Submitted for the 31shotober challenge! (The first one actually submitted in October...)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

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Pump It Up

Pump It Up #1 · Oct 1st, 2013 · · · You'll Be in My Heart ·

Beautiful!

Cromegas_Flare

Cromegas_Flare #2 · Oct 1st, 2013 · · · You'll Be in My Heart ·

Well done.

TheExhaustedBrony

TheExhaustedBrony #3 · Oct 1st, 2013 · · · You'll Be in My Heart ·

3286724 thank you!

Fluttrick

Fluttrick #4 · Oct 1st, 2013 · · · You'll Be in My Heart ·

A few grammatical errors here and there, but a fine piece of literature indeed!

Cawfee

Cawfee #5 · Oct 1st, 2013 · · · You'll Be in My Heart ·

meeting with A stallion who's been

No need for capitalization of that a
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Manehatten, and Cloudsdale.

Unnecessary comma
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To be honest, based on the stories I've heard about his house falling apart, I'd expected his house to do the same.

Am I reading this wrong or is there something off about this?
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The stallion scowled, "what's it mean to you?
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shook my head, "no sir, that's not true at all.

Capitalization when starting dialogue!
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"Do you note like cleaning?" I asked,

note Whoops
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He be tarted staring at his hooves with a look of disappointment,

Shouldn't that be, he started
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I mean, look at what it's done to me?

That just had an unnecessary question mark.

I'm sorry if I've bothered you with my pickiness but other than those few errors this was quite a lovely read

TheExhaustedBrony

TheExhaustedBrony #6 · Oct 1st, 2013 · · · You'll Be in My Heart ·

3286788 the reason for most of these is because I don't have a computer. I've been writing all my stories on my phone... Another reason why autocorrect is an asshole.

Cawfee