• Published 8th Oct 2013
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The Speechless Spartan in Equestria - marking



Stories revolving around an unidentified odd Spartan of the UNSC in Equestria.

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An Armistice CH8

An Armistice

Princess Celestia woke up the very next day in what she could only explain as a horribly uncomfortable position. Her head ached with the intensity of ten thousand suns, but as she attempted to massage her head she found herself unable to move. Her whole body had been incased in a bright pink crystal prison that reached up to her neck. Her eyes widened and looked around to see that in front of her was her very own sister grinning manically.

“L-Luna? W-what’s going on? And why do I feel like the friendship express rammed against my head?” Celestia asked.

“Oh don’t worry about that sister as I already took care of it, as a matter of fact that is why I’m here right now!” Luna replied with glee.

“Lulu you’re going to have to be more specific than that, and if you can please pass me some migraine pills. The strong ones, not those weak ones they give out at the hospitals,” Celestia said.

“Of course dear sister.” replied Luna as a few pills popped into Celestia’s mouth.

“Thank you, now, can you explain to me why I seem to be your hostage?” Celestia asked.

“Well I thought that if we were going to do this then we would have to make sure you could stay calm,” Luna said.

“Calm for what? Luna I don’t see-“ Celestia said before Luna’s horn began glowing brightly and Celestia’s crystal rock rotated to see behind her where a fully crystalized Spartan was. Well his head was somewhat free of crystals but that was it, he couldn’t even turn his head if he wished to do so.

In a flash the memories of the past night rolled through Celestia’s head; the worry of him being lost and the relief of him actually having come back. That was until the very vivid image of a fist headed towards her face appeared. The temperature in the room seemed to rise as Celestia grinded her teeth.

“I can see that you now remember what happened yesterday Sister, and that’s why I took the precaution to place both of you inside these crystals. Quite ingenious isn’t it? Now we are all going to have a good calm conversation and we’ll-“ Luna said before the distinct sound of a magic blast filled the room as the crystalized Spartan flew out through a hole in the wall and onto the training grounds.

The crystal on the Spartan shattered like glass as he hit the ground leaving him grunting in pain, such a thing happens when your armor doesn’t lock up.

Luna I trusted you,’ the Spartan thought.

Luna looked in shock at what happened and then saw the crystal around her sister melt away from her body before she flew through the hole in the wall. Luna approached the hole and saw the quite tremendous fall as well as her sister descending upon the Spartan whilst engulfed in flames.

“Huh, how did I forget about her horn?” Luna asked to herself as she looked back into the room where a broken magic dispersion ring rested as smoke rose from it, “Well I’ll be, seems like I didn’t. Uh oh,” she said before she too flew from the room into the soon to be battlefield.


The Spartan had finally stood up when a ball of flames collided with him and sent him to the ground, on top of him stood none other than Princess Celestia as she raised her hooves to give a stomp.

The Spartan raised both of his legs and promptly wrapped them over the Princess’s torso as he swiftly sent her flying back to the other side of the training grounds and smashed into the ground herself. The guards had begun to alert the others as some begun to take action and tried to attack the Spartan. They raised their spears and approached before a booming voice came from none other than Celestia herself, “DO NOT INTERFERE! HE IS MINE!!!

Celestia propped herself up as the guards paused in their progress as their princess lunged at the Spartan. Celestia made for a tackle before the Spartan side stepped and pulled her from the collar into the ground in a resounding smash. He approached her before a leg bucked him in the jaw, sending him flying into the training dummies. Celestia took the time to stand up and began shooting spell after spell where the Spartan had crashed through.

“SISTER! STOP THIS AT ONCE!” Luna yelled as she arrived at the training grounds.

Celestia ignored her as a massive charged ball of electricity was hurled towards the Spartan’s position. The explosion shook the ground as the blinding light and deafening sound subsided, by then guards were pouring out of the castle, some of them covered in bandages. Among them were Princess Cadance and former guard captain Shining Armor; Twilight Sparkle had yet to appear.

“What is going on!?” Princess Cadance asked.

“It seems that my sister and Silent Warrior are in some sort of kerfuffle.” Said Luna

“Silent Warrior? Wasn’t he supposed to be dead,” Shining Armor asked in irritation before getting jabbed in the side by his wife.

“Shiny play nice, you know that was a misunderstanding,” Cadance said.

“Yeah I guess,” Shining said as the whole training ground stood still and in silence for a while, “What’s going on now though?” he asked

“I’ll tell you what happened Prince Shining Armor,” Celestia said through gritted teeth, “Mr. Warrior came back from space only to punch me in the face.”

“WHAT!?” screamed both Shining Armor and Cadance.

“Sister you sent him to die in outer space!” reminded Luna.

“Yes! And now I’m going to break his legs!” Celestia yelled back before a pony dummy smashed into her face while she was distracted.

Not if I get to you first,’ the Spartan thought as he grabbed another dummy and flung it at the alicorn.

“What kind of warrior without honor attacks at an opponent’s back!?” Celestia screamed in frustration before vaporizing the second dummy.

Those who are alive,’ the Spartan thought as he took the time to flank her from the side.

“Princess, to your right!” Shining Armor yelled as Princess Celestia turned in time to pull up a shield as the Spartan’s fist collided with it.

Cracks formed where he struck and a reverberating sound came out of which the ponies flinched as well as the Princess inside who closed her eyes and covered her ears. This broke her concentration as the shield vanished. The Spartan tackled the Princess to the ground and raised his fist before four auras of magic formed around his body pertaining to the four royals of the area. Only wanting to get him off of Princess Celestia turned into ejecting the Spartan far into the air until he was but a mere dot in the sky.

“I think we over did it,” Luna said as the dot began falling back down as it turned bright yellow like a meteor falling down.

“What in Tartarus is he doing?” Princess Luna asked before her eyes widened and saw the Spartan headed towards Celestia with a kick as fire blazed over him at the speed and force he was getting.

Up in the sky the Spartan had engaged the armor lock and was aiming for Celestia like a kinetic missile. ‘I told you next time you did that I would be sticking my foot up your ass Celestia!’ he thought as the ground came faster and faster.

Shining Armor didn’t wait for the Spartan to touch ground before he erected a shield over all the ponies on the ground; his wife Princess Cadance erected a shield right beneath it. Celestia underneath was charging up a magical blast that aimed right for the Spartan. All of them were unaware of the purple alicorn who had just arrived on scene.

“WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON HERE!?” she yelled as all the ponies looked at her.

As soon as they did the Spartan impacted against the first shield and blasted though it like a bullet and then smashed through the second like a bulldozer, Celestia having been distracted missed her shot by a few inches which grazed the Spartan enough to change his trajectory and smashed into the middle of the ground between all of the royals which ended up with an explosion of ground and rock as a seismic wave made the world shake.

The world stood still as the Spartan rose from the crater as the dust settled. The Princess and Prince of the Crystal Empire rubbed their heads as they clumsily attempted to keep standing. Luna simply looked blankly at Twilight Sparkle and Celestia seemed scared of her student seeing her like this.

“Umm, Silent Warrior and Celestia were just having a sparring match!” Luna interjected which got a resounding “WHAT!?” from every single spectator on the field. Even the Spartan looked quizzically at Luna.

“Yes that is exactly what’s going on right everypony?” Luna asked with the fakest smile she had ever given since telling Blueblood she wouldn’t sell him to a band of pirates were she given the chance.

“Yesssssss, that is indeed exactly what we are doing Twilight,” Celestia said sheepishly.

“What are you ponies talking about? Celestia and that thing were-“ Shining Armor said before Cadance’s horn began glowing and his eyes turned into pinpricks and began watering, “I mean, sure yeah thatsexactlywhattheyweredoing!” he said in a far higher pith than normal.

Cadance didn’t say anything as her horn stopped glowing and she looked at the suddenly very interesting stone pillar to her side while whistling a catchy tune.

The Spartan looked dumbfounded at all the ponies as he caught the frantic look Celestia had in her eyes while looking at him. For a second there he thought about outright telling Twilight what was going on but he remembered his inability to convey specific messages. He sighed as he looked at Twilight and shrugged.

You owe me Sunbutt,’ the Spartan thought.

An awkward silence reigned as Twilight’s expression turned from intrigue to irritation.

“You know what? I don’t even want to know. Not the fact that Silent is somehow back from the grave. Not the fact that the whole training grounds looks like a war took place here. Not even the small fire on Princess Celestia’s tail. I’m just going to turn around, go back to the library and if any of you feel like you need me please don’t search for me. You can explain to me what happened at a later date,” Twilight said as she turned around and left.

Heh, I like her attitude,’ the Spartan thought.

As soon as she was out of sight every single one of the Royals and guards in the area let out the breath of air they were holding.

Celestia was suddenly reminded of something Twilight said as a trail of smoke hit her nose, “Ahhh!” she screamed as she galloped in circles, “Put me out! Put me out!”

As you wish,’ the Spartan thought as he cracked his neck and cocked his fist back, ‘Come here so I can put you out of our misery!

He didn’t take two steps in before a giant gush of water fell on both Celestia and him as they both stood in shock. Both of them looked simultaneously towards a certain dark alicorn holding a rather grey cloud. They both looked at each other and nodded before moving towards Luna.

It took a while before the message clicked for Luna as her expression turned from curiosity to fright as her horn glowed and the cloud floated between them.

“STAY BACK! I HAVE CLOUD AND I WILL NOT FEAR USING IT!” Luna said while wrapping her hooves around the cloud and cocking it like a gun. *Cha-cuck*

The Spartan stared at her quizzically before he had to duck and roll as a lightning bolt shot from the cloud in his direction. This seemed to set off alarms for every pony as they all ducked for cover. Celestia and the Spartan found themselves behind a bunch of broken training dummies as they figured out a plan to take Luna down.

“Alright, here’s how we do this: you go and take a lightning strike the team as I take the opportunity to ram her,” Celestia said.

Or! OR! You can go fuck yourself!’ the Spartan thought as he flipped her “the bird” in a clown in the box gesture.

“Good to have you on board!” she said as her horn and the Spartan wedged himself into the ground.

“Come on don’t be such a baby! It’s only a lightning bolt!” Celestia grunted as she tried to pry the Spartan off the ground.

Fuck off you mad horse!’ the Spartan thought as he changed his grip from the ground and latched onto Celestia.

“What are you doing!?” she yelled in panic as the Spartan jumped out of cover with her in tow.

If I fry you fry with me!’ he thought as Luna aimed at them in time for them to look at her in panic.

They attempted to duck for cover once more before a bolt of lightning struck the dummies and blew them to pieces.

“HUZZAH! You have nowhere to go now!” yelled Luna.

Both the Spartan and Celestia seemed to come to the same conclusion and took to charging at Luna from different directions. Luna attempted shooting Celestia but it was to no avail as the lightning was stopped by a shield. She then aimed at the Spartan only for the electricity to course through the soldier and down to the ground without making him flinch. Luna yelped as she was tackled to the ground by both parties. Celestia proceeded to tickle the crap out of her sister as the Spartan went the more aggressive way and gave her a noogie. Luna had never been laughing and grunting in pain at the same time, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.

Luna gasped for air before Celestia got on top of her and held her down as the Spartan knelt beside her.

“W-what are you doing?” Luna asked.

And now for the piece de resistance…’ the Spartan thought as he lifted his helmet a little and stuck his finger into his mouth.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”Luna screamed in fright as Celestia held her firmly and the Spartan really soaked his finger.

The Spartan took his finger out as the helmet fell back on and began approaching the Princess’s ear with it.

“NO! STAY AWAY! YOU PSYCOPATHS! STOP! SOMEPONY! ANYPONY! HELP!!!!” she said as the Spartan gave her a wet willy. The first wet willy in Equestria came to be as Luna lost consciousness.

Both the Spartan and Celestia stood up and nodded to each other before looking back and seeing the whole community of ponies looking at them like they were maniacs.

“I guess we both made mistakes don’t you think?” Celestia asked without looking at the Spartan.

The Spartan nodded as both of them began walking away from the unconscious princess of the night and into the castle. None of the ponies present stood in their way.

“What do you say we let bygones be bygones and start a new chapter? A ceasefire if you like?” Celestia asked while the Spartan seemed to mull it over.

“I know what I did was exaggerated but you need to understand that Twilight is very special to me, I would do anything for her. When I thought you of all ponies had tried to harm her I just didn’t think straight. Please would you allow us to start over, it would really mean a lot to me and her,” Celestia asked.

The Spartan looked at her for a brief moment as they stopped in the halls, ‘By all rights I should be allowed to kill you but for some reason I find myself unwilling to do so. Huh… this place must be getting to me,’ the Spartan thought before he shrugged and raised his hand.

Celestia stared quizzically at it before the Spartan took the initiative and snatched her hoof and began to promptly shake it and her in extension with possibly more force than was needed. Celestia was left stumbling as she dizzily regained her balance, “ThanK..YOoooUU.” she said still slightly dazed.

The Spartan nodded before making his way towards the castle’s kitchen, it had been a long day after all and he found himself in need of something delicious.

Who knows, maybe these ponies aren’t so bad,’ the Spartan rounded a corner before a full entourage of guards appeared in front of him.

“HALT FOUL BEAST!” cried the leader

Or maybe not,’ he thought before getting ready to pummel through the ponies. The kitchens had something he wanted and nothing would stand in his way.


*I would like to thank both Requiem17 and Nanofield for making this new chapter possible.

Author's Note:

Well looks like I'm back. Lets get this story back up and running shall we? New cover art and the possibility of having some art made for the following chapters.