Unforgivable
Being a princess teaches you how to smile.
Luna had many other expressions, of course. When she needed her ponies to fear her, she could erupt in a calculated show of wrath. For a more intimate confidence, a laugh, a jest, or even a moment of vulnerability revealed could all lower a subject’s guard to create the relationship she needed.
Most of her duties only required her to smile.
Smiling served her well as she saw the unknown streets of Ponyville for the first time. Her sister had insisted that they ride on a chariot, carted by pegasus stallions in a fashion once reserved for the elderly and infirm. If Celestia had not ridden with her, she would have assumed this to be a punishment of humiliation.
Crowds of townsponies watched as she was carted along like an old mare. None of them could see her cheeks burning beneath her dark blue coat. They could only see her smile.
Before Ponyville had been settled, it was simply a river flowing through a stretch of nameless woods. She had known every curve of the brook and the location of every foxhole. Now she saw ugly thatched roofs everywhere, and not a single of the stone arches that had been favored by the ponies of old. Luna decided she preferred the land that had been before Ponyville.
The great tree was especially difficult to look at. She had used its thick leaves twice to hide from and once to ambush the minions of Discord. Countless sunny days had been spent slumbering within the warm embrace of its branches. A tree so old and magnificent was as good as unique, and might have yet grown for a thousand years still.
Somepony had hollowed it out and made it into their home. Killing a dragon and sleeping in its skull might have been less revolting. Luna averted her gaze and smiled.
The chariot stopped so that Celestia could give a speech. She spoke only a few sentences to reassure everypony that she was alright, and mention the glorious reunion with her sister. As they stared at both of them with blank cheer, Luna realized they didn’t even recognize her from last night. Remembering the grim and solid ponies from long ago, who had little cheer but great honor, Luna decided she didn’t recognize them either.
Luna had been preparing for a speech of her own. The words would be familiar and overused, but she felt she needed the chance to apologize, to assure them that she would work for their good once again. As the crowd cheered and stamped their hooves for her sister, she was denied an opening to begin. So instead of her speech, she smiled.
Nopony truly needed to learn to smile. Newborn foals would often begin before they had even learned to walk. Smiles were a natural response to happiness, their only purpose to spread their joys to other ponies.
Luna could smile with her lips and her eyes, even when suffering the crowds of Ponyville. Luna could not remember the last time her smile had meant anything. It was merely a lie to reassure others. Turning a smile into a tool had destroyed its meaning. Luna had murdered her smile.
Beside her, Celestia smiled. Her sister had taught her to murder.
Luna thought back to the observatory and the Elements. The gentle offer, the tearful embrace. The audience of six watching. Her sister’s perfect smile and grateful tears.
Celestia could fake tears as well. She had taught Luna how, after all.
A flash of mauve in the crowd brought Luna back to reality. Two pegasus foals flew up to her and placed a wreath of flowers around her neck. Her smile vanished immediately as she stared at the decoration. Not because she despised such a garish display, though she did. Her shock was due to one of the two foals.
A foal who didn’t look anything like her Nightshade.
But one with an identical smile.
*****
She first saw a blur streaking past her muzzle and felt a weight leave her head. In a blink her crown had vanished from her brow.
Her guards stumbled to attention, instantly alert. By the time they took flight to chase after the assailant, the tiny blue zephyr had vanished. They were too late.
Luna herself took off, with speed that sent a whip-crack ringing through the air. Her massive wingspan carried her after her assailant down an alley with a turn that would slice a cloud in half, and then she was on her prey - just a filly, she realized. Pitch black fur and a bare flank.
She caught the little girl and picked her up in one hoof. The thief kicked and squirmed.
“Get yer hooves offa me!”
“You have a fighting spirit, child. But I can’t let you keep that.”
“Why not? I wanna to sell it and get somethin’ to eat!” The child’s face compressed in sullen despair. “Bet you’ve never been so hungry you couldn’t even sleep.”
“I have been that and more. But what about yourself? Who lets you go hungry in the streets, stealing from princesses?”
The filly stopped squirming. “I don’t got parents.”
“No one looks after you at all?”
“I look after myself.”
“What is your name?”
“Ragamuffin.”
Luna couldn’t help but smile. “Alright, Ragamuffin. I have never seen so much potential for the magic of flight in a pegasus so young. You have a gift that I cannot allow this world to squander. Would you like to become my student?”
Luna set the tiny creature down, waiting as she stared up at the princess.
“If not, then I should at least try to find some arrangement to—”
“Okay.”
Luna couldn’t be sure what she heard. “Okay what?”
“OKAY!” cried Ragamuffin. “I’ll be yer student!”
“I don’t think I want a student named Ragamuffin.”
The child’s face fell. “Oh...”
Luna smiled even wider. “Do you like the name Nightshade? It’s the name of a beautiful flower, that is very dangerous to mishandle.”
The filly’s eyes gleamed. “I like it. Like it a lot.”
Luna picked the filly up again, and set her on her back. “Good. Your name is Nightshade.”
Huffing, Luna’s bodyguard quartet rushed around the corner, nearly barreling into Luna before scrambling to a halt. “Your highness!” cried the head. “We got here as fast as we could! Are you well?”
“It appears so,” said Luna, looking over her shoulder and smiling at the orphan. Her crown still sat atop Nightshade’s brow, half-covering her eyes.
“What should we do with the child?” asked another.
Luna looked at each of them then, lips quivering. All pegasi, none with the courage to look her disapproval in the eye. “You mean the child you were unable to beat in a wing race?”
Nopony answered.
“Don’t worry about it,” said Luna. “You’re all fired.”
“Where are we going?” asked Nightshade as they left her former guard behind.
“To a place with a delicious meal, and a warm bed. You will sleep soundly, and when you awaken, you and I will race through the sky, chasing the horizon.”
*****
Memories of ponies one-thousand years gone did nothing for Luna’s mood. She wanted to retire early but couldn’t find an opening to make the request. Celestia had submerged herself in the crowd of ponies, and their legions of well wishes and cries of relief drowned out anything Luna could say. She could have used her Royal Canterlot voice of course, but it would be pointless. She knew her sister was evading her on purpose.
Luna tried to follow Celestia’s example herself to no avail. Her only rewards were nervous smiles and averted eyes. The townsponies wouldn’t even speak with her.
It took hours for Celestia to finally approach her to tell her it was time to leave.
“Wasted enough time?” asked Luna coldly.
“Unfortunate but necessary,” conceded Celestia. “These ponies saw their princess vanish. I needed time to show them that everything will be fine.”
“Where did you go? I wanted to fight you but I couldn’t find you anywhere.”
“I’ll explain later. Our chariot will bring us to Canterlot, and there is much to do before either of us can rest.”
Luna stepped off the gaudy, gold and white contraption, blanking her expression as she stared at it. “Chariot? You mean to continue riding this... thing... throughout our entire flight?”
“Well... I have a few decorated more to your style, but I didn’t bring them. I didn’t want to have to explain—”
“That’s hardly the point! Have you forgotten the days when we would only allow those who could match our wingbeats to be called our guards? How did you go from that to being carted around by these over-armored buffoons!” She gestured contemptuously to the gold-helmed pegasi, who tensed and stood up straighter. She thought of those escorts she had dismissed when she had first met Nightshade. None of them had met her physical expectations, but she wouldn’t hesitate to put the weakest of the lot over any of Celestia’s chosen stallions.
“Luna!” Celestia did not raise her voice, but made her admonishment clear. “You have no cause to humiliate these fine boys in such a way. I selected them personally for you, and they are honored to provide you with an escort. Try to show them the gratitude that they deserve!”
In other words, smile and pretend everything is fine.
Luna’s hoof dug an eight inch fissure in the ground. “I won’t be carted around like a foal, sister. I will carry my own weight, as I did one-thousand years ago!”
“Times aren’t what—”
“Race me!”
Celestia sighed. “Stop this. I’m not going—”
“THEN YOU WILL TASTE MY DUST, SISTER!”
She thrust her wings back and exploded into the the sky. The shock of her ascension pulsed through her bones, relishing the tingle as the wind rushed against her coat.
She heard something break, and saw a splintered plank from the chariot whirling past her. Celestia was right behind her.
Forgotten muscles sprung back to life as she sped toward Canterlot castle. Celestia soon took the lead, her great size belying the speed at which she could accelerate. Luna pushed all her strength into a mighty sprint, and found to her dismay that her wings could hardly close the distance before faltering. The years had not treated her so well.
The same could be said of Celestia, who lost more speed than she should have while averting a cloud bank. As Luna passed her, she was reminded of another race. So unlike this one, between two duelists in peak condition.
And yet we raced over this very land.
*****
“I’m resigning as Captain of the Shadowbolts,” said Nightshade. A mare grown and filled, sleek, well-muscled, and tall, she tended to stare down at her subordinates. Luna could sympathize.
Rising from her desk, Luna stepped outside the open balcony window. “What brought this on?” she asked.
Nightshade followed after. “I want you to give me a new position. An ambassador, or chancellor... or something! Even a secretary would be fine to start.”
Luna laughed in surprise. “I find it hard to picture you working behind a desk Nightshade.”
“I never really thought it would come to this myself.”
Luna’s smile vanished. “Have you been injured in your duties?” she demanded.
“N-no! I would never hide that from you Princess. Physically I’m fine, it’s just...”
“Then why?” Luna demanded. “Why would you ask me for a career change after you’ve accomplished so much, barely in the prime of your life I might add?”
“Someone needs to show them... how good you are.”
“What did you just say?”
“Yesterday morning in the market... I heard somepony call you... Nightmare Moon.” To Luna’s horror she saw Nightshade’s eyes grow wet. She couldn’t recall ever seeing such emotion from her before.
“There’s a hundred ponies under your command that can lead night ops and drop packages!” cried Nightshade. “I’d rather do something, anything, to let ponies love you like you deserve. Everypony should love you like I love you.”
“You never beat me in that race.”
“What?”
“Isn’t that your dream? You told me you’d never stop training until you were a faster flier than I.”
“I was just a filly, Princess. There are more important things now.”
“Nightshade,” said Luna as her wings spread out. “If you give up your fillyhood dreams, you run the risk of becoming an adult.”
“Princess, please...” said Nightshade, shifting her hooves anxiously.
“TO GREENTOP HILL!” cried Luna as she took off, and Nightshade followed just as Luna knew she would.
To Luna’s delight, the race ended closer than it ever had. When she came tumbling onto the grassy hill, Nightshade fell to the ground behind her in less than a second, both mares panting and collapsed.
“Looks like you’ve got to work at it a few months yet,” said Luna in between gasps.
“I still haven’t changed my mind,” said Nightshade when she could speak.
“What about the colt you rescued in the Everfree? You pushed yourself and found him in a mere five hours. You told me how his tears stained your coat as you placed him in his parents forearms.”
“Anypony can train to be fast.”
Luna stood, feeling the blood from her rapidly beating heart rush to her ears. “What about Nightshade, whose skill, courage, and compassion has never failed to astound me? I don’t want anypony. I want her.”
Nightshade had no reply.
“Don’t take me for a fool, my dear Nightshade. I’m neither blind nor deaf. I have been dealing with fear and mistrust long before you were even born. Do you know how I bear it?” Luna pointed up at the sparkling night sky.
“Look at that void, Nightshade. So vast and endless, how could anypony hope to find a single star? It’s easy. They leap to attention. So it is with ponies as well. The more lies and slander I must bear, the easier it is to find those ponies who shine. If you want to protect me, Nightshade, then you only need to do as you’ve always done. I will never want for a crowd of admirers if I have but a single pony of worth.”
“You do me more honor than I deserve,” said Nightshade as Luna pulled her to her feet. “Very well. If your Shadowbolt Captain is so dear to you, then you have her.”
Barely able to take in breath, Luna extended her wings again. “Ready to try again? This time we won’t stop until we reach the horizon!”
*****
Celestia approached from behind. Luna hadn’t even realized she had landed, too focused on reminiscing. She did feel a certain satisfaction in seeing she had won by at least twenty seconds.
Should I encourage her to train back to shape? She probably doesn’t even care anymore.
Her sister circled around her and examined her face. “There’s a spot of dirt on your cheek,” she noted.
“I’ll bathe later,” said Luna impatiently. “You’re the only one that can spot it anyway.”
“It will just take a second,” said Celestia, licking her hoof and then closing in. “You only get one chance to make a first impression.”
Luna struggled, but underestimated her sister’s persistence, and in a moment the wet hoof dragged across her face.
“Was that so hard?” said Celestia with a half-grin.
Luna scowled. “What’s the plan now?”
“We’re going to have you re-coronated. My staff will be there to witness and the cabinet will vote to reinstate the old diarchy laws. I’ve already had the version I want to use drafted. I didn’t know if you wanted a big ceremony so...”
“It’s fine, I don’t. Were you expecting things to turn out this way?”
Celestia began to smile. “I had certainly hoped that they would.”
Luna began trotting through the sloped fields surrounding Canterlot, and Celestia followed. “You can’t possibly expect them to agree to vote me in.”
“I”m confident that they can be persuaded,” said Celestia.
Manipulated you mean, thought Luna. And you’re not even wasting a moment bringing me back into the web. Equestria hadn’t changed much after all. The thought tired her more than the race.
“So that’s it then?” Luna asked after a pause. “Even after all that I’ve done, you’re going to let me rule unconditionally?”
“Perhaps a six-month probationary period while you get settled?” said Celestia mildly.
An offer, not a demand. Luna wanted to refuse out of spite.
“Fine,” she said instead.
They took flight again when they were able, heading toward the castle. Luna took in the cities stone arches and looping bridges, styled after the structures of old. Perhaps Celestia preferred the architecture of those days as well. She thought she might take some comfort from that, but she couldn’t. The race had brought a spring back to her body, but it hadn’t worked its usual magic on her mind, leaving her as tired, irritable, and hurt as she had been when the Elements had first released her from their grip.
Luna felt certain that she had forgotten about something terribly important. And even though she knew it would be expected, she couldn’t smile anymore.
When they landed on a balcony leading into Celestia’s office, their entrance drew immediate attention. They had only just gotten through the door before they were swarmed with servants, dignitaries, aides, and officials, all pestering Celestia with questions, concerns, and offers of service. A few comments were directed at Luna as well, but she couldn’t distinguish them over the din of voices, and so she ignored them. She yearned for some privacy. A moment would suffice to collect herself and take in the span of a thousand years, and maybe even remember whatever happened to her old student Nightshade.
She would not be granted that. Celestia led her into the throne room and dismissed all but a few of the hanger-ons.
“This is Steady Hoof, our Prime Minister,” said Celestia, nodding to a dark grey earth pony bowing before them. “I’m sure you’ll find her invaluable during the transitionary period, and beyond as you rule Equestria. I know I have.”
Luna’s snout wrinkled as she stared down at the official. “What’s a Prime Minister?” she asked.
“Well you see,” said Steady Hoof as she arose. “My job is to take care of—”
“I don’t care,” said Luna, turning from the mare and approaching the throne. “Let’s get this over with, I have other things on my mind.”
Celestia and Steady Hoof exchanged looks. A debate seemed to cross her sister’s eyes briefly, and then she approached the throne as well.
“As you wish, Luna,” she said, turning to address the scattering of assembled ponies. “Members of the Cabinet, I’d like to introduce you to my sister, Princess Luna of the Night. I suppose your own introductions can wait until she’s feeling more sociable. This emergency meeting will address only one issue, that of her reinstatement on the throne. My arguments in favor have been sent to your desks, and I’d like us to reconvene in twenty four hours for a final vote. This meeting is for initial questions and concerns directed to either of us.”
For a moment, none spoke. The entire Cabinet stared at Luna. Then a hoof belonging to a skinny stallion with glasses slid forward.
“Yes, Secretary Note?”
“Princess, while we’ve had time to read your arguments already, we’ve also been briefed on a rather disturbing incident originating from the town of Ponyville. Can we... am I to...”
“Let me head you off Cipher. It is true, my sister was responsible. Ultimately however, no one came to harm and I’d like the whole ordeal forgotten as soon as possible. And before anyone makes the suggestion, I will not approve of any punishment for Luna’s actions. I hardly need to remind anypony that the power of pardon still lies with me. Luna needs our support right now, not further humiliation.”
A wide and straight faced pegasus pushed his foot forward. Celestia nodded silently.
“Do we really need another Princess?” he asked simply.
Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “Secretary Heart, I don’t think I like your tone. Your question is a false one of course, a Princess is not appointed because of an underlying need, it is a title awarded by—”
"May I field this question, sister?”
Celestia blinked and her eyes softened. “Of course you may.”
Luna said nothing, simply stalking over to the pegasus. She made sure to keep her eyes on him so she couldn’t see the look of warning that she knew with a certainty Celestia would be trying to give her.
When she was nearly nose to nose with the stallion, she lowered her head to meet his eyes, and smiled. He took a step back and wouldn’t meet her stare.
“Honestly, you don’t,” was all she had to say.
Without another word, she returned to stand before the throne, trying not to look too smug about her sister’s disapproval.
“Perhaps we should adjourn until tomorrow then?” suggested Steady Hoof into the silence.
“Actually,” said the pegasus stallion, recovering his tongue from his confrontation with Luna. “I suggest we vote now.” There were ayes all around.
“Very well,” said Celestia, words dragging through a loud sigh. “As you consider your votes, please remember the honor Princess Luna is due, even if none of you were alive to see her great accomplishments. I speak of course of great deeds such as the banishment of the Star Beasts into the everfree, her valiant assistance in the battles against Discord and King Sombra, the defeat of the shadow hordes—”
“The seduction of the tide nymph!” squeaked a female voice. Luna jerked her head to see who had spoken, and saw one of the Cabinet members, a rather attractive unicorn, winking at her.
“I don’t believe I included that in the briefing!” said Celestia, flushing, “But yes, I suppose that did turn out for the best. Is the Cabinet prepared to cast their votes?”
“We are!” the eight ponies said in unison.
“All those in favor of Princess Luna’s reinstatement as Princess of Equestria, say aye!” called Steady Hoof.
There were four ayes, the unicorn mare being one of them.
“All those opposed?”
“Nay,” said the pegasus Luna had confronted, into silence.
These were not the puppets Luna had assumed them to be. She realized with no small amount of fascination that her behavior might cost her a seat on the throne.
“I count four ayes, one nay, and three abstaining,” said Steady Hoof. “A majority is required to proceed, and thus it falls upon me to break the tie with my own vote.”
Celestia watched her patiently.
“I will also abstain,” said Steady Hoof. “Final vote is passed to Princess Celestia.”
“I say aye,” said Celestia immediately. “The laws will be edited to accommodate her, and Luna will be a Princess of Equestria. She will gain the power of veto and pardon after a six-month probationary period. Any words, Princess Luna?”
“I’m going for a walk,” said Luna, turning her back on the Council and Minister.
“The gardens are this way,” said Celestia, nodding out of the room. “I’ll go with you.”
Still no admonishment. Something seemed off.
What does she want with me in the gardens?
*****
Nightmare Moon stalked through the palace garden underneath the eternal night, shadowed by Nightshade.
“It’s true then,” said Nightshade quietly. “You’re not going to lower the moon.”
“This has been a long time coming,” said Nightmare Moon. “My entire life, lived in a shadow. Never seizing my due. But no more. I’m a pony, not a dog, and I want you with me when I claim my full glory.”
Nightshade said nothing for a while. Luna could see the hesitation in her eyes.
“What would you have of me?” she finally said.
“I have five-thousand ponies loyal to my cause. We’re going to attack immediately.” She gave a scroll to Nightshade. “I have a task for the Shadowbolts as well.”
Nightshade stared at the scroll, lips trembling. “This is a hit list.”
“I need my sister’s command structure crippled. A purging of those ponies who will find no place in the new world.”
Nightshade threw the scroll to the ground. “What could be worth this?!”
Nightmare Moon’s lips tightened. “Eternal night, of course. I won’t need to waste my eternal life being outshined by my sister. Every action compared to her. Forced to play her games, with nothing but the ice of midnight to embrace me. Everyone will look up at the sky and love only me.”
Nightshade stared at her. “It doesn’t seem that long ago, that you were telling me you only needed one pony to understand you.”
“That’s not enough anymore.”
Nightshade cast her weary eyes to the ground. Mist blew from her mouth as she sighed. “Princess, my son really enjoys the daylight. I think he’ll want it back.”
“What are you saying Nightshade?! Don’t you want to see me win?”
“Is that what it’s about? Winning?! All my life you’ve had me putting my power to work for all of ponykind, and you’ve done the same yourself! Is getting back at your sister more important than that?! What changed?”
Nightmare Moon glared down at Nightshade. “Philanthropy has given me no joy. It’s time for me to work for myself.” She stalked over to her captain and tore the badge from her cloak. “If you can’t share my vision, I’ll find a pony who can.”
“It doesn’t matter,” said Nightshade, glaring through the obvious hurt in her eye.
“Evidently not,” said Nightmare Moon, and turned to leave.
“It’s just a badge. I don’t need it to stop you.”
Nightmare Moon stopped walking and spun around in a fury. “What did you say?!”
“You’ve always commanded me to oppose ponies who would harm others. Made sense then. Makes sense now.” On the ground, Nightshade charged.
Nightmare Moon could practically feel the veins in her neck bulging as she evaded and took to the air. Nightshade glared up at her, too wise to attack into Nightmare Moon’s height advantage.
“You... I have never seen such impudence! Such bald ego! Do you think I’ll give you any special treatment in spite of your treason? I won’t! You will suffer the same fate as everypony who opposes me!”
She charged her horn and hit Nightshade with a spell. Nightshade’s gaze fell to her feet, which were already hardening to stone.
She stared up at Nightmare Moon, her rage beginning to leave her. “You’re better than this. I know you are.”
Then the spell was complete and Nightshade had nothing left to say.
I was too hard on her, thought Nightmare Moon as she left to do battle with her sister. She will be no threat now that she has seen the extent of my power. When I’m finished with this business, when I rule Equestria alone, I will lift the curse and allow her to live in exile with her family.
*****
Luna’s eyes flew open, her faltering heart burning against her chest. She spun to Celestia.
“Celestia. What happened to Nightshade?”
Celestia looked at her but said nothing.
“I had a student before I was banished!” shouted Luna, thinking her sister needed more clarity. “A pegasus named Nightshade! She captained my Shadowbolts! WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?!”
Celestia turned away and began leading her onto a side path. “I thought you would have asked about her sooner,” she commented as she trotted along.
“I... my banishment has affected my mind. My memory is clouded. Why won’t you answer me?!”
Celestia stopped before a clearing, looking ahead. Luna pushed past her to see.
At the end of the path was a statue of a pegasus. Staring defiantly at the sky. Soulless eyes filled with defiance and compassion.
“Nothing happened to her. She stands where you left her, Luna.”
Luna lost the strength to stand, her legs folding beneath her.
“How... how could you...” she heard herself say.
“Luna?”
Luna leapt to her feet in a fury, focusing on Celestia through the red blurring her vision. “Was it just to punish me?! Could you not think of any USE for her?! Why did you leave her like that all this time?! WHY DIDN’T YOU FIX HER?!
She could see a shimmer in Celestia’s eyes. “You think I didn’t try?!” Celestia yelled, glaring down at her. “For decades I cast every spell I knew, brought in unicorns from all over Equestria. Nothing worked Luna. Your magic was too powerful!”
Luna looked to the ground, her throat burning.
“I never stopped trying,” said Celestia, lowering her voice and softening it an octave. “I suppose it seemed like less of a priority after every pony she knew and loved had died of old age but... I never stopped trying. I knew you wouldn’t want me to.”
“Then I am to blame,” Luna whimpered, sinking down again. “I’ve wounded my beautiful Nightshade and she cannot be repaired. There can be no forgiveness.”
She cringed as she felt Celestia’s hoof gently caressing her back. “Don’t say such things, Luna. The path to mending yourself and Nightshade is before you. It was your magic that did the deed. Surely you can reverse the curse.”
“Yes,” said Luna quietly.
“Then fix her. Don’t let her suffer any more. You can atone for your misdeed and find a way to move beyond it.”
When Luna laughed her voice cracked and shattered on the cobble beneath her. “You think it’s that simple, dear sister? You’d have me bring my student into a world where she knows neither the customs nor the ponies?”
“She will need to adjust, but—”
“A thousand years apart from everything she loved and held dear! You’d cast her into a sea where she could do nothing but drown.”
“Oh, Luna...”
Luna bolted up, glaring at her sister. “I won’t do that to her. Nothing could be crueler than forcing her through that, do you hear me?! Nightshade is where she belongs!”
She lowered her voice, deliberately jerking her head away from her sibling. “I must return to where I belong as well.”
She didn’t listen to Celestia’s next words. Her great wings sent wind screaming against the leaves of the garden as she took off, hurtling through the sky, blindly clearing the expansive cloudscape. Soon she tasted the thin, sweet air of the atmosphere, and when that too was gone, she found herself back in the cool, dark, night.
On the other side of Equestria, the sun was nowhere to be found and the glowing moon welcomed her like a beacon. She landed on it and thought to cry, but when she tried she found herself too weary.
The moon had changed little for a thousand years, and she had been present to track those changes that had occurred. She would have plenty of grass to eat, as well as the bizarre fruit that grew in the moon-orchards, the taste of which she had long since acquired. The animals of the moon could keep her company, if she desired. She had little understanding of them, but their expectations of her were few and simple.
Everything was simple on the moon.
It would not be a lazy existence either. The Horrors that Hid from the Sun would return eventually, creatures both formless and vast, unthinking yet cruel, monsters that her sister could neither perceive nor affect. The task of defeating them would always belong to her. She had beat them back even in the persona of Nightmare Moon, if only to prevent them from devouring the land she wished to rule. Now she had little motive to stop them for the sake of people she would never see again. However, she had no reason to cease her toil either, and the break in monotony and the chance to fulfill a task that she was uniquely suited to would suffice to keep her interested.
When Celestia landed nearby, she had no idea how much time had passed.
“Go away,” she said, without turning to acknowledge the approaching footsteps.
“I’m sorry. I grew worried when I sensed you leaving Equestria.”
Luna said nothing, and her sister sat down beside her.
“You won’t be returning then?”
“I don’t have anything to return to.”
“May I keep you company?”
“I do not want company.”
“I can be your subject, here on the moon.” Celestia stepped into her vision, and Luna turned her gaze so she wouldn’t have to look at her.
“I do not want a subject.”
“Your sister then.”
“I DO NOT WANT A SISTER!” Luna spun to Celestia, who flinched as if struck.
“Can you not understand?! You’ve had a thousand years to make sure there’d be no place for me on Equestria, and you used your time well. You’ve made your throne, so leave me and go sit on it already! You already have what you want!”
Celestia cleared her throat. “Do you want to know...” she said shakily, “Why you couldn’t find me for our battle?”
“I suppose I was no longer worth your attention, when you had such able subordinates.”
Celestia laughed bitterly. “For a thousand years, I’ve drunk wine and tasted salt. I’ve seized victories and felt pain. I’ve seen ponykind make ten thousand of the most unbelievable discoveries, I’ve seen one-hundred thousand of the most astounding things, and all I could think is “I wonder what Luna would say if she were here?”
Luna bit her lip. “Oh.”
Celestia rose a brow wryly. “You were usually more verbose in my imagination.”
“I just thought—”
“That I desired to hurt you? That I did so unknowingly? Did you think I found some way to justify it in my mind? I have not. My regret has shattered me.”
Celestia looked right into her eyes as she spoke. “For a thousand years life has tasted of ash. I made the decision to imprison you not for myself, but for every other pony, and I know it was the right one. Even so, after all this time, I have often wondered: What if I made a decision for myself instead? What if I did what was right for me?”
She stepped closer, stopping right in front of Luna. “So I decided to give ponykind one last chance to stop you, and you one last chance to reconsider. But I would not oppose you myself. Not that night. Not ever again.”
Luna followed her sister’s gaze to Equestria in the distance as her sister sat by her side. “Do what you will, Luna, and I’ll support you. If you want to spend another thousand years on this rock, I won’t tell you that you can’t. If you want to claim everything that is mine and cast me in the shadows, you won’t hear me protest. If you want to plunge the world in eternal midnight, I won’t allow anypony to stop you. Just... please... let me have your company. That’s all I want anymore.”
Luna’s gaze jerked to her sister, who still watched the moon’s horizon. “Do you honestly mean that?”
“Yes.”
“You’d let me lower the sun right now, conquer our neighbors, and rule Equestria as a despot?”
“If it would please you...” Celestia looked about to say something else, but she lowered her gaze and spoke: “Go ahead.”
Luna never made a conscious decision. She could barely tell what had happened as her hoof flung up and struck Celestia across the cheek, cracking her bone hard.
“HOW DARE YOU?!” she screamed. “TOGETHER WE VOWED TO PROTECT OUR KINGDOM! WOULD YOU DISCARD THAT SACRED PROMISE LIKE SO MUCH TRASH?”
Celestia’s jaw dropped. Her hoof shakily rose to touch the spot on her cheek where a bruise already began to swell. “You... you hit me.”
Luna felt her own lips gaping. “Sister... I.. only meant...”
Luna never had time to explain what she meant. Faster than the eye could track, Celestia’s gold-gilded hoof smacked her hard in the face, making her feel for all the world like she had fallen from orbit and landed face-first back in the palace garden.
Celestia looked more surprised than Luna felt.
“You... you hit me!” stammered Luna.
“Oh... baby sister I’m so sorry I just—”
“DIE YOU BITCH!” screamed Luna as she leapt upon her sister, and the time for talking had gone.
Luna got in a few lightning-speed pounds across her sister’s shoulders and back while Celestia still stammered her apology. Then their eyes met, and Celestia’s were blazing — tiny infernos that burnt Luna’s nostrils. A titanic heave flung Luna halfway across the moon, tumbling and sliding until she left a groove in the soft rock deep enough to bury her.
She recovered immediately and took flight, to find that Celestia had followed her in the air. The older princess swooped down and grabbed her, and though pony bodies could not grasp so easily, Luna could not wriggle free. She had never been able to match Celestia’s strength, and had never met anything that could.
“Say Princess!” demanded Celestia as she squeezed Luna.
“Never!”
Still gripping Luna tightly, Celestia flew away from the moon, taking a route around Equestria where the sun’s power would aid her. Luna knew she would lose if she did not escalate.
She opened her eyes to the lines of magic running through the cosmos. She saw her sister burning brightly, and the dark and familiar nexus of the moon. She could sense the sun, not so familiar but with power for the taking nonetheless.
None of this would suit her purpose, so she expanded her senses into the cold recess of space. She didn’t need to look far.
Nearly a hundred meteors plummeted through the night, destined to pass the planet without notice from any but a few astronomers and Luna herself. She called to them and diverted their trajectory, sending them straight toward her sister.
“No!” cried Celestia, realizing what was happening. “No meteors!”
Luna struggled, but Celestia didn’t relent her grip even when threatened with being struck. “Don’t worry,” she said hoarsely. “They’ll be meteorites once they hit your fleshy thighs.”
Blazing, the rocks struck home, one after another. Celestia braced herself, but Luna could feel her grip weakening. Luna jerked her head up and smashed her skull against her sister’s jaw, and she was instantly released.
She spun to face her opponent and saw no sign that her blow had been felt.
Celestia instead shrieked and frantically rubbed at her hair, which the meteor dust had caked a sallow grey. “Luna! You got them in my hair!”
Luna responded by charging. Celestia evaded, flying high above her.
“This is insane,” she heard her sister saying. “Stop it Luna, it’s time to be grownups again.”
Luna spun to face her sister again. “Don’t patronize me, you domineering glory hound!”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “Well don’t talk back to me, you oversensitive shut-in!”
“Deva!”
“Loner!”
“Fat-ass!”
Celestia snorted and slowly scraped her hoof through the air. When she charged, Luna side-stepped and dragged her horn across Celestia’s side. It felt like pushing it against a mountain, and when she broke contact her head was pounding.
She assessed her sister. No blood on her. Expecting disappointment, she felt relief instead.
When Celestia’s horn began to glow, relief submitted to panic. She began charging her own magic, dismayed when she realized how little she had. Her initial imprisonment had drained her, and the Elements had been just as thorough the second time she felt their power. It would return in time, but her sister seemed disinclined to wait.
Two magic beams of light emerged from both their horns and struck each other, creating an explosion that would be seen from Equestria like a celestial firework. She felt and recognized her sister’s spell - an antimagic attack designed to drain what few reserves she had. Her own spell attacked the physical body to remove her sister’s advantage in strength. Unfortunately, the antimagic worked as a natural counter for such an entropy spell.
Luna held out for longer than she thought possible, but the battle had ended already. Her spell faltered in the face of her sister’s power, and then died out entirely. For one painful second she felt her essence being sapped, and then Celestia ceased her attack, seeing that Luna was no longer fighting back.
“Had enough?” asked Celestia crossly.
“Oh no,” said Luna panting. “I’d really like to continue until I beat you. It’s just that... you drained me.”
Celestia gasped.
“Sorry I called you all those names, and whatever happens... I don’t want you to blame yourself.”
As Luna’s limbs grew cold and unresponsive, she felt herself tilting back, and falling. Her wings wouldn’t beat, she couldn’t even form a thought to will them, and if she could, it wouldn’t have mattered.
Through the void she fell, not knowing her destination. If she were close enough to Equestria, she’d be caught in its pull to smash against the earth’s surface, and if not, she’d simply hurtle through space for an eternity.
She felt no fear, only dull anger. She had lived a long time and accomplished many things, and even a sudden and pointless death wouldn’t be enough to make her regret it. Even so, her heart burned at the thought of meeting her end as a result of a foolish temper tantrum. She had more discipline than that, more wisdom. What would Celestia tell their ponies when they asked what had happened to her?
Perhaps she would die with one regret. She hadn’t restored Nightshade, though the mare had surely deserved it. Would it be cruel to revive her after a thousand years of stasis? Utterly. But Nightshade had laughed at the impossible, and never knew discouragement. She could have faired better than Luna even with half the resources. If she could find a place in this new Equestria where Luna could not, then it wouldn’t be the first time she had outperformed her teacher.
And what of Celestia? Did she regret not mending her relationship with her sister? She decided that she didn’t really. Her current demise was all the proof she needed that their friendship couldn’t have been repaired, and so Luna’s death only meant that she didn’t need to go through the pain of trying and failing.
Will she even care?
Why would I even doubt that. She loves me so much... even if I was too bitter to acknowledge it.
Forearms wrapped around her body. They had been there a while, but with her eyes closed and muscles numb, she hadn’t noticed until now.
“Celestia?” Luna murmured as she turned her head. She could barely understand it, but couldn’t fathom who else it could be.
It was Celestia of course. Her mane burned with solar power, her muscles strained to hold on. Her wings beat furiously as she tried to change their trajectory to no avail. Her eyes burned with defiance, yet when Luna met them she saw only kindness in front of sorrow.
“It will be fine, Luna. I am sorry.”
“You will die too.”
“Then it will be in good company. I have a better plan though. Open your heart to me.”
Celestia touched her horn to Luna’s and the midnight goddess felt her power returning. Her limbs grew warm, and her heart began pumping faithfully above her ribs. Even as her own strength returned, she felt her sister’s grip on her weaken and then slide off.
Luna embraced Celestia before she could slip away to be lost forever, realizing why she had been entrusted to do what her sister couldn’t. The moon. She felt it resonating with her horn, right behind them. She could coax away its mysteries more easily than Celestia ever could.
“You’re trusting me with your life?” she asked into her sister’s ear.
“It never crossed my mind not to,” said Celestia.
Luna seized the moon’s gravity and reversed it briefly, causing it to pulse outward and send her and her sister in the opposite direction. She began moving her wings in a powerful reverse stroke, trying to slow them down as they plummeted back to Equestria.
They slammed into a mountain, cracking its peak as they bounced off and back into the sky. Falling down again, the two crashed back into the gardens of Canterlot castle, right into a puddle of mud.
Truth be told, Celestia’s hoof had hit harder.
They lay there like that, limbs tangled, breath uneven, too exhausted to stand.
“Are you alright?” asked Celestia eventually.
“I’ll be fine. I am sorry about the meteors. I know how you hate it when stardust gets in your hair.”
“Don’t worry. I am sorry I used a mid tier drain spell. I did not mean it to be that powerful, but I my anger got the better of me.”
“It’s my fault. Your posterior is fine, by the way. Your sensitivity about the subject is unwarranted.”
“I... I can hardly believe we fought. We’ve never fought.”
“Perhaps we should have. We might have been able to avoid the entire incident of Nightmare Moon.”
Luna heard her sister laughing, felt it vibrating against her own chest. She laughed too. She didn’t stop until she lifted her head to gaze upon her sister and realized Celestia was actually crying, and then so was she.
“Remember?” asked Luna with a quivering smile. “You’ve got to smile now. You can’t let anyone see your tears.”
“No!” cried Celestia, and cried harder, burying her snout into Luna’s shoulder.
“Celestia...”
“I was... such a fool to teach you that. I was so afraid of making a mistake, so desperate for their approval. But all I did was cripple your emotions, Luna. I made sure that when you needed help, you didn’t even know how to ask for it. I forced you down the path you took!”
"When we were at Ponyville... you smiled for hours."
"Of course I did! I was so happy to have you back!"
A distant part of Luna wondered if she should be angry. Despite all her half-hearted efforts, she found she couldn’t find it in her to care about ignorance over a thousand years old.
“So you admit you were wrong, huh?” teased Luna.
“So wrong,” said Celestia, sobbing quietly.
Luna kissed her sister’s tears away. “Well, as long as I get to lord it over you for all eternity, I suppose I can be content.”
“Just promise me you’ll do away with the habits I taught you. Wear your emotions on your coat if you wish, or if not find friends to confide in. Confide in me if you find me worthy.”
“That... makes a certain amount of sense,” said Luna tersely.
They might have remained in the mud all night if they hadn’t both sensed others entering the garden. Hurriedly they collected themselves and rose to their feet.
“Will you not reconsider your decision on Nightshade?” Celestia asked as they waited for the others to approach.
“I—of course I will. In truth I will need to wait until midnight to draw enough power. When I said otherwise—I did so to hurt you.”
Celestia stared. “You did.”
An apology seemed so inadequate. While Luna struggled to compose it, she heard a shriek and found her sister beset by maids.
“Princess Celestia!” admonished one of them. “Have you been playing in the mud?”
“That’s not very royal of you!” said a light-tan mare in a youthful high pitch.
“What can I say?” said Celestia with a sigh. “I knew you girls would want another chance to scrub me down.”
“How scandalous!” said the first maid, whom Luna judged to be the head, but her colleagues were all giggling, and her blush couldn’t be disguised.
“Well, there’s no helping it,” chirped another maid, levitating along a bucket of soap while she approached Celestia with a brush. “You know how mischievous our princess can be.”
“I don’t mind! Her wings are so beautiful! I could brush them all day!”
“Not as beautiful as that mane! Let’s get some more soap, we’re going to have to wash her down completely.”
As Luna left, she found her escape blocked by another regiment of the maid army.
“And just where do you think you’re going, Princess Luna?”
“Don’t think we can’t see the mud just because your coat is darker!”
“You really should try to set an example for your sister instead!”
“You’re getting the royal treatment too!”
Luna gaped. “You... you know me?!” She cleared her throat. “Of course, your Prime Minister would have passed the word along...”
“Well... that’s certainly true,” said a maid.
“But we’ve been hearing about you for nearly a year now!”
“Celestia wouldn’t stop talking about you! She said her sister was coming back!”
“She’d sing this song, and then tell us it was her sister’s favorite...”
“We didn’t know she had a sister! We thought she was playing a joke on us!”
“But here you are! You’re even more wonderful than she described!”
“Is it true that you’ll craft us a beautiful night? I’m going to let my kids stay up so they can see it!”
“To think that there will be another Princess!”
“We couldn't resist spreading the word, all of Canterlot is probably expecting you by now!”
“We should throw a holiday in your honor! In fact I’m sure we will!”
“Can I brush your mane? It’s gorgeous!”
Luna stared at that last pony in disbelief. When the attendant shrank back, Luna finally found her wits. “Of... of course. Go right ahead.”
The flock needed no more direct invitation. They fell on her, combing her sparkling mane to a silky consistency, scrubbing the mud off of her body with brush and soap, and even preening her wings.
Amidst the commotion, Luna caught Celestia’s eyes and asked a silent question.
Celestia looked down with a faint smile. “I’ve grown wiser,” she said. “I hope I’ll have the chance to share that with you.”
Luna also looked down. Had she grown wiser as well? She hadn’t, but at that moment something changed, and she decided she now desired wisdom.
“Leave us servants,” she commanded, and they picked up the soap buckets and departed in moments.
“It’s time to bring back Nightshade,” Luna explained as she made her way back through the gardens to where the statue awaited.
“Midnight is many hours away,” noted Celestia as she followed.
“I know.” She paused, turned to Celestia, and nuzzled her about the face and cheek. “But if I recall correctly, is there not magic in this world even greater than the power of darkness?”
Celestia blinked, stunned, and then tentatively pressed her face forward as well. When Luna moved to complete the walk, a spread of white feathers now draped across her back.
It didn’t take long to reach Nightshade. As she stared at those vacant eyes, those words from a night one thousand years ago came back to her once again.
She kissed the statue’s brow. “You were right,” she told it. “In every respect, you were so right. I am sorry.”
She returned to her sister, who waited a few paces away. “If you will let me draw on your power again today, I shall cast aside this curse.”
Celestia’s horn began to glow, feeding Luna its warm magic. She felt not only her sister’s strength, but the heavy weight of her affection, which settled on Luna’s shoulder but did not bring her down, instead lightening her tingling bones.
“Poor lost soul, encased in stone. Let your thoughts pour free, and build around them a body long gone. That your shadow might grace this beautiful world.”
A beam of pure black burst from Luna’s horn and struck the statue. “That your shadow might grace this beautiful world,” she incanted again.
The black energy touched Nightshade’s snout, spreading across her face. The stone peeled away to reveal pitch black fur. It reached her eyes, and they blinked once. As it seethed across her wings, they spasmed and then spread out, stretching to their full width.
Finally her legs became free of the curse. Nightshade took one step, and then stumbled, gasping for breath.
Luna moved to help, but Nightshade was already standing up straight, shoulders proudly tensed. She still possessed the body of an athlete, lean and perfect. Luna also noticed a few creases on her face, the odd grey strand within her mane. She wondered at these details, for in her madness one-thousand years ago, she hadn’t seen them.
Their eyes met. Nightshade looked at her as though she had been turned to stone yesterday. Luna felt mist entering her eyes.
“How long have I been out?” asked Nightshade.
Luna tried to say something but choked on her own words.
“One-thousand years,” Celestia answered. “I am sorry.”
Nightshade’s jaw began to lull. “My husband? My child?”
“They visited your statue every year,” Celestia said. “Perhaps you heard what they told you? Your husband did... remarry about five years later.”
“Damn that stallion,” whispered Nightshade. She seemed confused. “Can’t see why it even upsets me. I don’t even remember their names.”
“Th—they were—” began Luna.
“Stop. I don’t want to know, Princess Luna. I don’t think it matters anymore.”
“You must despise me,” said Luna, managing at last to force some strength into her tone. “What I did to you. What I cost you. It is unforgivable.”
Luna bore Nightshade’s stare until she felt another thousand years passing, and then the pegasus shrugged.
“Every night I would stare at the sky until dawn. And until the sun rose, I would pray again and again, for you to come to your senses. For your pain to go away.”
Nightshade turned and stared at the sky. “I can hardly feel bitter, can I? My prayers were answered.”
Then Nightshade spread her wings and took off. She sped away so fast that Luna feared that they would never meet again, and panic gripped her.
“WAIT!”
Nightshade turned with perfect grace and landed before her again.
“Nightshade,” hurried Luna, anxious to get her thoughts out before the pegasus left her once again. “It’s been a thousand years. We’re both stuck in a world we no longer recognize. I want to help you. Rather... I want us to help each other. Won’t you take your position by my side again?”
The reticence she saw in Nightshade’s eye made Luna wish she hadn’t spoken.
“Luna... Princess... I... no. I can’t, not after what—” Nightshade stopped and then began again. “I just need to fly, Princess, it’s been a while.”
Luna lowered her head and then nodded quickly. “Farewell Nightshade. I love you dearly.”
Luna felt the air rush against her face as Nightshade pushed back into the sky, making a smooth cut through the darkening blue. Luna rested her against Celestia’s shoulder and watched Nightshade’s form grow smaller, until it disappeared entirely.
After she was gone, Luna still couldn’t decide if she was flying toward the horizon, or away from her.
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I think my search is over. It's the next big thing!
If you want to find out who made the picture, just drag it into google search. It will probably be the first result.
I just tried to find the image, but the guy's DA account doesn't exist any more.
This is the best I can do for a source, but it is a link from when it was on EQD.
this story is so beautiful i think it's almost on the level of pen strokes!
This is a fantastic story. I laughed, I cried, I bawwed at the epic, celestial battle. If this does not become featured, fimfiction needs its rating system completely overhauled.
Well done.
Alright, imma read this story soon, but in the mean time, here's how to find the image in 5 easy steps
(they will probably load slowly, as they're loading straight off my network, which has only 1 megabit upload bandwidth (MFW: non-business-class internet)... but anyway, go here)
(don't bother opening these images up in fimfiction, just right click and open in new tab)
charleselentz.com/fimfictionthing/HowToImageSearch/001.png
charleselentz.com/fimfictionthing/HowToImageSearch/002.png
charleselentz.com/fimfictionthing/HowToImageSearch/003.png
charleselentz.com/fimfictionthing/HowToImageSearch/004.png
charleselentz.com/fimfictionthing/HowToImageSearch/005.png
3256215
Unfortunately, the rating system is dominated by clop.
Still, it got featured! Imma read this, and probably enjoy it from the looks of it! All aboard the hype train!
3256131 His DA is active its just a lot of his older work isn't on the page. http://clasherz.deviantart.com/ is the url. He still lives, changes his name a lot too which is probably why it appears deactivated.
3256557
Why didn't I recognise the style. I've seen that guy so often. Anyway, yeah that's him. It just showed it as not existing when I clicked the EQD source link.
3256563 You can't find a lot of his old stuff through his pages, both tumblr and DA. Fortunatly I did find one place his old work still exists on. https://e621.net/post/index/1/crenair.
3256826
Thank you everyone who pointed this out. I've contacted him.
well thank you for writing this fucking amazing fic you prick.
now im misty eyed and late for work.
try explaining that shit to a maintenance department.
hey gonzo. why is your scarred tattooed overmuscled ass crying.
oh just read a great luna fic.
a what?
my little pony luna is best.
fag.
fucking lovely you asshole.
upvoted faved and fuck you.
3257232
YOU FUNNY I LIKE THIS GUY.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
This was beautiful.
It still remains the case that I could forgive Luna for anything.
by the way dear author please tell me more will come from nightshade. it is a far too compelling charecter and premise to leave off here. no really, if you don't id love to.
p.s. the only reason i do not have anything up on this sight yet is the 15000 plus words ive had edited and ready to go between two storys haven't a good starting point in my eyes.
my pre readers and editors understandably want my head on a pike over that.
3258407
Well, it's possible.
*like button*
a few minor edits and you're going to be on EQD
im not sure why i dont like this fic, it was on the first page all that about moody luna was like off.. it didnt fit character somehow
3257232 tsun tsun
. Dere dere
.
3257232
You could say this story is...
Not Safe For Work?
Nice job on the story though!
3259089 Incredibly well done. And I too would like to see more of Nightshade.
Thank you for posting this, definitely a fun read.
Nightshade almost seems ready for a fic of his own. I like how you left it open like that.
31.media.tumblr.com/2e1aa1353828778bf617ee0220101454/tumblr_mfzm9kEILp1r1ey4oo1_500.gif
I cried.
I can't say I enjoyed this much. All of it seems like nonsense, starting from Luna firing her guards, to the over the top shouting, and even the battle. And I didn't give a damn about Nightshade. An orphan who steals a princesses crown? That Luna immediately takes on as her student? C'mon...
I think you tried to pack too much stuff into a 10k short story. You need time to develop characters and make the events plausible.
Also, I think your falling much too far into melodrama here. Very strong emotions are often better downplayed than just having them shout and yell and whatnot.
Excellent story. A pleasure to read.
I really like your stories, PrettyMonster. Between Clop It! and Unforgivable, I've noticed it seems your writing style... has a very cinematic feeling to it. I've enjoyed reading both stories thoroughly. (though Clop It! is still my favorite as there was more comedy, and it ended on a positive note) I've also noticed you seem to have a bit of a talent in working with flashbacks in your stories. You've done a really excellent job on both works, and I can't wait to read the next thing you write.
3267064
Thank you. I love hearing from fans.
Is there any plan to continue this?
3300561
This story is complete, I think I found an acceptable way to end it. I don't have plans to write anything in the same universe yet.
3301611
I know, but I guess I want it to continue because so few authors I feel can adequately
give Luna the bitterness and guilt that she feels. A perfect example of this is when Celestia holds a vote to get Luna back her throne. Luna thinks this is a trick since the ponies are under her sisters control, but when the vote is actually held one objects. Making her realize that the ponies are not under her sisters' absolute authority. This leads to guilt for the spurn she gave to the Prime Minister.
When season 4 arrives I feel we will finally know some of the more intimate motivations and interactions between the two sisters, and the actions that led to Lunas down fall.
I feel if Luna was just more honest in telling ponies around her how she felt the whole "Nightmare Moon" thing could've been avoided.
That was always the failure of the canon, in a way - Luna and Celestia are never seen as confronting the consequences of their acts that day a thousand years before. Well, Luna, perhaps, but only in the smallest ways (over the legend of Nightmare Moon).
What this story does and does well as it shows that there are certain punishments that both of the Celestial Sisters will bear forever. Friends lost, trust lost, indeed a whole world lost and never to be regained.
It was an interesting canon to start, but the suddenness of the fight and the way the kept alternating between treating it as a reprehensible act and treating it as a joke thoroughly spoiled the atmosphere. The ending felt very rushed, without any real resolution between her and Nightshade. Instead of talking things out after freeing her from the stone, Nightshade just decides to leave without any closure and Luna lets her. She accounts for half the reason Luna has to live, and Luna just lets her leave?.
The story lacks continuity overall. You jump between scenes entirely too quickly because your characters have mood swings at the drop of a hat. We need more thought process, more dialogue, and more exposition on Luna's relationship/resolution with Nightshade in order to make this story complete. It serves as the entire pivoting point of Luna's 1000 years of development and internal conflict, but she's denied it seemingly without reason.
As I said this story has an interesting concept, but it suffers from being rushed. I hope you'll consider going back and remastering it at some point.
3319823
Well I suspect you're probably right on most counts, thank you for the feedback and I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it very much.
I disagree about the ending though, I want to leave it settled the way it is and let the readers draw their own conclusions about what might happen in the future. You say the story is rushed, but how much more rushed would it feel if I just settled everything there despite the characters not being emotionally ready for it?
Amazing. Is there any chance for a sequel?
3427713
There's always a chance but I'm not working on one at the time. Right now I'm more concerned about editing this so I can re-submit it to ED.
3428523 Well if it doesn't get picked up don't get discouraged EQD is a joke. Good luck.