Dusty Pages is a less than average looking pony with a nervous disposition. Though she is the Royal Library's head librarian, she still has not gotten her cutie mark, despite the fact that she is pretty good with books. She is desperate for finding her true calling. Because of this, Celestia decides to request the help of Twilight Sparkle to help her along with her struggle, and Dusty is forced to live in Ponyville for a time. Adventures and Character Growth ensue!
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This looks interesting! I will have to read it later.
I like this already!
I'm just a sucker for this kind of story, I suppose.
I can't wait to see her reaction to pinkie!
What 273076 said.
"Less than average" my flank! The tiny, nerdy ones are awesome. Good so far, and looking forward to the next chapters.
Hmm ill be keeping track of this ^^ good work
O, wow, so far so good. I am looking forward to tracking this lovely story.
273157 O dear, that is a disaster waiting to happen. Although I wounder if there is a Pinkie sense for a new pony coming into Ponyville?
In this line, ""Twilight is my best student, one pony asking her a few things and aquainting her certainly won't throw
her off. My order is final, dear Dusty."", the grammar seems incorrect. Rather than being:
"... and aquainting her certainly..."
it should probably be
"... and getting acquainted with her certainly..."
for the sake of grammatical correctness. The problem is that in the current state "acquainting" is something being done to "her", and acquainting
isn't really something you do to someone, it is generally something done with someone. Also, she's not an inanimate object or a animal with little intelligence, so maybe there is a better way to say what you're trying to convey.
273700
Thanks for the crit, my good man, but be gentle, I 've never written a story in my life until now, hehe. Is there anything you like about it? The POV is a little messy but I do like a little bit of positive with the negative, if you catch my drift!
273609
OH WOW WHO TOLD YOU DJDKF
I have until chapter 4 written and it does involve a pinkie sense for new ponies! At least I know thst's in-character!
And thank you so much, everypony! This is my first story ever, so I appreciate all the support! :um )
273775 Who told me? Well Pinkie Pie did. Ever since I saw the first mlp fim episode, I have this Pinkie Pie living in my head. She tells me crazy funny jokes and some crazier stories.
Just a few awkward grammatical smudgies throughout, but a really interesting story anyway! I think I have become a tracker.
I do recommend reading over each thing you write aloud to yourself, make sure it doesn't sound odd or have difficulty coming off your tongue. Works!
273953
X);; Actually I read it over out loud twice and had one of my fellow ponies read it over for me! I do tend to speak a bit strangely, though. Thank you so much for the input!
273812
Hehehe, silly Pinkie :D
273969 It really is just a few things, which I had to read twice because I was all like
? This really is a great story, and I can't wait to see where it goes. X3 I tend to get scolded a bit when I write by my teacher sometimes because I read (or used to read, when I had time) mostly books by people like Charles Dickens and I wrote both my body and dialogue like an 19th century (or whenever) Englishman. 
You should take all those line breaks out.
I'd suggest simplifying this
"...I have a friend I would like you to make friends with. She..."
to
"...I have a friend I would like you to meet. She...".
or maybe even
"...I have a pony who could use a friend. She...".
The current statement feels just a little overwritten.
273771
Well, it's a story about an original pony that isn't HiE or obvious self-insert. It's also about another pony with a blank flank, which allows for some suspense as to what will happen. Kinda curious to see what will happen. I'm not too good with positive stuff, I'm afraid. I'm reading it though. :)
The writing is pretty good minus the grammatical errors, it's not like it's a huge deal, but it's less visually noticeable in some ways than spelling errors, and so i kind of feel like I should say something since it kind of muddles the flow of the story a but. Sorry if I sound overly critical, but it's a bit unclear how old she is and how long she's been working in the royal library. In the story description she's called the best librarian, whereas in the story she is the head librarian. In either case, how could she not know Twilight fairly well, if not personally? Granted that you don't say how long Twilight has been gone from Canterlot at this point, it either indicates that a lot of time has passed (during which she became a royal librarian and has been working there), which would make her either a lot younger than Twilight/possibly older than Twilight, she's only been working for a little while (she's fairly young still) which would make her younger than Twilight, or somehow she managed not to come into contact with Twilight at all, which seems unlikely. Sorry if that's a bit jumbled.
Some minor spelling errors to consider:
"I am giving her a bit of leave as her state of mine is really causing serious problems for her. "
state of mind is really, yes?
""...The new pony is one of Celetstia's subjects who needs some time off. Celestia is testing us of our knowledge about making friends!""
Celestia's
us on our
274905
Oh buck, I am usually pretty good with killing plot holes in my mind-stories. I'll try my hardest to iron out any inconsistencies in subsequent chapters through dialogue and exposition. :) I have some things in mind, including a rather long chat between Twilight and Dusty that will most likely fix what might be confusing some ponies.
Furthermore I am kind of a... well, word-vomitter, I do read and rewrite my stuff a couple times, but even if I go through everything with a fine-toothed comb, things that sound ridiculous to others end up sounding totally okay in my head. I'm glad you're genuinely interested, but could you not point out every single mistake you see?
I am just doing this all for fun and I'm looking for a little light feedback. I'm not trying to use this in an English paper or anything. I simply had an idea and decided to share.
HOWEVER, if you REALLY, REALLY feel the primal urge to correct, go right ahead and help me out--- But for Celestia's sake, if you want to be my editor, private mail me all my mistakes and buckups. I don't need all these corrections in three different comments on my page.
Thank you for all the help, though. I honestly do appreciate all the effort and I really can't fathom why anyone would want to read my stuff that closely.
274810
I like the lines. They separate scenes for me if chapters are too short. They'll especially be implemented more when perspectives have to change within chapters.
Eh great chapter keep it up /)
275437
No, a line break is when the text goes to a new line -- what happens when you hit enter in your text editor. I mean that you hit enter whenever the cursor reaches the right edge rather than going on typing. You might not see it if your resolution or font size is different from mine, but if you look at a chapter and increase your font size (CTRL-+ in Firefox), you'll see what I see:
"Princess...." I muttered, as I stumbled into her massive, extravagant throne room. It was
large and
intimidating, and made me feel positively miniscule.
"Yes, Dusty Pages! Hello! Tell me what's new, before we get down to business." She smiled at
me with an
aura of calm and affection. She did always know how to calm my nerves. Sort of.
"I still haven't... you know... I just want your opinion, on how to--..." I trailed off. I hated
saying
it out loud. I didn't have a cutie mark, and...