Lyra opens a portal to a human world. Then she choses to rule over it.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 13th May, 2013
- offline last seen May 3rd, 2021
Yoshi1990
Just a guy who loves the Nintendo character, Yoshi. (and ponies)
Yoshi1990
Joined 13th May, 2013 ·
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I love the name for the fic... unfortunately not so much the story
Probably needs a Dark tag, and some minor grammatical errors exist, but I enjoyed this. Your Lyra walked the line of being cruel and being sadistic. Nice use of tone. You should write more.
...Perchance, are you familiar with the term "Villain Sue"? If not, you should definitely look into it, since your Lyra is definitely a Villain Sue. Now, this wouldn't be much of a problem if the story was intended to be a parody of some kind, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. Not only was Villain Protagonist Lyra depicted as being completely overpowered to the point that only deus ex machina could defeat her (and you seem to have conveniently forgotten that we have vastly bigger and better options in terms of ordnance than police-issue firearms, as I seriously doubt that even Twilight Sparkle or Shining Armor could effortlessly defend against attacks like GBU-27 Paveway III 2000-lb building-leveling bunker-busting laser-guided bombs without feeling strained), all the humans were handed Idiot Balls, then kneed in the groin for good measure.
In all, she was not a very interesting villain, to be honest.
Great name agreed.
Cute
3254496
The thought of a dark tag never crossed my mind. I have a different view when thinking of a dark story.
Care to send me a PM with the grammatical errors? I'll never find them myself. I'm not too good when it comes to grammar.
I do write more. This is my 3rd story. This was just a quick side project story.
My 1st story is a complete mess and needs a lot of editing and probably wont see the light of day for years.
My 2nd story is being written right now and is in need of proofreaders.(That's where most of my effort is going.)
3254525
I totally understand what your saying but this was just a quick side project.
I did not put to much effort into it.
3254650
Well, let me ask you this, then:
"Are you proud of this story?"
Or rather:
"Do you feel that this story represents you as an author?"
I love that Ace Combat reference in there.
3254908
I will say yes to both of those. I think this story is a great stepping stone in my abilities as a writer. Its not perfect but it is far better than my first story. At one point this story did represent the best of my skills but now it does not. I will admit at this point in time this story is a step down from my second story. That's because I have learned more since I wrote this story and that knowledge has been applied to my second story.
I know I wont get lots of followers and favorites from this story but I felt that this story was good enough to be on the website.
3255090
If that's the case, I can't rightly complain.
Wow. To think that Lyra broke cause of Bon Bon being dead. Nice fic by the way
Really? Interesting story and all but I am really sure that Lyra does not have the power to change planets. Unicorns are in no way powerful enough to do that. Also i would just like to say f-ck the nations that surrendered right away. Who the heck would surrender to a unicorn? From what I see if everyone wouldn't have surrendered we could have easily stopped her. She might have some magic but I would love to see her defeat like 7 billion people with weapons. Anyways nice story
Choses.
3254525
Oh good lord, reading about the Paveway gave me a wargasm.
3262687
There's enough firepower in a single one of those 2000-pound warheads to essentially reduce the average 20+ story tall high-rise building (e.g. an apartment complex) to rubble from the explosion alone (not due to the building collapsing upon itself)—that is, provided the warhead detonates within range of the optimal location. However, given that the Mark 84s are typically rated as "heavy general-purpose anti-infrastructure bombs", they can usually get to that location before detonating—even if it is inside the target. That's pretty impressive firepower, if you ask me. And if the Mark 84 can't get through to the target, there is always the BLU-109 "bunker-buster" hardened penetration bomb, which can be equipped with the same Paveway III guidance system as the Mark 84.
Basically, if the enemy thinks that hiding in a building makes for an effective shield against ordnance, they've got a very rude surprise in store for them. We have ways of reaching them in buildings... even if they're several floors underground.
3263299
*shudders in delight*
Initiate Minute man missiles launch and Cruise missiles.
MOAR LYRA HARTSREENGZ NAAAOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Give back Lyra you merciless Bastard
6431667 I doubt that'll ever happen
6437367 eh, fair enough.