A young Equestrian Guard recruit is ordered to attend - of all things - the retirement party of a complete stranger.
However, things at the party turn out to be not quite what he expected. As the night progresses, he learns some valuable lessons about himself and just what the duties of being a Guardspony in Her Eternal Princesses' Royal Guards entails.
(A slightly humorous yet slightly bittersweet look at the life and traditions of the Royal Guard)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I rather enjoyed this. Very well done, in my opinion. 'Bout time someone gave the Royal Guard personality, and I like the way you did it. *salutes*
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Thank you for your kind words.
I always thought the identical guards schtick was kind of interesting; but the more I thought about them - the more I realized that being the bodyguards for an effectively immortal and exceedingly powerful Princess must really be an odd job. Which would then mean the ponies doing it HAD to have personalities too.
And thus this story was born....
Sequel?
274123
I'm thinking about it.
I suppose this *could* be the considered the "prequel" for something a bit larger and somewhat more epic that I am in the planning stages on; but I really felt the story was complete enough to stand on its own as opposed to being just a "Chapter One".
(Especially since Starlight Dancer - the person with most of the dialog in this story - probably won't be much more than a footnote if/when I do the sequel.)
This was also my first FIM fanfiction, so I mostly wanted to get my feet wet with something smaller scaled before trying to start up anything much larger.
274163 Well for a first fic, it's amazing. I'll be watching you...
Anyway, good stuff, great characterization, and the whole concept of glamours in the armour is something that's been touched on a couple of times in the fics I've read. Nice backstory (if you will) behind it.
Faved.
This was pretty good. The concept of anonymity among the guards to keep Celestia from seeing them grow old was rather novel.
Really well done. Looking forward to anything else you might decide to cook up!
I like it! Can we expect a sequel of the sorts, telling about Summer Oak's life in Her Eternal Princesses' Royal Guard?
This is definitely a fine standalone, regardless of whether it gets a sequel. Liked, faved, 5'd over at eqd. Wonderful story.
I really liked this one. You can feel the guard's emotions, and their loyalty, frustration, but also their sense of honor.
(also, Celestia at the end. I liked it.)
Now this is a great story! I loved how the plot unfolded here. The stories shared by veterans to those just coming in are always grand tales. This was no exception. I was skeptical when i saw this up on EqD but read it anyway. Worth every second of the read. Reminds me of my RP days on WoW. They might have been stories but as a writer myself i tend to get too into character. Some of my stories even haunt my dreams to this day. Stories of Powerful Demons/Dragons/Undead tearing through my forces like a knife through butter. Watching allies who have fallen writhe up in undeath to fight again. They may just be stories but for someone who really gets into character or a writer themselves, imagination can go far. 10/10 from me. Defiantly a great read i would recommend to others.
An excellent bit of work. My only niggle is that you have a select few instances of repetition, where you've accidentally written part of a sentence twice. That, and there are a few spots where the dialogue flows a little clumsily where it isn't clear who is talking.
However! Besides those rather small complaints, this was an excellent read and a very touching tale. You paint a very beautiful picture, and I am glad I took the time to read this as it brightened my day a little.
Excellent work, and a thumbs-up from me :)
I definitely enjoyed this - and what a great explanation and development of those anonymous, stoic white ponies we see everywhere.
What good work! I cannot recall where I clicked this from but you know what...it does not matter.
Well funny you should mention that one other mission thingy hahaha...
A very nice read, hope to see more from you soon!
Very nice! Consider yourself watched. I eagerly await that theoretical sequel.
Ahh, I love guard pony stories. You never know what to expect from them. This one I found particularly interesting because it felt very crisp, clean, accurate to the tone of the show, or at least the hidden world there in the background. Well, maybe not completely honest: this was serious, honest, and thoughtful, where the show frequently sacrifices those qualities for other things. Still, this was quite a refreshing read, BuffaloBrony. Heartful, quality shorts like this are a bit of a sweet spot for me, and they slip by so easily on FIMF.
Also, good gracious what a quiet crowd. Almost a thousand views, and how many comments? Less than twenty. Bronies are a demure, softspoken bunch, clearly.
I do have a tiny bit of hopefully helpful criticism, but I'm not sure if you would be looking for any. (I've recently learned that -- online! -- it is polite to only offer criticism when it is so invited and encouraged. Learned... the hard way.
)
"...In reality, the moment anything out of the ordinary happens, they’ll utterly panic. They’ll scream, they’ll whimper, they’ll barricade themselves inside useless shelters, or they’ll curl into fetal positions right in the middle of the street.”
I read this story shortly before I saw "It's About Time," and that paragraph came back to me as Ponyville panicked at the presence of Cerberus. (And, really, the guard-dog of the dead featured in "My Little Pony"? So much awesome.)
I'm fairly new to FiM fanfic, so I'm trying to pick out the upper 10-15% with the help of Equestria Daily. This is certainly in the upper 15%, and I had to fight back the urge to salute the computer screen at points during SD's monologues.
Very well done. Some awkwardly structured sentences here and there, almost as if you were forcing it. It interrupted flow, but that's just nitpicking now isn't it? Tracked you have been, interested in a sequel I am.
I had this on watch for a bit and finally got around to reading it. I must say it was fantastic.
I really do hope you expound upon this Royal Guardpony idea, definitely going to watch you for future fics. 
Someones a fan of the Callahans series, aren't they, with that fireplace bit. ^_^ Much approval.
Love the story. Wonderfully done
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Oh, It's been years and years (possibly decades even) since I've read a Callahan's book. I did love 'em back in the day, though.
Actually - that specific scene was... umm... liberated from ... no... INSPIRED by... that's a better phrase. .. other sources.
More Kipling, "Sacrament of the Mess", and the traditional toast of "Absent Companions" went into that scene than the more informal affairs at Callahan's.
~~~~~
(And yes - I AM working on both a prequel and a sequel. )
The prequel is a seriously [grim] story that is not really necessary to understand everything after. I broke it free when I realized its tone was FAR, FAR darker than the rest of the overall story arc. (I will paraphrase it as one sentence: What exactly made Princess Celestia originally talk to Knight Captain Starlight Dancer about "that other mission we discussed", and what exactly is the mission?) There's room there for a story that I felt like writing - so I did...
And before anyone asks: Yes, the sequel is being written so that no one will HAVE to read the prequel to know what is going on in the sequel - for all those people who dislike [grim] in their MLP fanfics.
The first two chapters are at my editor and the second half is plotted and in process. (update: First chapter posted, other chapters completed and at my editor's.)
The sequel is shaping up to be closer in tone to the actual series and the more humorous aspects of Old Guardspony. Think trials and travails of a Guardspony's Life, first in "Royals" training and then later off on "the mission". A lot less maudlin and [grim] and a lot more "what mischance can we put poor Summer Oak through today?"
I shall now quote Hades. Two thumbs WAY way up! VERY good job on this, strikes right to the core of things.
Excellent emotional weight to this piece and well thought out original characters.
Why am I hearing the Whiffenpoofs song in the back of my head?
dl.dropbox.com/u/12875849/reactions/crying2.jpg
Absolutely fantastic (haha fan-tastic) Way to give the royal guards some real personaity... looking forward to what is coming.
I particularly liked the mental image of royal guardsponies acting out live chess games. (I betcha they cheated for the princess when the ambassador wasn't looking)
My thoughts, in order:
Where does a recruit, not even graduated yet, get scars like that? How harsh is training?
Clearly Summer has no idea who he's looking at, but are the more seasoned guards better informed? And does Tia do this for every retiring guard?
Sorry, Summer, but she probably doesn't really have time for dating. It's a demanding job, ruling, if you want to do a good job of it.
Also, I doubt she wants to spend an evening lying to you constantly so you don't realize you're having dinner a Princess. That tends to be an awkward revelation when it comes unexpectedly.
And then I got too distracted by the story to record my thoughts. But I do remember being reminded of a song lyric my roommate keeps quoting: "If only I had an enemy greater than my apathy, I could have won." To the immortal sun princess, there's a lot of time to become numb, and very few worthy foes.
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Thanks for reading and responding!
Obviously - most of your comments/questions were answered by the end. Summer Oak really had no clue initially - and was just responding as any single post adolescent straight guy does looking at a pretty serving girl. Most of the rest of the Guardsponies - knowing Celestia better - probably figured it out pretty quickly (hence her comment about lousy tips...).
"Does Celestia do this for every retiring Guardspony?"
Probably not - but this WAS her Knight Captain retiring, someone whom she was obviously rather fond of... Which, if you think about it, makes the whole "armor makes us anonymous" idea kind of moot. But then again - that is exactly the "good idea that doesn't really work in reality" kind of thing that happens all the time in real life...
Amassing, incredible. I have written two chapters about such a tavern. I am now in the middle of a chapter later in my OC’s life where he tries to take on a recruit.
Thank you for including the dreams and the need to talk to somepony.
Dusty Miller.
...wat?
Why do I have such a dirty mind?
Read this long ago, had it saved and I come back to read it from time to time. I served years in the military, and it hits a special chord comparing this to memorial day, or any time I see the special empty table in a veterans bar that is for POW MIA and KIA soldiers. "To those that stand, and those that fall" is a powerful toast and this story does it the proper justice it deserves.