It All Started With a Glass of Water

by Mr Afro Pony

"Why are you saying it like that?"

Twilight practically floated out of her bed, the intoxicating aroma of the morning waking her from the embrace of the bed. She rubbed her eyes and gave a loud yawn.

“Mmm...” she moaned, imagining the delectables being prepared just downstairs. She stretched her muscles and started out of her room and down the stairs. Sure enough, her number one assistant was preparing a fresh and hot breakfast for the unicorn.

Spike flipped a pancake with expert skill, carefully letting it fall back into the frying pan. “Mornin’ Twi, how many eggs do ya want?” he asked.

Twilight put a hoof to her chin in thought. “The usual two should be good enough,” Her stomach suddenly growled in protest. “Aheh...better make that three!” she announced, blushing.

Spike rolled his eyes, a smile on his face. “Yeah, yeah...say, do we have any more OJ?” he asked. The dragon opened the fridge and poked a head inside. “Pssh...bone dry.”

“Oh! How can I forget to pick up so orange juice?” Twilight asked. “Did you put it on the grocery list?”

Spike audibly gulped. “Um, it may have slipped my mind.” He chuckled nervously.

It was Twilight’s turn to roll her eyes. “Nevermind it then,” she said, calming Spike. “Could you get me a glass of water?”

Spike grabbed a medium sized glass. “One glass of water coming right up!” he announced, thrusting the cup in the air. The drake raised an eyebrow at Twilight’s giggle. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, just the way you say ‘water’, it’s cute.” she said, continuing to giggle.

Spike sighed in slight annoyance. “And exactly what’s wrong with the way I pronounce it?” he asked. “Seemed perfectly fine to me.”

“You pronounce it like ‘wah-tah’, it’s pronounced ‘war-ter’. Kind of like how it’s spelled.” she responded matter of factly.

Spike huffed. “Oh I’m pronouncing it weird? You're adding an extra ‘r’ in there.” he pointed out.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well weird or not, that’s the way you say it.” She rose from her seat, now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to the little filly’s room.”

“Make sure to was your hooves with nice warm water,” Spike said, trying his best to emphasize his version of the word.

Twilight halted in her tracks and grimaced. “Spike, say it with me; ‘war-ter, warter, water.”

Spike flagged his guardian. “You say it like this Twi, ‘wah-tah, wahtah, water. What’s so hard to understand about it?” he asked.

Twilight groaned in frustration. “You say it like you're from Manehatten! Why use an accent?”

“I’m not using an accent, that’s how you pronounce the word!” exclaimed Spike. Both the unicorn and the dragon locked each other in a stare down.

“Do I really need to bust out the dictionary just to prove you wrong?” asked Spike. “Because I will.”

“Go ahead...prove that you’re wrong,” dared Twilight.

The dragon narrowed his eyes. He slowly left the kitchen and headed over to a bookshelf. His finger traced alongside the books. “Aha, here we go!” he exclaimed, pulling out a large red book. “Equestrian Dictionary!”

“Not so fast, Spike,” interrupted Twilight. She used her telekinesis to pull the book away from Spike’s grasp. “This is last year’s dictionary Spike, the terms are out of date.”

The dragon’s eye twitched in disbelief. “Are you serious!? I’m sure the terms are just fine.”

Twilight shook her head. “No way Spike, we’ll just have to get somepony else’s opinion on it. Then, they can tell you that I’m right.”

“But you’re not right!” yelled Spike. “You say the word, ‘wah-tah’!”

“No it’s ‘war-ter’, why do you keep pronouncing it like that!?”

“Gah!” groaned Spike. He grabbed one of Twilight’s hooves and headed for the door. “Come on, we’ve got to settle this once and for all.” The two left the library and headed into town. After a while of searching for someone to clarify their ordeal, they found a certain wall eyed pegasus delivering mail to Sugarcube Corner.

“Derpy!” shouted Spike, trying to get the ditzy mare’s attention. The mail mare turned towards the dragon with a smile.

“Hiya Spike, hiya Twilight! What’s up?” she asked.

The unicorn and dragon shared a look. “Derpy, we need your help. How do you say the word ‘water’?” asked Twilight.

The yellow maned mare stifled a giggle. “Why do you say it like that?” she asked.

Spike cheered as Twilight’s jaw dropped. “Aha! I knew it! You say water my way!” he proclaimed proudly. The drake’s enthusiasm was lost as Derpy’s suppressed giggles were once again heard. “Huh?” asked Spike.

“Silly dragon!” chided Derpy. “Everypony knows you say it like this....” she cleared her throat. “...way-ter, wayter, water.”

Spike and Twilight shared a look. “Really?” they asked in unison.

Derpy nodded in approval. “Yep! Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my mail mare duties!” With a salute, Derpy flew into the air, and away from the baffled unicorn and dragon.

Twilight sighed. “Perhaps she isn’t the best pony to try and get in information from?” she suggested.

Spike shrugged in response. “Whatever, I’m kinda over it now,” he admitted.

Twilight nodded in agreement. “Yeah, so am I,” she said. The two shared a laugh before deciding to head home.

“I can’t believe we spent half the morning arguing over pronunciation How...wasteful,” said Twilight.

“Yeah, that was really...oh my gosh.”

Twilight looked at Spike’s hysterical expression with confusion. “Spike? What’s wrong-” Twilight’s question was lost to her as she caught sight of the inferno. The treehouse was being engulfed with tall orange flames. Even from the far distance away she was, Twilight could feel the heat nearly burn her eyelashes off.

The unicorn sighed. “You forgot to turn off the stove, didn’t you?”

The dragon merely nodded.

“And now the treehouse is on fire?” she asked.

Again, another nod.

“Of course...”

A firepony suddenly barreled past the two. “All right! We need to get some way-ter on this blaze pronto!”

“Oh, come on!”

Comments

[TambourineBlossom]

I say it 'walter', but only because it annoys my boyfriend.

[KiaraKovu123]

Simply hilarious! I pronounce it "waa-ter". Which is...the way it is pronounced. Right?

Anyway,Have a waterlogged Spike:

[Vagando Baronessa]

I am saying "wah-ter", but in American place I am at is say "wooder!" Is all different with accent!

I am like story, very cute!

[killingfrenzycreator]

This was actually really well written. You get a like and fave.

[Swashbucklist]

This fanfic completely fails to get it right. It's so wrong it's not even funny.

Derpy's a deliverymare, not a mailmare.

[Mr Afro Pony]

3268081
DAMNIT THAT'S IT GAME OVER!

[kingtiger666]

Wadder. Wadder. See? Water.

[Mr Afro Pony]

Holy Shit Soundspeed just read my fic

[Seether00]

Auga!

[Zeyon The Green]

Itsˈ(wȯ-tər orˈwä-tər) according to Merriam Webster online. H2o and you are good to go.

[Samey90]

I actually say it like Spike, although my phonetics teacher says it "wooder" (I wanted to write about rhotic and non-rhotic accents, but probably no one would care anyway )

[Jdts7]

Relevant vid is relevant:

or pony version:

and am i the only one that just pronounces it wa-ter? (or wah-ter, spelling doesn't really change it)

[Nintendo4an1]

Halarious!

[raw19]

That ending sold it for me. Most excellent.

[ThaStrangr]

Just thought I should point a few things out:

She rose from her seat, now if you’ll

Forgot to separate the dialogue from the narration

Make sure to was

Forgot an "h" at the end of wash

Not trying to nag. A fic this great shouldn't have such mistakes.
"Way-ter" Oh, that Derpy!

[Princess Glitzy]

There's a video like this online. It has Derpy, Twilight and some other pony. I can't remember what it was called, though. One line was "You're gonna shoot me if I shoot myself? That doesn't even make any sense!" Please tell me if you know what I'm talking about.

[Mr Afro Pony]

3415818

I do. It's linked in the comments below.

[Princess Glitzy]

3416528 Thank you! I looked and found it!

[SCP Pinkamena]

Say it right:
Wah Ter, wahter, water
Not WAY ter or WAR ter* (*wtf? People really say that?) it's wah-ter

[BetaHammer]

This is a very interesting debate, however I am from Baltimore and we say water a little differently.
Wu-ter
Yeah it even sounds strange to me.

[Golden Script]

the dictionary.com pronunciation of it is "wot-er". though i say it more with a "wod-er" instead of a t.

and dat fireman!!

img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/full/comics-happle-tea-fireman-internet-dependence-848871.jpeg

[DeathOcty]

This is amazing

[TheOneAJ]