Hokuto Ulrik
Joined 3rd Jun, 2013 ·
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looks like it has potential, looking forward to what this story will become, remember character development. Praise The Sun!
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I will do my best to make sure that the characters will be as developed as I can. Hopefully I can find a beta that will help me stay on track with it.
Mako?
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It will be explained in the next couple of chapters, but it is from Final Fantasy VII. I'm pulling from a few different games and animes for his skill sets.
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ok
MOOAAAARR
please
I like it so far.
I do hope this is a sign this story will be updated more soon...
7877467 Got the next chapter in progress right now.
Noice. Keep it going, this is getting real good! (Not that it wasn't already, but anything that keeps the quality high and the story flowing [almost] always is a good thing to build upon what is there.
7883624 Thanks! I am still brain storming what is going to happen next chapter, but there will be some shake ups in the future, some good and some bad, depending upon who you are.
I just read this entire story in one go and I have to say... I want to see more!
Some stuff I had to look up like the buster sword from final fantasy. Honestly I don't know that much about the whole final fantasy franchise mainly because I wasn't allowed to play due to my older brother hogging all the good games growing up. Even if I bought them.
7896552 Things like that make me glad I was an only child. But if you look at some of the wikis they will show a lot of information on the SOLDIER program and other elements that I will be using. I am mainly going to be pulling from FF VII, Halo, and maybe some stuff from Mass Effect form certain elements.
Nice man keep it up or girl don't know gender
Good chapter can't wait to see more.
also you should space your paragraphs it's easier to read that way
Oh man, there's gonna be a shake-up in that military structure, and I can't wait to see it....
Oh man, there's gonna be a shake-up in the military order, and I can't wait to see it...
7898956 Fixed. Have been having issues with importing files lately for some reason.
Literally just found this. I like it. Dont let it die maybe? More updates fam? Because i can see it says started in 2013 ;-;
I like dis.
7907522 I'm working on it, I work full time and I was in college until this last december.
I wonder what Rainbow Dash's thoughts towards the investigation and temporary deactivation of the Wonderbolts will be?
7912284 Not a good one. But once the facts are laid out and with what happened to Emerald (Soarin) I think that eventually she would come around and still will want to join, if only to make it a team that is worthy of respect.
7912471 reading through past comments that you had posted here, I see that you were looking fir a beta reader. Still looking for that? Because if so, I'd like to offer my services.
7913618 certainly. having a second set of eyes to find mistakes would be excellent.
O.o
Wow,
One hot scene after the next...
Brilliant storyline...
And one of the hottest smutscenes I ever read..
He Kind of reminds me a little bit of James Bond
Minus the suit and car.
Sexy Soarin with both genitalia in your story :-D
Good backstory for her + family history
A few small things like where did he store his SSD Petabyte laptop until now? And how where and what?
Convenience of storyline telling... Perhaps a little bit more explaining of the mechanics behind this...
All in all
Well done
DD
8063791 Basically think of his rucksack as a bag of holding from D&D, but without an limit on it. Kind of like Hermione's beaded bag from Deathly Hallows, she basically dumped her entire bedroom into it and still had room to spare. Also thank you for the feedback on the chapter. I don't get a lot of feedback on stories and this is the first clop chapter that has gotten feedback. I appreciate knowing that it has been well received. Oh, and Emerald will get her own chapter on occasion, including her trip home. I have a few ideas bouncing around about her mom taking the mickey out on her when she visits.
I feel a little like I am starting in the middle of the story due to the way that you introduce the character however the way you do is a classic way movies tall some stories.
You know this is interesting in that he instantly knows that it is mako that changed him he must be a final fantasy fan.
Please continue this story or update it to hitas
8126598 I am slowly working on updates, but i have five stories going here and I am working full time with a family, so sometimes i don't get a lot of time to write.
8126599 oh I understand you must have a busy life with all that but I love this story so if you could focus on this one a little more than the others I would appreciate it.
Dang dude. Two chapters in a row. Can't wait for the next chapter.
8219667 Should see one of my other stories, like ten chapters in less than a week. I have been hitting a good groove lately.
sorry but ya should have gave warning about the futa thing. it's not my thing
but still like the story.
I posted one of my OCs on here, PM me to learn more on her if you want
I have an oc myself. Pm me for details.
I have a thestral mare I could provide, as long as you don't mind the only existing picture of her being a pony town character image.
I havent commented on this story yet as Ive been to busy reading it. Its really good in all the right ways!
Also for the O.C mine is a nightstalker called Silent Fist. P.M Me for more details
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"Eyes infused with mako energy, a Soldier trademark"
-Zack Fair.
I ask to adapt oc alicorn oc Ayumi The Tempest Flare into a saberhorn mare. I'll pm you with her details (ps she was originally a saberhorn so it's pretty easy to revert her back to one)
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Just let me know once you have everything together.
Aw!
I have a thestral that you could use if you're still taking OCs
8993451
PM me the details.
That's German. Not Russian. It would be "Da."
As always giod chapter. I've seen the scootabuse before but not one with the mom included. Well done
Original model Henry rifles? Nope. Dirt can get in the magtube. Direct finger contact with the hot barrel? Double nope. Give me a Winchester 1892 any day of the year over that. .44-40 is also more powerful than a .44 Rimfire
Also, nothing wrong with the SAA, but the Schofield would be a much better option. You can actually open the top up instead of having to go through all of the steps of reloading the SAA.
See, I would be fine with this if Emerald was just an OC, but since she's the feminine side of a hermaphrodite Soarin, I don't like it