• Member Since 21st Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Crowley


I write second-person sensual fiction featuring you and your favourite ponies. If there's anything you'd like to know, just ask, I'm always happy to answer questions!

Comments ( 260 )

“He’s my handsome lake-loving cuddle-fish.”

I am so on board for this ride already. Following with a vengeance! :pinkiehappy:
That said, one bit jumped out at me whilst reading:

Did you missed it!?

While this calls to mind some linguistic quirks from a few folks I've met in the Midwest, this still seems a bit off. Working as intended?

tiime

Think you pressed the 'i' top hard there.

Nice to see you brought your husband along for the ride, Twi!”

He was Captain of the Guard. We all know he's picked up some trolling skills from Tia.

3715921
Cheers, fix'd!
3715932
Whoops, my laptop has a bad habit of double-keying! Fix'd.

3715936 I'd rather double hit than not have my keys not registered. My bottom row of keys is blocked by crumbs and dog hairs.

This is still damn good. I'm still also waiting on the Luna fic. (Non NMM)

3715946
That'll be a good while yet, but don't worry, have a few very good things planned for that one! :P

I hope this doesn't sound too nit-picky, but wouldn't the term "sister in-law" be more accurate than "step-sister"?

3716049
Oh yeah, that's the word I was trying to think of! No wonder it sounded a little off to me.

Cheers.

“You arrived at the exact time I predicted, in fact. Are ready to finally meet my brother and my step-sister?

This sentence feels a tad awkward to me. It does sound like Twilight, but you're overcomplicating it. How about this?

"You arrived at the exact time i predicted. So, are you ready to finally meet my brother and sister-in-law?"

I don't know, that just reads better to me.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this story. I've loved every single one of yours, and I hope this is no different.

3716066
Cheers, I appreciate the input! I assure you, this fic will be worth waiting for each chapter!

3716127 No problem, the story seems to be well on it's way to the feature box.

Good quality chapter! Looking forward to the rest!

Yes! A sequal to one of my all time favorite stories! :pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::rainbowdetermined2::twilightblush:

3715911

(Old lady is wiping away tears of laughter. Forrest is not amused.)

You arrived at the exact time i predicted.

i should be I.

Or just, you know, just my brother and my sister-in-law.

Can't have two justs there. The two commas means that 'you know' can be taken out, so "Or just just my..." doesn't make much sense, now does it? X3

Well, this is gonna be interesting, to say the least. Unique-ish take on Armor and Cadance, so this should be a good read! (Like we should be surprised by that. <.< )

After reading that last line in this chapter, the MLP theme song started playing in my head.

I wonder if Twilight perfected the Gill-giver spell. Then again, it wouldn't be too difficult to turn water directly into air by means of an electric force field. Well, maybe ponies haven't worked out that oxygen can be made if you put an electric charge through water. Maybe it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility to create some kind of electric force field over the mouth and nostrils, so that if somepony were to inhale underwater, the water would pass through the field, be electrically charged, and the oxygen will be extracted from it. But then again, where would the remaining hydrogen gas go? Maybe the field can be calibrated to block it out. I suppose if the field were just a one way barrier, it wouldn't obstruct an exhale from said pony. This all seems very complex, and the gill giver spell may be overall easier to cast, but reshaping pony respiration does sound like quite a complex task by itself.

Ehh, who knows where this story will lead, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I like where this is going. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

3716714 hydrogen isnt toxic, although you may need to clear your lungs of it after you leave the water, and there should be enough oxygen in the gas mix to allow for breathing.

this is conjecture as the 'electric' force field could ignite the hydrogen and back fire into your lungs.

3717156 tiberius, I believe your conclusion is wrong. When doing normal electrolysis, Hydrogen, being electropositive, will naturally be attracted to a negative current, while Oxygen, which tends to form electronegative ions, will be attracted to positive charges. Anyway, when you do this, you can collect the separate gases by placing test tubes over the ends of the wires. However, the gases will not ignite.

Another thing that must be considered is that the oxygen resulting from the decomposition will comprise 33% of the volume of the gaseous product. Oxygen in the atmosphere makes up about 20-22% of the air we breathe. While this difference doesn't make much of a difference at the surface, when going to depth in water, pressure increases, and the longer you spend underwater at greater depth, the chance for oxygen poisoning becomes greater. I am a certified SCUBA diver myself, and while you CAN dive with "Enriched Air" you have to have an advanced course to train you on the parameters of using such equipment.

TL;DR: basically the Hydrogen wouldn't ignite, but the oxygen produced from electroloysis could pose a threat to untrained individuals.

I expect more to follow.

3717523 cool, I'm unfamiliar with the electrolysis process, and i only did a quick search to see if the hydrogen gas would be toxic immediately.

Read the entire prequel and what you have so far of this one just tonight, I might have just a tiny addiction :P

3716616
*piano roll*

My little pony, my little pony...
Ahhhhhhhhhh

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3717523
Okay, last Twilight Sparkle fic I wrote got people debating over the effects of hypothermia and near-drowning. And now it's sequel's just been posted, and we're talking about the effects of electronically-charged hydrogen.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/4/14/297688/thumb.gif
It's kind of awesome how my little romantic clopfics can bring out such wonderfully bizarre scientific discussion.

3717805
You'd be amazed. I think some of Creeper's stories have sparked such discussions as well.

Great sequel so far bro. Liked the /)(\ at the end. Can't wait for next chap chap!

When I first read that description, I originally thought, it's okay dude, I hate the ocean too: salt water, fish and people sh** in it, the gritty sand, terrible parking and the obnoxious Canadian tourists. Still there is a lot to fear: jellyfish, sharks, drowning and losing your car keys.

My money is on our protagonist having had been in a "Perfect Storm" scenario, only in his case he was the only survivor.

BRD

Or trying to keep the secret that, while you’re among the best swimmers in Equestria, you have a paralysing fear of the ocean?

The word phobia or irrational fear would be best for the bold/underline word. :applejackunsure:

3718984

Nah, dude, nah. I got one word for you: pirates!:trollestia:

WHY WOULD YOU OVERCOME ME


WHAT DID I DO

Hate to spoil the ending, but what happens is Discord Discordify's the main character, and he becomes addicted to the sea, but he cant swim, and he kill himself in the ocean. Good story.

3718984 I have seen a lot of bad OC's, Even some Right on this page, but actually, I find yours amazing. Your my favorite OC ever. :pinkiehappy:

3717715 Funny, When I play grand theft auto, I always break out into the mlp theme song while bashing peoples faces in with baton's. There may be some truth to this...

Yay! you are back I will have to read this when I have more time Favored of course :rainbowlaugh:

3717805
We are merely contemplating how Twilight might solve this little conundrum of underwater survival, though, as the author, that decision is entirely yours to make. I hope it turns out well.

3720130

Aaaaand there go my sides.

3719284
I hated the theme song to begin with because it felt so cheesy but after hearing that piano I feel like I can finally go kill trevor now.

3726102 Pianos make everything better. :derpytongue2:

Dan

3715911
I don't know if he should be flattered.

tnaqua.org/media/wallpaper/cuttlefish_800x600.jpg

I need to finish this story. It has me so glued to this site, its not eveny fun. Your a great writer and I love how you put the reader in the main ponys perspective. Keep up the great work /)(\

Slight oversight there, not mentioning something like that to her before. :twilightblush:
At the same time, though, when would it come up in conversation? :unsuresweetie:

Armour... you fat bastard! He's too relaxed around the stallion his LSBFF...

And I agree, pools are better than the ocean. At least you can heat them!

All those cinnamon rolls... Cue the joke about Shining's armor not fitting anymore, and him complaining how it "must have shrunk in the wash". :twilightsheepish:

Shits bout' to go down!... or not...

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