Meet Zeus, don't say it Zeus, it's pronounced Zay-oos. After Zeus. That's what he calls himself, he forgot his true name centuries ago. He's a mage, not just any mage, a human mage. An immortal human mage. Let me explain: he woke up in the Everfree 3,569 years ago, killed an Ophiotaurus, sacrificed its entrails in a fire, as the prophesy states. Gained immortality and mastery of magic. Expectantly lightning. He was 20 at the time. Now he's 3,592, older than Celestia. Now Luna's back and he's watching her. Comments needed.
To all haters: AT LEAST I'M TRYING PEOPLE!!!
Cover Art belongs to Argent-Sky.
Chapters (2)
Sounds Cool
Reading this gave me a headache. I think you need an editor.
3273767 Yeah...wanna be mine?
ill fav seems itresting
3274050Thanks. Your the second one and it only was posted yesterday.
Desperately needs an editor.
Also needs a plot.
3274522I'm not to the ploty part yet. Zeus is going to Canterlot. Plot enough for you?
Achieved a 'Gary Stu' status.
Oh God, a Gary Stu.
i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/8/9/3/168893_v1.gif
Is... is it dead yet?
"That's what he calls himself, he forgot his true name centuries ago. He's an immortal, human, mage. 3,592 years old. Still looks 20. He woke up in the Everfree 3,569 years ago. Killed an Ophiotaurus. Gained immortality and mastery of magic."
So, were you in a hurry while writing this?
3275055Huh?
3275750yeah. And it's my first story...
3276049
Don't write if you are in a hurry and being new is no excuse. You completely ignored the basic guide that fimfiction provides.
3276046 Gary Stu. A character that is so powerful and has no flaws whatsoever, and therefore becomes impossible to take seriously, as it looks like the author is trying far too hard to make them "cool."
Also universally loathed by everyone in the writing community.
3276107 There were guidelines?
3277914 Ever watched "Soul Eater"?
3276107 I made the description more awesome.
3278193 No, though I fail to see any relevance here. No crossover tags, for starters.
And, for Christ's sake, you made it worse.
3278373
I gave him Free's type of immortality. Also, did I really?
3278165 Check the ''Writing Guide'' under ''FAQ''.
And try to get an editor or proofreader.
3279709 I'm already looking for one...want be?
3279729 If you checked my comment, you would see that I provided you with some links to two groups where you can get someone to help you.
As for me.... sorry.
3279740 Oh. Thanks. I made some small changes, like paragraphs, details,and such.
3279806 derp this story is interesting but becoming a cliche as hell type...I SACRIFICED A DEAD THING A MAH BOB AND NOW I AM IMMORTAL! FEAR ME MORTALS.
3281697 the Ohiothingy is from Greek mythology. There prophesy states the he who sacrifices its entrails to fire will gain the power to slay the gods. Celly and Luna are worshipped as gods by the ponies. He may end up killing them. And maybe Discord.
3281697 He didn't sacrifice it to anyone, he just sacrificed it.
3288479Oh ._. TIL and that makes the story better...less gary stu i guess :P
3291537 TIL?
3292779 My word... it means Today I Learned.
And oh god my headache...i hate meetings...fml
~nightmare
3293195 Why you no stories?
3297256 because im lazy. there.
i have some storys(the starts...) that i can make mlp related but i have yet to that ive been debating posting...but then again im a lazy person who i doubt would have the time to put them on and update regularly :(
3300522 I see.
3301215 yup. and YAY! i just sent my start up chappy to my proof reader so expect a chapter from me in a week to two weeks :D (my proof reader is over seas atm)
3320169 I am following you, so good! Can't wait!
3329690 prepare to be dissapointed :( its my FIRST story so im expecting it to be shit :P but oh well ill learn and improve hopefully! :) now i just need to edit it myself...i have loopholes...and i left it at a stupid part -_-
question: do you think 1500 words is OK for a chapter?
3330452 probubly not a shitty as mine.
3334664 :P hehe oh well at least ill get better :D
SPOILER: its a AU on earth and a BLEACH XOVER with mlp :D (bleach first then mlp added :D this should be interesting....)
3334721 cool.
3334736 i just noticed you AND me have both had a week long conversation. on the internet.
also i like pancakes and im REALLY liking this new mouse i got. like seriously its amazing. now i just need to figure out how to bind the middle key to do stuffs.
(i REALLY need a bot to auto make my signature -_-)
~Nightmare Demon of the Shadows
3334811 everyone likes pancakes.
3334818 except my cousin.. :(
3339531 ...is he a demon?
3349093Yes.
3365937 should I get
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3906989312/hB42FA5CC/
3366008 maybe.
ill just pull my trust sword out of my back! s228.photobucket.com/user/kingofgames26/media/Black_Sword_by_DarkXStrike.jpg.html
i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee167/kingofgames26/Black_Sword_by_DarkXStrike.jpg
3366014
t.qkme.me/3oucac.jpg
I see you took my suggestion,Good luck with the story though
3386478 Thanks...What was your advice again?
3390229 Zay-oos instead of Zeus,Because taking the name of a god is bloody egotistical