[Anthro characters. Set in a rule 63 universe.]
Davril Longfang thought he’d finally got it made, one final contract that would fill his pockets with so much coin he’d be able to retire from the often dangerous job of being a professional thief.
A contract to steal something very powerful from a cruel ruler in a faraway land beyond Cyrium.
Now, stuck in a completely new world with its own problems and internal conflicts. Davril has to fit in with the locals whilst at the same time trying to fulfill the contract given to him by the stranger.
Cover art done by me, background taken from 'Fall Weather Friends' episode.
Thank you to my pre-readers DVAN56 and Draconian Soul and my editors Merc The Jerk and Jake The Army Guy, go check out some of their stories!
Well, let's see where this journey takes us
Dis gon b gud.
Extra quote
Prereader comment.
This... Is actually very intriguing. I like this guy and the world you have put him in. I shall continue on...
3262091
Thanks for pointing those out for me. 
Whoops
should i take up this adventure....
<Rolls dice. Lands on 20>
Yes.
Even if it's rule 63, this is (I think) the first Spike x human fic and I will enjoy this to the max!
Let's see where this heads, captain.
I like it really good please update !!!!
Well this seems interesting. And it is a human/rule63 Spike romance which is a plus.
I will watch this.
On a similar note, really interested in finding out who sent him to Equestria, and who she was tqlking about.
Finally a female spike romance fanfic! Thank you kind sir!
I am going to give a try!
See how my tres god english is!
3262091
Wake up jake....Wake up and smell the ashes.
3262139 we meet again 101....
Ok i feel REALLY stupid but what character is who????
dusk=twilight
solaris = celesta
elusive = rarity
barbara=spike... thats about all i can figure out
~Nightmare
That is an awesome picture of Vlad Taltos...
Damn you!!
*Shakes Fist*
When i saw that pic on the home page i thought someone had actually made a Taltos - Mlp cross over and i was happy...
3262582
You got them right :P
Another romantic Anthro R63-Spike fic, did you say?
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/48209791/Meme/megusta.svg
Sounds like fun.
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BTW, out of curiosity, do "An Elusive Heart.", "To win the Shield's heart." and "The Dragon's Rogue" share any of the same universe, or are they completely unrelated?
Did you... Make a TF2 reference?!
You, sir or madam, are awesome.
Can thief use magic or does he leave that to his Dragon friend?
This mythopidia your's?
lol, Team Fortress 2 reference of meet the Medic
3262698
Same here...It actually took me a couple read-throughs of the description to convince myself it wasn't.
Really, someone should do that. I would give them all the likes on Fimfiction.
3262990 Kewl but what about the rest ?_?
Note to self R63 is awesome yet strange...
~Nightmare
3266076
Bubble Berry - Pinkie Pie
Rainbow Blitz - Rainbow Dash
Butterscoch - Fluttershy
Applejack - Applejack
And I think he's using Artimis for Luna but that shouldn't work mainly because Artimis is the name of the Greek GODDESS of the moon.
3263757
They don't exist in the same universe because in 'Elusive Heart' Barb ends up with Elusive, in this story she's only just gone to ask him to find out he's taken.
3266840 thanks :D
and nice rainbow blitz. win.
Okay. I read through the first chapter, and I had a few comments to make:
First, you don't do a good job of establishing the main character. Rather than showing him in action, you simply rattle off an uninteresting backstory before moving to show him doing things that aren't very interesting, i.e. he walks into a tavern and drinks ale with a dwarf. We get that he doesn't take a lot of things seriously and he's bored, but those aren't very distinctive personality traits when he shares them with most other characters who follow his stock character archetype. And because he isn't really established as anything other than "standard fantasy thief type," Davril just isn't very interesting. Imagine this idea as an alternative:
Instead of the narration just telling us that he's a thief and that he's bored with what he's doing, we opened on him doing a thieving job. And during this thieving job it's really tense and stuff, maybe he's inches away from tipping off a guard, or maybe the guards are already tipped off and looking for him. So you have this tense situation, but he's completely bored. Maybe he's got a piece of parchment that he's doodling on while they're looking for him. That way we have an exciting opening and our protagonist is introduced in a way that makes him stand out, and illustrates his predicament. That'd be funnier, it'd engage the audience with action, and it'd bring the character more to life.
The fantasy world you build is also fairly bland and generic, and it doesn't help that you dump names on us without any context as to their meaning. You name characters and places and things that don't mean anything to the audience because there's very little context or relevance to the events happening. A question: The setting of this fantasy world, with its two moons and northern and southern kingdoms, the dwarf innkeeper, will the two guards; will they actually be significant to the overall story? Because with Davril heading through a portal to Equestria, it's hard to see what relevance the snow elf guard is going to have to the plot.
Also, just because something was funny in Team Fortress 2 does not mean you should use it in your story.
Now, your prose itself isn't bad (apart from some words that shouldn't be capitalized), but what you really need to focus on is giving the reader a hook or a reason to care.
3278470
Firstly, thank you for the feedback. It always helps.
As to your comment, I'm most likely am going to go back and edit in some changes regarding the character himself after reading your feedback (I snickered to myself regarding the doodling part). I originally didn't want to over do the first chapter when the second wouldn't be as long, and again I see your point in regarding the names of other characters and places, I'll see to sorting out problems regarding that with the pre readers and editor as well as the folks I bounce ideas off. As to the Team Fortress 2 bit, each to their own I guess, I found it funny to put in as did my pre-readers and editor. Guess it's just a case of each to their own I suppose.
Thanks again for the feedback.
update?
3310088
With any luck (if my editing/pre-reading team can get it back to me by then) on Thursday. I've been a little busy dealing with some uni work to fully work on some things.
3310104 okay
I finally got to read this, the first chapter at least. And I'm liking it so far.
Also, you did the art yourself? I didn't know you had both writing and art talent.
3334878
Thanks, and nah I'm just mediocre. You should see the work of the people in my illustration class, they put anything I've ever done to shame and rightly so.
Way to go Dusk/Twilight. So much for not judging a book by its cover.
Anyway, another good chapter. Also that is a nice cover image. Though Barb's mouth/snout looks kinda off.
Good story so far
Awesome update can't wait till the next chapter
Yes, an update that I have literally been eager for since I read the 2nd chapter.
Awesome story so far, and I Must say that Barb looks damn sexy on the Cover art :P
My reaction: *scroll through pages with stories, spots a nice looking cover art* HOT DAMN!
Anyhow, I cant wait for the next chapter!
It's good but is rule 63 really necessary here?
3356485 Yes, since so few authors can do it properly, seeing it done well is very necessary.
3359245
While that is true I still feel that the whole thing is just confusing but that is just my personal take on the whole rule 63 thing
. One last thing YES FINALLY A ROUGH/ASSASSIN/THIEF CHARACTER.
Nnniice!!!
I really like how this is shaping up.
Well written with a plausible plot premise. I will be waiting eagerly for future updates.
add on obligatory thumb, fave, etc...
The act of which thou hast committed manifests itself before mine very eyes.
3371291
im going out and saying that that is a:
refrence
This is the first r63 fic I have ever read, and all I can say is... This is awesome!
I know its backwards,But fuck it!
In their tongue,She is Dovahkiin,Dragonborn!
3359270 I don't remember him saying anything about an assassin and it's Rogue, not rough
. Also, rogues are anything (Mostly in gaming terms) that has to do with deceiving something/one.
I liked the ending to this chApter can't wait till the next chApter