• Member Since 21st Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen July 20th

Rarityfan87


T

Spike has just turned 18 (in pony years) he is now considered an adult. Normally Spike would be happy due to the occasion, until Twilight tells him the bad news. Spike feels that something strange is happening, like things aren't what they should be.

This takes place before season 4.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 41 )

Wait! How did Spike explain himself? What did he say/do with his friends when he got back? And how long did he stay?
In all seriousness though, great story I loved it. Great to read :twilightsmile:

WoW! :pinkiehappy: This should have a sequel or maybe more chapters to it, because this is real good. :twilightblush: Now the problem is, how will the others accept Spike back, and if Twilight tells them about him eating meat?! :pinkiegasp: Also, Spike told :trollestia: the truth about her ruling! :flutterrage:

3588758
I might write a sequel, depends on if I can come up with enough material. I'm glad you liked it! I put a lot of work into this story. And I agree, Luna should be the ruling princess! :flutterrage:

3588783 indeed, at least Luna would consider Spike's feelings about the abrupt decision of forcing him to leave Ponyville.

3588823
That, and the fact she would find a happy medium, Celestia is too black or white. Luna can look in between the two, at the fifty shades of gray

Must say this was a really awesome one-shot! :pinkiehappy:
Was a bit shocked at the hunting bit though :fluttershysad:
Nevertheless it was quite an enjoyable read, well done sir! :raritywink:

3588871
Thank you! :yay:
I'm glad you like it. Now what will Fluttershy react to Spike eating meat... :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

3588881
More importantly how will Rainbow Dash react to spike eating Gilda!? :rainbowderp:

I didn't really like this story. It has a good premise and all, but it progresses way too fast for my likes. It was also added to the Spike shipping group which is how I found it in the first place. I don't see any Spike shipping in this story and that kind of disappoints me. With when Gilda was killed and eaten by Spike. I don't think he would eat it that fast. If I were him, I wouldn't hesitate to help Gilda. Even before she was killed I would've helped her up. If he were too late to save her, I don't think that he would just stay there and eat her. I would've flown off. With the way Celestia is portrayed in her letter, it makes it sound like she's is a Dictator. Besides, addressing the meat problem. Fluttershy takes care of a freakin' bear. Bears eat fish, so Fluttershy has to get him food somehow. If that were the case, he could just head over the Fluttershys' cottage and ask for some.

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dddddddddddddddooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

3588871 plenty of spike hunting stories... the guy who wrote spikes sexual revolution wrote a story about spike hunting

3589208
Please explain what you mean by it's way too fast. I'm just curious because I would like to better this story. Some examples from the story would be nice, also about the Celestia thing, I honestly don't believe she's a great leader, but that's my opinion, everyone has their own.

3588900
Depends really I'd say she'd be a bit upset.:ajsleepy:

3589219
Ummm... could you be a little more oh I don't know... specific?
Unless you explain to me why and where you think it's too fast, I won't be able to make it better.

3589368
By saying it's moving way too fast, I mean that one moment he is arguing with Twilight about being forced to leave, and the next minute he is agreeing with her. And when he finds out that he is the son of the king. The way he acts just seems unnatural. Another example of the story moving too fast is with eatjg the meat. He is just sickened one moment and the next he is fine with eating it.

It's too quick.....

And I call bullshit. There are animals other than ponies in Equestria, such as deer and rabbits. There should not have been something as natural as a dragon's diet that basically makes him a pariah. Spike has already shown everypony that he, as a dragon, can live well with them. It's fucked up that they basically banished him because of his natural instincts.

and basically it's too black and white. An ideal leader needs to show that they have to do what is best for his/her people but at the same time knows that sometimes rules are meant to be broken---and in an related vein, breaking certain rules ultimately advances a civilization and allows things to grow.

:moustache::moustache::moustache:FREE SPIKE!!!!!:moustache::moustache::moustache:

You are a great writer!:rainbowdetermined2:

“Well Twilight I tired meat for the first time.”

How can one, simply tired meat. :trollestia:

I do not like how :trollestia:'s eyes are and her tone with Twilight and Spike. :pinkiegasp: Very suspenseful.

4228039
Very suspicious and suspenseful indeed. :trixieshiftright:

I can't decide maybe mix the two. you have torn me between the two:fluttershbad::applecry::fluttercry::raritycry::raritydespair: but you are a great author so it is up to you.



nice gilda kill in the original though:twilightsmile::pinkiehappy: I may be disturbed:pinkiehappy: but pinkie agrees

4244599
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:

I am working on chapter 2 and I think I know what direction I want to go, but I'm still pondering on a few paths. Also I'm glad you like the second version. I felt I needed to write a better version in my eyes.

Is the real Celestia trapped somewhere? Green eyes, really, I think this 'Celestia' is a changeling.

As long as no one dies (I'm gonna have to live with Spike eating meat) I like this version better :heart:

I think it is an improvement personally.:yay: The first chapter wasn't bad at all though, I just feel like this one was better established and put together more fluently sentence structure wise.:moustache:

Now the big question is what will be the upcoming dilemmas that Spike will face after this.:duck:

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4259963
Find out next time!
Same Bat time,
Same Bat channel! :rainbowwild:

I have a question for you are you going to make 2 versions of the beginning and have the ending possible for both or are you going to scrap the original and keep the 2nt version ? just a question you do not have to tell I was just wondering. still a great story by the way.:pinkiehappy::twilightsheepish::twilightblush:

4272948
The first story is a separate story. These chapters I'm writing now, are a re-write, so this one is a stand alone story. So the ending will only apply to the new one.

OMG OMG OMG OMGooooosh!!!!!
Need another chapter ASAP

This is great re-write and I love how, as the reader we can feel the same as Spike, sensing there is something's wrong, thanks to chapter 1. And when I read the first chapter I was like GREEN EYES!? CHANGELING!! And now in this chapter Spike had pointed out that she's not a changeling, but also had a nightmare about being too late and Ponyville destroyed by... changelings. This raises the question:
Is Spike certain about this 'Princess Celestia' not being a changeling or having something to do with the changelings?

Anyway, the fact that Spike can sense something is wrong plays another role, other than connecting with the reader (in a way). The other role it plays is that it can make reader ask themselves:
Is there something wrong?

In most cases this would become a subconscious question and the reader would also subconsciously say yes, because of two obvious hints in Chapter 1 (dodgy handwriting and green eyes), and then they would consciously wonder what the the problem is. Although if you actually stop and think, after seeing two big hints of trouble, Spike can just be paranoid, and this 'trouble' would either be non-existent, which would make no sense, but nevermind, or that it's something Twilight (and all of friends) can handle on her/their own. Although this seems a really small idea, it has the possibility to work well, if written in the right way, being an inexperienced writer myself, I wouldn't know where to start. But whichever way this story goes, I know it's going to be a great and enjoyable read :twilightsmile:

4281577
Wow, I'm glad you liked it. To be honest, you pointed out a few things even I didn't think of. Now you're scaring me about how I should end this. I had the plan, but I think I need to pull the plug and quit before I ruin it!

I'm just kidding, I won't quit, but I will continue down the path I planned for the ending, but I might make a few changes after seeing those things pointed out.

PS: Don't forget that Twilight saw it too (the writing and eye colour), or did Spike mistake that as well?

4281848 Oh yeah, of course Twilight saw it as well, but if I mentioned Twilight and some other ideas I planned to write it would have been a story not a comment :twilightsmile:

P.S. Sorry for scaring you :twilightblush:

4282873
Trust me, I'm used to long comments. When my grandma e-mails me, it's always the size of an essay. :rainbowlaugh:

And no worries, you just surprised me more than scared me. I hadn't thought of some of those ideas.

Has anyone ever told you you're smart?

4283004 No, no one has ever told me I'm smart, how come? :rainbowhuh:

i thought you were going to have a happy ending but this is still good..............
WHY DID YOU KILL THEM:fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::raritycry::raritydespair::applecry:
but like i sayed good job on both but i liked the concept of the first one

NO! They can't die, Spike doesn't deserve to be alone, if he believed Celestia, they might've had a chance. Spike didn't deserve any of this, neither did the main six :fluttercry: No!!!! It's not fair :fluttercry:

4296340 4296356
I am going to write a second ending, for those who want a happy ending.

No not fluttershy! why!!!:raritycry::fluttercry:...... Damn it all.:heart: Great story very emotionally involved. Super intense and suspenseful. :trollestia:

know you only commented on my ruling because you were angry, but don’t you ever do that again! This is my kingdom and I will rule it as I see fit.

... So Luna IS an underling. So much for Celestia's equality speech to Luna. An apparently there's no freedom of speech in Equestria. :derpyderp1::moustache::derpyderp1::derpyderp1::moustache::derpytongue2::derpyderp2:

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